Mike and Arthur were talking about the new units they had.
(This part of the episode will be written in script form to prevent confusion)
Mike: Look Arthur, if you're the manager of these guys, you must know all of them.
Arthur: I certainly do.
Mike: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's on the team.
Arthur: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give members now-a-days very peculiar names.
Mike: You mean funny names?
Arthur: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Mike: His brother Daffy
Arthur: Daffy Dean...
Mike: And their French cousin.
Arthur: French?
Mike: Goofe'
Arthur: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's first, What's second, I Don't Know is third...
Mike: That's what I want to find out.
Arthur: I say Who's first, What's second, I Don't Know's third.
Mike: Are you the manager?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: You gonna be the coaching them too?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: And you don't know the fellows' names.
Arthur: Well I should.
Mike: Well then who's first?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: I mean the fellow's name.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The first guy.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The first baseman.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy playing...
Arthur: Who is on first!
Mike: What are you askin' me for!?
Arthur: That's the man's name!
Mike: That's who's name?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: Well go ahead and tell me.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: That's who?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: Look, you gotta first unit right?
Arthur: Certainly.
Mike: Who's first?
Arthur: That's right.
Mike: When you pay off the first unit every month, who gets the money?
Arthur: Every dollar of it.
Mike: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name of the first unit.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy that gets...
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: Who gets the money...
Arthur: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Mike: Who's wife?
Arthur: Yes. What's wrong with that?
Mike: I wanna know is when you sign up the first unit, how does he sign his name?
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: How does he sign...
Arthur: That's how he signs it.
Mike: Who?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: All I'm trying to find out is what's the first guys name.
Arthur: No. What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first.
Mike: One unit at a time!
Arthur: Well, don't change the units around.
Mike: I'm not changing nobody!
Arthur: Take it easy, buddy.
Mike: I'm only asking you, who's the first guy?
Arthur: That's right.
Mike: OK.
Arthur: Alright.
Mike: What's the first guy's name?
Arthur: No. What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first.
Mike: I don't know.
Arthur: He's third, we're not talking about him.
Mike: Now how did I get to the third unit?
Arthur: Why you mentioned his name.
Mike: If I mentioned the third unit's name, who did I say is third?
Arthur: No. Who's first.
Mike: What unit??
Arthur: What's second.
Mike: I don't know.
Arthur: He's third.
Mike: There I go, back on third again! Would you just stay on the third unit and don't go off it.
Arthur: Alright, what do you want to know?
Mike: Now who's third?
Arthur: Why do you insist on putting Who third?
Mike: What am I putting third?
Arthur: No. What is on second.
Mike: You don't want who second?
Arthur: Who is first.
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: Look, you gotta fourth?
Arthur: Sure.
Mike: The fourth's name?
Arthur: Why.
Mike: I just thought I'd ask ya.
Arthur: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Mike: Then tell me who's fourth.
Arthur: Who's playing first.
Mike: I'm not...stay out of the first unit!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in unit four?
Arthur: No, What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first!
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: The fourth unit's name?
Arthur: Why.
Mike: Because!
Arthur: Oh, he's fifth.
Mike: Look, You gotta medical unit on this team?
Arthur: Sure.
Mike: The unit's name?
Arthur: Tomorrow.
Mike: You don't want to tell me today?
Arthur: I'm telling you now.
Mike: Then go ahead.
Arthur: Tomorrow!
Mike: What time?
Arthur: What time what?
Mike: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the medical unit?
Arthur: Now listen. Who is not the medical unit.
Mike: I'll break you're arm if you say who's first!!! I want to know what's the medical unit's name?
Arthur: What's second.
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: Gotta a doctor?
Arthur: Certainly.
Mike: The doc's name?
Arthur: Today.
Mike: Today, and tomorrow are medical units.
Arthur: Now you've got it.
Mike: All we got is a couple of days on the team. You know I'm an EMT too.
Arthur: So they tell me.
Mike: I go to the ER room and get a heart. I throw it to tomorrow. He makes some test on the heart and hands it to today. He makes sure it's working. He than gives to me and suddenly the alarm rings! I run out and who's ready and waiting for the assignment first?
Arthur: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Mike: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
Arthur: That's all you have to do.
Mike: Is to talk to the first unit?
Arthur: Yes!
Mike: Now who goes first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Look, if there's an assignment and were good to go, who goes first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Who?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Naturally?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: So I let Naturally go first??
Arthur: No you let Who go first!
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's different.
Mike: That's what I said.
Arthur: you're not saying it...
Mike: I let Naturally go first.
Arthur: you let Who go first.
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: That's what I said!
Arthur: You ask me.
Mike: I let who go first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Now you ask me.
Arthur: You let Who go first?
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! Alright, I let Who go first and then What and then I Don't Know. Tomorrow and Today have the rear, and I don't give a darn!
Arthur: What did you say?
Mike: I said I don't give a darn!
Arthur: Oh, that's our back up unit.
Mike That's it!! There ALL OUT!!! OUT OUT OUT!!!!!
Arthur: Alright sheesh, don't get discouraged.
Mike: OUT!!!
(This part of the episode will be written in script form to prevent confusion)
Mike: Look Arthur, if you're the manager of these guys, you must know all of them.
Arthur: I certainly do.
Mike: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's on the team.
Arthur: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give members now-a-days very peculiar names.
Mike: You mean funny names?
Arthur: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Mike: His brother Daffy
Arthur: Daffy Dean...
Mike: And their French cousin.
Arthur: French?
Mike: Goofe'
Arthur: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's first, What's second, I Don't Know is third...
Mike: That's what I want to find out.
Arthur: I say Who's first, What's second, I Don't Know's third.
Mike: Are you the manager?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: You gonna be the coaching them too?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: And you don't know the fellows' names.
Arthur: Well I should.
Mike: Well then who's first?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: I mean the fellow's name.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The first guy.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The first baseman.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy playing...
Arthur: Who is on first!
Mike: What are you askin' me for!?
Arthur: That's the man's name!
Mike: That's who's name?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: Well go ahead and tell me.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: That's who?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: Look, you gotta first unit right?
Arthur: Certainly.
Mike: Who's first?
Arthur: That's right.
Mike: When you pay off the first unit every month, who gets the money?
Arthur: Every dollar of it.
Mike: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name of the first unit.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy that gets...
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: Who gets the money...
Arthur: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Mike: Who's wife?
Arthur: Yes. What's wrong with that?
Mike: I wanna know is when you sign up the first unit, how does he sign his name?
Arthur: Who.
Mike: The guy.
Arthur: Who.
Mike: How does he sign...
Arthur: That's how he signs it.
Mike: Who?
Arthur: Yes.
Mike: All I'm trying to find out is what's the first guys name.
Arthur: No. What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first.
Mike: One unit at a time!
Arthur: Well, don't change the units around.
Mike: I'm not changing nobody!
Arthur: Take it easy, buddy.
Mike: I'm only asking you, who's the first guy?
Arthur: That's right.
Mike: OK.
Arthur: Alright.
Mike: What's the first guy's name?
Arthur: No. What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first.
Mike: I don't know.
Arthur: He's third, we're not talking about him.
Mike: Now how did I get to the third unit?
Arthur: Why you mentioned his name.
Mike: If I mentioned the third unit's name, who did I say is third?
Arthur: No. Who's first.
Mike: What unit??
Arthur: What's second.
Mike: I don't know.
Arthur: He's third.
Mike: There I go, back on third again! Would you just stay on the third unit and don't go off it.
Arthur: Alright, what do you want to know?
Mike: Now who's third?
Arthur: Why do you insist on putting Who third?
Mike: What am I putting third?
Arthur: No. What is on second.
Mike: You don't want who second?
Arthur: Who is first.
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: Look, you gotta fourth?
Arthur: Sure.
Mike: The fourth's name?
Arthur: Why.
Mike: I just thought I'd ask ya.
Arthur: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Mike: Then tell me who's fourth.
Arthur: Who's playing first.
Mike: I'm not...stay out of the first unit!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in unit four?
Arthur: No, What is second.
Mike: I'm not asking you who's second.
Arthur: Who's first!
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: The fourth unit's name?
Arthur: Why.
Mike: Because!
Arthur: Oh, he's fifth.
Mike: Look, You gotta medical unit on this team?
Arthur: Sure.
Mike: The unit's name?
Arthur: Tomorrow.
Mike: You don't want to tell me today?
Arthur: I'm telling you now.
Mike: Then go ahead.
Arthur: Tomorrow!
Mike: What time?
Arthur: What time what?
Mike: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the medical unit?
Arthur: Now listen. Who is not the medical unit.
Mike: I'll break you're arm if you say who's first!!! I want to know what's the medical unit's name?
Arthur: What's second.
Mike: I don't know.
Together: Third unit!
Mike: Gotta a doctor?
Arthur: Certainly.
Mike: The doc's name?
Arthur: Today.
Mike: Today, and tomorrow are medical units.
Arthur: Now you've got it.
Mike: All we got is a couple of days on the team. You know I'm an EMT too.
Arthur: So they tell me.
Mike: I go to the ER room and get a heart. I throw it to tomorrow. He makes some test on the heart and hands it to today. He makes sure it's working. He than gives to me and suddenly the alarm rings! I run out and who's ready and waiting for the assignment first?
Arthur: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Mike: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
Arthur: That's all you have to do.
Mike: Is to talk to the first unit?
Arthur: Yes!
Mike: Now who goes first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Look, if there's an assignment and were good to go, who goes first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Who?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Naturally?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: So I let Naturally go first??
Arthur: No you let Who go first!
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's different.
Mike: That's what I said.
Arthur: you're not saying it...
Mike: I let Naturally go first.
Arthur: you let Who go first.
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: That's what I said!
Arthur: You ask me.
Mike: I let who go first?
Arthur: Naturally.
Mike: Now you ask me.
Arthur: You let Who go first?
Mike: Naturally.
Arthur: That's it.
Mike: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! Alright, I let Who go first and then What and then I Don't Know. Tomorrow and Today have the rear, and I don't give a darn!
Arthur: What did you say?
Mike: I said I don't give a darn!
Arthur: Oh, that's our back up unit.
Mike That's it!! There ALL OUT!!! OUT OUT OUT!!!!!
Arthur: Alright sheesh, don't get discouraged.
Mike: OUT!!!
