Chapter 6
There was something very unreal about what Brennan He felt safe yet frightened and this kid there was something very unreal about him yet he could touch him.
"Ok, dude what's bothering you?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Just like an adult to ignore you and call you ignorant." The kid growled. "Seems to me all the time you spend on your own as a kid you would have gotten a better interpretation of youth."
"How do you know ..."
"Maybe I'm not as ignorant as you think."
"OK you want to know what's bothering me I will tell you. Before I found my self here I remember falling 3 stories. I remember the pain as I hit something. But it's just a memory I don't really recall feeling pain, just knowing that for that moment in time here was some. WOW, that made no sense at all?"
"That's ok I think I understand."
"Anyway either I am dead and this is heaven"
"Or?"
Or if I am not dead; then I am probably really broken up bad. I remember looking down off the side of the building only moments before being hit; there was nothing but cars and concrete below me."
"So if that's true than at least your alive. What's the next move?"
"I am not so sure I even want to know." Bren whispered. "Kid what was the last thing your remember before you came here?"
"The names BJ. And you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
"Try me."
"I hanging with some of the guys we were talking about our destinies, and how easily someone else making the wrong choice can sway it."
"That's a little complicated for someone your age isn't it?"
"Is it?" BJ growled, "You seem to want to believe your dead but lets say you're not dead. Lets say you're in uh, limbo."
"Limbo?"
" Yea, limbo and you have a choice to make. The choice to return to your body and live through whatever suffering it may be going through. It could be anything from paralysis to some kind of retardation. Or it could be nothing more than a lot of discomfort or give up right now and take your place in heaven, or what ever you want to call it."
"You spend all you time thinking about this stuff?" Brennon grimaced. "You need a life?"
"This coming from a guy who has ran around with poetry book in his hand since he could read. "
"How would you know that?"
The kid stuck his hand in to Brens over coat and pulled out the paperback book that was in it. "Call it a hunch." He unfolded the corner of the page that had been bent to save a place and began to read
Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me
The carriage held but just Ourselves
And Immortality."
"Emily Dickinson. I guess your not the only one who thinks about it" He folded the page and handed the book back to the dark haired man. "So what's your answer?"
"Answer to what?"
"Which would you chose? Do you except death or do you take your chance and return to the world of the living?"
This has to be a joke Brennan thought a hint of a smile crossed his face as he realized the boy was still waiting for an answer again to fade as he contemplated the boys words. "I don't know, you certainly don't paint a pretty picture of my life if I do survive. Truth is I don't think I could handle living if it meant I was to spend it paralyzed. Makes dieing sound easy."
You're into poetry you heard of Robert Frost?
"Yea what about him."
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference
"Life is full of choices Dude. My guess is that you've never been one to take the road more traveled"
"Who are you?"
"Maybe I am you."
The man stared back at the youth and tried desperately to remember. He did look a bit like him when he was younger, but something was different.
Kid laughed at Brennan as his face squished up in thought. "No?... How about Jiminy Cricket! I like that one! I am your conscience! I am the guy with the options. Option 1, Dieing, Dieing is easy you give up and life will go on with out you. But your presence in it has already had an effect on the world
"The world doesn't know I exist."
"Your are going to stand here and tell me you have no friend who will notice your loss. He paused a moment making quite certain he had the older mans attention. "...A friend who might even blame themselves for your loss.
He saw the vale of realization as it washed over Brennan's face. The only person he was kidding was himself. " I would be willing to bet you could name at least 4people who would notice. How but the significant other you saying there was no Dude-ette that will have to build a life without you and eventually with someone else?"
"No, there isn't!" Bren injected quickly
"Me thinks thou doest protest to much.- Shakespeare." BJ smiled and kept right on going. "I'm thinking there is someone whom you already like...one of the fantastic four?"
"Even if that were true, what good would it do me now? If this whole thing isn't some kind of freeky nightmare and if I am alive, I'm more than likely crippled if not a vegetable. She couldn't... I can't...
"Let's try this scenario, say for a moment, I was not yet born and you were to be my father. If you die today I would not be born.
"And if I am paralyzed your still out of luck."
"Not necessarily there are Men fathering children who never thought it possible including those who have suffered paralysis. But that was not the point.
"So get to the point."
"You are an intricate part of someone else's past, present and future. Every choice you make is connected to someone else, just as there are others whose choices are connected to you. Which leads to your second choice; your second choice...Life. Life was never meant to be easy. We would never learn anything if it were. When you get right down to it, if it had not been for someone else's choices your destiny might have been very different."
"You can say that again."
Brennan saw a familiar smirk cross the boys face " OK.... When you get right down to it, if it ha...."
"It's an expression." Brennan laughed jokingly clutching the kid in a headlock.
"Hey" the kid laughed, as he broke free from Brennan's playful headlock.
"You do realize Jiminy cricket gets squashed in the book."
"NO! No wonder kids prefer the movie. I was always partial to the wizard of Oz myself. It doesn't matter... It's not like I am the one who has the choice.
Suddenly the playfulness seemed to melt away. "There is still one problem Scarecrow, if I am not dead and this is all a dream or what ever. How do I get home? Click my heels three times?"
There was something very unreal about what Brennan He felt safe yet frightened and this kid there was something very unreal about him yet he could touch him.
"Ok, dude what's bothering you?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Just like an adult to ignore you and call you ignorant." The kid growled. "Seems to me all the time you spend on your own as a kid you would have gotten a better interpretation of youth."
"How do you know ..."
"Maybe I'm not as ignorant as you think."
"OK you want to know what's bothering me I will tell you. Before I found my self here I remember falling 3 stories. I remember the pain as I hit something. But it's just a memory I don't really recall feeling pain, just knowing that for that moment in time here was some. WOW, that made no sense at all?"
"That's ok I think I understand."
"Anyway either I am dead and this is heaven"
"Or?"
Or if I am not dead; then I am probably really broken up bad. I remember looking down off the side of the building only moments before being hit; there was nothing but cars and concrete below me."
"So if that's true than at least your alive. What's the next move?"
"I am not so sure I even want to know." Bren whispered. "Kid what was the last thing your remember before you came here?"
"The names BJ. And you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
"Try me."
"I hanging with some of the guys we were talking about our destinies, and how easily someone else making the wrong choice can sway it."
"That's a little complicated for someone your age isn't it?"
"Is it?" BJ growled, "You seem to want to believe your dead but lets say you're not dead. Lets say you're in uh, limbo."
"Limbo?"
" Yea, limbo and you have a choice to make. The choice to return to your body and live through whatever suffering it may be going through. It could be anything from paralysis to some kind of retardation. Or it could be nothing more than a lot of discomfort or give up right now and take your place in heaven, or what ever you want to call it."
"You spend all you time thinking about this stuff?" Brennon grimaced. "You need a life?"
"This coming from a guy who has ran around with poetry book in his hand since he could read. "
"How would you know that?"
The kid stuck his hand in to Brens over coat and pulled out the paperback book that was in it. "Call it a hunch." He unfolded the corner of the page that had been bent to save a place and began to read
Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me
The carriage held but just Ourselves
And Immortality."
"Emily Dickinson. I guess your not the only one who thinks about it" He folded the page and handed the book back to the dark haired man. "So what's your answer?"
"Answer to what?"
"Which would you chose? Do you except death or do you take your chance and return to the world of the living?"
This has to be a joke Brennan thought a hint of a smile crossed his face as he realized the boy was still waiting for an answer again to fade as he contemplated the boys words. "I don't know, you certainly don't paint a pretty picture of my life if I do survive. Truth is I don't think I could handle living if it meant I was to spend it paralyzed. Makes dieing sound easy."
You're into poetry you heard of Robert Frost?
"Yea what about him."
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference
"Life is full of choices Dude. My guess is that you've never been one to take the road more traveled"
"Who are you?"
"Maybe I am you."
The man stared back at the youth and tried desperately to remember. He did look a bit like him when he was younger, but something was different.
Kid laughed at Brennan as his face squished up in thought. "No?... How about Jiminy Cricket! I like that one! I am your conscience! I am the guy with the options. Option 1, Dieing, Dieing is easy you give up and life will go on with out you. But your presence in it has already had an effect on the world
"The world doesn't know I exist."
"Your are going to stand here and tell me you have no friend who will notice your loss. He paused a moment making quite certain he had the older mans attention. "...A friend who might even blame themselves for your loss.
He saw the vale of realization as it washed over Brennan's face. The only person he was kidding was himself. " I would be willing to bet you could name at least 4people who would notice. How but the significant other you saying there was no Dude-ette that will have to build a life without you and eventually with someone else?"
"No, there isn't!" Bren injected quickly
"Me thinks thou doest protest to much.- Shakespeare." BJ smiled and kept right on going. "I'm thinking there is someone whom you already like...one of the fantastic four?"
"Even if that were true, what good would it do me now? If this whole thing isn't some kind of freeky nightmare and if I am alive, I'm more than likely crippled if not a vegetable. She couldn't... I can't...
"Let's try this scenario, say for a moment, I was not yet born and you were to be my father. If you die today I would not be born.
"And if I am paralyzed your still out of luck."
"Not necessarily there are Men fathering children who never thought it possible including those who have suffered paralysis. But that was not the point.
"So get to the point."
"You are an intricate part of someone else's past, present and future. Every choice you make is connected to someone else, just as there are others whose choices are connected to you. Which leads to your second choice; your second choice...Life. Life was never meant to be easy. We would never learn anything if it were. When you get right down to it, if it had not been for someone else's choices your destiny might have been very different."
"You can say that again."
Brennan saw a familiar smirk cross the boys face " OK.... When you get right down to it, if it ha...."
"It's an expression." Brennan laughed jokingly clutching the kid in a headlock.
"Hey" the kid laughed, as he broke free from Brennan's playful headlock.
"You do realize Jiminy cricket gets squashed in the book."
"NO! No wonder kids prefer the movie. I was always partial to the wizard of Oz myself. It doesn't matter... It's not like I am the one who has the choice.
Suddenly the playfulness seemed to melt away. "There is still one problem Scarecrow, if I am not dead and this is all a dream or what ever. How do I get home? Click my heels three times?"
