FOOLS FOR LIFE:

CHAPTER 25: The doctor is in

"HE GOT ME CURSED!!?"

"Well...." Tara hesitated.

"We think it's not his fault," Willow added as they all sat on the couch. "Well...not entirely..."

Buffy shook her head. "He makes a wish that turns me into some chain- smoking, black nailed Spike-Buffy cocktail...."

"Spuffy...." Willow interrupted, then bit her lip.

"What the soddin'...?" Buffy asked, then winced. "I...didn't mean to say 'soddin'...."

"It's okay." Tara tried.

"No it's not! I don't talk that way. I sound like Spike! Or Giles when he was eating that candy! And what was that word you used?"

"Nothing, it's what I started calling it...uh you....you know, kinda works. Buffy-Spike..." Buffy looked at her with some disbelief. " 'Spuffy'? You're making up cute little names for me now?? 'Spuffy'??"

Willow shook her head. "No, no..I mean, well..yeah, sorta.....uh, never mind." She added softly, "It was better than 'Bike'."

"ANYWAY, he does that, and it's not his fault?"

"Well," Tara interceded, "we sort of figured out what happened, with Anya's help. Looks like Halfrek took advantage of him being drunk to get him to make sort of a wish."

Buffy remembered seeing her leave Spike's crypt and grinded her teeth.

"And it didn't quite work out. According to Anya, this was a pretty amateuristic attempt. Apparently drunk wishes are messy wishes, which is what we have to talk about too."

"How did Anya know? Did Halfrek come brag about it to her?" She could see it too. That bitch! Tara and Willow exchanged looks.

"Uhm, no, it appears like Anya.....sort of sensed it all...turns out she....sorta picked up where she left off. Job-wise...."

Buffy thought for a second before that clicked. "She's a ...." Willow and Tara nodded.

"Bloody he-...I mean." She frowned again and calmly asked, "Since when?"

"Well," Willow said, "as Anya would say: 'when do you think?'" Buffy looked at Willow and nodded. "When Xander left her standing at the altar. Literally. What a soddi-..I mean, oh man. Does he know?"

"He knows. He's out now, getting some more supplies from the Magic Shop in case we need them. He took it....well enough I suppose." Tara said.

"And Spike and Anya? They were both here, right?"

"Out trying to find Halfrek. We think there's a chance she's hiding out at....Rack's."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Isn't that the guy who....?"

Willow nodded quickly. "Yeah, if she's there, but it made sense. They're going to try to get her to lift the spell."

"Spike to the rescue." Buffy muttered sarcastically trying to sound American and failing miserably.

"Buffy, he really didn't want this. He brought you here, he was genuinely upset about it."

Buffy fell back into the couch and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I believe you. He never means to mess up things. Like he didn't mean it with the sexbot, or with almost feeding me to Drusila, or with the demon eggs, or to have sex with Anya..." She bit her lip as soon as those last words had come out.

Tara looked at Willow and lightly cleared her throat. "Stop that!" Buffy said, her eyes still closed.

"What? We didn't say anything."

"No but I could hear you thinking it! The 'j' word!"

** **

"So this demon tricked you into cursing her??" Vraak said.

"Yeah looks like." Spike sighed as he tossed a cigarette on the ground and killed it with his heel.

"Foul deed!" the demon grunted.

"If someone had made me do that to my soul-other..." He stopped. "Ahem. Which reminds me....I hope I can ask you to..keep our meeting here...amongst us and...well, should you see me and my..."

Spike interrupted him with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "Ah mate, don't worry about that. Goes without saying. Us blokes gotta stick together, right?"

"...thank you." the demon said, appreciative.

"Oh and before I forget, about your ah..problem" he leaned in ".go see this guy I know in the harbor. Dock 16, fella named Kraycek. He deals in..exotics. He's got these things, made from these big meat-eating plant buggers...should help you out fine. No magic spells or charms needed. Works on Fyerals, should work for you. Tell him I sent you, and he should set you up just fine. I used to hold some 'merchandise' for him every now and then."

Vraak listened intently. "Really? You believe that would...I mean....we Shybarii are infinitely superior to those primitive Fyerals of course."

"Course, course..." Spike nodded. "Still, couldn't hurt to try, eh?"

Vraak nodded, musing it over.

Suddenly, the door at the corner of the room started to open. 'Bout bloody time' Spike thought. He knew kicking down doors was a bad idea in a place like this. You might find yourself falling into an cliff or something, or into a hell pit. Wizards were tricky and he knew he couldn't screw this up. Too important, no second chances.

But it had been hard to wait even though it only had been 20 minutes or so. It had felt more like a day or two. He was actually glad the demon had been there to chat with. Turned out to be a decent bloke too. And nice that they had managed to not start a fight that would have torn up the room and probably have the wizard turn them in to cockroaches or something. The door stayed open for a second or two and then a girl and a boy walked out. Couldn't be older than 17. Both were crackling with energy and their eyes were black as they walked to the door. Kind of uneasy but with big grins on their faces.

Then Rack himself walked out. His face looked young and old at the same time with a large scar under his right eye, his hair and clothes like a modern hippie's and unkempt. His eyes were off in a strange way and though he clearly didn't care for appearances, his power was palpable, emanating from him in waves and sparks caressed his hands.

Everyone in the room looked up at the sight of him. Some started begging to be next, others demanding it. Spike got up and stepped in front of Rack.

Before he could speak Rack frowned. "A vampire....don't get many of those."

"Yeah, well, it's a bit of an emergency mate, you see....."

"NO! The business man next to Anya yelled. "*I* was next! ME! I have no time! No time, don't you see??"

A demon with tentacles behind his ears snarled at him, and made him sit down again, hugging his briefcase. Then it moved on Spike. "No *I* was next! And no lowly vampire will deny me!"

Spike felt his anger flare. "Lowly.?!? Look mate if you want to.." But before he could finish a large clawed hand grabbed the demon in front of him by the head. In fact in basically enveloped it's head from above. Then it lifted him up by it and....squeezed.

The demon's head popped like a grape and you could hear a gasp through the room as some people got splatters on them. Anya saw one hit her pants and frowned. She started rubbing it, while muttering:. "Great, never get that out......"

The hand opened and the remains dropped on the floor.

"Now then," Vraak said as he wiped his hand clean and looked around the room. "I believe we should all agree my esteemed vampire friend was next."

No one said anything. Spike grinned slightly and gave the demon a light nod. Vraak returned it and looked to Rack

"Isn't that correct?"

Rack looked back at Vraak with little interest or emotion. The skull crushing hadn't impressed him much, apparently. He started to speak, but then he noticed Anya....and his eyes widened a little.

"Another one." He said and smiled like a wolf that just saw a little sheep. "Sweet..."

Anya looked around her, not sure if it was her he was referring to. She silently mouthed 'sweet?'.

Rack turned to Spike. "You two came together, huh?" He still smiled. "Yeah sure, you're next. Come in."

** **

TBC!

R&R me...can't get enough