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The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... (aka "Whatever Shit Enters The Writer's Head) by DaRk DaY fOr AnImE
Part Forty - The Back (And you thought you'd never see the back of this fic) Fic Rating: PG-13
Usual disclaimer about all the series I've been ripping off with this fic. You know what they are. Or at least you should. If you don't, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! Whatever. If I'm sued for this, they won't be getting much out of me, cos I don't have much to my name. Or stuff like that.
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^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
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Scene: An office. Usagi is sitting at the desk, dressed in a business suit, reading out aloud a book entitled "Chinese for Advertising Women". There is a knock and she pauses, looking at the door.
Usagi: Come in.
Chibiusa opens the window, steps in and sits down in the chair on the opposite side of the desk as Usagi puts the book down, waiting for the door to open. She then realises that Chibiusa is there and turns to her.
Usagi: Ah. There you are, Usa.
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. I'd like to have a word with you, Usa.
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. Now I want to talk about your advertising
campaign for Tokyopop Comics. Now, I've had the Editor
in Chief over this morning and he's unhappy. Very
unhappy. In fact he shot himself.
Chibiusa: Badly?
Usagi: No, extremely well, actually.
Usagi reaches down and lifts up Stu Levy's leg from behind the desk, then holds up a sign that says joke, then puts both back down.
Usagi: Well, before he went, he left a note with the company
secretary....
Usagi opens up a large cupboard next to the desk and grabs the note from the body of the company secretary as he falls to the floor.
Usagi: ....The upshot of which was how disappointed he was with
your work, and why you had changed the name of his
product from Tokyopop Comics to Tokyopop Leprosy. Why
Usa?
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. Why did you do it?
Chibiusa: Errr.... it was a joke.
Usagi holds up the joke sign again.
Usagi: A joke?
Chibiusa: Err, no. A sales campaign.
Usagi: I see.
Usagi puts down the sign and stands, stepping over to the wall where there in a rather sick looking sales chart, with the line steadily heading downwards.
Usagi: Well, lets look at the sales chart, shall we?
She points to the top of the line.
Usagi: When you took over this account, Usa, Tokyopop
Comics was market leader. This was when you started
your first campaign, "Tokyopop Comics brings new
meaning to the word vomit".
Usagi points to the next downward turn of the line.
Usagi: Here is where you made your introductory offer of a free
dead pikachu with every issue. And this followed your
second campaign in which you said "The exciting comic
that brings you new cholera, mange, crabs, HIV, scabies,
syphilis, the clap and athletes head, from the House of
Tokyopop.
Chibisa: It was a soft sell, ma'am.
Usagi sighs and sits back down.
Usagi: Why, Usa?
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup! Well?
Chibiusa: Well, people know the name.
Usagi: They certainly do know the name, they burnt their
offices down this morning. The owner is hiding in my
bathroom.
There is a gunshot.
Usagi: The owner WAS hiding is my bathroom.
Chibiusa: You're not going to fire me, are you?
Usagi: Fire you!?!? Three men dead, the office burnt to the
ground, the account lost and our firm completely
bankrupt! What can you possibly say? What excuse can
you make for all of this?
Chibiusa: Sorry, Mama.
Usagi: Oh, well, that's alright then.
Usagi gets up and walks over to a wall, where she pulls down a small projector screen.
Usagi; Oh, and by the way.... Your film's won a prize.
On the Screen: The middle of a desert, somewhere on the face of the planet.
Are you still worried where the desert might be? Try somewhere within the head of the writer. It is called the right hemisphere. Well, it IS in the Lack of Talent Continent.
Takino Tomo is standing on a dune, next to a pair of trousers (which have little to do with anything that follows, so forget about them). Tomo seems satisfied that she has beaten Sakaki in tunneling her way to America.
Tomo: Ah well, I better lie down and have a nap before I start
my way back....
She spots something approaching in the distance.
Tomo: I wonder what this can be....
Meanwhile, back at the wall in Tokyo, Honda Tohru is standing around, waiting.
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Sena Robin, craft user extraordinaire and resident introvert, still wearing the gothic black dress that you KNOW isn't likely to hide her in a crowd as she often wants, approaches Tohru.
Robin: I'm here to replace you.
Tohru: Really? I was just musing about all the different anime
characters this wall has seen over the years.
Robin: ....
Tohru: I mean, Vash the Stampede was here just yesterday, and he
didn't destroy a thing. Such a nice man, that Vash.
Robin: ....
Tohru: It is a pity I'm not rostered on until next week. I
would really like to commune with this wall a bit more.
It has so much to say.
Robin: ....
Tohru: You know, you remind me of someone.
Robin: ....
Tohru: You wouldn't know Hana-chan, by any chance?
Robin: I think I hunted her down the other day.
Tohru: Really? I wondered why she didn't call. Anyway, been
nice meeting you. I've gotta go pick up some petfood.
Robin: ....
Tohru happily wanders away, in her own world, as Robin watches her go. Robin then turns and stares at the wall.
Robin: Is this what life has reduced me to?
Wall: ....
Robin: ....
Wall: ....
Robin: ....
Wall: ....
Robin: Shutup, you!
Wall: -_-;;
Meanwhile, back in the desert, Tomo is lying on the ground, staring at the sky, before realising that she is back on.
Tomo: Oh, you're back, are you?
She jumps up and brushes the sand from her PE gear.
Tomo: Well, its about time, too. I mean, how long are you
going to keep me waiting for these people on the horizon
to approach me?
Meanwhile, back at the wall in To....
Tomo: Wha?!?! You're just going to cut away like that? What
a crock! I want my scene, dammit!
Well, you seemed more interested in complaining, so we thought....
Tomo: I don't care what you thought! I'm Takino Tomo, world-
reknowned beauty and idol. HUZZAH!
Tomo leaps into the air, spinning around and lights glitter around her.
Tomo: One day, I will rule the world.
Yeah, right.
Tomo lands on the ground and grabs the author by the collar.... Hey, waitaminute.... Why am I writing this against myself?
Tomo: You don't have a choice. BWA HA HA HA HAAAAA!
Tomo shakes the author.
Tomo: Now give me my scene! The one I've been waiting for
since the end of the last chapter.
Oh alright.... Tomo lets go and stares out across the dune as two figures on the back of camels approach her.
Yume: I'm really really sorry.... I didn't mean for our series
to run twelve episodes with absolutely nothing happening.
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm so sorry about the claw, too. I'll try and comb it
down with hair gel tomorrow.
Angela: ....
Yume: And I'm so sorry my magic sucks so much. Oh Kami-sama,
all this angst is making me feel all giddy....
Angela: ....
Yume: And I'm so sorry Angela doesn't say much. They were
paying her seiyuu by the word.
Angela: ....
Yume: Ack! I think my brain has sprung a leak.
Angela: There is someone....
Yume: Eh?
Angela: There.
Angela points to Tomo, who is now sitting on the dune, her arms and legs crossed, apparently pissed off that her scene amounts to roughly no lines.
Yume: I wonder if she is as lost in this desert as we are....
Angela: ....
Yume: Should we have her tag along with us?
Angela: Hai. Anything would be better than listening to your
constant apologising.
Yume: That's a lie! I don't keep apologising.
Angela: Now now, temper temper.
Yume: Sorry.
Angela: ....
Yume: ....
Angela: ....
Yume: You tricked me.
Angela shrugs and guides her camel over to Tomo. Tomo looks up at her with a self-absorbed, not entirely with-it expression.
Angela: ....
Tomo: ....
Angela: Get on.
Tomo: ....
Angela: ....
Tomo jumps to her feet, pointing at Angela.
Tomo: BLOND HAIR!
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm so sorry her hair is blond.
Tomo: Are you offering me a ride?
Yume: Ah.... hai. I'm sorry that we didn't make it clear.
Yume guides her camel next to Angela's.
Tomo: Whoooo.... You have camels. I didn't know they were so
big.
Angela: Are you going to hop on?
Tomo: I know you from somewhere....
Tomo thinks. As I said before, this takes a while, so we'll cut back to the wall in Tokyo. Robin is nowhere to be seen.
Wall: ....
Tokyo: ....
Wall: ....
Tokyo: ....
Wall: So, as I was saying, people seem to have this problem
with leaving me alone. I mean, not a moment seems to go
by, these days, without someone trying to camp out next
to me. In those early days, it was all those bloody
Sailor Senshi. Now almost anyone seems to hang out here.
Tokyo: I see, I see. Well, that would be a problem. One I
understand well. I mean, I've had millions of the
buggers crawling over me for years.
Wall: Sounds awful. Have you tried any lotions, or anything.
Tokyo: Well, I was talking to San Francisco the other day, and
they said that I should try an earthquake, followed by a
wholesale collapse into the ocean. It sounds promising,
but there is a problem....
Wall: What?
Tokyo: I'll drown.
Wall: Well, yes, granted, that would be a problem.
Part of Tokyo explodes in a ball of flame.
Tokyo: OW!
Wall: What was that?
Tokyo: The bastards are at it again. I tell you, I get trashed
more than any other city in the world. It just isn't
fair!
Wall: Shhh.... There is someone coming.
Both the wall and Tokyo fall silent as a young schoolgirl with bits of weaponry sticking out of her approaches the wall.
Wall: Aww shit, not HER again.
Chise stops by the wall, staring at it.
Chise: It is a good thing I'm so stupid, otherwise I might start
mourning the deaths of all those people I just killed.
She looks around.
Chise: Wait a minute.... Wasn't Robin supposed to be here? It
was her shift....
She looks back at the wall.
Chise: So, where has she gone?
Wall: ....
Chise: ....
Wall: ....
Chise: ....
Wall: ....
Chise points a railgun at the wall.
Chise: I said "where has she gone"?
Wall: Don't ask me. I'm a wall. I can't talk, remember?
Chise lowers the gun and giggles.
Chise: Oh, sorry about that. I'm so stupid, I keep forgetting
the basics.
Wall: Well, as long as you remember not to blast me into
oblivion. I'm an important part of this fic.
Chise: Yeah, well....
Chise turns around as her weapons disappear, leaving a normal schoolgirl with half her uniform trashed. She sits down and leans against the wall.
Chise: I wonder where Robin has got to....
Meanwhile, back in the desert....
Tomo: I know.... You're Sena Robin, aren't you!
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm sorry she isn't saying anything.
Tomo: She doesn't say much as Robin either. A real party
animal!
Angela: ....
Yume: I think you've upset her.
Yume bows to Angela.
Yume: I apologise for her behaviour.
Tomo: What are you apologising for? She's the one who isn't
saying anything.
Tomo jumps onto Angela's camel and pokes a finger into her forehead.
Tomo: Your seiyuu is chickenshit! Nya nya nya.
Angela: Silence.
There is a glow around Tomo, and a cheesily CG animated cross with wings passes through her. Tomo opens her mouth and finds she doesn't have a voice anymore.
Tomo: ....
Yume: Angela! That was rude! Apologise to her for that and
give her back her voice!
Angela: I'm sure you can do all of my apologising for me.
Yume: That's not fair! I don't keep apologising.
Angela: Yes you do.
Yume: Oh.... I do, don't I? Sorry.
Tomo's face screws up in anger and she grabs Angela's hair, pulling it clean off. Underneath there is brown hair, tied up in crude, stiff, ribboned pigtails. Tomo gestures in triumph.
Yume: Angela-san.... You ARE Robin, after all.
Robin: Bugger....
Robin grabs the blond wig back and reattaches it to her head, becoming Angela again.
Meanwhile, in Tokyo....
Chise: She's probably off somewhere, having a more interesting
scene than this one....
Chise looks down at the ground.
Chise: This isn't fair. The world is in danger if I exist, and
they expect me to turn up once a week to look after this
wall.... I could wipe out all life, and nobody seems to
care. I wish I could just disappear....
Boogiepop: Did someone call me?
Chise looks up and sees another schoolgirl in a large hat and elaborate cloak with lots of straps and buckles.
Chise: Oh bugger.... This fic is about to go non-linear....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: I so need another job. This one just doesn't pay enough.
Chise: You think you have problems.
Boogiepop sniffs and poses dramatically.
Boogiepop: You are a danger to this world. I can't have you
wandering Earth, destroying things as you please.
Chise: I already said that, in a roundabout way. Please come up
with better lines.
Boogiepop: Look, do you want to do this?
Chise: Sorry, the hat wouldn't fit.
Boogiepop: Hmph! I have only one thing to say to you....
Chise: What?
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: Does the hat and cloak make me look fat?
END OF PART 40 TO BE CONTINUED....
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Will Chise be "taken away" by Boogiepop? Does this mean the entire fic will now be shaded in a sepia tone, and does the very thought give you the shits? Is Angela really Robin is disguise? Will Ami and Makoto ever reappear, as they are supposed to be the main characters. Will Yume ever stop apologising? Did Chise give her the apologising bug in the first place? Will Tomo ever stop being an annoying prat? Has the writer any plan for this fic whatsoever? The answers to, just perhaps, maybe, if you absolutely must put money on it, some of these questions in the next chapter of this squishy, chewy and slightly tangy fanfic called "The Fanfic Formerly Known As....", due sometime between now and the end of the world. Please don't leave the lights on when Chise makes things go kaboom! The electricity bill will be enormous.
DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) darkdayforanime@hotmail.com
SNARF 1.0 - Thursday 24th July 2003
The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... (aka "Whatever Shit Enters The Writer's Head) by DaRk DaY fOr AnImE
Part Forty - The Back (And you thought you'd never see the back of this fic) Fic Rating: PG-13
Usual disclaimer about all the series I've been ripping off with this fic. You know what they are. Or at least you should. If you don't, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! Whatever. If I'm sued for this, they won't be getting much out of me, cos I don't have much to my name. Or stuff like that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: An office. Usagi is sitting at the desk, dressed in a business suit, reading out aloud a book entitled "Chinese for Advertising Women". There is a knock and she pauses, looking at the door.
Usagi: Come in.
Chibiusa opens the window, steps in and sits down in the chair on the opposite side of the desk as Usagi puts the book down, waiting for the door to open. She then realises that Chibiusa is there and turns to her.
Usagi: Ah. There you are, Usa.
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. I'd like to have a word with you, Usa.
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. Now I want to talk about your advertising
campaign for Tokyopop Comics. Now, I've had the Editor
in Chief over this morning and he's unhappy. Very
unhappy. In fact he shot himself.
Chibiusa: Badly?
Usagi: No, extremely well, actually.
Usagi reaches down and lifts up Stu Levy's leg from behind the desk, then holds up a sign that says joke, then puts both back down.
Usagi: Well, before he went, he left a note with the company
secretary....
Usagi opens up a large cupboard next to the desk and grabs the note from the body of the company secretary as he falls to the floor.
Usagi: ....The upshot of which was how disappointed he was with
your work, and why you had changed the name of his
product from Tokyopop Comics to Tokyopop Leprosy. Why
Usa?
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup. Why did you do it?
Chibiusa: Errr.... it was a joke.
Usagi holds up the joke sign again.
Usagi: A joke?
Chibiusa: Err, no. A sales campaign.
Usagi: I see.
Usagi puts down the sign and stands, stepping over to the wall where there in a rather sick looking sales chart, with the line steadily heading downwards.
Usagi: Well, lets look at the sales chart, shall we?
She points to the top of the line.
Usagi: When you took over this account, Usa, Tokyopop
Comics was market leader. This was when you started
your first campaign, "Tokyopop Comics brings new
meaning to the word vomit".
Usagi points to the next downward turn of the line.
Usagi: Here is where you made your introductory offer of a free
dead pikachu with every issue. And this followed your
second campaign in which you said "The exciting comic
that brings you new cholera, mange, crabs, HIV, scabies,
syphilis, the clap and athletes head, from the House of
Tokyopop.
Chibisa: It was a soft sell, ma'am.
Usagi sighs and sits back down.
Usagi: Why, Usa?
Chibiusa: Chibiusa, ma'am.
Usagi: Shutup! Well?
Chibiusa: Well, people know the name.
Usagi: They certainly do know the name, they burnt their
offices down this morning. The owner is hiding in my
bathroom.
There is a gunshot.
Usagi: The owner WAS hiding is my bathroom.
Chibiusa: You're not going to fire me, are you?
Usagi: Fire you!?!? Three men dead, the office burnt to the
ground, the account lost and our firm completely
bankrupt! What can you possibly say? What excuse can
you make for all of this?
Chibiusa: Sorry, Mama.
Usagi: Oh, well, that's alright then.
Usagi gets up and walks over to a wall, where she pulls down a small projector screen.
Usagi; Oh, and by the way.... Your film's won a prize.
On the Screen: The middle of a desert, somewhere on the face of the planet.
Are you still worried where the desert might be? Try somewhere within the head of the writer. It is called the right hemisphere. Well, it IS in the Lack of Talent Continent.
Takino Tomo is standing on a dune, next to a pair of trousers (which have little to do with anything that follows, so forget about them). Tomo seems satisfied that she has beaten Sakaki in tunneling her way to America.
Tomo: Ah well, I better lie down and have a nap before I start
my way back....
She spots something approaching in the distance.
Tomo: I wonder what this can be....
Meanwhile, back at the wall in Tokyo, Honda Tohru is standing around, waiting.
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Tohru: ....
Wall: ....
Sena Robin, craft user extraordinaire and resident introvert, still wearing the gothic black dress that you KNOW isn't likely to hide her in a crowd as she often wants, approaches Tohru.
Robin: I'm here to replace you.
Tohru: Really? I was just musing about all the different anime
characters this wall has seen over the years.
Robin: ....
Tohru: I mean, Vash the Stampede was here just yesterday, and he
didn't destroy a thing. Such a nice man, that Vash.
Robin: ....
Tohru: It is a pity I'm not rostered on until next week. I
would really like to commune with this wall a bit more.
It has so much to say.
Robin: ....
Tohru: You know, you remind me of someone.
Robin: ....
Tohru: You wouldn't know Hana-chan, by any chance?
Robin: I think I hunted her down the other day.
Tohru: Really? I wondered why she didn't call. Anyway, been
nice meeting you. I've gotta go pick up some petfood.
Robin: ....
Tohru happily wanders away, in her own world, as Robin watches her go. Robin then turns and stares at the wall.
Robin: Is this what life has reduced me to?
Wall: ....
Robin: ....
Wall: ....
Robin: ....
Wall: ....
Robin: Shutup, you!
Wall: -_-;;
Meanwhile, back in the desert, Tomo is lying on the ground, staring at the sky, before realising that she is back on.
Tomo: Oh, you're back, are you?
She jumps up and brushes the sand from her PE gear.
Tomo: Well, its about time, too. I mean, how long are you
going to keep me waiting for these people on the horizon
to approach me?
Meanwhile, back at the wall in To....
Tomo: Wha?!?! You're just going to cut away like that? What
a crock! I want my scene, dammit!
Well, you seemed more interested in complaining, so we thought....
Tomo: I don't care what you thought! I'm Takino Tomo, world-
reknowned beauty and idol. HUZZAH!
Tomo leaps into the air, spinning around and lights glitter around her.
Tomo: One day, I will rule the world.
Yeah, right.
Tomo lands on the ground and grabs the author by the collar.... Hey, waitaminute.... Why am I writing this against myself?
Tomo: You don't have a choice. BWA HA HA HA HAAAAA!
Tomo shakes the author.
Tomo: Now give me my scene! The one I've been waiting for
since the end of the last chapter.
Oh alright.... Tomo lets go and stares out across the dune as two figures on the back of camels approach her.
Yume: I'm really really sorry.... I didn't mean for our series
to run twelve episodes with absolutely nothing happening.
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm so sorry about the claw, too. I'll try and comb it
down with hair gel tomorrow.
Angela: ....
Yume: And I'm so sorry my magic sucks so much. Oh Kami-sama,
all this angst is making me feel all giddy....
Angela: ....
Yume: And I'm so sorry Angela doesn't say much. They were
paying her seiyuu by the word.
Angela: ....
Yume: Ack! I think my brain has sprung a leak.
Angela: There is someone....
Yume: Eh?
Angela: There.
Angela points to Tomo, who is now sitting on the dune, her arms and legs crossed, apparently pissed off that her scene amounts to roughly no lines.
Yume: I wonder if she is as lost in this desert as we are....
Angela: ....
Yume: Should we have her tag along with us?
Angela: Hai. Anything would be better than listening to your
constant apologising.
Yume: That's a lie! I don't keep apologising.
Angela: Now now, temper temper.
Yume: Sorry.
Angela: ....
Yume: ....
Angela: ....
Yume: You tricked me.
Angela shrugs and guides her camel over to Tomo. Tomo looks up at her with a self-absorbed, not entirely with-it expression.
Angela: ....
Tomo: ....
Angela: Get on.
Tomo: ....
Angela: ....
Tomo jumps to her feet, pointing at Angela.
Tomo: BLOND HAIR!
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm so sorry her hair is blond.
Tomo: Are you offering me a ride?
Yume: Ah.... hai. I'm sorry that we didn't make it clear.
Yume guides her camel next to Angela's.
Tomo: Whoooo.... You have camels. I didn't know they were so
big.
Angela: Are you going to hop on?
Tomo: I know you from somewhere....
Tomo thinks. As I said before, this takes a while, so we'll cut back to the wall in Tokyo. Robin is nowhere to be seen.
Wall: ....
Tokyo: ....
Wall: ....
Tokyo: ....
Wall: So, as I was saying, people seem to have this problem
with leaving me alone. I mean, not a moment seems to go
by, these days, without someone trying to camp out next
to me. In those early days, it was all those bloody
Sailor Senshi. Now almost anyone seems to hang out here.
Tokyo: I see, I see. Well, that would be a problem. One I
understand well. I mean, I've had millions of the
buggers crawling over me for years.
Wall: Sounds awful. Have you tried any lotions, or anything.
Tokyo: Well, I was talking to San Francisco the other day, and
they said that I should try an earthquake, followed by a
wholesale collapse into the ocean. It sounds promising,
but there is a problem....
Wall: What?
Tokyo: I'll drown.
Wall: Well, yes, granted, that would be a problem.
Part of Tokyo explodes in a ball of flame.
Tokyo: OW!
Wall: What was that?
Tokyo: The bastards are at it again. I tell you, I get trashed
more than any other city in the world. It just isn't
fair!
Wall: Shhh.... There is someone coming.
Both the wall and Tokyo fall silent as a young schoolgirl with bits of weaponry sticking out of her approaches the wall.
Wall: Aww shit, not HER again.
Chise stops by the wall, staring at it.
Chise: It is a good thing I'm so stupid, otherwise I might start
mourning the deaths of all those people I just killed.
She looks around.
Chise: Wait a minute.... Wasn't Robin supposed to be here? It
was her shift....
She looks back at the wall.
Chise: So, where has she gone?
Wall: ....
Chise: ....
Wall: ....
Chise: ....
Wall: ....
Chise points a railgun at the wall.
Chise: I said "where has she gone"?
Wall: Don't ask me. I'm a wall. I can't talk, remember?
Chise lowers the gun and giggles.
Chise: Oh, sorry about that. I'm so stupid, I keep forgetting
the basics.
Wall: Well, as long as you remember not to blast me into
oblivion. I'm an important part of this fic.
Chise: Yeah, well....
Chise turns around as her weapons disappear, leaving a normal schoolgirl with half her uniform trashed. She sits down and leans against the wall.
Chise: I wonder where Robin has got to....
Meanwhile, back in the desert....
Tomo: I know.... You're Sena Robin, aren't you!
Angela: ....
Yume: I'm sorry she isn't saying anything.
Tomo: She doesn't say much as Robin either. A real party
animal!
Angela: ....
Yume: I think you've upset her.
Yume bows to Angela.
Yume: I apologise for her behaviour.
Tomo: What are you apologising for? She's the one who isn't
saying anything.
Tomo jumps onto Angela's camel and pokes a finger into her forehead.
Tomo: Your seiyuu is chickenshit! Nya nya nya.
Angela: Silence.
There is a glow around Tomo, and a cheesily CG animated cross with wings passes through her. Tomo opens her mouth and finds she doesn't have a voice anymore.
Tomo: ....
Yume: Angela! That was rude! Apologise to her for that and
give her back her voice!
Angela: I'm sure you can do all of my apologising for me.
Yume: That's not fair! I don't keep apologising.
Angela: Yes you do.
Yume: Oh.... I do, don't I? Sorry.
Tomo's face screws up in anger and she grabs Angela's hair, pulling it clean off. Underneath there is brown hair, tied up in crude, stiff, ribboned pigtails. Tomo gestures in triumph.
Yume: Angela-san.... You ARE Robin, after all.
Robin: Bugger....
Robin grabs the blond wig back and reattaches it to her head, becoming Angela again.
Meanwhile, in Tokyo....
Chise: She's probably off somewhere, having a more interesting
scene than this one....
Chise looks down at the ground.
Chise: This isn't fair. The world is in danger if I exist, and
they expect me to turn up once a week to look after this
wall.... I could wipe out all life, and nobody seems to
care. I wish I could just disappear....
Boogiepop: Did someone call me?
Chise looks up and sees another schoolgirl in a large hat and elaborate cloak with lots of straps and buckles.
Chise: Oh bugger.... This fic is about to go non-linear....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: I so need another job. This one just doesn't pay enough.
Chise: You think you have problems.
Boogiepop sniffs and poses dramatically.
Boogiepop: You are a danger to this world. I can't have you
wandering Earth, destroying things as you please.
Chise: I already said that, in a roundabout way. Please come up
with better lines.
Boogiepop: Look, do you want to do this?
Chise: Sorry, the hat wouldn't fit.
Boogiepop: Hmph! I have only one thing to say to you....
Chise: What?
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: ....
Chise: ....
Boogiepop: Does the hat and cloak make me look fat?
END OF PART 40 TO BE CONTINUED....
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Will Chise be "taken away" by Boogiepop? Does this mean the entire fic will now be shaded in a sepia tone, and does the very thought give you the shits? Is Angela really Robin is disguise? Will Ami and Makoto ever reappear, as they are supposed to be the main characters. Will Yume ever stop apologising? Did Chise give her the apologising bug in the first place? Will Tomo ever stop being an annoying prat? Has the writer any plan for this fic whatsoever? The answers to, just perhaps, maybe, if you absolutely must put money on it, some of these questions in the next chapter of this squishy, chewy and slightly tangy fanfic called "The Fanfic Formerly Known As....", due sometime between now and the end of the world. Please don't leave the lights on when Chise makes things go kaboom! The electricity bill will be enormous.
DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) darkdayforanime@hotmail.com
SNARF 1.0 - Thursday 24th July 2003
