Suffocation

Written By: Rage of BlackMist

Chapter Two: Death's Iron Doors

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me, but is the property of the Sotsu Agency, Sunrise and Fuji TV.

___________________

Hilde glanced at the clock positioned just above the hospital bed to the right of her seat. Twelve hours had already passed, and not a single thing had happened. Her neck was cramped from sitting so long without movement, and her back ached. Pain shot through her body; she cursed as another wave of heat shot up her right side.

Time seemed to move utterly slow, making the wait even more impatient. The wait was for her friend, Karen Ericson, and the little boy she sheltered inside her stomach. Complicated as it was, matters just got worse when time hit the twelve hour point; the point of labor where either the unborn child was pronounced dead or alive. And in a couple of minutes the answer would surface, whether it be good or bad.

She hung her head down and prayed silently for the unborn baby to live... 'Karen needs her son more than she realizes.' Hilde thought to herself, not daring to mention it out loud for it would only upset Becky more.

The past two months had been hell on her very pregnant friend, especially the past three days. 'If only Karen weren't alone.'

But Karen is, and the way she became alone was hardening. In fact it's down right horrible.

Karen's husband, the one she adored with all her might and soul, is gone. He was killed, supposedly, in a fire on some non-civilized colony in space, but Hilde knew better than to believe that. Karen and Daimon were Preventor's, the cutest couple, until Isabella came along and ruined everything that her friends had shared.

Hilde, who figured it out, discovered that way back, when Karen and Daimon got married, Daimon was seeing Isabella, cheating on Karen at his best. Of course her friend didn't know, and still did not know. How could she? Hilde wouldn't tell her, and sure as hell Daimon hadn't. But the fact of the matter was that Daimon cheated on her, and his death hadn't been from accidental fire burns.

Accidental fire burns?! HA!!

Daimon sacrificed himself instead by lunging into the hot burning flames to save his "beloved" Isabella from falling in. Karen found out a week after they found his body; she had to confirm the body as his. The search team covered up the betrayal. They said that he fell into the flames and was killed from burns when Karen had asked how it happened. They took pity on her because she was at the peak of her pregnancy at the time. Karen was very healthy and strong when he'd died, but now, two months later, three weeks after her baby's due date, she became weak and frail.

Her eyes could barely open wide enough to see anything, and she had become thinner and thinner by the minute. Tears seemed to never leave her cheeks, and a bag full of used tissues lay next to her. She was absolutely making herself sick, and Hilde was doing everything in her power to help her heart broken friend get through this.

Two chimes echoed through the room, dark started closing in on them from behind. Doctors rushed past the room; a room enclosed with see-through plastic walls. It felt suffocating, being in this room filled with pain and suffering. She had to get out, but she couldn't, wouldn't; afraid for leaving only to return and have missed everything...

"Please go home, Hilde." Karen mumbled quietly, almost whisper like, using what little breath of air that still clung to her lungs. A single tear streamed down her left cheek, She did not want Hilde to see the crystal gel but failing in the attempt of hiding it from her.

Hilde watched while pain engulfed her dear friend, twisting her heart, wanting the pain to come to her instead. At least she'd be able to bare it.

"No way." Hilde uttered a little to softly. "No way," she repeated again, "I'm not leaving until I hold that tiny baby in my arms. Then I'll be satisfied enough to leave you to rest." Hilde tried to smile for Karen, but the smile was lost with all the others that she had tried to cast in the last twelve hours.

"So be it." She chanted out as she fell into deep sleep. A sleep that scared Hilde, making her shake her friend fiercely so that she'd wake up again.

"Come on Karen, don't give up on me now. You've come too far to give up." Hilde shook her shoulders one final time, Karen's eyes snapping open with fright.

"I can't!" She cried out, loud enough to wake the dead. "You don't understand."

Shock consumed Hilde. That was the first time in twelve hours that Karen had said something that made any sense. It frightened Hilde from her head to her toes.

"Save your strength, sweetie.. You'll need it for the birth," Hilde whispered delicately, trying to soothe her dear friend.

She fought back the tears that welled in her eyes but didn't succeed. She wasn't strong enough to hold the tears back... If only she could just make everything better....

"It's over Hil." She whispered, her voice hoarse and dry from hours without water. "It's over..."

"No it's not. Stop trying to down talk yourself Karen!" Hilde yelled. She hated it when her friend talked of how life was over.

Life wasn't over, and it wouldn't be for a very, very long time. But getting Karen to believe that was next to impossible.

"How can I get you to see that it is? Hilde I'm...." She choked and couldn't finish the last part of the sentence.

"You're what?" Hilde shook Becky, "Damnit, answer me!"

"I'm so sorry Hil... I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted Daimon back... I wanted a family so badly that I didn't think, I didn't care..." Her words came out cold and shallow, just like her heart and soul. "I thought that maybe, just maybe, luck was on my side but the odds were against me. They always are." A flood of tears cascaded down her cheeks, Hilde did not dare to wipe them away.

Instead Hilde just locked eyes with her lifeless friend until a light appeared and clicked in her mind. Karen was dying...

Slowly, painfully, alone... She was dying!

"NO!!" Hilde cried out as she took her friend in a deep embrace. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was selfish, Hil. I'm so sorry..." A sob escaped her dry lips.

Lunging forwardKaren grabbed her stomach, fear in her expression. Suddenly, sparks lit her eyes and they danced with hope.

Soon a tiny child would be brought into this world, taking its first breath of air, while a desperate mother fought with all her strength to hold the innocent she bore for nine months....

In a matter of seconds, one life would live on, while the other would die with a heart broken into pieces and tears burning her flesh.

"Hil, get the doctor." The words were uttered sorrowfully, with a final acceptance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hilde waited impatiently outside the delivery room, listening intensely for any sounds of a baby crying. When she heard none, she slumped in her chair.

"Damn those iron doors straight to hell," Hilde whispered to herself not thinking anyone could hear her.

"I agree with you one hundred percent miss." A voice spoke to her quietly. Hilde turned just in time to see a pair of sad eyes turn misty.

"Doctor Sonar." Hilde gasped in surprise. Why he is out her and not in there with her friend? The aswered angerd her beyond belief. "What are..."

Her words became silent when a muffled scream caught her ears. Held in the doctors arm was a tiny blue bundle, small enough to hold in the palm of a man's hand. Duo's hands... Tears formed in her eyes as she reached out for the tiny baby that didn't so much as cry.

Although, instead of holding her godchild, Hilde came back to reality. Karen!!' She had to congratulate Karen on her son. The son that looked so much like the mother herself. Same black hair, green eyes and strong nose... But different face structure, or was the lighting playing tricks on them?

"Doctor may I go in and...?" Hilde wasn't allowed to finish her sentence. The swift motion of the doctor's head shaking left to right, then left to right again told her not to. "NO!" She cried out, lunging for the iron doors that separated birth, and sometimes death, from reality.

Before Hilde could make it through the irons doors, two pairs of arms circled her waist, holding her back before she walked in on a lifeless body soaked in tears. The men twisted and turned her until she wept, uncontrollably, in their arms; her tears soaking their clothes just like Becky's tears had soaked hers.

It just wasn't fair, Hilde kept repeating to herself over and over again. Karen wasn't that weak... She was not so weak as to die during birth. And Hilde just wouldn't accept it, not in a million years would she ever.

For a mere second, Hilde hated the child that slept in the doctors arm, the child that had killed his own mother. Bile rose in her throat after she heard her thoughts over again.

It wasn't the child's fault, it was fate's fault; never the innocent's. Hilde collapsed onto a near by chair and let hours of pent up tears take their toll. It wasn't until after two boxes of tissues and a walk into an empty room that she realize that Karen wouldn't want her to cry.

Despite the fact that Hilde wasn't ready to accept her dear friend's death, she still had too. In order for her to move on, she had to realize that Becky was dead, and that she was not coming back. Life was too short to let emotions take over your soul. Damn those screwing emotions.

While Hilde tried to collect herself, one of the nurses came in, waiting patiently until Hilde made notice of her presence.

"May I help you?" Hilde asked in a whisper. She felt like it was time to conclude her sorrow. Then she could send a silent prayer to the heavens, and seek out the beautiful baby boy.

"No, I won' let this happen." The nurse uttered out beneath her breath. The old lady knew she had no right to say what was on her mind, but she couldn't just stand and watch as a strong young woman sank into depression. "Yous stronger den that, I can tell by the way yous carry yous-self. Don't let 'er death eat yous alive. Miss. Karen knew she didn' have much 'ime to live, and it's no that son of hers, and no yousself that is to blame. Don' deny it 'cause I won let you." It was spoken in a hidden European tongue which claimed her to be Scottish.

But before Hilde could turn around and say she was ready to forgive, that outspoken nurse gave her a familiar glare that immediately silenced her. Where Hilde was concerned, Karen's death wasn't her fault. Nor was it the baby's or Daimon's or even Isabella's. It was fate's fault. Plain and simple.

"Thanks.. It's good to hear the truth." Hilde said, looking into crystal orbs in the Scots woman's eyes. They looked so familiar, it frightened her. Same green eyes as Rebecca's. "That meant a lot to me..."

"Err... No needin to be gettin' all emotional on me. Come 'ere child." The woman ordered and Hilde obeyed. For the longest time Hilde cried on the old woman's shoulder until she could give no more.

"What am I going to do?" Hilde asked herself out loud. "What on earth am I going to do?" she asked again, giving a little humor into her voice.

"Live." The old Scottish woman, named Rebecca, called out as she disappeared down the hall. Over her shoulder, once more she called out, "Live child! It's all that's left to be done."

"I will Rebecca, believe me, I will." Hilde whispered to both Karen and the Scots woman as she glanced at the tiny infant through the see-through window. "I promise, that little boy with black hair and green eyes will not live without love."

With that said and done, Hilde walked out of the room she had spent twelve hours in soothing her dear friend, out of the hall that held the iron doors to Heaven, and into the room that told her of her future.

A future with laughter and love....

A future with hope and hate....

And a future with a baby boy to call her own....

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't until one week and three days after Karen's death, and her son's arrival, that Hilde got to take the precious baby home with her. Despite the fact that literally leaving the hospital with the baby wasn't hard enough, actually getting the baby to become legally hers was another story by itself. For five days straight Hilde had to fight tooth and nail, with no sleep and barely enough time to get food into her system, for her legalization as the mother of James Kayoun, son of the deceased Daimon and Karen Ericson.

Twice she had to attended a court session, which held no point other than to see if she was fit enough to be a mother with no preparation, etc. And Hells Bells did Hilde knock every one of the Child Care services off their feet when she graced them with her womanly charm, outstanding career portfolio and on going enthusiasm. She was excellent, and she knew it.

On May 15th, AC 199 James Kayoun Ericson was born- and on May 25th, AC 199 James Kayoun legally became Hilde Schbeckier's son. That day was one too happy and exciting to explain. There was no party or friends to share it with, but Hilde was content with that. As long as James was with her, she was perfectly happy.

Then she remembered a certain brown haired man, with eyes so intense they controlled your mind, lips so smooth she yearned for their soft touch, and a voice so deep she could hear him whispering to her in her sleep.

That alone frightened her....

Hilde, more than anything, wanted to pick up the phone and tell Duo her good fortune, but of course, no one besides herself, the hospital staff and Child Care services knew that she had become a mother. And no one, besides them, would ever know.

Although, that really didn't bother Hilde. She was, after all, new to the whole parenting thing, and getting settled in with James underfoot was a struggle.

Since Hilde had never been the type of woman who loved children but didn't involve herself with them, she was a regular in the beginning. After all, back on earth she had been a constant baby-sitter for a couple of her friends. Changing dippers and feeding babies gave a feeling of womanhood, a feeling of family that Hilde had no problem dealing with. Odd as it may seem, that's just the way Hilde was. So, raising James on her own to begin with hadn't be a problem at all. Well that's what she realized anyway until the first week went by, James had Hilde running from store to store, buying make-do baby clothes, blankets, bottles, dippers, medicine, and the like.

Along with that, it seemed almost every other day Hilde was back at the hospital asking Rebecca, and old Scottish nurse, how to do this and how to do that. "What's that again? Oh right now I remember. Wait how do you get rid of it? Okay, yeah I remember it all now." Hilde repeated those phrases constantly, not noticing the struggle in her voice and the tiredness in her eyes.

Rebecca sensed it though, and an angel she must be, she volunteered to live with Hilde for the first couple of weeks, helping her out until she got back on her feet again and things became semi-normal again.

Hilde had a business to run, and Becca needed something to fill her time... What was more perfect then to have Becca stay with Hilde and help her care for the baby? Pretty good deal, eh?

Now, sitting alone in her make shift office, Hilde yawned and accidentally brought one of Jakes, short for James, bottle to her mouth.

"Drinkin' baby formula I see." Becca, she asked Hilde to call her that, called out from the door way smiling. A laugh escaped her lips as she walked into the room with a tray full of fruit and goodies. "Here." She placed the tray on the desk, on the top of a million papers to be exact, and took the bottle out of Hilde's hands.

Hilde shook her head once she realized she almost drank the acrid BabyNonSick formula she forced her son to drink. If it wasn't for Becca constantly telling Hilde to do this and that, Hilde would have had Jake in plastic dippers and feeding him 'BabyStillSick' formula. She cringed at the very thought.

But of course, Becca would not allow Hilde to indulge in such a thing. Little James Kayoun Ericson Schbeckier would receive the best and only the best; he deserved no less.

"Becca, what would I do without your help?" Hilde asked, taking an apple in the wake and biting into its savoring curve.

"Do yous really wan me to tell?" Becca shot back, folding her arms across her chest.

Hilde nodded, eyeing one of the oranges, licking her lips, anticipating the taste.

"Probably putting that son of yours in an early grave with all your modern day baby equipment and the such." Becca said in perfect English, the sentence coming out with a hint of truth. Hilde knew it too. That's why she glanced at Becca with a look of adoration.

"Think so?" Hilde laughed out while reaching for the phone that had started ringing only seconds ago. "HT Division 9, Hilde speaking." She said into the phone while giving Becca a smile as she left the room to go check on Jake.

"Hello!!" Hilde called into the phone somewhat annoyed and waiting for a response.

Although when a response finally came it was one most unexpected. A deep voice filled her ears, alarming her senses to quickly hang the phone up and pretend the operator disconnected them. But another sense willed her not to, winning instead.

"I found you minx," Duo uttered out seductively, whispering his words, leaving them chanting in Hilde's mind. "But I have yet to capture you. Let me capture you minx..." his voice trailed off.

Hilde urged herself to answer his question. More than anything, she wanted to say yes. 'Yes, capture me, keep me, anything...' But nothing seemed to come out, except the name of the man who haunted her thoughts and filled her dreams.

"Duo..."

__________________________________________________________________

TBC

Please Review if you want the next chapter....