Twisted Kiss
A crazy fic by chocolate-freak
Chapter Three
Mmmm Mmmmm Good!
chocolate-freak- PEOPLE LOVE ME! THEY REALLY LOVE ME! *points accusingly at Marina* YOU TOLD ME THAT NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME!
Marina- well they don't!
chocolate-freak- shut up! i have reveiwers and YOU don't!
Marina- not all of them like you.
chocolate-freak- *is using the flames to toast a marshmallow* don't you know that hate is love?
Marina- i was afraid of this.
chocolate-freak- what?
Marina- you turning into a hippie.
chocolate-freak- *growls* anyway, whatever, here's chapter three. to all my reveiwers, I LOVE YA! not as much as fudge covered oreo cookies *drools* but almost.
Marina- *bitch-slaps her*
chocolate-freak- ow
Marina- *pimp-slaps her*
chocolate-freak- ow
Marina- i'm running out of slaps...
[The Next Day at Lunch]
[Zoom in on the Slytherin table, where Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle are being immature (yet in Draco's case, sexy) little piggies. Oink.]
Draco- *loudly, so all four tables can hear* and THEN i told father, I WANT A PONY! and would you believe it, he bought me one!
Pansy- *oink, oink*
Goyle- *takes a sip of his Campbell's and glances at Crabbe. Fancy love music plays and his eyes go all fluttery and crap.*
Crabbe- duh, ponies are awesome
Goyle- *takes his hand* duh, yeah
Crabbe- duh, what are you doing?
Draco- yeah, really? i thought you were straight...well, straight in the sense that you have no idea what anything sexual even is.
Goyle- duh, let's go mate like rabbits
Crabbe- duh, okay. *they duck under the table, random grunts and stupid chuckling noises are heard*
Pansy- oh my.
Draco- *takes a sip of Campbells and glances up at the staff table, laying eyes on Professor Sprout....*
Marina- NO! SWITCH TO A DIFFERENT SCENE!
chocolate-freak- yeesh, okay....
[Care of Magical Creatures Class, Hagrid's Hut. Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy are missing.]
Hagrid- *takes a sip of pina colada before he goes out to teach his class, which has been laced with Love Potion by none other than...*
chocolate-freak- quick, play the drumroll!
Marina- we don't have a drumroll, this is a low budget fic.
chocolate-freak- *pounds on a table for a drumroll effect*
*....ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!!*
Marina- *more sarcasm* big surprise.
Hagrid- *strolls outside and lays eyes on Hermione, fancy cheesy music plays and then there is a screeching noise.*
Marina- what happened?
chocolate-freak- tape player broke.
Marina- *slaps herself in the forehead*
Hermione- *squeay voice* hi, Hagrid!
Marina- NO! DON'T GO THERE!
chocolate-freak- oh, go there i will.
Hagrid- 'ello, 'Ermione....how's about helping me bring out today's project from inside me hut?
Hermione- *blissfully unaware* okay! *follows him into the hut*
[HALF AN HOUR LATER]
Ron- has class started yet?
Harry- i think it has for Hermione....
Marina- STOP! STOP STOP STOP!
chocolate-freak- okay, fine. i hate you just so you know.
Marina- the hate is mutually equal with moi.
Harry- i'm going to go up the Greenhouses and see if Professor Sprout knows what's going on here...
[At the Greenhouses]
Ron- *knocks on the Greenhouse door* PROFESSOR?
Harry- just go in. maybe she can't hear us.
Ron- *opens the door, looks in, and immediately closes it, looking sick*
Harry- what the? *glances in* oh god.
Draco- want to join us?
Sprout- *slurping noises*
Marina- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!!!
chocolate-freak- i didn't write that.....
Marina- then who did?
chocolate-freak- maybe another one of my personalities.
Marina- WHAT?
chocolate-freak- well, today's monday. monday i have six personalities. saturday i have nine, and thursdays i have seven.
Marina- okay. the fic has to end here cos Insane Authoress has to take a little trip to the mental ward escorted by me.
chocolate-freak- ooh! do i get a pretty jacket that straps in the back?
Marina- i think it might be necessary.
I COMMAND YOU TO WORSHIP THIS MASTERPIECE OF LITERATURE BY REVIEWING IT! REVEIW! REVIEW! REVIEW! MWA HA HA HA!
A crazy fic by chocolate-freak
Chapter Three
Mmmm Mmmmm Good!
chocolate-freak- PEOPLE LOVE ME! THEY REALLY LOVE ME! *points accusingly at Marina* YOU TOLD ME THAT NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME!
Marina- well they don't!
chocolate-freak- shut up! i have reveiwers and YOU don't!
Marina- not all of them like you.
chocolate-freak- *is using the flames to toast a marshmallow* don't you know that hate is love?
Marina- i was afraid of this.
chocolate-freak- what?
Marina- you turning into a hippie.
chocolate-freak- *growls* anyway, whatever, here's chapter three. to all my reveiwers, I LOVE YA! not as much as fudge covered oreo cookies *drools* but almost.
Marina- *bitch-slaps her*
chocolate-freak- ow
Marina- *pimp-slaps her*
chocolate-freak- ow
Marina- i'm running out of slaps...
[The Next Day at Lunch]
[Zoom in on the Slytherin table, where Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle are being immature (yet in Draco's case, sexy) little piggies. Oink.]
Draco- *loudly, so all four tables can hear* and THEN i told father, I WANT A PONY! and would you believe it, he bought me one!
Pansy- *oink, oink*
Goyle- *takes a sip of his Campbell's and glances at Crabbe. Fancy love music plays and his eyes go all fluttery and crap.*
Crabbe- duh, ponies are awesome
Goyle- *takes his hand* duh, yeah
Crabbe- duh, what are you doing?
Draco- yeah, really? i thought you were straight...well, straight in the sense that you have no idea what anything sexual even is.
Goyle- duh, let's go mate like rabbits
Crabbe- duh, okay. *they duck under the table, random grunts and stupid chuckling noises are heard*
Pansy- oh my.
Draco- *takes a sip of Campbells and glances up at the staff table, laying eyes on Professor Sprout....*
Marina- NO! SWITCH TO A DIFFERENT SCENE!
chocolate-freak- yeesh, okay....
[Care of Magical Creatures Class, Hagrid's Hut. Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy are missing.]
Hagrid- *takes a sip of pina colada before he goes out to teach his class, which has been laced with Love Potion by none other than...*
chocolate-freak- quick, play the drumroll!
Marina- we don't have a drumroll, this is a low budget fic.
chocolate-freak- *pounds on a table for a drumroll effect*
*....ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!!*
Marina- *more sarcasm* big surprise.
Hagrid- *strolls outside and lays eyes on Hermione, fancy cheesy music plays and then there is a screeching noise.*
Marina- what happened?
chocolate-freak- tape player broke.
Marina- *slaps herself in the forehead*
Hermione- *squeay voice* hi, Hagrid!
Marina- NO! DON'T GO THERE!
chocolate-freak- oh, go there i will.
Hagrid- 'ello, 'Ermione....how's about helping me bring out today's project from inside me hut?
Hermione- *blissfully unaware* okay! *follows him into the hut*
[HALF AN HOUR LATER]
Ron- has class started yet?
Harry- i think it has for Hermione....
Marina- STOP! STOP STOP STOP!
chocolate-freak- okay, fine. i hate you just so you know.
Marina- the hate is mutually equal with moi.
Harry- i'm going to go up the Greenhouses and see if Professor Sprout knows what's going on here...
[At the Greenhouses]
Ron- *knocks on the Greenhouse door* PROFESSOR?
Harry- just go in. maybe she can't hear us.
Ron- *opens the door, looks in, and immediately closes it, looking sick*
Harry- what the? *glances in* oh god.
Draco- want to join us?
Sprout- *slurping noises*
Marina- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!!!
chocolate-freak- i didn't write that.....
Marina- then who did?
chocolate-freak- maybe another one of my personalities.
Marina- WHAT?
chocolate-freak- well, today's monday. monday i have six personalities. saturday i have nine, and thursdays i have seven.
Marina- okay. the fic has to end here cos Insane Authoress has to take a little trip to the mental ward escorted by me.
chocolate-freak- ooh! do i get a pretty jacket that straps in the back?
Marina- i think it might be necessary.
I COMMAND YOU TO WORSHIP THIS MASTERPIECE OF LITERATURE BY REVIEWING IT! REVEIW! REVIEW! REVIEW! MWA HA HA HA!
