Twisted Kiss
A crazy fic by chocolate-freak
Chapter Four
Infected Lake
chocolate-freak- *is rocking back and forth humming to herself* oh, hi! well I'm back and I must say the mental ward suits me very well indeedy. isn't my hospital bracelet pretty?
Marina- good lord, take me now *is holding a lightning rod*
chocolate-freak- anyway, thanks to all my nice reviewers *pats the reviewers on the head and gives them each a cookie* thankies! I never thought anyone would like this fic, mostly because I wrote it in a state of delirium.
Marina- you're ALWAYS in a state of delirium! *hits her with a dead fish*
chocolate-freak- *eyes go wide and she twitches* dead fish...no....no, I hate dead fish......no! no!!!!!
Harry- *has finally recovered from the scene at the greenhouses* I am never eating again.
Ron- *pulls out a pie chart and puts on glasses* one hundred percent of statistics surveyed over three years show that if you don't eat... you'll get hungry.
Harry- *mumbles incoherently* git.
Ron- *thinks a bit* wait, how do we know that everyone is turning homosexual and horny and stuff because we ate the soup? we don't know that dumbledore (a/n: dumbledore shall be referred to from now on as 'sexy muskrat') put the Love Potionz in the soup. in fact we don't know about the Love Potionz at all yet....
Harry- another one of Crazy Author's plot holes, I geuss.
Ron- oh. okies.
Harry- so now we must go on a daring and unplanned magical quest on the back of a purple unicorn named Alexander to reverse the Love Potionz!!!
Ron- *is slurping some Campbell's soup out of one of those spiffy little plaid thermos things* uh huh. *tosses the thermos in the lake, where the giant squid snatches it*
Harry- NO!!!! YOU STUPID !@#$$*^& GIT DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE!!!
Ron- no. can we go hump I mean ride Alexander now?
Harry- YOU GAVE THE FECKING SOUP TO THE GIANT (AND NOW HOMOSEXUAL) SQUID!!!
Squid- *grabs some first year Hufflepuffs and drags them into the lake. we don't want to know what's going on down there.*
Ron- *realization dawns on his face* ooooooh! whups. anyway i'm gonna go screw that purple unicorn you were talking about just cos that was the first thing I i saw after I ate the soup. toodlez Harry! *giggles*
Harry- *grabs Marina's lightning rod*
Marina- chocolate-freak! what are you doing? you can't have the hero kill himself!
chocolate-freak- it always happens at angsty times like this, besides all good angsty fanfics have at least one suicide attempt.
Marina- *sarcasm again* oh yes, this is a real GREAT fanfic.
Squid- *tickles Marina seductively*
Marina- ACK! UNHAND ME VILE FEIND!
chocolate-freak- good squid. now go and wreak havoc apon the school. good girl!
Marina- the squid is a lesbian?
chocolate-freak- of course!
Marina- GIVE MY LIGHTNING ROD BACK!
Harry- *growls*
Marina- on second thought, keep it.
Squid- *scuttles into the Great Hall*
Marina- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SQUIDS CAN'T LIVE OUT OF WATER AND THEY DON'T SCUTTLE!
chocolate-freak- *matter of factly* plot hole.
Marina- !@*&(?~))!!!!
Squid- *carries off McGonagall*
Harry- *desperately* what am i going to do? oh woe is me. i think i'll just go wallow in self pity. someone else can deal with this.
Snape- *heroic French accent* I'll save you Minerva!.....tomorrow.
chocolate-freak- cos my fingers are getting sore and i'm tired of typing.
Marina- *more sarcasm, she's good at it* original excuse.
chocolate-freak- why don't you ever hit me with a hammer or an anvil like a sensible person?
Marina- we're all out, I took them with me to an interview with Oprah Winfrey and sadly she needed to be hit by those alot more than you do.
chocolate-freak- oh. well anyway it's SNAPE TO THE RESCUE when we return! byez!
REVIEW! I LIKE REVIEWS! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM NOT HAPPY! YEE HEE HEE!
A crazy fic by chocolate-freak
Chapter Four
Infected Lake
chocolate-freak- *is rocking back and forth humming to herself* oh, hi! well I'm back and I must say the mental ward suits me very well indeedy. isn't my hospital bracelet pretty?
Marina- good lord, take me now *is holding a lightning rod*
chocolate-freak- anyway, thanks to all my nice reviewers *pats the reviewers on the head and gives them each a cookie* thankies! I never thought anyone would like this fic, mostly because I wrote it in a state of delirium.
Marina- you're ALWAYS in a state of delirium! *hits her with a dead fish*
chocolate-freak- *eyes go wide and she twitches* dead fish...no....no, I hate dead fish......no! no!!!!!
Harry- *has finally recovered from the scene at the greenhouses* I am never eating again.
Ron- *pulls out a pie chart and puts on glasses* one hundred percent of statistics surveyed over three years show that if you don't eat... you'll get hungry.
Harry- *mumbles incoherently* git.
Ron- *thinks a bit* wait, how do we know that everyone is turning homosexual and horny and stuff because we ate the soup? we don't know that dumbledore (a/n: dumbledore shall be referred to from now on as 'sexy muskrat') put the Love Potionz in the soup. in fact we don't know about the Love Potionz at all yet....
Harry- another one of Crazy Author's plot holes, I geuss.
Ron- oh. okies.
Harry- so now we must go on a daring and unplanned magical quest on the back of a purple unicorn named Alexander to reverse the Love Potionz!!!
Ron- *is slurping some Campbell's soup out of one of those spiffy little plaid thermos things* uh huh. *tosses the thermos in the lake, where the giant squid snatches it*
Harry- NO!!!! YOU STUPID !@#$$*^& GIT DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE!!!
Ron- no. can we go hump I mean ride Alexander now?
Harry- YOU GAVE THE FECKING SOUP TO THE GIANT (AND NOW HOMOSEXUAL) SQUID!!!
Squid- *grabs some first year Hufflepuffs and drags them into the lake. we don't want to know what's going on down there.*
Ron- *realization dawns on his face* ooooooh! whups. anyway i'm gonna go screw that purple unicorn you were talking about just cos that was the first thing I i saw after I ate the soup. toodlez Harry! *giggles*
Harry- *grabs Marina's lightning rod*
Marina- chocolate-freak! what are you doing? you can't have the hero kill himself!
chocolate-freak- it always happens at angsty times like this, besides all good angsty fanfics have at least one suicide attempt.
Marina- *sarcasm again* oh yes, this is a real GREAT fanfic.
Squid- *tickles Marina seductively*
Marina- ACK! UNHAND ME VILE FEIND!
chocolate-freak- good squid. now go and wreak havoc apon the school. good girl!
Marina- the squid is a lesbian?
chocolate-freak- of course!
Marina- GIVE MY LIGHTNING ROD BACK!
Harry- *growls*
Marina- on second thought, keep it.
Squid- *scuttles into the Great Hall*
Marina- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SQUIDS CAN'T LIVE OUT OF WATER AND THEY DON'T SCUTTLE!
chocolate-freak- *matter of factly* plot hole.
Marina- !@*&(?~))!!!!
Squid- *carries off McGonagall*
Harry- *desperately* what am i going to do? oh woe is me. i think i'll just go wallow in self pity. someone else can deal with this.
Snape- *heroic French accent* I'll save you Minerva!.....tomorrow.
chocolate-freak- cos my fingers are getting sore and i'm tired of typing.
Marina- *more sarcasm, she's good at it* original excuse.
chocolate-freak- why don't you ever hit me with a hammer or an anvil like a sensible person?
Marina- we're all out, I took them with me to an interview with Oprah Winfrey and sadly she needed to be hit by those alot more than you do.
chocolate-freak- oh. well anyway it's SNAPE TO THE RESCUE when we return! byez!
REVIEW! I LIKE REVIEWS! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM NOT HAPPY! YEE HEE HEE!
