Chapter 3
Mauve the fairy flitted through the forest of Faewood. She was a beautiful thing, with reddish-orange-yellow hair, and blue-green-purple eyes that were as bright as stars. No one could look her in the face, because they got a really bright light in the face. She was a very powerful fairy, and she could command the weather and do all the things that show up in X-Men comics.
Mauve was the queen of the Fae. She was dressed in the finest green silk, and a wreath of ivy leaves crowned her head. Unfortunately, it was poison ivy. Her forehead got a very nasty rash on it. Mauve was constantly rubbing her forehead.
She had a bit of a… thing… for Aragorn, which would become a plot-point later. In all her melodrama and irritatingly perfect beauty, she would capture Aragorn's heart, kill of Arwen, and live happily ever after.
Mauve began to sing. She thought her voice was like birdsong, but really it was more like a bird being choked to death while scratching on a blackboard. In other words, it was very unpleasant. The song was to the melody of a Backstreet Boys song, which just made it even more irritating. It was very cheesy, and used the word 'heart' far too much. After all, a heart really isn't too much to look at; it's just a rather squishy hunk of muscle.
She flitted through the trees, defying gravity. Her wings were about one foot by five-and-a-half inches, and she was the size of an elf. If the laws of gravity applied to this situation, she would be flapping her wings and going nowhere. Suddenly, she flew right through a convenient inter-dimensional portal.
When Mauve reappeared, she was in Rivendell. Big surprise. She was just in time for the Council.
"Well met, friends!" she cried, and landed right in the middle of the council. The elves had their arrows out in an instant, the men drew their swords, and the dwarves hefted their axes to the ready.
"I do not know your purposes for interrupting this Council, but it would be wise of you to state them!" Elrond said, his tone harsh. An air of nobility surrounded him.
Through a sudden Random Plothole, Mauve knew everything about the Ring, the Fellowship, and everything that was in the movies. After all, the Author couldn't be bothered with reading the books. She only drooled over Aragorn during the movies anyway, so she didn't know much about them, either.
Most of the Council began to fall under her spell. They watched her blankly, every trace of their former character gone. The only ones that resisted the Mary-Sue's spell was Elrond and Gimli. But, alas for the dwarf, because though his mind was his to command, his body was not. He couldn't lift a finger to stop Mauve.
"I have come tohelp the Ringberer!" she cried, trying to out-noble Elrond. "I will help him bear the burden, for the Ring cannot effect me!"
With that statement, Mauve (somehow) swooped down to the pedestal in the middle of the Council, while scratching her head a bit. She reached her hand out to the Ring. Her fingers were scarcely a breath away when she felt a sudden sharp pain. When she turned around, she saw Aragorn. He had stabbed her with a dagger. His breath came in sharp gasps, as though he had just run a great distance.
Aragorn had freed himself from the Sue's spell, and was determined to stop her from taking the Ring. He did not know if she was a spy of Sauron's. Aragorn suspected it was so, because she looked fair but felt foul.
Mauve moaned in despair, and imploded. There was a sudden burst of pink glitter, and Middle-earth saw no more of Mauve, Queen of the Fae.
It did, however, take three days to get rid of the stupid pink glitter.
