Chapter Three: Onigiri de aita

Met over Riceballs

Time moved on.

It has a habit of doing that.

'How are you feeling today, Rei-chan?'

'Much better, thankyou Madam.'

Madam smiled a genuine smile.

'That's good.'

Reiko smiled and smoothed down her blanket over her lap as she sat in her bed, and turned her eyes to the garden beyond the opened doors on the outside side of her room.

'Thankyou for making time to come and see me.' The handmaid added. She had been forbidden to do anything that strained her too much- this, given her condition when Soujiro-sama had left without saying goodbye, was quite a bit. Now, almost a year later, her attacks were fewer and less dramatic, but they still sent her to bed to rest. Reiko was grateful to Soujiro-sama. He had freed Madam and the children from the drunken rampages of her husband.

Reiko's own abuse at the hands of the man had been a part of her everyday life and she had grown used to that. But now she was feeling much better, and she was learning… learning to have fun. The cook was teaching her how to make sweet things for the children, and she had several people in town she could talk with and listen to when she went shopping with Kashiko, one of the kitchen maids. Soujiro's actions, she knew, had led to her new life.

But she remembered that night when he'd screamed in his sleep. He'd sounded like a child. She remembered the look in his eyes when he realised what he'd done, back in the market place, as blood rained down. The same look came back so often… pain, hurt, regret.

Killing people wasn't something he wanted to do.

'You're thinking about Soujiro-kun again.' Madam observed. The two women sometimes talked about him; Reiko, Madam knew, worried about him even though she knew it probably knew it wasn't necessary. She was just that kind of person. There was something, however, that drew the younger girl to the swordsman… probably the sadness that surrounded them both. Reiko was quiet, resigned- only just learning she had been mistreated and previously, had so little to be thankful for from the point of view of a normal person. The quiet conflict there that the girl silently pondered inside her own head gave her an air of a kind of thoughtful sadness. Sadness at her own ignorance, at the state of the world. Soujiro's sadness was more confused. If Madam was right and he was not used to experiencing emotions, that meant he was not used to controlling them like Reiko was. She was gentle and sensitive, but the presence of Madam and the children helped her keep her warmth. Soujiro had been so sensitive and so alone that he'd locked everything away.

He hadn't grown up. Emotions govern your personality throughout a lot of your childhood and adolescence. Soujiro had begun to experience emotions at the end of this period and that…

…meant he was volatile.

There was a kind of love there. Madam watched Reiko nod, smiling, and the girl's eyes faded away into thought again. Madam didn't know if Reiko built on what she knew of Soujiro. Fantasised versions of people were always so much better than the real thing.

Madam hoped Soujiro would pass by one day. The children missed him, and there really was something about him that drew her to him.

He'd never known his mother, if she guessed right.

Soujiro blinked, and looked at the graves. Time had made them less noticeable, but still-

He'd never meant to end up here. Damn policeman.

Soujiro had never sworn in eighteen years. Now, he had discovered that on occasion it was a good outlet for his emotions. Swearing too much made it mundane, but by limiting the profanities to certain occasions and people they gave a certain amount of satisfaction.

That policeman definitely warranted a "damn". They were so persistent.

His stomach growled, reminding him of how long he'd been on the road and just when he'd run out of food. From memory, that town was the closest…

He didn't really want to run into Madam or Reiko-san again. It wasn't that he didn't like them, quite the opposite. They were some of the very few that had given a confused teenager that smelt of blood a warm welcome. It was just that- just that he was still confused. He didn't have his answer yet, and he was afraid that he might…

…want to stay, and then he'd never find his answer.

Sneak in, buy food, get out. Good plan.

'Neechan, I'm hungry!'

'Boku mo, boku mo.' Souta chanted, from Reiko's arms.

'You too?' Reiko asked. Kenji and Souta smirked at each other. 'All right, your mother gave me some money for when this happened…' Reiko gently gave Souta to Kenji and pulled out her wallet. 'What would you like?'

'Niichan!'

'Eh?' Reiko asked. 'That's a strange thing to say, Kenj-' she stopped, her gaze following his as he bounced up and down in the street, waving his arms excitedly.

'NIIICHAAAAN! SOOOUJIROOOO!'

Reiko watched as the young man choked on his riceball, and Kenji scampered over and whacked him happily on the back to dislodge the rice.

'K-Kenji-san!'

'I told you, just Kenji.' Kenji scowled, and then wrinkled his nose. 'Oi, niichan, you need a bath.'

'Thanks.' Soujiro muttered, and then smiled. Another little boy scrambled up next to him. 'Who's this?'

'This is Souta, my pet monkey.' Kenji announced with a straight face. Soujiro's eyebrows shot up.

'Kenji-sama, that's not really very nice.'

'But it's true!'

Reiko sighed at the little boy and bowed to Soujiro, picking up Souta again.

'It's good to see you looking so well, Seta-sama.'

'You as well, Reiko-san.' Soujiro said. And she did look much better.

'What are you talking about?' Kenji demanded. 'He smells and he's half-starved and he has no money!'

'I have money.' Soujiro said, feeling some self-defence was in order.

'Did I ask you?' Kenji asked him regally. Reiko blushed in embarrassment and covered the boy's mouth with her hand.

'I'm sorry, it's his day out and he gets excited…'

'That's all right.' Soujiro said, hurrying to finish his riceball. His stomach growled and Souta giggled hysterically.

'Come to the house with us, niichan. You can stay for lunch, at least.' Kenji commanded, as if guessing the young man didn't want to stick around.

'Oh, I don't want to-'

'Mother would really like to see you again, I know she would. Come on, let's go! Hurry up, neechan!'

'Don't rush, you'll trip, Kenji-sama - oh dear…'

'….ano… Kenji-san? Daijoubu desuka?'

'Don't be silly, Rei-chan, I'm fi- EAGH! Ow!'

A sweatdrop slid down Soujiro's forehead. That was some nasty antiseptic. He said as much, and Reiko turned around from her medical administrations to smile at him.

'Yes, it is. It's from Germany… it hurts quite a lot but it's very effective and speeds up the healing.'

'Sou…' Soujiro murmured.

'Is something bothering you, Seta-sama?' Reiko asked. Soujiro almost jumped, and he waved his hands hurriedly.

'Oh, no, not really and-' he changed the subject rapidly '-please don't call me "Seta-sama", Reiko-san.'

She nodded.

'All right, Seta-sama.'

Soujiro blinked and a sweatdrop slid down his forehead as Kenji began laughing.

'Er… Reiko-san…'

'Hai, Seta-sama.' Reiko put the bowl down in front of him.

'Didn't we talk about that "seta-sama" thing?' Soujiro demanded. He could feel the tension normally possessing his shoulders and back easing away under the trivial thing.

'Hai, Seta-sama.'

'…Reiko…san….' Soujiro ground out. "Sama"…he wasn't a "sama" and never would be…

'Rei-chan, stop teasing Soujiro-kun.' Madam ordered. Reiko blinked.

'But I wasn't teasing him! I'm sorry Seta-sama, have I off- what are you doing on the floor?'

Soujiro gripped the edge of the table and pulled himself up, muttering. Madam covered her mouth with her sleeve. Soujiro held his head. He'd never face-faulted before. It hurt a bit, but he supposed you got used to it. He'd never done a lot of the things the people of this house made him do. When he was out on the road, he was almost… the same as he had been except more alone, silent and troubled. Here…

'Reiko-san, sit down please.' He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her down. Reiko looked at him blankly. 'I do not like being called "Seta-sama".'

There was a pause.

'but what else should I call you?' Reiko asked.

'Soujiro should be fine.'

'B-But I couldn't! It's so…' Reiko subsided as Madam had to turn away from them. Soujiro sighed.

'Look I don't care what you call me as long as it's not "Seta-sama".'

Reiko looked a bit lost. Soujiro guessed she'd never actually been ordered to call someone by something that wasn't extremely polite before. Everyone else seemed resigned to it.

'Try Soujiro-san for now.' Madam said.

'Have you finished laughing?' Soujiro asked politely. She smiled.

'Yes, thankyou. Will Soujiro-san do?'

Soujiro nodded, and they both looked at Reiko, who shaped the words with her mouth first before saying them aloud.

'Soujiro…san…'

Soujiro relaxed, and then realised he hadn't been troubled by truths or deep, meaningful thought for a good five minutes. Was that good or was it bad? How would ti affect him? What did it tell him about himself?

'You're thinking too much again.' Madam said sharply.

'Sorry, Shiori-san.'

'Ne, Reiko-san.' Soujiro looked over at the girl. She had come into the room he had been given to put in the bedding and clean, since they hadn't prepared a room in advance. Soujiro was sitting outside, his legs over the edge of the balcony over the garden.

'Hai, Soujiro-san?'

'What truth to you live by? I know I've asked you something similar before, but…'

Reiko nodded, and was silent for such a long time that Soujiro didn't think she was going to answer.

'I don't really know, Soujiro-san. You see…oh, I don't suppose it would matter much. Perhaps you should talk to Madam. I haven't learnt much.'

'That's why I'm asking you. You and I…' Soujiro shrugged, smiling, and looked back over the garden. Reiko was silent for a few more moments.

'I live by doing what my heart tells me to do, Soujiro-san. My heart and my head… what I feel is best and right. That way… I am me, I can be at peace, whether that path lets me live or die.'

'Waaaa….I'm so tiiiired…'

'You look exhausted, Kenji-san.'

'I feel exhausted.'

'What were you doing?'

'Mother and me were doing some business stuff.'

'Oh, I see.'

'…niichan, what're you thinking about? You look really sad.'

'Do I?'

'Yes. You do.'

****

A/N: You know how I said I wrote this beforehand? Well, I got up to here and decided I needed to see whether it was worth continuing so here it is ^_^ I'll upload the chapters properly when I've really finished… sorry. this is kind of a draft, I guess…

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