Title: Dear To My Heart
Author: Justine Benoit
Disclaimer: Monica, Andrew, Gloria, Tess, and Monique belong to Martha Williamson, CBS productions, and Moonwater productions.
Summary: Monique returns, but this time with a different purpose.
Rating: PG for violence, mild language, and supernatural happenings.
*Prologue: Flashbacks*
It had been a long hard day, and seeing this bus stop in the middle of nowhere made her cry. She was lonely for everyone—Andrew, Tess, and Gloria. They had been apart for so long. Now, she faced a tiny wooden bench, a rattlesnake hissing at her feet. It was just as if she was reliving that day—the day when she left—the day when she had been promoted to supervisor. But maybe her friends had left her instead. It wasn't that she was mad at them, but that she was upset at the previous events and didn't have anyone to blame. She couldn't possibly blame God. Look how far He had brought her—if she was anywhere.
She paced the barren dessert ground, her bare feet crunching down in the hot sand and stiff grass. As the sun set, she wondered how a bus could even come through such an area. Once upon a time she would've loved to walk through the dessert, her faith in God as strong as metal, but now was different. Times had changed since she had become a supervisor; she didn't have all of her friends to back her up—no supervisor to point her in the right direction when she was lost. Instead she was the one pointing someone in the right direction. And if she would admit it to anybody, she didn't like the responsibility.
It had started out three years back, when she had taken her first steps alone. Not that she was really alone, for God was with her every step of the way. He had even comforted her down that long road which seemed to go ever on, the bends getting longer each time, making it seem as if she were going in circles. And, at the time, she had almost wished she were. She had wanted to see Tess' face, feel her embrace once more and tell her friends 'thank you' once more. But it was over. Of course for an angel, there is never a real good bye, but still, seeing them at home was different then working with them everyday on earth.
Every time she thought back to that day that she began her new journey, it became more painful. Memories buried deep in her mind flashed before her. She could picture her friends faces as clear as ever. She could feel the warm embrace that Andrew had given her; locked in his arms, hoping she wouldn't have to leave. She could hear Gloria's sweet voice encouraging her. And Tess' teardrops, flowing down her dark cheeks, were so distinct. But for some reason, she was slowly loosing all of that. As time passed, minutes to months, those sweet memories faded. Her vision became unclear, and her mind dreary. Was it regular for an angel under this much pressure to feel stress and fatigue?
The sun was setting behind the mountains, painting a mixture of warm colors on the horizon and against the gathering clouds. It was indeed getting late, and all she could do was rest her head on the back of the bench and cry. Her body ached and therefor didn't feel like moving. She knew she would have to return sooner or later, but not quite yet. Once the canyon where she almost fell was here spot where she felt the safest, but as time passed, this bus stop replaced it. She hadn't gone to the canyon for two years. Ever since Rose was born, she hadn't felt the urge to. Each time she looked at Rose, she cried out in her mind. Rose reminded her so much of Gloria, and for a while, Monica had wished that she would've become Gloria's supervisor.
Then memories that she had shared with the youngest angel filled her throbbing head. But they, too, were fading. She could just barely see the cherry blossoms encircling Gloria, along with glorious beams of light from God's love.
Now Andrew's handsome face appeared in her mind. His emerald green eyes were dazzling with excitement as he attempted to teach her football, bowling, and even how to swim. She thought of the times when they had gone through the toughest assignments. He was usually there because it was someone's time to go home, and she was assisting him.
What made her choke was when she pictured Tess. She loved her so much and had always had such a special connection with her. Of course, they hadn't always been the best of friends. They had gotten off on the wrong foot when first meeting. But there were so many precious times that they shared—all of them.
She decided, after a few moments of complete silence, to open her brown eyes, which were red from crying. She hadn't wished to open them and see the earth around her, but rather to stay in her own world forever. She was suffering, and was afraid it showed. Actually, she could tell it showed by just the way Rose acted around her. Her charge was always asking what she could do to help or just acting worried.
A frightening rattle and hiss snapped her right out of her thoughts. She looked down at the ground and glared at the rattlesnake. It was right at her feet, in an attacking mode.
"Father, I don't have time for a battle. Shoo!" She exclaimed, motioning her hand in the opposite direction of herself. Without hesitation, the rattlesnake turned around and disappeared into the night-filled barren land. "Father," she prayed in a downhearted Irish lilt. "I need a sign."
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the lights of a bus' headlights flashed in her eyes and she sat up. The coach was rolling down the dirt road at a generous pace. Right away the bus driver caught sight of her and pulled the coach to a halt.
"Is this the sign, God? You want me to get on the bus once more?"
Yes, Child, I do.
She looked up at the night sky and sighed.
"If it is your will," she sobbed. How she longed not to. There were too many memories from this bus stop—including the bus. She had been traveling in other ways since the events that took place two years ago. But it even hurt to ride Tess' car—her car. "All right," she sighed.
Carefully, she stepped up the steps of the transport, and looked around inside. It was packed.
Well, if this is really what you want me to do, then so be it.
