**********************************
Standing together, Luka and Rose didn't notice Abby at first. They were too involved in each other. Luka's hands were at Rose's waist, Hers on Luka's back. Their lips... Abby winced.
Standing there, Abby franticly tried to decide what to do. Part of her wanted to run and hide. Another part made her clench her fists. She let the door swing and thump behind her. Luka and Rose jumped apart as if they had been shot, and Luka was the first to notice Abby.
"Oh my… Abby -" Luka started to walk towards her. "- Its not what it looks like, I was just-"
"What?!? Luka? What? She had something in her eye? Just because I'm a nurse doesn't make me brainless! You son of a bitch!"
Rose was perplexed. She'd finally met someone she liked, and who liked her. Then this nurse…
"Hey, now wait a minute!" Rose interjected, fuming now. "We aren't doing anything wrong-"
"Oh yeah?" Abby was screaming now, trying to counter the tears forming in her eyes. "Luka and I -" Unable to finish that sentence, Abby stopped. She was beaten. He hadn't even told the girl that he wasn't single!
Feeling like she'd been punched, wholly overcome and reeling, she followed her instincts to run and hide. Whirling around, she wrenched at the door and sped through, and kept running till the cool night air hit her like a subway train.
**********************************
Thank god for that!
Stepping through the glass doors into the ambulance bay, Carter revelled in the misty night air. He breathed it in, enveloping himself inside the night, trying to leave one hell of a day behind him.
Hearing eccentric, frantic footsteps behind him, he spun around.
Just in time, he found, to catch a mess of dark hair and tears.
Setting her back on her feet and with one hand on her to steady her shaking form, he swept the hair from her face with his refined fingers.
"…Abby?" Tracing the tearstains with his bewildered eyes, he wanted to pull her close, to comfort her, protect her, but he couldn't shake that she wasn't his to protect.
"…you want me to find Luka?" Carter instantly knew that he had said the wrong thing.
She began to shake uncontrollably with emotion, and almost collapsed at his feet. Carter could fight himself no longer. Seeing the girl he treasured in such distress was devastating him. Thankful for his quick reactions, He scooped her up just before she fell to her knees. With one arm clasped to her waist, he held her close to him, wrapping her in his arms and in his heart.
**********************************
Abby barely knew what was happening. The waves of tears were blinding her, and when he mentioned Luka, she felt like she'd had the wind knocked from her, and she could barely breathe. Her legs could no longer hold her weight, and she began to head for the sidewalk.
Suddenly though, she felt fast arms slip around her waist and support her, pull her back to her feet. Enveloped in this new found safety she sensed with him, she felt protected from anything that the world could throw at her.
As Carter softly rocked her from side to side, Abby could feel Carter's warm breath on the top of her head.
He didn't know how long they stood; He may well have stayed there all night, forever if he could. But she was beginning to shiver in the cool night air.
Carter gently muttered "I'll take you home. Make you some food. Yes." It was almost like he was talking to himself. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "We'll go to my place."
Abby raised her head, and looked up into his hazel-brown eyes. She didn't want to let him go.
. He reluctantly released her from his grip, and started to take off his coat.
"What are you doing?" her voice was small and shaky, and cracked at almost every word. She was still close enough for Carter to feel her breathing. It was shallow and frantic, but she was calmer.
"You're shivering…" Carter felt a chill almost as soon as he removed his coat, but she needed it more than he did. He wrapped it around her shoulders.
"But you'll get cold!" Abby made attempts to protest and resist, but found she had little energy to do either. And she was cold.
"How about I make you dinner?" Pulling the coat around her, she took a step back from Carter, and fixed her eyes on his. "…Kay"
He nodded, and they began to walk in silence, homeward bound.
**********************************
"What do you want to eat?" Carter's kitchen was large, well stocked and pristine. Abby lifted herself onto the work surface and swung her legs. He was reluctant to ask about the reason for her tears, afraid he would upset her again. Food seemed a safe topic of conversation, he thought.
"Whatever."
"Ok, how about we get takeaway?"
She shrugged. "'sup to you."
"There's a gateaux in the fridge-"
"-What sort?"
Carter let a small laugh cross his lips.
"Black forest I think"
"…kay"
Carter reached up to get some bowls, but Abby caught his arm.
"You don't know much about comfort eating do you?"
He watched bemused as Abby took the gateau from the fridge, and placed it gently in the centre of Carter's small dining table. Then, to his astonishment she took two forks and stuck them into the centre of the gateaux.
"There."
She was amazing, Carter thought.
She sat at the table and removed one of the forks, along with a large lump of cream and chocolate.
Amused, Carter took the seat opposite her, and followed her lead.
They ate in silence for a while, till almost the entire gateau was gone.
" 'Sgood" Abby mumbled, speaking with her mouth full.
"There doesn't appear to be much left." Carter grinned.
Placing his fork back into the gateau and leaving it there, he dared to ask what he wanted to know.
"You, um, Ok now? What happened?"
She hesitated, then supposing he would find out soon enough, Abby began to talk.
"Luka and I split up." Carter's heart did a little flip.
"Oh – Abby, I'm sorry." He lied.
"What happened?"
"He – I – They –" She couldn't bring herself to say it.
Carter reached across the table and placed his hand upon hers.
"What happened?" He urged her to speak with his eyes. Dropping her fork onto the plate with a ding, she composed herself.
"I caught Luka with someone else, ok?"
She drew her hand away and ran it through her hair. Hearing herself say it out loud, sheer realisation hit her. She had been trying to dismiss it; she didn't want to believe it was possible.
Carter was shocked. He thought Luka was better than that.
Abby stood up and began to roam round his spacious apartment.
"Abby -"
"What, Carter?" She snapped at him. "What? That's all there is."
Carter stood up from the table and began to walk over to her.
She put up a palm "Don't-"
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. They both jumped like a bomb had exploded.
Warily, Carter peered through the spy hole, and saw an agitated Luka standing outside. Confused, he turned and looked at Abby, simply mouthing "It's him"
Carter put the door onto the chain and opened it barely six inches.
"Carter…" Luka sounded tired and exasperated.
"It's late." Carter couldn't believe this guy. He was pissed off!
"Have you seen Abby?"
"No."
"Are you sure? She's not at her apartment."
"I haven't seen her, Ok? It's late; I have an early shift in the morning."
"I'll check with Susan, I suppose"
"Yeah. Goodnight"
"Thanks."
**********************************
Luka sighed as Carter closed the door.
Leaning against it, Luka rubbed his furrowed brow. He felt so bad, and wished he could turn back the clock.
He caught the sound of Carter's muffled voice leaking through the door, followed by a woman's. Frowning, he listened harder. As the woman spoke again, Luka recognised her voice. It was Abby.
**********************************
Carter sighed as he closed the door.
"He's gone."
"Thank you." Abby exhaled "Don't think I could deal with him right -" There was a wild rapping on the door. Abby stopped dead. Carter raised a single finger to his lips and Abby nodded. She hid behind the partition wall, breathing heavily. She had been here before.
Taking tentative steps back to the door, Carter looked again through the spy hole.
He almost fell over backwards as the door shook again from Luka's frantic beating. "Carter! I know she's in there. Let me talk to her!"
Steadying himself, Carter instinctively locked the door.
"She doesn't want to talk to you. Just go home Luka."
"No! I need to explain. Just two minutes! Please."
Carter was shouting now. "Go home Luka! Go home"
Abby sunk to the floor, cradling her swimming head.
"Make him go…" Close to tears, and shaking with fear, Abby called out to Carter. "Please."
Luka caught her timid voice. "Abby? Abby, I'm sorry! I didn't mean -"
Carter was anxious to go to Abby's aid, but afraid to leave the door.
"Go home, Luka, before I call the police…" Carter attempted to sound stern; shouting didn't appear to be having any affect.
Luka knew he could do no more. He couldn't blame Abby for not wanting to see him. He felt awful. "I… Ok, I'll go. Ok."
**********************************
Carter checked he'd left, and then raced to Abby's side.
"It's ok." He gently laid his hand on her shoulder to stop her shaking. "Hey, hey, what's all this? He's gone. He's gone."
"I thought he was going to -"
"Going to what? He's gone" Carter pulled her close.
"I thought he was going to get in and -"
An awkward silence followed. Abby shrugged him off and rose to her feet.
"I have the worst taste in men."
Carter remained on the floor, and watched her pad silently around his living room. "Did he ever…?"
She waved her arms sarcastically, trying to avoid Carter's point.
"Hurt me?"
"- Hit you?" He added quickly. She turned from him, and stared out of the window.
"No."
Carter paused
"Who did?"
"What?" She rounded on him, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
"Who was it that hit you?" Carter stood, and approached her slowly. "Boyfriend?" He stopped, and then ventured "Husband?"
Stunned that Carter could read her so well, she walked to the couch and sat down, resting her head in her hands.
She lied. "No-one"
Carter wasn't convinced. "Abby…" He sat next to her on the couch and sighed. "I just want to understand."
Sighing, she gave up the fight. She didn't have the strength to argue, especially with Carter.
"He was my boyfriend." She shifted uneasily.
"What went wrong?"
"It started with little things. He was always so sorry for what he'd done. He bought me things, out of guilt. Then the violence got worse, and the guilt got less and less." She inhaled sharply, remembering some of the things he did.
"I used to go out to escape it. I ended up in seedy bars drinking until I felt I could go back. He got mad if I stayed out. The drink made the punches less painful."
"Oh Abby." Carter tried to hold her, but she pushed him away.
"Don't." Taking a deep breath, she carried on. "Just let me finish. I got pregnant. I stupidly let myself get pregnant."
She could feel the tears pricking in her eyes, but fought them hard.
Carter was taken aback. So many awful scenarios filled his head.
"I never told him; I was so scared of what he might do. I had an abortion."
He was almost relieved. It could have been much worse.
"I drank more and
more. I became an alcoholic. He put me in the hospital twice. In the end I ran
to a refuge and they found me a place to stay. I gradually stopped drinking,
and moved to Chicago.
I've been sober for a year now, running
for a year and a half."
"My god, I never knew"
"No-one here can know." Her eyes were pleading now. "He'll find me. I changed my name to escape him. Only you and my mom know about this." Abby seemed to be trying to persuade him to keep quiet.
"I'm not going to tell anyone…You didn't tell Luka?"
"…No. and now I'm glad I didn't"
She pulled her feet up under her and sank into the deep cushions. Carter reached out, and this time she didn't push him away.
"Do you want some coffee or something?"
She smiled and sighed. "Coffee would be wonderful."
Carter gently let her go and rose from the couch.
"Sugar?"
"Please"
Carter paced into the kitchen, and began to make the coffee.
**********************************
"Two coffees with sugar. I was thinking, maybe you should…" Carter's voice trailed off to a whisper as he saw Abby.
"Stay here tonight."
She was curled up on the couch, fast asleep.
Placing the coffee cups on the table as softly as possible, he thought about what to do next. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, but she would have one hell of a neck ache tomorrow. Carter smiled.
He bent down and gently slid his arms under her limp form. Hoisting her up, he found she was an incredibly heavy sleeper. She barely twitched. A brass band could hold an impromptu concert next-door and she would never notice. It was probably a good thing, Carter thought.
Carrying her silently through to his bedroom, he softly laid her on the bed and covered her with his duvet. Leaning down, he tenderly kissed her on the forehead.
"Sleep well."
Silently closing the door behind him, he found a blanket and pillow for himself and settled down to sleep on the couch.
**********************************
Abby woke to find she had little idea of where she was.
Ok, Abby, what's going on?
Strange bed.
What happened last night?
Lifting the covers she realised she was still fully clothed.
"Hmm…" What's the last thing you remember, Abby? Coffee?
Yeah, and Carter. Maybe this is Carter's bed.
Throwing back the duvet she swung her legs out and onto a plush blue carpet. Padding through to the kitchen, she saw a tray of breakfast food. There was a single, cut flower in a vase and a note. Picking up the note, she began to read.
Abby, it said, in Carter's angular scrawl.
Made you breakfast. Sorry I'm not there, I had to get to work. If you need a shower or something, bathroom is last door on your left, feel free to use whatever. Hope I see you later,
Carter.
There were two kisses.
Abby said nothing, just smiled, as she munched on a bagel.
Finishing her breakfast, she scouted out the bathroom.
Finding the appropriate door, she took a deep breath.
She had seen guy's bathrooms before. Mostly in college. Eugh, now there's some places she'd never want to go again.
Plucking up the courage to open the door, Abby was pleasantly surprised. It was clean. It was perfect. Spotless even! Baffled, Abby took off her clothes and climbed into the gleaming shower. Turning on the water she gently began to lather up her hair and relax. She started to sing.
"You've already won me over, 'nspite of me, 'n don't be alarmed if I fall………"
"¿qué quieres? no sabes la respuesta, ¿no es así? - no, no la sé!!"
Abby screamed. Pulling the shower curtain around her naked body, she attempted to keep her dignity. Staring at the small round woman practically screaming Spanish at her, Abby's face was pure shock.
A look of realisation crossed the Spaniards Latin features. "Señorita Abby, sí?" She started to smile. Pulling a dark
blue robe from the back of the door, she held it out to Abby.
Who was this? Her eyes then registered the cloth in the woman's other hand. A maid? Carter had a maid! That explained the weird super-tidiness of Carter's flat.
Completely bewildered, Abby placed the shower curtain between her teeth and tentatively reached out to take it from her.
**********************************
Handing the vendor the money for his coffee, Carter warmed his icy hands on the little Dixie cup. He had waited as long as he could to greet Abby when she woke, ask if she needed anything, but he had to get to work.
And he'd forgotten his jacket.
He turned towards the large ambulance bay doors, and headed inside. What should he say to Luka? He wanted to smack the guy, but he wasn't very good at fist fights.
"Is it cold in here, or is it just me?"
"Heating's down. Maintenance says for a few hours at most." Kerry bustled into admin with a less than amicable tone.
"A few hours?!?" Carter was indignant.
"And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Susan wanted some kind of answer, but Kerry shrugged and dodged the question.
"Kovac called in sick-"
"Son-of-a-" Carter muttered.
Kerry shot him a displeased look, but chose to leave it.
"-Greene is covering for him. He should be here in about half an hour."
"Dr Greene?" If he'd been listening, Carter would have caught the hint of concern that escaped in Susan's words. He was too lost in the fact that Luka had taken the shift off!
Jeez, who did this guy think he was?
Without thinking, he slammed his fist onto the Admin desk.
A hollow thud echoed throughout the ER, and everyone turned to look at him.
"Jerry, are the labs back on Mrs Robinson?"
"Uh, yeah, Dr Carter, here…"
"Thanks." With that, Carter strode off to Exam 3 under his own black cloud, many pairs of eyes burning holes in his back.
**********************************
Walking along the icy sidewalk, head down, Abby headed to her own apartment.
She didn't want to be
at Carter's when he got home, though she'd stayed
most of the day.
Lifting her sleeve, she checked her watch. Almost 10. She guessed he'd be home by now, reading her note. It had taken her almost an hour to compose it, but she had to get her thoughts in order.
'Carter' it read. 'I'll call you.
Thanks, Abby'
Then she had added three kisses.
'PS. I borrowed your jacket.'
Truth was, the warm
scent of the jacket made her feel protected, like
she felt with Carter.
She wanted to take a little piece of that home with her.
Climbing the stairs to her apartment, she fumbled in her pants pocket for her keys. The sleeves of the jacket were too long and got in the way. Turning the key in the lock, she sighed, and pushed open the door.
As she turned to close it, a foot jammed into the gap.
