Unforgivable
Chapter Four: Nightmares, Nicknames, and Nothingness
Sleep was a bad thing, a curse word. It was a dark time of monsters that lurked in the shadows, waiting to leap at the unwary victim.
Monsters like himself.
He was in the Shreiking Shack, waiting to see if the others - what others? He was the wolf. He was a solitary hunter. There were no others - waiting to see if they could come. Come! I shall tear them, I shall rip them, I shall bite and feel the sweet blood run in my mouth, I shall taste their taste and hold to it, remember it, kill -
Movement! Movement at the entrance of the tunnel. He slunk warily over. Was it danger? Was it prey, perhaps, waiting for him to rip?
A boy, dark-haired, shivering, wearing black robes. Human! Kill the human!
Inside of him, the voices cried, the overwhelming cries of Kill and the soft, forgotten, ignored weeping of No! No! No!
The boy's eyes had fallen on him! He was watching his killer, watching the wolf who was ready to leap -
With a start, and a cry, the wolf-boy woke alone and wept.
_-_-_
Sleep was welcome if it would take away the numbness.
Regulus Black sat on the bed, his brother's bed, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them, shaking.
It had been years since he had cried, much less in front of adults. They had cried out when Sirius had leapt out the window, angry and startled. The man called Earl had turned to the screaming boy at the window and asked him harshly if he had known that his brother had been an unregistered Animagus. But Regulus had not known. Sirius had not told him. Sirius had not told him anything really in years.
Regulus held his own wand. He could return to school next year and finish it with the class under his current one. For now, what mattered was his brother.
He got a quill, and parchment, and ink, and started to write.
_-_-_
The two of them didn't see the headline until the evening.
SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES DMLE OFFICIALS
James stole the paper instead of buying it because he had no time, despite Peter's nervousness about doing so. He read the article aloud as soon as they left Diagon Alley.
"Sirius Black, recently expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, today escaped officials from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at his parents' home using a transgression that until that point, no one had discovered.
"Sirius Black is an unregistered Animagus - he can turn into a very large black dog. According to the DMLE officials, it has ice-blue eyes. When the officials attempted to arrest him for multiple charges, he transformed and leapt through a window, bounding away to destinations unknown.
"If anyone finds this dog, or sees Sirius Black, they are urged to take action immediately. Mr. Black's wand has been snapped and he will be unable to perform magic.
"Mr. Black was expelled when he was responsible for the death of another student, Severus Snape. Since then, DMLE officials have discovered that there is reason to believe that he also abused his brother Regulus.
"Cepheus and Casseopeia Black insist that they had no idea their son was an Animagus. They expressed their disgust at his actions and say that when he is found, they will not be providing him with support to defend himself.
As of yet, the only sighting of 'a big black dog' occurred six miles north of London."
James looked up at Peter in consternation.
"We've got to find him," Peter whispered, "before they do, James."
"I thought we were going to look for Remus," James shot back, his voice suddenly angry.
"We have no idea where he could be," Peter said pointedly, "and right now, Sirius is in big trouble."
_-_-_
Minerva McGonagall could not remember being more furious and helpless in her life.
Upon finding out that Sirius Black was an unregistered Animagus - such a thing was impossible at his age, impossible! - she had stormed to Gryffindor Tower, searching for Potter and Pettigrew, who although subdued had stayed at school. Potter was still getting top marks in Transfiguration, and to her surprise and delight, he had actually started to be civil. She had actually waited until after lunch, but neither boy had been there, and she decided that they had been raiding the kitchens - again! - and headed to find them.
But she had found Gryffindor Tower devoid of any sign of them. And when she had sent a fourth year up to the dormitory, it was to find that both boys' beds were neat, and many of their things were gone.
She had to restrain herself from starting to curse.
She headed immediately to the Headmaster with the information that the boys were gone, but Dumbledore, somehow, already knew.
This was just typical.
_-_-_
He stole a newspaper that evening, having scavenged around for a Prophet for hours before that point. The headline caught his attention, and left him cursing silently and running down the street, away.
He slept as Padfoot in a dark alleyway, uncomfortable but glad for anything but the despicable silk sheets of the Black family. When he woke up, he had a plan.
By afternoon, he was in the countryside as Sirius, walking down a country road towards the nearest house - a Muggle one where he certainly would not be recognized. Who cared about the International Statute of Secrecy? What did it matter? Once he was caught, he'd be charged as an adult and sent to Azkaban, and when that happened he was sure he would die. There was no question about it - dementors took him to dark corners, and he could not live there. He would die there instead.
He became Padfoot and pretended to limp when he got close enough, and to his delight, a Muggle girl of perhaps eleven came running up to him, all ohyoupoorthing and Mummylookit'sadoggie and canwekeepitMummyplease?
Within an hour, he had been dubbed "Snuffles" and the girl's older brother, about Sirius' own age, had snuck him half a slice of pizza, which he devoured at once.
The children were Ellestacia and Duncan, and Sirius had gotten to almost like them. He wondered vaguely whether he could stay here, safe from the Ministry, but the thought of being a dog forever made his stomach twist. A few days, he decided, and then. . .
Chapter Four: Nightmares, Nicknames, and Nothingness
Sleep was a bad thing, a curse word. It was a dark time of monsters that lurked in the shadows, waiting to leap at the unwary victim.
Monsters like himself.
He was in the Shreiking Shack, waiting to see if the others - what others? He was the wolf. He was a solitary hunter. There were no others - waiting to see if they could come. Come! I shall tear them, I shall rip them, I shall bite and feel the sweet blood run in my mouth, I shall taste their taste and hold to it, remember it, kill -
Movement! Movement at the entrance of the tunnel. He slunk warily over. Was it danger? Was it prey, perhaps, waiting for him to rip?
A boy, dark-haired, shivering, wearing black robes. Human! Kill the human!
Inside of him, the voices cried, the overwhelming cries of Kill and the soft, forgotten, ignored weeping of No! No! No!
The boy's eyes had fallen on him! He was watching his killer, watching the wolf who was ready to leap -
With a start, and a cry, the wolf-boy woke alone and wept.
_-_-_
Sleep was welcome if it would take away the numbness.
Regulus Black sat on the bed, his brother's bed, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them, shaking.
It had been years since he had cried, much less in front of adults. They had cried out when Sirius had leapt out the window, angry and startled. The man called Earl had turned to the screaming boy at the window and asked him harshly if he had known that his brother had been an unregistered Animagus. But Regulus had not known. Sirius had not told him. Sirius had not told him anything really in years.
Regulus held his own wand. He could return to school next year and finish it with the class under his current one. For now, what mattered was his brother.
He got a quill, and parchment, and ink, and started to write.
_-_-_
The two of them didn't see the headline until the evening.
SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES DMLE OFFICIALS
James stole the paper instead of buying it because he had no time, despite Peter's nervousness about doing so. He read the article aloud as soon as they left Diagon Alley.
"Sirius Black, recently expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, today escaped officials from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at his parents' home using a transgression that until that point, no one had discovered.
"Sirius Black is an unregistered Animagus - he can turn into a very large black dog. According to the DMLE officials, it has ice-blue eyes. When the officials attempted to arrest him for multiple charges, he transformed and leapt through a window, bounding away to destinations unknown.
"If anyone finds this dog, or sees Sirius Black, they are urged to take action immediately. Mr. Black's wand has been snapped and he will be unable to perform magic.
"Mr. Black was expelled when he was responsible for the death of another student, Severus Snape. Since then, DMLE officials have discovered that there is reason to believe that he also abused his brother Regulus.
"Cepheus and Casseopeia Black insist that they had no idea their son was an Animagus. They expressed their disgust at his actions and say that when he is found, they will not be providing him with support to defend himself.
As of yet, the only sighting of 'a big black dog' occurred six miles north of London."
James looked up at Peter in consternation.
"We've got to find him," Peter whispered, "before they do, James."
"I thought we were going to look for Remus," James shot back, his voice suddenly angry.
"We have no idea where he could be," Peter said pointedly, "and right now, Sirius is in big trouble."
_-_-_
Minerva McGonagall could not remember being more furious and helpless in her life.
Upon finding out that Sirius Black was an unregistered Animagus - such a thing was impossible at his age, impossible! - she had stormed to Gryffindor Tower, searching for Potter and Pettigrew, who although subdued had stayed at school. Potter was still getting top marks in Transfiguration, and to her surprise and delight, he had actually started to be civil. She had actually waited until after lunch, but neither boy had been there, and she decided that they had been raiding the kitchens - again! - and headed to find them.
But she had found Gryffindor Tower devoid of any sign of them. And when she had sent a fourth year up to the dormitory, it was to find that both boys' beds were neat, and many of their things were gone.
She had to restrain herself from starting to curse.
She headed immediately to the Headmaster with the information that the boys were gone, but Dumbledore, somehow, already knew.
This was just typical.
_-_-_
He stole a newspaper that evening, having scavenged around for a Prophet for hours before that point. The headline caught his attention, and left him cursing silently and running down the street, away.
He slept as Padfoot in a dark alleyway, uncomfortable but glad for anything but the despicable silk sheets of the Black family. When he woke up, he had a plan.
By afternoon, he was in the countryside as Sirius, walking down a country road towards the nearest house - a Muggle one where he certainly would not be recognized. Who cared about the International Statute of Secrecy? What did it matter? Once he was caught, he'd be charged as an adult and sent to Azkaban, and when that happened he was sure he would die. There was no question about it - dementors took him to dark corners, and he could not live there. He would die there instead.
He became Padfoot and pretended to limp when he got close enough, and to his delight, a Muggle girl of perhaps eleven came running up to him, all ohyoupoorthing and Mummylookit'sadoggie and canwekeepitMummyplease?
Within an hour, he had been dubbed "Snuffles" and the girl's older brother, about Sirius' own age, had snuck him half a slice of pizza, which he devoured at once.
The children were Ellestacia and Duncan, and Sirius had gotten to almost like them. He wondered vaguely whether he could stay here, safe from the Ministry, but the thought of being a dog forever made his stomach twist. A few days, he decided, and then. . .
