Unforgivable

Chapter Five: Purpose, Plan, and Panic

Sirius - Padfoot - Snuffles stayed for three days at the countryside home before the opportunity opened.

The family left to go to town and faithful Snuffles was left behind. He felt only a trace of guilt when he transformed back into Sirius and moved about the house to all the places he had discovered things of value were.

He put the money and anything worthwhile that fit in his pockets, changed back into Padfoot, and left.

He ran alongside the dirt road, headed west.

After a while, he found a house with an open window, and started to bark.

There was no response from inside, and after a few moments, he decided it would be safe enough.

He took several steps back, then ran forward, gathering his body and leaping -

He landed hard on the floor of the kitchen, from the decorations obviously of an older woman who wasn't too well off in the world. A pie was cooling on the table, and Sirius couldn't help himself. He hadn't eaten properly for days - he changed back into himself and searched through the drawers until he found a fork.

The pie was halfway obliterated before he stopped and looked around again.

As it had been accustomed to doing, the situation hit him again - I'm a murderer, Remus, James, Peter, I'm a killer, what I've done is unforgivable, I'm a criminal, I - but he had nothing more to lose.

He moved silently into the next room, and received an enormous electric shock when he saw the woman sitting in a chair, knitting, apparantly unaware that he was there -

And he realized suddenly, looking around the room and back at the woman in panic, surveying his situation, that the woman was deaf.

He started to back away, but she looked up. Her eyes went wide, and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you -" he began, but then realized it was probably useless.

But he had underestimated the woman. In a slightly slurred and very monotonous voice, she said, "How do I know that? What are you doing here?"

Not only could she speak, she could read lips. Clever, she was.

"I'm sorry, I - I was starving, I broke in to find some food."

She eyed him. "You ate the pie, didn't you?" He was sure that under normal circumstances, her voice would have been amused but accusing.

He nodded.

She shook her head, exasparation in her eyes. "Well, most of it," he amended. She shrugged.

In her strange voice, she said slowly, "You're Sirius Black, aren't you?"

He gave a violent start and stared at her.

"Are you a - a -"

She smiled and nodded, producing a wand. "Just because I'm deaf doesn't mean I'm useless."

Feeling bad, Sirius started to say, "I never said -"

"Oh, it's fine. I read about you in the paper. The IProphetI. Useless posh, most of it. But part of that article about you was the truth."

"Then why aren't you calling me in?"

"Oh," she said dismissively, "I will, I'm just going to wait until you've had a proper chance to get away." She smiled again. "I'm a Seer. I've actually been expecting you, or someone quite like you, in any case." Her dull voice took on an edge, to his surprise, but then, he supposed, perhaps magic allowed her some use of her voice that Muggle deaf people couldn't have, or something like that. "You aren't as bad as they want us to think. It wasn't quite an accident, was it? But you didn't mean him to die. Goodness, no. You aren't a good boy, but you aren't bad, either. I'm almost sorry I'm going to call you in. Go on, then. Go eat some more of my pie. Then go, and I'll wait until you're a while gone to call them. I'll give you time to get away, and if you deserve that time you'll succeed."

Dumbfounded, Sirius said quietly, "Why?"

"Why?" He nodded. "Because you're still young, and reckless, and you deserve a chance to be that way. And because of other things, which I really can't tell you. I'd better not say any more. Go eat. Raid my refrigerator. And then go."

"Thank you," he said numbly, and did as she told him to.

When he thought he had run for long enough and his feet were very sore, Sirius wondered whether he had dreamed it. But he could still taste the black caps.