Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, I just own the plot. The characters belong to the goddess known as JK Rowling, not sad sad me. I make absolutely no money from this, which is exactly why I'm writing this. No money = no life. Sad but true.
Also, this fic has Harry and Ron slash, though it's not very prominent I know some people could be offended. So don't read this if you're one of the people that would be offended. Common sense. Also, I would love feed back, please please please!!
I Am a Rat, and I Deserve this Life
"Harry, do you really think we should be doing this in front of him?" I hear Ron whisper. "In front of who?" Harry asks Ron between kisses. "Scabbers!" "Ron, he's a rat." "He was my brother's rat! Maybe they have some kind of connection!" "Ron, please." Harry said before kissing Ron deeply.
I wish I could kiss someone like that. I wish I could kiss anyone. But, who can I kiss? I'm a rat, I'm a traitor, I'm dead. Or, rather, I'm supposed to be dead. I wish I could feel love again, I wish someone would hold me, and whisper things into my ear, things only fit for me to hear. I wish I could be known as something other than Ron's stupid pet rat, but that's who I am. That's who I've always been. The stupid side kick. Stupid Peter, stupid Scabbers.
The curtains around Ron's bed are drawn, and I hear his and Harry's moans of love making and I yearn for it. You can't exactly have sex as a rat, it's just not the same. No one is screaming out your name in euphoria, or telling you that they love you over and over. It's just random squeaking, nothing intimate, it's just a fuck, no love making. It's just a rat fuck. I've been reduced to having sex with rats, but I am a rat, I deserve this life.
Who have a betrayed? I need more than my fingers and my toes to count on. I killed my best friends. I sent Sirius to Azkaban. I sent Remus into a downward spiral of depression. Poor precious Remus. He could never understand why Sirius betrayed James and Lily, or why he would kill 13 muggles. Remus misses Sirius with every fiber in his being, he yearns for Sirius's touch, for Sirius's voice to tell him that he loves him, that everything will be all right. He wants Padfoot and Prongs to run with him in the woods. He doesn't want to live alone anymore. I essentially have killed Remus Lupin, it's because of me that his soul has darkened. I deserve this life.
I took away the parents of a boy who has never felt real love, I took away the man who is the next best thing, I almost took away his life. It was because of me the famous Harry Potter almost died. Because of me his parents are gone. Because of me that Sirius Black is rotting away in Azkaban. It is because of me, that I live this life. And I live this life because of him. Because of Voldemort.
I was supposed to have fame, and women, and friends, and money, and love. I was supposed to have love! I wanted friends! That's all I ever wanted I now realize. I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be smart like Remus, or good at Quidditch like James. I wanted to be as popular as Sirius. But I wasn't. I was sad little Peter, the stupid side kick. The one the rest of the Marauders took pity on. But, then, I met Lord Voldemort, and he promised me everything. I was going to be loved, I was going to have women, and friends, and money. I was going to be something more than sad little Peter. I was going to be something more than a stupid little side kick.
But, now, as I sit here, and listen to Harry and Ron whisper things to each other in the after glow of wonderful sex, I realize I am less than a side kick. I am a rat, and I deserve this life.
