Don't Tell Daddy
Based on the song "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret
[we see a seedy, 1930's-esque nightclub, located somewhere in Germany;
Munich or Berlin. We are looking at the interior, which is a dimly-lit
room complete with tables and chairs, a bar, and, of course, a stage. This
is a large, luxurious stage, thick red curtains with gold tassels, large
spotlights, the works. Kurt is center stage, in his true-blue 'natural'
form, wearing a tuxedo and holding a microphone. His tie is slightly
crooked.]

KURT
And now, meine damen and herren, mesdames et messieurs, ladies and
gentlemen - the Mutant Club is proud to present to you a most talented
young lady from America (ja, America)! I give you - and don't forget to
give her back when you're finished with her - the Toast of Bayville,
Fraulein Wanda Maximoff! Isn't she beautiful? And she is hot, hot, hot!
[Kurt exits, and Wanda enters, accompanied by music, applause, and a bunch
of other girls; Kitty, Tabitha, Rogue, Rahne, and a girl that we do not
know. She has curly brown hair. They are all wearing skimpy red outfits
and fishnet stockings.]

WANDA
Daddy thinks I'm still in an asylum
A spooky form of lock-up
In the southern part of France
Daddy doesn't even have an inkling
That I'm working in a nightclub
In a pair of lacey pants
So please, sir, if you run into my father
Don't reveal my indiscretions
Give a working girl a chance
[the music picks up]
So hush up!
Don't tell Daddy!
Shush up!
Don't tell Daddy
Don't tell Daddy, whatever you do
If you had a secret, you bet I would keep it
I would never tell on you

ROGUE
She's breaking every promise that she gave him
So won't you kindly do this gal a great big favor?
And please my sweet patater
Keep this from said pater
Though this dance is not against the law

WANDA
You can tell my stalker, that's all right
He gets thrown out every other night
[we see Todd being dragged from the room by Fred]

TODD
Aw, man!

WANDA
But don't tell Daddy what you saw!

KITTY, ROGUE, RAHNE
Daddy thinks we're on a tour of Europe
With a couple of our school-chums
And a lady chaperone
TABITHA [waving at Jean]
There she is! Hi, Jean!

TABITHA, KITTY, ROGUE, RAHNE
Daddy doesn't even have an inkling
That we left her back in Antwerp
And we're touring on our own

WANDA
So please sir, if you run into my father
Don't reveal my indiscretions
Just leave well enough alone

ALL
Hush up!
Don't tell Daddy!
Shush up!
Don't tell Daddy!
Don't tell Daddy, whatever you do!

WANDA
If you had a secret you bet I would keep it

ALL
I would never tell on you!

WANDA & MYSTERY GIRL
You wouldn't want to get me in a pickle
And have him go and cut me off without a nickel

ALL
So let's trust one another
And keep this from my father
Though I'm still as pure as morning snow!
ROGUE [pointing to Rahne]
You can tell my room-mate here and now
She's my agent, anyhow

ALL
But don't tell Daddy what you know

TABITHA
You can tell Kit's boyfriend
They might fight
Because now he's working my spotlight

KITTY
Lance!

ALL
But don't tell Daddy what you know

WANDA
You can tell my brother
That ain't grim
If he squeals on me, I'll squeal on him
[she grabs Mystery Girl by the hair and gives her curls a quick tug . . .
and a curly brown wig falls off of Pietro's head. He waves.]

ALL
So don't tell Daddy, mister
Don't tell Daddy, please sir
Don't tell Daddy what you know!
Ssh . . .
Ssh . . .

WANDA & PIETRO
If you see my Daddy, run for your life!
[applause; Kurt re-enters.]

KURT
Wanda Maximoff! Thank you, Wanda! Isn't she beautiful? And she is hot,
hot, hot! And thank you Kitty, Tabby, Rogue, Rahne, and Pietro!
[they exit and the lights go down.]