In Hog~Rid's Hut
Beautiful, absolutely marvelous Dog. I don't think I could have done better myself. My tail swishes back and forth as I sit nicely up in a tree, taunting Dog for this latest venture to kill Rat. Whatever Run may say, that bloody, stupid, foul, disgusting creature is still alive. That will change.
Dog jumps up, trying to take a snap at me.
You will have to try harder, Dogbreath. I shout down. A snow white owl, Furry's, shoots past my head. Must be coming from Hog~Rid's hut. I'll be back. I jump down, and follow it back to the Castle.
Where are you going? Dog shouts after me.
Curiosity killed the cat, and I'm not dead yet. I head to the Food Hall.
They are eating breakfast. ToadBoy got a RedLetter. Those things are dangerous. I scan down my table. Ah, there is Purr~My~Knee, eating by herself, I should go and comfort her… There's Furry's owl, and Furry, and little sidekick Run. I jump up onto Purr~My~Knee's lap, poke my head above the table and try to read the letter. No luck. Damn.
So I spend my day tailing Purr~My~Knee like some common dog. Amazing what one has to stoop to to find out what is going on in this school. After a catnap in the Plant Houses, we head over to Hog~Rid's hut. Purr~My~Knee buries herself in her books. I find myself a nice vantage point from atop a cupboard, and wait. Hog~Rid talks some with Purr~My~Knee, then leaves.
Purr~My~Knee returns to her books. Hog~Rid returns to his hut. With Run and Furry. They take no notice of us. Stupid monkeys. Hog~Rid tries to tell them to be kind to Purr~My~Knee. No luck. Mentions the broom (which I helped order, thank you very much) and the Rat. Can't believe how attached to it Run is.
"Really upset, she was, when Black nearly stabbed yeh, Ron." Bloody flaming tuna fish! Hog~Rid, I thought you had more sense then that. Dog was trying to kill the stupid Rat, not Run. He'd never hurt Run, not on purpose at least. AND I DID NOT EAT THAT RAT!!! I'D NEVER EAT SOMETHING THAT VILE! "She's got her heart in the right place, Hermione has, an' you two not talkin' to her –" You would've deserved it if Dog stabbed you. At least Purr~My~Knee was kind enough to take me in, and give me food. She has her senses. Run! I am not a maniac! Stupid monkey.
Purr~My~Knee speaks, threatening to tell CatLady about the Map. 'Bout time you stopped hiding behind your books Purr~My~Knee. Run and Furry might forget you exist if you keep that up. The humans argue some more.
"So now you're trying to get Harry expelled!" Run yells. "Haven't you done enough damage this year?"
That's enough talk from you Run. I leap onto Purr~My~Knee's lap, and give Run a good soft hiss, warning him to lay off, before I need to take out my claws. Purr~My~Knees stares up and Run, then picks me up. We head up to the Tower.
She drops me down on my bed. Sits down, and cries. I can't stand it when humans cry, they sound so pitiful. I mew, nuzzle up to her face, and try to comfort her, no luck. "Oh, Crookshanks, I was so worried about him. And for nothing. He's such a jerk."
Stupid Run. I agree, forgetting she can't hear me.
"And now I've gone crazy, talking to a cat." Gee, thanks.
