A/N: Sorry for the long delay! Next chapter might take a while.

2001

Buffybot hummed happily. Tara was teaching her how to make pancakes today. And she was doing a pretty good job.

"Bottie! They're burning again!" The blond witch yelped, turning off the stove and rushing to put the now-acrid contents under a stream of cold water in the sink.

Buffybot gave her a dazzling smile, completely unfazed. "Should I try again?"

Tara gave her a pained smile. "Maybe later. Why don't you go help Willow?"

Buffybot nodded happily, eager to get onto a new task. Maybe Willow would let her do laundry again.

FLASH!

Buffy looked around, sighing happily. At least this time she had gotten out of having to talk to principal Snyder. It was amazing what sorts of people they let be principals in these days. Weren't "principals" supposed to be "pals"?

"Buffy! You're back," Dawn said happily, on her way down the stairs. "How've you been?"

Before the Slayer could answer, she found herself being literally dragged up the steps.

"There's some juicy stuff you need to hear."

1997

"The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight- starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting."

Buffybot stared quizzically at the small, rat-like man. There was something instinctively repulsive about him, but of course Buffybot was unfazed.

"What does the winner get?" the bored-looking girl next to her asked, popping her gum.

"Expelled."

Buffybot frowned. This wasn't a very nice man.

"Thursday is Parent-Teacher night. Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your teachers, assuming you have any left. I've decided to put the two of you in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my good will. And may affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?"

"You're not a very nice man," Buffybot announced, still frowning. "Willow says I have to be nice to everybody, though, even those I don't like."

The other girl gave a low whistle.

The small rat-like man stared at her in disbelief. "What did you say, Miss Summers?"

Buffybot gave him a dazzling smile. "I'm clear."

Snyder blinked, then shook his head. "Good. Because you mess up this time, and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers. Now get out, both of you. Shoo."

Buffybot gave another dazzling smile, then walked out, followed by Sheila.

"Hi, I'm Buffy. Who are you? And who was that repulsive little man?"

Sheila just gave her a long look. "Whatever you're smoking—"

"Hey," Willow called out, jogging up to meet her friend. Xander followed close behind, his eyes lingering on certain parts of Buffybot's anatomy before he remembered the disastrous results at the Bronze the other day.

"Hey, meatpie!" Sheila yelled, before jogging off. She wrapped herself around an older guy with long hair and began snogging.

Buffybot, Xander, and Willow quickly averted their eyes.

"Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?" Xander asked.

Buffybot gave him a strange look. "What party?"

Willow shrugged. "Don't worry. No one gets Xander's jokes."

"Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she can bring home to Mother," Xander said, ignoring her comment.

"She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her," Willow said almost proudly.

"You're bad to the bone," Xander commented dryly.

"I'm a rebel," Willow agreed.

Buffybot watched the exchange with confusion.

"Smoking is bad," she said helpfully. "Unless you're Spike, of course. He's the Big Bad!"

Willow frowned. "Buffy, there you go again. Who's Spike?" She playfully smacked her on the arm. "Your new boyfriend?"

Buffy gave a dazzling grin. "Spike is the sexiest, baddest, smartest, most gorgeous, coolest, sweetest—"

"We get the idea," Xander said wryly. "But who exactly is this guy?"

Buffy gave another brilliant smile and sighed dreamily. "He's my boyfriend." Then her smile dimmed a little. "But I think he's been avoiding me recently. I think he likes the other Buffy better," she pouted.

Willow frowned. "Other Buffy? What do you mean?"

But Buffybot was already gone.

2001

"He said that?" Buffy asked, blushing to the very roots of her hair.

Dawn giggled, spooning some more chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream into her mouth. "That and much more."

By the end of their conversation, Buffy was a beet. But a glowing beet with the widest smile anyone had ever seen on Buffy's face.

"So are you guys going to get together or something?" Dawn asked happily, before her face fell, the implications sinking in. They couldn't be together, not the undead vampire with a crush on her dead sister and the younger version of said dead sister who kept flashing between two different times. Too much confusion…

Buffy shrugged, feeling sad. Spike was the sweetest guy she had ever met. Sure, she thought she had a thing going with Angel for a while, but he was just so…broody. So tall, dark, and mysterious. All "I'm dark and brooding so give me love." Too wimpy. And his hair stood straight up, now that she thought of it. And she sure didn't spot him hanging around Sunnydale in her future. According to Dawn, he was off in LA with Cordelia, of all people. She knew that they had always had a thing for each other.

But Spike was so different. A bad boy on the outside, a total softy on the inside. So easily swayed to participate in manicures, with just a few well-timed pouts. And so very sweet and sensitive, once you got to know him. Such adorable blue eyes, such a sexy accent. Not to mention that really cool hair and cheekbones to die for...

5'10" of major crush-worthy material. But she couldn't have him, right? They were from different times, different places…

Wait a minute. Did that mean she'd meet him someday? Someday in her own future, a future that was already past? Buffy suddenly couldn't wait to have this spell broken once and for all. For a chance to know her Spike, the one she could have.

Buffy blushed. Such thoughts! He wasn't even—

"'Ello."

The blush burned even brighter. Her heart thumped faster and faster.

"Hey," Dawn greeted with a cheerful smile, giving her a nudge.

"Hi, Spike," Buffy squeaked, causing the younger girl to convulse in a fit of giggles.

The vampire gave the two girls strange looks.

"Right…"

1997

Buffybot looked quizzically at Buffy's notebook. The words on it made no sense.

"La vache doit me touche de la jeudi?" she asked Willow. "System error, unable to process."

The redhead gave her friend a funny look. "'The cow should touch me from Thursday.' And you said it wrong. Buffy, are you okay? Sure the Bronze is a good idea?"

Buffybot gave her a wide smile. "Oh, yes! I need to communicate and interact with human beings! I must mingle with society and act like a perfectly normal 16-year-old girl."

Willow's look turned to one of pity. "Aw, Buffy, you're trying too hard. You're just not focused. It's Angel miss-age."

Buffybot frowned. "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up and he's bloody stupid."

"Ooo-kay. So maybe not Angel miss-age." Willow glanced around conspiratorially. "Listen, Buff, I know you've got a new guy. Who is he? In our grade, our school? Do I know him?"

Buffybot frowned. "Too many questions. I am unable to process and answer all of them at once."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Buffy! Stop beating around the—"

"Guys, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me."

Willow jumped guiltily. "W-well, we are studying," she pointed out.

"C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes."

Buffybot smiled happily and got up, helping Xander drag Willow out of her seat before she could begin to protest. Dancing was good. As long as Xander didn't try to touch her inappropriately. Willow too, for that matter.

I did a stupid thing last night.

I called you--

A moment of weakness.

No, not a moment—

More like three months of weakness…

Buffybot danced to the music, swaying to the beat. She felt something a little strange, like a part of her program that had been partially deactivated was sending her main system a message. A fragmented message that Willow had disabled from being fully broadcast during her last service.

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees,

One step away from spilling my guts to you.

I'm doing all right.

No, don't feel sorry for me—

Really I'm all right.

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees…

"Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody."

Willow's eyes widened, as did Xander's. They turned to their friend, waiting for her to rush out into the night. But Buffybot was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what her built-in tracking device was telling her.

"Buffy," Willow hissed. "Vampire, outside!"

Buffybot blinked. "Oh, yes! Creatures of the night, beware! Buffy the Vampire Slayer is here!"

She strode out, very confused friends trailing behind.

Outside in the alley, Buffybot saw a vampire with a girl. He grabbed her neck and leaned close—

Buffybot grabbed his shoulder and pulled him off, effectively tossing him against a Dumpster. "Hey! It's not nice to bite people. Willow said so."

"Slayer!" the vampire growled, leaping to his feet and coming towards her.

"Slayee!" Buffybot replied with a bright smile. She landed a roundhouse kick to his face, but he only flinched, swinging at her. Buffybot sidestepped the blow, swinging her fist back at him.

He grabbed her arm, swinging her around and throwing her into a metal roll-up door, expecting a few moments leverage. No such luck.

She hit hard, but turned the fall downwards into a leap, landing on her feet. He punched her again, but she caught his fist.

The vampire screamed in pain as his hand was slowly crushed.

Just then, Xander and Willow arrived.

Buffybot let go of his bloody, mangled hand and waved cheerfully to her friends. "Hi, friends of mine!"

During the lull in her attack, the vamp landed a surprise hit to the back of her head. Momentarily dazed with a sudden override in all her systems and thus a temporary overload in her sensory capabilities, Buffybot went down hard, staring up at the vampire blankly.

"I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine!"

He leaned in for the bite. At which point the Slayer smiled widely and grabbed his neck with both hands.

"I'm Buffy. And you're history!" She tore the surprised vamp's head off.

Clapping. Willow and Xander stared in the direction the sound came from, utterly confused.

"Nice work, luv." A man with slicked-back, bleached hair in a long, leather trench coat stepped out, a cold smile on his face.

Buffybot beamed. "Spike! I-I want to hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body. Oh, Spike, ravish me!" She practically threw herself at him.

The blond vampire's eyes widened and he took a few steps back.

"Oh, so that's Mr. Mystery Guy," Willow remarked. "Your new boyfriend?" she asked Buffybot innocuously. Xander, meanwhile, was just looking confused.

"Spike, don't you want me?" Buffybot whimpered, putting on her best "pouty" face.

The vampire's expression merely became more confused, with a slight edge of sheer terror. He began to slowly inch away. "Slayer, you're bloody crazy," he finally managed to croak. "I've never seen you in my sodding life. I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about, or how you even know my na—"

He was cut off when Buffybot jumped on him, whipping out a stake and pressing it against his chest.

Realization that he had been a total fool swept across his face. Spike was mad. And also, majorly relieved. Better outsmarted and staked by a Slayer and have it all been just a ruse than…than…

"Are you gonna do it that way?" He forced himself to say. "Not even give a bloke a chance to fight back—"

"No," Buffybot interrupted with a grin. She threw off his duster and tore his shirt in half, pressing the hard tip of her stake above his heart. "This way."

Spike groaned mentally. This was some sadistic bitch of a Slayer. Pure evil. First get him so confused and terrified that he couldn't think straight. Then, jump and attack when he was vulnerable. He couldn't even move under her iron grip. Now, she couldn't even let him die with what dignity he had left. At least vampires couldn't blush.

"Do it already," he gritted out.

"I could never do it." She dropped the stake. "I'm helpless against you, you fiend." She snuggled up and his chest. "Darn your sinister attraction."

"ARRRGH!"

He summoned all his strength and managed to push the loony Slayer off. Rolling to his feet, Spike grabbed his prized coat and scrambled away as fast as he could.

Beyond humiliated, the vampire paused and looked back in the direction from where he had fled.

That little bitch was beyond infuriating. Searing his nerves with hot pokers. He could imagine her laughing with her friends over the events that had just passed. Murderous rage mingled with the shame and humiliation he felt.

"Just wait until Saturday, bitch. You're gonna die."