A/N: I'm running a little low on inspiration for this right now. So here's what I have so far; I promise to continue ASAP!
2001
"Parent-Teacher Night?" Spike repeated, looking a little bemused. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
Willow winced. "Uh, remember, the fall of '97, week before St. Vigeous…"
"Oh." His eyes widened. "Bollocks!"
Buffy watched this exchange with growing confusion. "Uh…time out for a sec. What are you talking about? St. Veggie, blah, blah, Parent-Teacher Night, blah, blah. Huh?"
Willow cringed. "It's St. Vigeous, although I don't think he was ever canonized by the Catholic Church…anyways, uh, you see, there was…um, an incident. A couple of years back. Sophomore year, high school. On, uh…Parent-Teacher Night."
"What happened?"
"Gang of vampires tried to kill everyone in the school?" Willow suggested.
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Okay…"
"Uh, I showed up in town. Tried to kill you. Funny story, really."
The vampire's nostalgic smile died away as the two girls glared at him. "What? Those were good times."
Willow rolled her eyes and turned to the nervous blond Slayer.
"Point is, I don't think what's supposed to happen, happened. Not exactly. Bottie—our Buffy—must've messed some stuff up."
Meanwhile, Buffy had just began to process what Spike had said earlier. His past self was in Sunnydale. And he was trying to kill her…
"Oh my God!" Buffy yelped, clapping her hands to her mouth, staring at the vampire in horror. "That wasn't you! Well, yeah, but not really…oh crap! I can't believe I was straddling a total stranger in the cemetery—"
"Wait a bloody minute. You were straddling—"
Buffy covered her face with her hands, utterly mortified. "Oh, God!"
1997
"What can I say? I couldn't wait."
She couldn't wait, either. Buffybot felt a surge of happiness that almost overloaded her circuits. She knew it! She'd always known that Spike had never truly stopped returning her affections; he'd merely been waiting for the right time to "shag her senseless," as he so eloquently once put it.
With a happy squeal, she launched herself at him—and was intercepted by two ugly minions.
"Vampires of the world beware," she yelled, kicking one in the face and dodging the blows of another. Scarce a moment later, Bottie had torn off both of their heads.
"Buffy, your mom!"
Buffybot turned quickly at the sound of her recently to-be gay best friend's voice. Her mother was getting backed into a corner with the other adults by a group of vampires. That was bad.
She had to save her biological ancestor. That was important. But so was Spike…
"Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!"
Well, she could have hot, sweaty sex with him later.
Buffybot jumped into the fray and quickly dispatched the vampires near the adults, leaving them—especially Joyce Summers—completely shell-shocked.
"This way," she called out cheerfully, grasping her mother's hand and pulling her into the hallway on the right. "Everybody, get away from the vampires!" The adults followed as quickly as they could.
No one paused to ask her what the hell she was talking about in the frenzy. And then…
Ooh, look, a science classroom!
"In here! Now!" Bottie called out, shooing the people into the room. She waited till they were all gone, then jumped in herself and closed the door, shoving a file cabinet against it. She smiled brightly. They were safe. So now she could go find Spike and make sure he was "safe," too.
"Who are those people, and what do they want?" a balding man asked.
"I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their faces? I—" Joyce started to say.
"Yes! PCP! It's a gang on PCP! We've gotta get out of here," the small, rat-like man yelled. He pushed a desk in front of the window and began to climb.
Buffybot could tell that there were more vampires outside, thanks to Willow's additions to her basic software. And although she didn't really mind the annoying little principal being eaten, she knew that it would be wrong.
"You can't go outside. They'll kill you," she said matter-of-factly.
"You don't tell me! I tell you!" he hissed back.
Buffybot was getting annoyed. She grabbed the man's arm and lifted him off the desk and set him—very gently—on the ground.
"There are bad, bad vampires outside. Not all of them are nice and cuddly—and evil and sexy, of course—like my Spikey. So you should all stay in here where you're nice and safe until it's safe to come out."
The adults were actually listening, listening to her! Buffybot liked the feeling.
"Who do you think you are?"
"I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer!" she chirped happily. With that, Bottie turned to walk across the room, her internal processor having already figured out the best way to get around the school and find Spike.
Joyce grabbed her by the shoulders. "Buffy, are you crazy? Those-those people, I don't know what they are, but those guys are serious! You can't go out there!"
Buffybot gave her a dazzling smile. "I'm going up there! I'm going to find Spike!"
She grabbed a stool from a lab bench and set it down, then climbed up—
FLASH!
Buffy fell off the stool.
"Ow! What happened? Where am I?"
She peered at the assembled adults, at her mother staring with a very worried expression. Then her gaze turned to the closed door and she caught a glimpse of the vampires standing guard outside.
"Buffy, who's this 'Spike'? Is he older than you? Does he go to Sunnydale High?"
"Oh, sh—"
2001
"Uh, Bottie, what happened now?"
Buffybot blinked. It was now very bright and she was in her house again. And here was Willow, with shorter red hair and Spike, looking as sexy and evil as ever.
"I was in a room with lots of adults. And there were bad vampires outside. I told them to stay in the room while I went to find my Spikey!"
A moment of silence.
"Just great. The Bot's probably bollocked everything up…again," the vampire groaned, dropping his head into his hands.
"We can still fix it," Willow said quickly. "Um…I think we can, at least. Well, Buffy went back, and she's probably doing what she should be doing. I think."
Meanwhile, Buffybot was giving the peroxide vampire sultry smiles and smoldering looks.
"Bottie, I thought we got you to cut that out," the redheaded witch said desperately, shooting the victim of Buffybot's attacks an apologetic look. "Come on upstairs; I'll do a little tweaking."
Left alone in the kitchen, Spike ran his hands through his gelled hair and wondered what the hell he had ever done that warranted something like this.
1997
Buffy's heart pounded loudly in her ears. She just hoped it wasn't audible to the vampires searching for her.
"Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!"
Oh, crap. The voice, familiar yet too cold and cruel to belong to the vampire she knew, chilled the Slayer to her very bones.
She was almost there. Almost to the library, unless she was off. No, she was there. Buffy kicked the vent cover down and dropped to the ground.
Ms. Calendar backed away a bit in surprise. And Giles…why, Giles had an ax! And he was swinging it towards her before he could stop himself. Only Slayer reflexes saved her from becoming shish kebobbed. By her own Watcher, no less. That would have been embarrassing.
"Buffy!" He lowered the ax. "You're all right!"
"More or less," she muttered, slipping off her sweater. Too warm.
"How are the others?" Ms. Calendar asked.
The Slayer frowned. She hadn't seen Ms. Calendar in the future world. Maybe the computer teacher had gone to LA as well. It seemed an awful lot of people went there.
"Principal Snyder, my mother and four others are locked in the science room across the hall. I don't know if they're…where's Willow and Xander? And Cordelia?"
"Oh dear. You haven't seen Willow and Cordelia?" The Watcher began to clean his glasses.
"No, I haven't. But I think they're okay. Hopefully. Where's Xander?"
"He got out through the stacks. He's getting Angel."
Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. What good could the bloody Poof ever do?
She paused mid-thought. For a moment she wondered if she'd been hanging around the other Spike too much.
Nah. Back to the problem at hand…
"Uh, good. Okay, I'm gonna take the vamps out in the hall. After that you get my mother and the others out the same way." She let the computer teacher help her shove stakes and crosses into the bag she found on the ground.
"Let me help you," Giles ventured.
"Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know you'll make sure she does."
She couldn't have him around during the battle. Not only would that increase his chances of dying, it would also make things even more complicated. She only hoped she would be able to fight Spike when it came down to it. Because if she held back, she was probably gonna be toast.
"Bloody right I will. Fair enough. What's your plan?"
Plan? What plan? Buffy hesitated for a moment, then settled for the easiest and most direct route of action.
"Well, they split up to hold us here, so I'm gonna take 'em one on one. Set 'em up and knock 'em down."
Buffy grabbed a stool and put it under the hole in the ceiling. She climbed up and began to crawl again, determined.
"Watch your back!"
2001
The vampire was pacing again. He paced across the living room, then doubled back and retraced his steps.
The witch. Magic had consequences; it always did. He'd thought that a smart young Wiccan like Red would know that. She should've taken that into consideration before bloody well trying to raise the dead.
Now see what's happened. The sodding Bot got switched with Buffy from the past.
And it doesn't even end there. Once in a while, usually every couple of hours, they switched places. Back and forth. Why? Because Red's mojo wasn't completely up to par, that's why. Between trying to make sure Buffy didn't learn anything about the future and trying to prevent the Bot from causing too much damage in '97…
And the whole mess gets even better when the Bot randomly decides to go haywire. Which basically meant that the fabric of time had probably already been irreparably damaged, and everyone was waiting for the effects to happen.
For a brief moment, Spike wondered if tearing his hair out by the roots could be considered "overreacting."
It wasn't that he didn't like the younger and nicer version of the Slayer. He liked her, liked her the same way he liked the Lil' Bit.
The truth was, he'd fallen in love with the dead Slayer's darkness and experience as much as her strength and bubbly personality. And this little girl had none of that darkness. This was Virgin Buffy—virgin in all senses of the word—, before life and love had taken its toll. Before the years had hammered and molded her into the woman he still loved.
All this girl did was remind him of what he had lost—what he'd never really had.
He tried not to feel jealous of Peaches.
"Uh, Spike?"
Red's voice, calling uncertainly from upstairs, jerked him out of his thoughts.
"What is it now?" he asked suspiciously, not exactly liking her tone. Taking the steps three at a time, the vampire reached the bedroom at record speed. He didn't slow as he smelled the acrid scent of melted plastic and metal wafting through the open door.
The witch smiled nervously, her eyes darting to the bed.
The bed, where the Bot lay, her face blank, her stomach open, black smoke pouring from the visible wiring.
TBC
