Title: PATIENCE

Author: Eyana

Rating: PG-13. Strong language at times.

Summary: The Merovingian has a little 'test' in store for the Twins.

Distribution: Ask me first, archive later.

Warnings: Minor Twin/Twin allusions, but mostly just ridicules and delicious fun.

Author's Note: My first fanfic. Note: I made the twins a lot more individual than I would have if this had been a serious fic (using "I" instead of "We" etc), but its humor so I think I have a bit more freedom to screw around. The story is set before Reloaded, but I guess it doesn't really matter with this story too much. Also, I'm sure there are some mistakes about the technicalities of the Matrix in here (keys, etc) but just try to ignore them.

Disclaimer: God, I WISH I owned the Twins. Matrix universe property WB etc. blah blah blah. Everything else is mine.. So I'm left with crap.

Feedback: E-mail me at chrissy_butter@hotmail.com. No flames please.

CHAPTER TWO:

Hour: 1

The light was at first blinding, reaching and clawing past their identical sunglasses and burning into their eyes. Just when the Twins thought they could not stand it any longer, the dull sting growing into a raging burn, the light faded and disappeared. Two brought his hand down from in front of his face, blinking hard and correcting his code so his eyes would adjust.

"That was new."

They looked around quickly, pale dreadlocked heads snapping in every direction, trying to recognize anything about their new environment. They were in what appeared to be an over sized room (if such a thing existed), fluffy clouds and shiny butterflies painted boldly across the walls.

"Damn him."

There seemed to be large stuffed animals placed in each corner of the room, toys of every nature were littered around the bubble-gum pink carpet. "Damn him. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him."

The ceiling was covered with ridiculous paintings of farm animals and stars. In the background, radiating out of some horrible orifice hidden in the walls, played a slightly off-tune version of "Pop goes the Weasel."

"We're in Hell."

Finally the Twins' eyes rested on the small creature standing before them. There mouths dropped in horrid awe, and if it were possible for albinos to turn pale then they did it then. Sweat dripped from their beautiful features and slithered down their cheeks, simultaneously, glazing their skin in an iridescent shine. Nonononono this could not be happening.

"Hi!" the tiny creature piped, large crooked teeth arranged in a chocolate stained grin.

The Twins stood before it, un-answering, uncomprehending. Of all the "tests" the Merovingian could have contrived, this was the worst one possible.

The creature took a deep breath, as if each breath had to be carefully thought out in order to occur, and then it continued. "Uncle Merovingian said that you twos would take care of me today and I was really happy not cuz I needs babysitting but I don't gets so many visitors here and I broughts outs all my toys so we can play all day and why do you look like that did your mamma drop you?" The creature rocked back and forth on its feet, waiting for a reply.

One's eye began to twitch again. He looked down desperately into the hand that was holding the key the Merovingian gave them. It had mysteriously disappeared.

"No." he whimpered.

He snapped his head to the side, looking for the door through which they entered. It had also vanished. There were no doors or windows to be found.

"No!" he stammered.

He immediately ran in a random direction, phased into a green vapor, and charged at a wall expecting to pass through it. He only smacked his head against its hard, polished surface, the force vibrating through his skull with pain.

"NOOOOO!" He screamed, cupping his forehead and bending down into a little ball.

"Oh dear..." Two sighed, and walked over to his twin, who was sobbing and muttering strange things to himself. It appeared that the Merovingian had somehow programmed the room so that the two of them could not phase through it. Smart bastard. Two bent down, gently stroking his Twin's back, trying to comfort his insane twitching.

"I don't like children anymore than you do-"

"THAT is NOT a child!" One interrupted, pointing a trembling finger at the grinning being. "THAT is everything I hate and fear embodied in a pudding- smeared MIDGET!"

The creature giggled.

Two frowned, and attempted to continue to comfort his brother. One had acquired an intense fear of children ever since that little boy at the park smeared ice-cream on his silver coat. It took him days to coax him out of the washroom, all his Twin would utter was incoherent ramblings of "Still.. not.. clean." Even now, One flinched every time an ice-cream truck passed them on the street.

"It's only for a few hours, and after that, when we get back, I'll take you to the supermarket and you can poke all the fresh buns you want. I know how much you enjoy watching the shoppers squint in disgust at the little finger holes you leave in the rolls.."

By this time, One had stopped sobbing and was actually looking at his brother with a hint of a smile laced across his lips. He reached up and stretched a finger under his sunglasses to wipe a tear away.

"Promise?"

Two smiled, knowing that he had succeeded yet again. He was becoming increasingly good at this. "Promise."

The Twins stood up, and cautiously walked back to where the little creature stood. The unbelievably large smile still remained on its face. Its hair was tied back into two messy pigtails, and it wore a purple and pink jumper with matching runners. All One could concentrate on was the smear of chocolate across its left cheek. If it's on its face, then it has to be on its hands.

"My name's Samantha. What's yours?" it asked in a squeakily high voice.

"Uh. My name is Two, and this here is One." He pointed to his brother, who was hiding behind him.

The being laughed uncontrollably. Great. A child-program with a hint of insanity. Just the Merovingian's style.

"Two? One?" She asked, laughing like some sort of barnyard swine. "Dids your parents name you off Sesame Street?" One twitched again, grinding his teeth together and gripping his coat subconsciously. Two scowled, and simply answered with the same answer he gave everyone who asked about his and his brother's "unusual" names.

"We're too bad-ass to have regular names."

Samantha ignored their response, " Uncle Merovingian said that I could play any games I wants with you, and that you would play anyfings I wants. So I decided thats I want to play teaparty!"

The Twins stiffened, and shifted their eyes back and forth. Surely the child was not serious.

It was. Without a hint of hesitation, the child retreated only to return with the smallest chair and table set the Twins had ever seen. It proceeded to carefully place a pink flower-painted tea set on the table top, centering the cups far more precisely than any human child could.

Oh dear god.

Samantha jumped eagerly into the chair in the middle, and waited for the Twins to sit down. To One's horror, Two actually sat.

"What are you doing?!" One gasped, jittering frenziedly, "you're actually going to PLAY with it?"

Two didn't turn his back, busy examining the tea cup placed in front of him. "We have six hours to kill. Do you see anything else to do in this room that looks better?"

One tried to think of a response, desperately searching the rest of the room for an excuse. Among the stuffed monkeys and Easy-Bake-Oven he found none. Defeated, One shuffled over to the last seat. It was then that he noticed his chair was considerable shorter than the other two.

"What?! I refuse to sit in this chair! It's not even big enough for a squirrel's ass!"

Two smiled. "Well, if you prefer the floor.."

One snorted and sat down in the impeccably small chair. He didn't want to imagine what sticky things resided in these carpets.

"Would you likes some tea?" the child asked, hovering a teapot over his cup.

"Sure. Why not." One answered, sarcastic.

Samantha proceeded to lift the teapot as if she were pouring the hot liquid. Nothing came out. One moved closer and squinted at the spout in an effort to see the tea - perhaps his code was malfunctioning. Nothing. The child sat back down as if finished pouring, and then stood up again to pour tea into Two's cup.

"Where's my tea?" One demanded.

"I pours it for you already!" Samantha answered, matter-of-factly. For some strange reason she was now speaking in an awful British accent.

"No, you didn't! There's nothing in the bloody cup!"

"Check agains."

"I CAN SEE THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN THE FUCKING CUP!"

"Language!" Two inserted, sipping his imaginary tea. One could not believe Two was going along with this.

"Woulds you like some biscuits?"

"No, I want some tea!"

"The biscuits are verys fresh"

"That plate is empty"

"Try one!"

"HOW CAN I TRY ONE IF THERE ARE NO FUCKING BUSCUITS ON THE PLATE?"

"Yous have to try ones to find out"

"How in the HELL-"

"Oh nevereminds. The biscuits are gone."

"WHAT?????????"

One was twitching all over his body now. He was in hell. He knew that with every digit in his program. He was going to have to spend the rest of eternity having invisible tea with a midget.

"Calm down. You're going to corrupt your own system."

"Stop patronizing me. I'm 0.00000000000008 nanoseconds older than you."

"Fine."

"How much time has it been?"

Two turned his head, repeating the exact same thing One had said to him earlier. "We both have the same watches. Why don't YOU check?"

"Just.. tell.. me.."

Two sighed, and glanced at his silver pocket-watch, taking another sip of invisible tea. "About an hour."

One screamed. The child giggled.

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