bTitle: PATIENCE /b
bAuthor:/b Eyana
bRating:/b PG-13. Will be strong language later.. now its pretty tame.
bSummary:/b The Merovingian has a little 'test' in store for the Twins.
bDistribution:/b Ask me first, archive later.
bWarnings:/b Minor Twin/Twin allusions, but mostly just ridicules and delicious fun.
bAuthor's Note:/b My first fanfic. Note: I made the twins a lot more individual than I would have if this had been a serious fic (using "I" instead of "We" etc), but its humor so I think I have a bit more freedom to screw around. The story is set before Reloaded, but I guess it doesn't really matter with this story too much. Also, I'm sure there are some mistakes about the technicalities of the Matrix in here (keys, etc) but just try to ignore them.
b Disclaimer:/b God, I WISH I owned the Twins. Matrix universe property WB etc. blah blah blah. Everything else is mine.. So I'm left with crap.
bFeedback:/b E-mail me at chrissy_butter@hotmail.com No flames please.
bCHAPTER ONE:/b
bHour: Two/b
The tea party did not go well.
Despite Two's effort to calm One down, the tea set was never the less flung across the room and invisible tea and biscuits spilled all over the carpets. This was followed by a round of One smacking his head loudly on the small table, spouting curses in the numerous languages he was programmed in. All the while Samantha was rolling across the ground, holding her sides and sounding much like a hyena in heat.
Two, usually the calmer of the Twins (and for all intensive purposes the more sane), was once again forced to sweet-talk his brother back into the realm of reason. Two had then suggested to Samantha that they play a different game, a suggestion that caused One to laugh obnoxiously. He suggested something quiet, something soothing and something that did not involve imaginary hors d'oeuvres. The child stood there for a moment, silently pondering the request, before retreating into her pile of toys and emerging with crayons and paper, placing them carefully on the tea-party table.
Which is where they were now, Two sketching with delicate care, Samantha humming some annoying tune as she scribbled and One staring blankly at his sheet of paper.
Nose twitching, One glanced over at his Twin who peacefully drawing something with a red crayon, a light smile feathered across his lips.
"Stupid bastard." One whispered to himself, pouting like a 2 year old and slouching groggily in his chair. "He's enjoying this so much I can tell, he's probably drawing some masterpiece again always has to be the best at everything what with his perfect posture and-"
"I can hear you, you know."
One stiffened, coughed loudly and shifted his eyes back onto the empty canvas before him. He hated these so-called "creative things" (with the exception of decorating cookies -a hobby that NO ONE was to know) and the fact that he was stuck in a room with IT (One narrowed his eyes at the child) made it so much worse. But the time was ticking by slowly and he was getting very, very bored. Reluctantly, he searched over the variety of crayons offered and settled on a grainy black one.
"Excellent. The most evil of crayons. Oh how we understand each other..."
The raised eyebrows of both Two and Samantha made One realize he had said that out-loud. Damn.
Grumbling, One ignored their response to his burst of honesty and focused on the paper before him. He had no idea what to draw, but the fact that it would be composed entirely in black at least ensured its "Bad-Ass Appeal".
He decided to simply jump right into it, moving his crayon across the white surface with reckless aim. Eventually he drew a tree and some decent grass. Pleased with how this was turning out, One decided to draw something beside the tree. A dog. One actually began to enjoy himself and fancied that he may, in fact, be a budding artist after all. His self- indulgence was interrupted however by the familiar warmth of arm and simulated breathing on his neck. Annoyed, One turned to see his brother peering over his shoulder, looking at his artwork.
"What?!" One snapped, suddenly very protective over his masterpiece.
"Nothing," Two answered.
"What do you want?"
"I just wanted to see your work."
"Well stop it! Go back to your seat!"
"I will in a minute."
"...Well,uh, what do you think?" One asked, timidly.
Two paused, staring intently at the paper. "Its very good. Except..."
"What?"
"What is that rooster doing to that pole?"
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
One ripped his drawing to shreds, stood up, and threw his crayon towards the other side of the room. "I HATE THIS!! I HATE THIS! I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I'M AN ASSASIN, A KILLER, A BAD-ASS PIMP DADDY-" (Two snickered) "-WHO SHOULD BE SHOOTING UP SOME HUMANS AND NOT BABY-SITTING A TINY F-"
One stopped ranting when he felt something small tug at his jacket. Samantha stood there, Bambi-eyes in full display, holding a piece of paper. All one could concentrate on was the now present chocolate stain on the silver fabric.
"Noooo..." He wheezed.
"I'm sorries you sucks at drawing but I made yous a picture!"
One's eyebrows knitted together, eyes bulging from behind his rather expensive looking sunglasses.
"Awwwwwweeeeee." Two commented from afar.
Ears twitching, One hesitantly plucked the piece of paper out of the child's hands. Shaking, he raised it to his eyes, which narrowed in examination. All that resided on the page was a circular purple scribble and a green crooked square.
"What the hell IS this?"
"It's YOU!" Samantha smiled obtusely.
One squinted at the drawing, trying to make sense of the wobbly lines and messy scrawls, before he announced, "I can't think of any possible way that this could remotely resemble me."
The child sighed, and motioned for One to bend down so she could reach the drawing. One's eyes flared with caution, getting closer to the midget was the last thing be wanted to do. However, a stern look from Two was enough to guilt One into bending down.
Samantha sighed again, imitating the exasperation of a person trying to explain third year calculus to a mosquito. "Yous see, that part-" the child pointed to the upper portion of the scribble, "is your head."
"My WHAT?"
Samantha appeared not to hear him. "And DIS part-" she continued, pointing to another random area, "is your leg.'
"My LEG? And where is the OTHER leg?"
"You don't haves one."
"Well why the hell not?"
"Because I rans out of silverz crayon and your bodys shaped screwy."
It was at this point where One's dreadlocks actually began to violently twitch.
Samantha continued to explain her magnum opus carefully, dragging out the long luscious details in the way only a child (or child program) could. She failed to notice, however, that One's attention was gathered upon something entirely different from the picture. Something gleaming around Samantha's neck. Something that could get him and his brother out of this "test" for good.
***************************************************************************
Sorry this is so short (and not really funny gah). I'm very busy with finals. Once summer roles around, I'll be able to write more. Even (if people want me to) a *gasp* serious fic!
bAuthor:/b Eyana
bRating:/b PG-13. Will be strong language later.. now its pretty tame.
bSummary:/b The Merovingian has a little 'test' in store for the Twins.
bDistribution:/b Ask me first, archive later.
bWarnings:/b Minor Twin/Twin allusions, but mostly just ridicules and delicious fun.
bAuthor's Note:/b My first fanfic. Note: I made the twins a lot more individual than I would have if this had been a serious fic (using "I" instead of "We" etc), but its humor so I think I have a bit more freedom to screw around. The story is set before Reloaded, but I guess it doesn't really matter with this story too much. Also, I'm sure there are some mistakes about the technicalities of the Matrix in here (keys, etc) but just try to ignore them.
b Disclaimer:/b God, I WISH I owned the Twins. Matrix universe property WB etc. blah blah blah. Everything else is mine.. So I'm left with crap.
bFeedback:/b E-mail me at chrissy_butter@hotmail.com No flames please.
bCHAPTER ONE:/b
bHour: Two/b
The tea party did not go well.
Despite Two's effort to calm One down, the tea set was never the less flung across the room and invisible tea and biscuits spilled all over the carpets. This was followed by a round of One smacking his head loudly on the small table, spouting curses in the numerous languages he was programmed in. All the while Samantha was rolling across the ground, holding her sides and sounding much like a hyena in heat.
Two, usually the calmer of the Twins (and for all intensive purposes the more sane), was once again forced to sweet-talk his brother back into the realm of reason. Two had then suggested to Samantha that they play a different game, a suggestion that caused One to laugh obnoxiously. He suggested something quiet, something soothing and something that did not involve imaginary hors d'oeuvres. The child stood there for a moment, silently pondering the request, before retreating into her pile of toys and emerging with crayons and paper, placing them carefully on the tea-party table.
Which is where they were now, Two sketching with delicate care, Samantha humming some annoying tune as she scribbled and One staring blankly at his sheet of paper.
Nose twitching, One glanced over at his Twin who peacefully drawing something with a red crayon, a light smile feathered across his lips.
"Stupid bastard." One whispered to himself, pouting like a 2 year old and slouching groggily in his chair. "He's enjoying this so much I can tell, he's probably drawing some masterpiece again always has to be the best at everything what with his perfect posture and-"
"I can hear you, you know."
One stiffened, coughed loudly and shifted his eyes back onto the empty canvas before him. He hated these so-called "creative things" (with the exception of decorating cookies -a hobby that NO ONE was to know) and the fact that he was stuck in a room with IT (One narrowed his eyes at the child) made it so much worse. But the time was ticking by slowly and he was getting very, very bored. Reluctantly, he searched over the variety of crayons offered and settled on a grainy black one.
"Excellent. The most evil of crayons. Oh how we understand each other..."
The raised eyebrows of both Two and Samantha made One realize he had said that out-loud. Damn.
Grumbling, One ignored their response to his burst of honesty and focused on the paper before him. He had no idea what to draw, but the fact that it would be composed entirely in black at least ensured its "Bad-Ass Appeal".
He decided to simply jump right into it, moving his crayon across the white surface with reckless aim. Eventually he drew a tree and some decent grass. Pleased with how this was turning out, One decided to draw something beside the tree. A dog. One actually began to enjoy himself and fancied that he may, in fact, be a budding artist after all. His self- indulgence was interrupted however by the familiar warmth of arm and simulated breathing on his neck. Annoyed, One turned to see his brother peering over his shoulder, looking at his artwork.
"What?!" One snapped, suddenly very protective over his masterpiece.
"Nothing," Two answered.
"What do you want?"
"I just wanted to see your work."
"Well stop it! Go back to your seat!"
"I will in a minute."
"...Well,uh, what do you think?" One asked, timidly.
Two paused, staring intently at the paper. "Its very good. Except..."
"What?"
"What is that rooster doing to that pole?"
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
One ripped his drawing to shreds, stood up, and threw his crayon towards the other side of the room. "I HATE THIS!! I HATE THIS! I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I'M AN ASSASIN, A KILLER, A BAD-ASS PIMP DADDY-" (Two snickered) "-WHO SHOULD BE SHOOTING UP SOME HUMANS AND NOT BABY-SITTING A TINY F-"
One stopped ranting when he felt something small tug at his jacket. Samantha stood there, Bambi-eyes in full display, holding a piece of paper. All one could concentrate on was the now present chocolate stain on the silver fabric.
"Noooo..." He wheezed.
"I'm sorries you sucks at drawing but I made yous a picture!"
One's eyebrows knitted together, eyes bulging from behind his rather expensive looking sunglasses.
"Awwwwwweeeeee." Two commented from afar.
Ears twitching, One hesitantly plucked the piece of paper out of the child's hands. Shaking, he raised it to his eyes, which narrowed in examination. All that resided on the page was a circular purple scribble and a green crooked square.
"What the hell IS this?"
"It's YOU!" Samantha smiled obtusely.
One squinted at the drawing, trying to make sense of the wobbly lines and messy scrawls, before he announced, "I can't think of any possible way that this could remotely resemble me."
The child sighed, and motioned for One to bend down so she could reach the drawing. One's eyes flared with caution, getting closer to the midget was the last thing be wanted to do. However, a stern look from Two was enough to guilt One into bending down.
Samantha sighed again, imitating the exasperation of a person trying to explain third year calculus to a mosquito. "Yous see, that part-" the child pointed to the upper portion of the scribble, "is your head."
"My WHAT?"
Samantha appeared not to hear him. "And DIS part-" she continued, pointing to another random area, "is your leg.'
"My LEG? And where is the OTHER leg?"
"You don't haves one."
"Well why the hell not?"
"Because I rans out of silverz crayon and your bodys shaped screwy."
It was at this point where One's dreadlocks actually began to violently twitch.
Samantha continued to explain her magnum opus carefully, dragging out the long luscious details in the way only a child (or child program) could. She failed to notice, however, that One's attention was gathered upon something entirely different from the picture. Something gleaming around Samantha's neck. Something that could get him and his brother out of this "test" for good.
***************************************************************************
Sorry this is so short (and not really funny gah). I'm very busy with finals. Once summer roles around, I'll be able to write more. Even (if people want me to) a *gasp* serious fic!
