Title: Harry Potter Mary-Sue Parody
Summary: What the title says.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it; I certainly do not own any of the Mary-Sues mentioned in this story.
*** Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were outside on the Hogwarts grounds by the lake one afternoon.
"It certainly is a nice day," said Hermione, sitting on a large rock by the lake with Harry and Ron. "Sunny and not a cloud in the sky. What could possibly go wrong?"
As soon as those words left Miss Granger's mouth, the trio heard the faint sound of giggling.
"Who is that?" asked Hermione, turning around to see a group of girls sitting next to a tree, giggling at Harry and Ron. "Oh, just some Gryffindor girls. I think they're Mary-Sues, by the looks of them, but I've never actually seen them before now. Have you?" she asked Harry and Ron.
"Well, Hermione," said Ron, "they are better than you in every single class. At everything, actually. And to top it off, they follow Harry and me EVERYWHERE. Well, generally they follow Harry, but still."
"And I think I remember being in snog scenes with every individual one of them," added Harry.
"Do you even know their names?" asked Hermione.
"One of them is named Serene, or Serena, or something like that," said Harry. "One is named Destiny, one named Lynx, another named Arwen. So many names."
"You mean, they're --" started Hermione, who couldn't finish her sentence because she was so horrified at the answer she was about to get.
"Yes, Hermione," replied Ron, who hung his head in shame, as did Harry. "They are."
"Well, I'm not surprised," Hermione said smugly, crossing her arms and moving to face the lake."
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Harry and Ron.
"I'm not surprised of what they are. What nature they are. You know what I mean," said Hermione. Harry and Ron stared at Hermione as if she were insane.
"ATTACK OF THE SUES!" the trio heard a familiar shout. "THEY'RE COMING AFTER ME! GET THEM AWAY! They're going to mess up MY HAIR!"
"Malfoy," muttered Hermione. "Figures."
Suddenly, Malfoy ran away screaming, as a rather large group of Ravenclaw and Slytherin girls came running after him.
"DRACIE!" the group shouted. "WE LOVE YOU!"
"Serves him right for being dead sexy like that," muttered Hermione. Harry and Ron glanced at her, but said nothing.
"That was very funny," said Ron, looking down where Malfoy had been followed by his trail of Sues. He and Harry had begun laughing so hard they almost fell off the rock into the lake.
"Harry, I don't think you'll want to laugh so soon," said Hermione seriously, looking off in the distance.
Harry and Ron were startled when the trio heard the sound of screaming becoming louder as the Sues approached them.
"You'd better run," said Hermione, grinning madly. "I won't tell them where you went. GO!" she urged. "I'll see you at dinner, if you run. Now. The sues are coming."
"THE SUES ARE COMING!" yelled Harry and Ron, as they ran in the direction Malfoy had. Seconds later, the sues came into view and went on running after them.
Hermione laughed so hard she almost fell off the rock.
***
Reviews are appreciated.
Note: For those who do not know:
Mary-Sue (Mare-EE Soo) - A female character in fanfiction, generally the fanfiction author's made up character, which has been given unexplained special abilities or traits.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it; I certainly do not own any of the Mary-Sues mentioned in this story.
*** Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were outside on the Hogwarts grounds by the lake one afternoon.
"It certainly is a nice day," said Hermione, sitting on a large rock by the lake with Harry and Ron. "Sunny and not a cloud in the sky. What could possibly go wrong?"
As soon as those words left Miss Granger's mouth, the trio heard the faint sound of giggling.
"Who is that?" asked Hermione, turning around to see a group of girls sitting next to a tree, giggling at Harry and Ron. "Oh, just some Gryffindor girls. I think they're Mary-Sues, by the looks of them, but I've never actually seen them before now. Have you?" she asked Harry and Ron.
"Well, Hermione," said Ron, "they are better than you in every single class. At everything, actually. And to top it off, they follow Harry and me EVERYWHERE. Well, generally they follow Harry, but still."
"And I think I remember being in snog scenes with every individual one of them," added Harry.
"Do you even know their names?" asked Hermione.
"One of them is named Serene, or Serena, or something like that," said Harry. "One is named Destiny, one named Lynx, another named Arwen. So many names."
"You mean, they're --" started Hermione, who couldn't finish her sentence because she was so horrified at the answer she was about to get.
"Yes, Hermione," replied Ron, who hung his head in shame, as did Harry. "They are."
"Well, I'm not surprised," Hermione said smugly, crossing her arms and moving to face the lake."
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Harry and Ron.
"I'm not surprised of what they are. What nature they are. You know what I mean," said Hermione. Harry and Ron stared at Hermione as if she were insane.
"ATTACK OF THE SUES!" the trio heard a familiar shout. "THEY'RE COMING AFTER ME! GET THEM AWAY! They're going to mess up MY HAIR!"
"Malfoy," muttered Hermione. "Figures."
Suddenly, Malfoy ran away screaming, as a rather large group of Ravenclaw and Slytherin girls came running after him.
"DRACIE!" the group shouted. "WE LOVE YOU!"
"Serves him right for being dead sexy like that," muttered Hermione. Harry and Ron glanced at her, but said nothing.
"That was very funny," said Ron, looking down where Malfoy had been followed by his trail of Sues. He and Harry had begun laughing so hard they almost fell off the rock into the lake.
"Harry, I don't think you'll want to laugh so soon," said Hermione seriously, looking off in the distance.
Harry and Ron were startled when the trio heard the sound of screaming becoming louder as the Sues approached them.
"You'd better run," said Hermione, grinning madly. "I won't tell them where you went. GO!" she urged. "I'll see you at dinner, if you run. Now. The sues are coming."
"THE SUES ARE COMING!" yelled Harry and Ron, as they ran in the direction Malfoy had. Seconds later, the sues came into view and went on running after them.
Hermione laughed so hard she almost fell off the rock.
***
Reviews are appreciated.
Note: For those who do not know:
Mary-Sue (Mare-EE Soo) - A female character in fanfiction, generally the fanfiction author's made up character, which has been given unexplained special abilities or traits.
