Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters..but the plot is all mine! MINE! I also don't own the song "In the dark of the Night" from Anastasia..

Chapter One:

Pansy: "I can't believe its already 5th year!"

"Yeah and the 5th time we have to listen to that old fart give his speech," said Draco "Hurry UP OLD MAN I'm HUNGRY!"

Hagrid jumps across the hall and pins Draco to the ground "NEVER INSULT PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE IN FRONT OF ME!!"

The great hall starts bustin' up laughing!

"HAHAHA ooohh I'm shakin' in my lil' space boots, the big oaf has a pink umbrella, YOU PANSY!" Draco says.

Pansy screeches "HOW INSULTING!!!!"

Ron whispers to Harry and Hermione, "Who would name their kid after a flower?"

Creevy: "I LOVE FLOWERS!"

"Shut up Creevy!" says Ron and Harry together

Professor Dumbledore clears his throat, "May I continue?" "This year we will have a dance, blah, blah, blah, and I would like to introduce you to the new DADA teacher! Professor Lockhart, he has gained back his magic skills-"

"What skills?" whispers Draco to Pansy.

"But he doesn't remember teaching here 3 years ago" continues P.D. (professor Dumbledore for the idiots who couldn't figure that out for themselves!)

"Still as sexy as ever! GRRRR!" Hermione rolls her rrr's as she speaks.

~~~~Meanwhile back at Voldie's headquarters
All The deatheaters are having a party and they are "mingling"

Crabbe "Where did ya get the snazzy hair grease?' Snape: What! I DIDN'T TELL DUMBLEDORE ABOUT THE LAST DEATHEATER PARTY! I swear I'm on your side, not Dumbledore's!" Crabbe backs away slowly "Ooookay no more punch for you!

Voldermort enters the party..

Voldie: Sorry I'm late everyone I had to shave the Uni! (as he gestures to his eyebrow/s) Pettigrew: Uhh sir it's grown back. Voldie: OOH filddlesticks! Voldie: Ok on to my evil plan, how to kill that twit potter! I would like to express my evil plan through a song! Hit it Wormy!"

Voldie: In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning

And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be --

It scared me out of my wits --

A corpse falling to bits!

Then I opened my eyes

And the nightmare was...me!!

I was once the most mystical man in all England.

When the Potter's trusted Wormtail they mad a mistake!

My curse made each of them pay

But one little boy got away!

Little Harry, beware,

Voldie's awake!

D.E.'s

In the dark of the night evil will find him

In the dark of the night just before dawn!

Voldie:

Revenge will be sweet

Voldie and D.E's:

When the curse is complete!

[ALL]

In the dark of the night

Voldie:

he'll be gone!

I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!

Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!

AS the pieces fall into place

I'll see him crawl into place!

Dasvidanya, Harry, your grace, farewell!

D.E's:

In the dark of the night terror will strike him!

Voldie:

Terror's the least I can do!

D.E's:

In the dark of the night evil will brew.

Ooh!

Voldie:

Soon he will feel that his nightmares are real.

[ALL]

In the dark of the night

(Voldie)

he'll be through!

(death eaters)

In the dark of the night

Evil will find him

Find him!

Ooh!

In the dark of the night terror comes true.

Doom him!

(Voldie)

My dear, here's a sign --

(ALL)

It's the end of the line!

[ALL]

In the dark of the night...

In the dark of the night...

In the dark of the night...

Voldie:

Come my minions,

Rise for your master,

Let your evil shine!

Find him now,

Yes, fly ever faster

(all the Deatheaters rise on their broomsticks)

[ALL]

In the dark of the night...

In the dark of the night...

In the dark of the night...

Voldie:

He'll be mine!

All the Deatheaters clap, and several shed tears! "its brilliant! Voldie:"STOP CRYING YOU SISSIES! AVADA KADAVRA!...o yes and I know it was brilliant!" End of Chapter one..or is it! Reviews welcome, flames will be shoved up Hagrid's massive arse!