Judge Julia

By TheOne

Case Four: Bryan and Lei

A VERY deep voice: Welcome to Judge Julia, where the cases are just plain stupid, the jury are all hobos hired to come, and where the judges are frauds. This Is Judge Julia…….AFTER THE COMMERCIALS!

Commercials: Buy some implants today! Just stuff them in, and water em, your busts will grow twice the size of the original. Anyone can buy is, except Britney Spears, so call today! The Dream Team, premieres it's second season soon! Read my latest Hwoarang fic, Lost Chapters of Tekken, and my upcoming chapters of Police Work starring Lei Wulong. EAT NOODLES!

A VERY deep voice: Welcome back folks, I mean gentlemen. We are back with Judge Judy, I mean Judge Julia. I forgot she died of age. Here we go…

Plaintiff Lei Wulong claims that he arrested Bryan Fury two weeks ago in a robbery at a bank. Lei says that Bryan escaped out of the prison and got a sex change, even though he is a robot. Weird huh? Anyways Lei Wulong just wants some money for tricking police and escaping. For a side note, Lei will use the money on some hamburgers. He is sueing Bryan Fury for $13.91. Lei wants it in thirteen Sacagewea coins, two Georgia quarters, and One Maryland, and sixteen cents. Eh hem, whew, finally BREAK TIME! I mean, we will be back after the commercials.

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The deep voice: We're back with Judge Julia, Bryan Fury in defense says that he did break out of jail, but did not get a sex change. Is that right Bryan?

Bryan: TOTALLY! Hey, you guys wanna see my new bikini I got at the mall yesterday?

Julia: Eh hem. My first question would be, why da heck would you buy a bikini Bryan.

Bryan: I'm NOT GAY! Okay? Stop accusing me of being gay!

Julia: I am not. Where were you at the night of the robbery Lei?

Lei: I ask the questions here!

Julia: But I am a judge. You're a little police.

Lei: well I guess-

Julia: SO! BRYAN! What did you do after you broke out of prison?

Bryan: Well, I was like, totally famished. So I drank some gasoline at the gas station. Then I went on a date with Robocop. But we broke up after that, totally. Literally.

Julia: Stop acting SO gay.

Bryan: I'm NOT GAY! Okay? Stop accusing me of being gay!

Julia: I'm not. Lei, what did you do after you heard that Bryan escaped?

Lei: Well, I was sorta, well, sleeping.

Julia: Then?

Lei: Then I went out with my girlfriend, Bryanna. She was so nice. But she didn't have good looks. Almost as if she had a- WAIT A MINUTE! BRYANNA SOUNDS LIKE BRYAN!

Lei and Julia and the jury gasp. Including Eddy, who is that police guy who hands documents to the judge.

Bryan: Why are you totally staring at me?

Bryan starts to twirl his hair.

Bryan: What?

Julia: Mr. Fury, or Mrs. Fury I should say -snort-! Excuse me, it was just a funny joke. Anyways, Bryan, where did you go after you broke up with Robocop?

Bryan: I went out with this drunk dude on the street. He was totally a Jackie Chan clone.

Julia: What was his name?

Bryan: Well, I totally think it was totally Lie Bulong. WAIT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE LEI WULONG!

Julia: I think I have this figured out. Mr. Wulong, this Bryanna you went out with on the same night, seems to be Bryan Fury. The evidence guides me to my conclusion, Lei Wulong and Bryan Fury went on a date the same night of the breakout. The only way Bryan would actually go out with Lei would be if he got drunk, or if he got a sex change. But Bryan doesn't like alcohol so that leads to the other option. One more question. Lei, why did you fake your name?

Lei: Ummmm, that's sorta private Julia. Oh fine, I was cheating on my other girlfriend, so I had to use a different name.

Julia: That's just sad. In this case, no one gets any money.

Lei: Which means no hamburger! WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE TO EAT NOODLES THE WHOLE WEEK AGAIN!

Julia: Case closed.

A very deep voice: We'll be back after the commercials.

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