Hi everyone, sorry for not updating yesterday but I just couldn't bring myself to start writing. But fear not my friends, on the days I'm not writing, I'm coming up with the summary for the upcoming chapter so yesterday did not go to waste-unless you happen to be one of those sensible people who actually have jobs and make money and think writing fanfics are a complete waste of time. But luckily for me, or unluckily, depending on the person I'm talking to (mom), I LOVE to "waste" my time writing stories. Well anyway, this chapter may get a little confusing because there's a lot of flashbacks covering the time _after_ Serena's party. It may seem a little bit rushed but I didn't want to write more chapters just to cover the time between the party and...well, you'll see.

BTW, thank you Sara for your apology and let me just issue one of my own. I'm sorry for biting your head off in the email I sent you but I couldn't help getting defensive when I read your comment because it _did_ sound like you were telling everyone that I write my own reviews, which I don't. But anyway, it's over, let's move on. Forgive and forget, right? Happy reading folks, and I hope you don't hate me for what happens in this chapter.

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Wounded Souls

Chapter Seven-Identities Revealed...and Concealed

By: crystal rose

*****************************************

Dr. Eisner sat in his chair wondering what had happened to the small, huddled figure on his couch since the last time he had seen her almost three weeks ago when she told him about being molested as a child. He watched Serena burrow herself into the corner of the couch even further, trembling uncontrollably, as if trying to hide from the world like a scared rabbit. 'What could have turned the confident woman who walked out of my office three weeks ago into this?' he thought to himself. Dr. Eisner had gone on vacation with his girlfriend to Jamaica the day after he last spoke to Serena. He had only been back a few days since his two-week trip when Serena called his office, begging his receptionist to squeeze her in for an emergency appointment. Unfortunately, he was very busy trying to catch up to all the work he missed that he was only able to see her a week later.

"Serena, what happened?" he asked gently so as not to scare her off.

Serena snapped her head up at the sound of his voice, almost surprised that he was sitting there in front of her. "He hurt me," she whispered brokenly. "He promised me he wouldn't hurt me but he did."

"Who, Jake?" he asked. She shook her head, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her face.

"No, Darien. He hurt me."

"What did he do? Did he tell you that he didn't feel the same way you felt about him?" Dr. Eisner asked.

"Worse, he told me that he loved me, but then I found out that it was all just a lie to get me to sleep with him," she said as she stared blankly out the window.

Dr. Eisner was rightfully confused (as I'm sure you all are). 'If he told her he loved her, why would she think it was all just an act?' "Why don't you tell me what happened since the last time I saw you?"

Serena took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking back to the party and the lovely time she had with her family and Darien. She told Dr. Eisner about Darien surprising her by flying her mother and brother out just to see her, and the beautiful tiara he had gotten her from Japan.

"Did he hurt you right after that?" Dr. Eisner asked when she paused to take a breath.

"No. Those next few days were wonderful. He took our families to Disneyland and we had a wonderful time..."

~~*Flashback*~~

"Ooh, I'm soooo excited!" Serena squealed happily as they walked through the gates pushing Walter in his wheelchair. "I hope we get to see Donald Duck, he's my favourite. I hope I get to take a picture with him!"

Sammy rolled his eyes. "You can't even understand anything he says, dummy! Everyone knows Mickey is the man. He runs this entire operation. Without him, Disney wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Mickey's face is the money-maker."

Serena snorted contemptuously. "Dream on, you miserable puddle of a homeless man's urine (AN: got that from South Park). Donald is the unsung hero of the Disney franchise. Mickey is nothing but a goody-goody wanna be human. Everything always works out for him in the end while Donald has to work for everything he's accomplished, plus he has to take care of those three bratty nephews of his. At least we know that Donald's a sailor. What does Mickey do for a living, I ask. All he ever does is moon over that scank of a mouse Minnie."

Having no comeback for Serena's comment, Sammy decided to change the subject. "Have you ever noticed that Goofy and Pluto are dogs but only one of them can talk? And that Goofy is the only fully-clothed male out of all the Disney animals?"

Serena laughed. "I know what you're trying to do, squirt. But yeah, I've noticed. Have you also noticed that there are other animals in their cartoons but only _they_ can speak? I've always found that a bit disconcerting."

"No, what's really disconcerting is seeing Mickey owning a dog. How is that even possible?" Sammy asked.

Darien turned to Ilene and raised his eyebrow. "They _do_ know that it's just a cartoon, right? It's all just make believe?" he asked softly.

Ilene laughed, getting the attention of everyone around her. "You haven't been around these two long enough, Darien. They've had hour-long discussions on the over-usage of the name 'Jack' in fairy tales and nursery rhymes."

"It's true," Serena protested, trying to stop Darien from laughing. "There's Jack-and-the-beanstalk, Jack and Jill..."

"Don't forget Little Jack Horner," Sammy added.

Walter turned around in his wheelchair to face Ilene. "You're a brave and noble woman, Ilene," he said, shaking his head seriously. "You are of a dying race."

Ilene smiled fondly at her two grown children. "Yeah, but they do come up with surprisingly good arguments sometimes..."

Just then, a squeal of delight erupted from Serena. "Hey guys, let's go on that one!" she cried, pointing at the Dumbo ride. She turned to Darien and fluttered her eyelashes. "Please?"

'Who can say no to that?' Darien thought as he nodded his head absentmindedly, eliciting another squeal from Serena. "Let's go!"

Using the Fast Pass they had gotten at the information booth when they went to get a wheelchair for Walter, the entire group bypassed the _obscenely_ long line up and were on the ride in less than five minutes. (AN: getting a Fast Pass is a lifesaver. It allows people who have disabilities to use the exit to board the rides before the other passengers. The ride attendants couldn't care less what your excuse is either. My cousin-in-law told the guy at the info booth that I needed a fast pass because I had an ingrown toenail and couldn't stand for long periods of time, which was SO NOT TRUE. Just a little tip to stick it to the man, I guess.)

Sammy and Ilene boarded one elephant, Walter and Candace another, leaving Darien and Serena alone, not that they minded at all. When the ride started, Serena exhaled nervously. "Don't tell me you're scared of a little kiddie ride, Sere. It was your idea to ride this one in the first place," Darien teased.

Serena scrunched up her nose at him. "_No_ I am not scared, Darien. I just get little butterflies in my stomach every time a ride starts, no matter how unscary. I guess it's just the anticipation."

"Yeah right, 'anticipation.' You're just a scaredy-cat," Darien taunted, tapping her nose with his finger. They both laughed as Sammy used the controls to make the elephant go up and down, despite Ilene's loud protests.

"Sammy! Stop that right now! I'm getting nauseous!" screamed Ilene.

~~*End flashback*~~

"Sounds like you had a great day," Dr. Eisner commented.

"I did. It was one of the best days of my life, and I have so few of those. Darien and I went on all the rides together, and he held my hand when I got scared on the roller coasters. It seemed as if our families became one that day. Sammy and Mr....Potts got along famously because they teased me relentlessly. Our mothers had that look in their eyes like they had a secret but weren't allowed to tell. I think that was the day I started to really believe that Darien and I could be together after all," Serena said musingly.

"So how was the rest of your family's visit?" asked Dr. Eisner.

"It was wonderful. Darien had taken a week off from work so that he could show them around with me. He took us around LA, showing us the sights, for even though I'd been living here for a couple of months, I hadn't really taken the time to tour. We even joined one of those cheesy 'Star Tours' and saw where all the celebrities lived," Serena said, remembering how her mother had taken three rolls of film with her in hopes of capturing a movie star at his or her shabbiest and flaunting it to her friends back home.

"Sounds like Darien would do just about anything for you," he replied.

Serena snickered, her eyes flashing with angry tears. "You'd think so, huh? Well anyway, on July 4th, Mrs. Potts had a barbecue in the back of their house with Darien manning the grill..."

~~*Flashback*~~

"Darien, are you _sure_ you want to do the barbecuing? Wouldn't you rather I do it instead?" a nervous looking Lita asked.

Darien laughed and flipped over a burger. "For the last time, Lita, I said no! Who is wielding the spatula, you or me? That's right. Your jurisdiction is in the kitchen; you are powerless out here. The barbecue is my domain and nobody, and I mean nobody, touches the grill except for my capable hands."

Lita winced as she watched Darien flip over a burger too soon in her opinion. "Really Darien, I don't mind..."

"LITA! Don't you have a boyfriend you have to meet?" Darien asked exasperatedly. "It _is_ your day off, you know. Go out, have fun, and most importantly, stop bugging the hell out of me!"

"Well, I _do_ have a date with Nathan. We're having dinner at his parents' home," she replied. Suddenly, a ghastly thought made its way to her mind, one that she had never thought about before. "What if I make a bad first impression on his parents?"

Darien smiled. "Don't worry so much, Lita. As long as you don't insult Nathan's mother's cooking, you'll be fine. Now, get out of here and get ready."

Lita gasped in horror. "Oh my god, I didn't even think about that! What if she's a really crappy cook and she asks me what I think of her food? I can't lie...can I?"

"Chill out Lita," said Serena as she came up to the grill to sample a little bit of food. "OUCH!" she yelped when Darien smacked her hand away playfully with the spatula. Serena rubbed her hand tenderly and glared at Darien before focusing her attention on Lita. "What harm could a little white lie do if you're trying to spare the woman's feelings? There's no rule that says you have to be so honest."

Lita paid no heed to Serena's words as she walked back into the house. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Williams. How very nice to meet you...How do you do, Mrs. Williams?...Your home is very lovely and your son is great in bed-NO! Don't say that! Should I shake their hands or hug them? Maybe I should curtsy...nah, too over the top."

Darien and Serena looked at each other and started laughing. "I take it this is the first time she's meeting the parents?" she asked wryly.

"I don't know what she's so nervous about. She's been out with a ton of guys before and have met their parents. I don't see why this Nathan is any different," said Darien.

"Perhaps she's finally found the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with," Serena reflected.

"How about you? Were you ever nervous about meeting your old boyfriends' parents?" Darien asked.

Serena blushed and looked down. "The boys I went out with weren't special enough for me to go through the trouble of meeting their parents. Besides, my 'relationships' never lasted long enough for either of us to meet each other's parents."

Darien wondered over this as he silently flipped over the burgers. He shrugged to himself and turned back to the grill. "Okay everyone, dinner is served!" he announced.

Everyone rushed forth, plates in hand and appetites whetted. There was food for all, including corn on the cob, potato salad, burgers and hot dogs, and the apple pie that Serena had begged her mom to make, despite Lita's protests that she could make one for her. Serena pilled on the food, regardless of her brother's teasing and managed to polish off two slices of apple pie a la mode. By the time they were done with their feast, Walter had unbuttoned the top of his pants rather impolitely in Candace's opinion, Darien was having difficulty breathing and Sammy was almost retching in his seat. Even Candace and Ilene were looking a little green around the gills. The only one who managed to escape indigestion unscathed was Serena, who was used to consuming enormous amounts of food on a daily basis. Darien looked at her in amazement, wondering how she could be calmly sitting in her chair when everybody else was dropping like flies. Serena felt eyes boring into her forehead and looked up to see Darien staring at her. "What?" she asked innocently.

He smirked and shook his head. "Nothing, just wondering how come you're not chugging the Pepto Bismol when you ate more than all of us put together, that's all."

Serena scoffed at him. "Rookie. My ironclad stomach is the product of many years of hard work, practice and stamina. Not many people can achieve this phenomenal feat but, through sheer will and the support of friends and family, I persevered and prevailed."

Sammy and Walter managed a snort with great difficulty but Serena chose to ignore them. 'If Sammy's not careful, he's going to turn sixty years old before his next birthday.'

"I have a wonderful idea!" exclaimed Candace. "Why don't we go down to the park this evening and watch the fireworks display over by the lake?"

Serena's face lit up. "Fireworks? Sure! I love fireworks!"

Walter groaned and patted his stomach lightly. "I don't know if I can stand up...so full."

Serena stuck out her bottom lip and turned her 'puppy face' towards Walter. "Please, Mr. Shields? It won't be the same without you."

Walter frowned and tried in vain to harden his heart to her pitiful whimpering. "Oh alright, girlie. I'll go, I'll go. Just stop that pitiful noise."

Serena raised her eyebrow at Darien and grinned. "Works every time."

"I'll bet it does," Darien replied, shaking his head and laughing along with her.

**********************************

When night had fallen, the Shields and Mathis families headed to the park and walked to a hill overlooking the lake. Already, numerous families had gathered on the hill, making picking out the perfect spot quite difficult. They finally found one at the very bottom of the hill close to the lake and laid out their blankets. To Serena, it seemed preordained that she and Darien ended up sharing a blanket together-that, or it had Candace and Ilene's doing all along. Of course, neither one of them had minded as they lay down side by side, looking at the stars and waiting for the fireworks show to begin.

They lay in companionable silence, both afraid to break the spell the night had wrought. The breeze blew over the lake, the cool night air causing Serena to shiver in her thin shirt. Darien, who lay beside her with one arm behind his head for support, noticed her trembling and cursed himself for not thinking about bringing a jacket with him. "You cold, Sere?" he asked lightly, trying to control the longing in his voice.

"Kind of," she replied just as lightly, not looking at him.

"Come here," Darien said, stretching out his other arm and beckoning her over to him.

Serena took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an effort to stop the hammering of her heart. She scooted over to him and laid her head on his shoulder, shivering one last time but knowing that it wasn't from the cold. Serena felt Darien's outstretched arm wrap around her and settle on her back, holding her tightly. From his position, Darien could feel Serena's heart beating as she curled her body against his and laid her hand on his chest. Both were silent as the fireworks lit up the night sky, oblivious to the cheers of the crowd around them. Neither noticed their mothers exchanging sly looks from across their blankets.

~~*End flashback*~~

"I don't understand, Serena. From what you've been telling me, you've been making remarkable progress with Darien. What changed?" Dr. Eisner asked.

"Well, when my mom and Sammy left the next day, I had to devote my time to Mr. Potts's rehabilitation and also Amy's wedding, which was on the fifteenth, ten days away. Darien also had some work to make up for he had taken five days off to be with us. His company was also in the midst of a big merger deal, so he was really busy. Between our jobs and other commitments, we hardly saw each other in the days leading up to the wedding. He would come home really late at night, sometimes after I've fallen asleep. On the days where he came home at a reasonably early hour, he'd be so tired, he'd just about collapse on the couch. Sometimes I'd be out late too, helping Amy make arrangements for the wedding and having last-minute fittings," Serena explained.

"So, things had cooled off for you two, I take it?"

"A bit. Those few days had been hectic to say the least. Two days before the wedding, my friend Raye, her husband Justin and their infant daughter Kayla arrived from back home and were staying at Amy's apartment for the next four days, so of course, I had to spend time with them. I guess the merger was taking its toll on Darien because he started to look tired and haggard with heavy bags under his eyes. He was popping Tylenols like they were candy. His mother started to worry about him, but he would just shrug it off, saying that the deal was going to be wrapped up the week after the wedding," Serena said, pausing momentarily to take a sip of water that the doctor had gotten for her at the start of the session.

"I don't know how he did it, but he managed to clear his schedule to attend Zachary's bachelor party the night before the wedding. I kept telling him not to go and get some rest, but he just swallowed four Tylenols and said that he would be back later on in the evening. I remember I couldn't sleep that night...pre-wedding jitters. I know, I know, it's not even my wedding but I wanted Amy's day to go off without a hitch that I kept myself up all night going over everything that could possibly go wrong...."

~~*Flashback*~~

Serena tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. 'Ugh! I've been trying to fall asleep for the past hour and a half but as soon as I feel my eyelids start drooping, a new worry enters my mind.' She glanced at the clock and saw that it was already quarter after midnight. 'I know, I'll go downstairs and warm up some milk. That always knocks me out.' Having made up her mind, Serena slipped her terry robe over her tank top and shorts and made her way to the kitchen silently.

Serena reached the kitchen and opened the fridge door, searching for the milk. She poured some into a saucepan and placed it on the stove. 'I sure hope all those rumours about Lita being a tad overprotective when it comes to her pots and pans aren't true. Oh well, if I'm going to get in trouble with Lita I may as well pull out all the stops and have some cookies too.' She searched the cupboards for the oatmeal raisin cookies she knew Lita had made the day before and found them hidden in the furthest corner of the pantry in a jar marked 'Flour', behind an actual bag of it. 'Lita, Lita, Lita. Did you think your little ruse was enough to stop me? It seems that you have underestimated me, my friend.'

When the milk was warm, she poured it into a glass and set it on the table beside the plate of cookies. 'I wonder where Zach and the guys are. Amy's going to be so pissed if she finds out that they went to a strip club, even after she made him promise not to go to one.'

Suddenly she heard the front door close and heavy footsteps making it's way to the kitchen. Serena pulled her robe tighter around her and made sure it wasn't open. 'I bet it's Darien,' she thought. Sure enough, Darien staggered through the door, having tripped on his own foot. Serena raised her eyebrow and smiled slightly to herself. "Have fun?" she asked.

Darien jumped and whipped his head towards the direction the voice came from. "Geez Serena, don't scare me like that!" he yelped.

Serena chuckled. "How could I have scared you? The lights are on, for goodness' sake." Darien sat down beside her and took the cookie in her hand and ate it. "Hey! I was eating that!"

"Tough," he grunted.

"So where did you guys go?" Serena asked, helping herself to her fourth cookie.

"Bar."

"That's good. If you guys went to a strip club, Amy would've tanned Zach's hide," she replied. "Did you get drunk?"

"Nah, only had three beers," he replied, although his eyes looked a bit glassy in Serena's view. But it was only three beers and Darien was a man who knew how to handle his liquor so Serena dismissed it as fatigue.

"So...are you taking anyone to the wedding tomorrow?" Serena asked casually, her stomach twisting in knots as she waited for his answer.

"No, however there _is_ this one girl I've wanted to ask out for the longest time now but have been too chicken to actually do it," Darien replied. Serena's heart sank as she digested the news.

"I've been in love with her for some time now and I'm pretty sure that she feels the same way as me but I haven't made a move yet. She's the sweetest thing in the world and I love her with all my heart," he continued, not looking at her.

Serena felt tears of hopelessness prick her eyes. She struggled to breathe, to maintain her outward look of calm and poise. "Oh?" was all she could muster at her present state.

Darien smiled at her and looked like he had just come up with a brilliant idea. "I think you know her, Sere. Maybe you could put in a good word for me."

At this, her heart truly sank but she forced herself not to show him. Serena squared her shoulders and sat up straight. "Of course, Darien. What...what's her name?" she asked stoically.

"Oh, you know, she has the most beautiful hair and the perfect eyes-everything about her is virtually perfect. I think about her day and night; I even dream about her. I dream about going out with her, someday getting married and raising kids-"

"WHAT'S... her name, Darien?" Serena interrupted, unable to hear anymore about the woman that had stolen Darien's heart.

"It's the perfect name for her...Serenity, because every time she's near, I feel at peace," he replied.

"That's an unusual name. In fact, the only other person whose name is Serenity is..." Serena trailed off, not wanting to get her hopes up.

"You."

Serena gasped, tears coming to her eyes. 'It's not possible. He couldn't possibly be talking about me,' she thought wildly. Yet there he was, smiling lovingly at her with a look of longing in his eyes. "Darien?" she asked uncertainly. Darien cupped her face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe her tears away.

"It's you, Sere. It's always been you," he whispered.

"Oh Darien!" she cried, flinging herself into his waiting arms. "Do...do you really mean it?"

"Yes Serena, I really mean it," he responded. Serena could feel him nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Say the words."

"I love you, Serenity Beulah Mathis. Do you feel the same way about me?" he asked.

"Yes, Darien Beauford Shields. I've loved you from the moment we met," she whispered, turning her face towards his and looking into his eyes, hazy with emotion. He leaned his face closer and captured her lips with his own. They kissed passionately, pouring all their pent up feelings for each other into that kiss. Darien pulled her onto his lap without breaking them apart and ran his tongue over her lips, asking her to let him in. Serena obliged, and soon, felt him exploring her mouth with a gentle finesse borne from experience.

They pulled apart as the need for air became overwhelming. They stared into each other's eyes, their breathing heavy and their lips bruised. Serena felt alive once more, her head whirling with excitement and her body once again responding to a man's touch. Darien ran his thumb across her bottom lip, his other hand stroking her lower back. Serena opened her mouth, pulling his thumb into her mouth with her tongue. Darien moaned as Serena sucked on his thumb, looking at him with hooded eyes. When Darien could take no more, he gently pulled his thumb out and kissed her lips before placing his arm under her knees. Darien stood up with Serena in his arms, holding her close to him. Serena snaked her arms around his neck and played with his hair.

"Darien, where are we going?" she asked.

"To our room," he replied, pushing the door open with his foot and carrying her through the hall.

Serena smiled, touched. 'Our room. It sounds so right.' She buried her face against him, and trailed small kisses from the crook of his neck to his earlobe. She vaguely heard Darien growl. "If you don't stop that Sere, I'm afraid I may not make it to our room," he gasped.

They managed to get to the top of the stairs without incident and were soon at the door to Darien's room. He set her down gently and opened the door. "Are you sure you want to do this, Sere? We don't have to if you're not ready."

Serena reached up to stroke his cheek. "I'm sure, Darien. I've been ready for you for a long time. Make love to me," she said softly.

They entered the room silently, not bothering to turn on the lights as they began to slowly undress each other. Darien untied her robe and let it fall to the floor in a puddle around her feet. Serena began to unbutton his shirt as he slid his hands under her tank top. She moaned as Darien cupped her breasts and began to gently knead them. By this time, Serena had managed to undo all the buttons and Darien had to reluctantly take his hands away so that she could slip it off. He watched with darkened eyes as Serena began to move her hands over his rippled muscles, then putting her hands on the bottom of her tank top and slowly peeling it off, revealing the breasts that he had been fantasizing about ever since she moved in.

"Darien..." she breathed as he leaned in and took her left breast in his mouth. She held him in place firmly with her left hand while the other hand pleasured her right breast. Serena felt Darien's hand sliding down her back and into the waistband of her shorts, before moving down to her bottom and massaging it.

Soon, they had divested each other of the rest of their clothing and were laying on the bed with Darien hovering over her. Serena could feel his throbbing manhood on her thigh and shivered with desire. She looked into his eyes intently, noting that they had turned into a darker shade of blue. "Don't hurt me, Darien," she whispered, a host of other meanings behind her words.

"Never Sere. I would never hurt you," he whispered as he guided himself to her entrance. "I love you, Sere."

"I love you too, Dare," she managed to gasp as he pushed himself in. No other words were said between them as he slowly began to set up a pace. Serena wrapped her legs around his waist and met him as he thrust into her, forcing him in deeper. Soon, Darien could feel her walls tightening and knew that it wouldn't be long before her release.

"Oh...Darien. Ugh, so good," she gasped. Then with a low moan she orgasmed, pulling Darien over the edge with her. He fell forward on his elbows to avoid crushing her with his weight, and felt his seed spilling forth into her. He gently pulled out and rolled over next to her, pulling the blanket over them and wrapping a possessive arm around her waist.

"I love you, Serena," he whispered into her ear as he fell asleep. Serena murmured in reply, cuddling up to him for warmth and falling asleep.

***********************************

Serena woke up early the next morning and once again experienced that same, disoriented feeling she got when she first arrived. For a second, she didn't know where she was but one look at her waist reminded her of the night before. 'Did I really just make love to Darien last night?' she thought. As if to confirm her suspicions, Serena drew the covers back to reveal a slumbering Darien with his arm still wrapped protectively around her waist and smiled. 'He looks just like a little boy when he sleeps. I've been dying to do this for a long time,' she thought as she brushed his hair from his face. She couldn't resist placing a small kiss on his slightly open mouth before she gently pried his arm off of her.

'It's already 9 in the morning and I promised Amy and Raye that I would go over there to help out with last minute stuff,' she thought as she gingerly stepped out of bed and searched for her robe. 'I really hate to leave him without telling him where I'm going but I don't want to wake him up either. Darien's been working so hard over the past week; he deserves to rest.' She tiptoed to his desk and found some paper and a pen. Quickly, she scribbled out a note and left it on the pillow where she had been lying.

Serena opened the door and peered out in the hallway to make sure nobody was around and escaped to her room. 'It's not that I'm ashamed to have slept with Darien, far from it. I just want to keep our life private for now.' She showered, not bothering to blast the hot water as much as she used to. 'I feel my life turning around now. I hope you're burning in hell for what you've done to me, Jake Cassidy. You were wrong, you lying bastard. There _is_ someone who loves me almost as much as I love him.'

She stepped out of the shower and hurriedly changed. 'Yikes, it's already nine thirty. If I don't hurry my ass up, Raye's going to kill me.' She rushed downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a slice of toast on the way out the door.

"Hey girlie!" she heard Walter call just as she stepped outside.

"Yes, Mr. Shields?"

Walter hesitated. "Er...how are you this morning?" he asked.

Serena smiled mysteriously. "Never better, why do you ask?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing, nothing. It's just...where's Darien?"

She shrugged. "I guess he's still asleep. I didn't hear him moving around in his room while I was getting ready."

"Oh...well, where are you off to this morning?" he pressed.

"I promised to go over to Amy's to help her get ready. The wedding's only a few hours away and we still have a ton of work to do. There's our hair and makeup, getting dressed, making sure that church and banquet hall are decorated, the florist has the bouquets, the photographer will be on time, the food is ready..." Serena trailed off as she glanced at her watch. "Listen Mr. Shields, I really have to go now otherwise we'll run behind schedule. I'll be happy to speak with you all you want after the wedding, but I'm really going to be late at this point."

Walter just nodded his head in resignation. "All right, girlie. Just...be careful, okay?"

Serena smiled, touched at the old man's concern. "I will, Mr. Shields. Thanks."

She jumped in her car and raced to Amy's apartment with lightening speed. When she got there, she found Amy running around in her bathrobe with her mother not far behind, Kayla crying in her mother's arms and Justin nowhere to be found. "Hey guys, what's going on?"

Raye looked up at the new arrival. "Well, thank you for gracing us with your presence finally. Amy's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off because she lost her earring, Kayla woke up in a bad mood and Justin ditched us to play a round of golf with Mr. Anderson and Zach, that no-good slacker."

"Oh, poor little Kayla woke up in a bad mood? Come here to Auntie Sere, kiddie," she cooed as she took the baby from Raye, freeing her to grab some breakfast.

"So Serena, how come you're late?" asked Raye.

Serena tried to stop the blush from spreading across her face. "I overslept, that's all."

Raye sighed. "Figures," she muttered into her cup of coffee. Serena sent a silent prayer to the heavens thanking God for making Raye miss the telltale blush. 'If she finds out that Darien and I slept together last night, she's never going to stop teasing me about it, then we'll never get anything done cuz I'd have to kill her."

Amy finally found her earring in her robe pocket where she had placed it earlier for safekeeping. "You guys, I'm so nervous," she said.

Raye's mouth turned into a teasing grin. "Really, I hadn't noticed."

"Yeah Amy, you're the picture of calm today," Serena added as she and Raye started laughing.

"Aw, shut up and get going. We have to get our hair done in twenty minutes," grumbled Amy, ignoring the peals of laughter coming not only from her two best friends, but now, also her mother.

************************************

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" Serena heard Mr. Anderson ask his daughter behind her.

Amy breathed in shakily. "As ready as I'll ever be," she replied.

"Don't worry Ames. You'll do great. Zach's a great guy, and if he's not...well, let's just say that Raye and I will have to do some serious ass-kicking," she reassured her friend.

Raye turned around and faced Serena and Amy. "Don't forget Justin. He'd want a piece of the action too if anybody hurts his 'little sisters.'" They all smiled at that, for they knew how overprotective Justin could be when it came to Raye, Serena and Amy. He once took a baseball bat to some punk who had been hassling to the point of stalking Serena for a date when she was in university. Needless to say, the punk never bothered Serena again after he saw that she was under the protection of the star linebacker of the school football team. He really was the big brother that Serena and Amy never had.

"Don't forget about me, sweetie. As your father, I get first dibs on the man who hurt my little girl," Mr. Anderson replied. Serena felt tears come to her eyes as she watched Amy and her father speaking softly to each other as they waited for the ceremony to start. 'Daddy will never get to see me walk down the aisle and it's all Jake's fault.'

Suddenly, the doors were thrown open and the music began. Zach's six-year old niece walked out first, leaving white rose petals in her wake. Amy's cousin's four-year old son walked behind her, carrying a little satin pillow atop which were the rings. Raye followed the children escorted by Amy's first cousin. She winked at Justin sitting in the pew, who held a sleeping Kayla in his arms. He winked back and pretended to growl at the guy on her arm. Raye giggled like a schoolgirl and walked away, pretending to ignore him. Serena followed Raye a few seconds later and saw the whole thing. She caught Justin's gaze and rolled her eyes at his antics. He shrugged flippantly and smiled boyishly.

That was when Serena noticed Darien sitting with his parents a few pews away from Justin. Their eyes met and they smiled privately at each other. Serena felt a blush creep along her face as her partner walked her towards the altar, where Zach was waiting anxiously. Just then, the music changed and everyone rose on their feet. Amy walked slowly down the aisle, escorted by her father, never taking her eyes off Zach. A shy smile tugged on her lips and a rosy blush tinted her cheeks. Serena thought she looked every inch a bride.

"Dearly beloved," the priest began. Serena drowned him out and escaped in her own world, one where it was herself standing in Amy's place with Darien by her side. 'I can't wait for that day when we're here getting married. I wonder what our children will look like,' she thought dreamily.

Serena had been lost in her flight of fancy that she almost missed Amy and Zach exchanging rings and vows. She sniffled, happy for her friend and also happy that she too was going to experience the joy that Amy was feeling someday. She saw Amy's mother crying tears of joy and her ex-husband take her hand in an effort to comfort her. Serena felt her eyebrows rise at that. 'Wow. Weddings really do bring out emotions in people. They could barely stand each other after the divorce, now they're sitting side-by-side and seeking comfort in one another. I guess love is really in the air,' she thought. Scanning the heads and faces of the many guests in attendance, Serena felt her eyes drawn to that of a dark-haired man in a dark blue suit. She felt Darien staring at her with such intensity that it was a wonder he didn't bore a hole through her. Serena felt Raye elbow her in the ribs. "Pay attention," she hissed. Serena blushed furiously and turned away from Darien, although she could still feel him staring at her.

The priest went on for a few more minutes until he finally got to the part everyone wanted to hear. "What God has put together, let no man tear asunder. By the power vested in me by God and the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Serena gripped Raye's arm in anticipation as she watched Zach slowly bring Amy's face to his in a tender kiss. They broke apart, eyes glazed and tears running down their cheeks. The guests clapped as they made their way down the aisle together and rushed to their limo. It was time for the reception to begin.

***************************************

Serena sat at the presidential table listening to Zach's brother making fun of all his bad habits and 'preparing' her for what a life with Zach is going to be like. The crowd laughed as Zach put his head in his hands after his brother revealed that he was a bed wetter until the age of nine, when their mother had forced him to sleep on plastic sheets after getting fed up with the extra laundry she had to do each week. Serena laughed and once again found herself looking for Darien's face in the crowd. She saw him sitting with his parents and some old people she knew were Amy's great aunt and uncle. He noticed her looking at him and grinned boyishly. He rolled his eyes toward the old couple, who were no doubt regaling him with stories about the many trips they had taken across the country in their Winnebago. Serena smiled and mock glared at him, mouthing the word 'behave.'

Finally, after the speeches were done, the four-course meal had been served, and Amy had her dances with her father and new husband, the DJ announced that it was time for dancing. Everyone cheered and headed out on the dance floor. Serena got up and noticed Darien had also stood up from his spot at the table. They walked towards each other and met in the middle of the dance floor.

"Would you care to have a dance with me, milady?" Darien asked courteously, bowing slightly at her.

Serena smiled and curtsied slightly. "Of course, milord." They laughed and Darien pulled her into his arms. They danced silently in each other's arms; relishing the feel of being held by the one they loved. Suddenly, a lady knocked into Serena, spilling her champagne all over the front of Serena's dress.

"Oh dear!" the lady exclaimed. "I'm really sorry about that. Please forgive me."

"That's okay," Serena replied, in such a good mood that she was ready to forgive the world. "I'll just go to the restroom to blot this out. Wait for me?" she asked Darien.

"Sure Sere. I'll be over by the water fountain," he replied, pointing to a water fountain around the corner from the ladies' room. "I just want to make a quick phone call to Drew and see how his vacation went."

Serena nodded and proceeded to the ladies' room where she wet a paper towel and tried to blot out the stain caused by the champagne. 'I'm so lucky that Darien loves me. Now I just have to tell him about my past. I'm sure he'll be understanding.' She smiled at her reflection, convinced that her life was changing for the better. Serena walked out the door and towards the water fountain where Darien had said he would be. She could hear him talking to his friend Drew, asking him about his vacation. 'I have to meet this guy soon. I mean he _is_ Darien's friend and we are in love with each other. Besides, Darien's met all my friends, even my family. It's time I meet his friends.'

Serena paused to pick up the handkerchief she had dropped and froze at Darien's words.

"Yeah Drew, I'm telling you, I had the best fuck of my life last night, and I don't even remember who it was...What do you mean, how can I not remember? I drank four Tylenols before I left for the bachelor party, then two more when we got to the bar. How was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to mix alcohol and Tylenol? I guess I picked up some slut at the bar and took her home. She was gone by the time I woke up but she left me a note saying, and I quote: 'you were great last night. Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, but I'm terribly busy this morning. Anyway, I'll see you later. I love you.' She loves me? I don't know who this person is, but there's only one person I love and that's..." Darien's voice faded off as Serena ran back into the ladies' room, wiping away angry tears.

'You stupid girl, you fell for it again. When are you going to realize that 'I love you' is equal to 'I want to sleep with you'?" Well, he sure as hell isn't going to find out that it was me he slept with last night, not if I can help it. Just do your job and stay away from Darien Shields. Don't let him see you cry," she told her reflection firmly. She blinked rapidly, trying to stop the flow of tears that threatened to spill over. Serena took a deep breath, and then walked calmly out of the washroom, assuming the cold mask she had worn the last ten years of her life. 'It's good to be back.'

"Hey Sere!" Darien called. "You want to continue our dance before we got so rudely interrupted?"

Serena turned cold, indifferent eyes towards him. "No thanks, Darien. I see Raye over there and I think she wants to talk to me. Why don't you go find some other woman to dance with?" She didn't even wait for a response before leaving him and walking in Raye's direction.

A few minutes later, the DJ stopped the music despite the groans from the dancers. "Relax folks, the bride has just informed me that it's time for the bouquet toss so all you single ladies gather round in front of the stage and try not to knock out your neighbour's teeth, okay?"

The women squealed in delight and fought their way to the front of the stage. Raye, who had been standing beside her, whispered, "why aren't you rushing over there, Sere? Come on, it's tradition. Besides, you might just be the one to catch it."

"Not if I can help it," Serena muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Raye asked as she rocked Kayla to sleep.

"Nothing."

"So go on, already. Amy's already on the stage."

"Fine." Serena rose with a huff and walked to the very back of the group. She watched as Amy turned around and tossed the bouquet towards the crowd. All the ladies screamed and fought each other to get it while Serena stood motionless, eyeing the flowers as they sailed towards her.

"Catch it Sere!" she heard Justin yell. She watched as the bouquet made its way down to her, waiting to be caught in her outstretched arms. But it was not meant to be for Serena had sidestepped the bouquet and allowed it to fall on the floor. Everyone watched as she picked it up and tossed it back to the other women, who were more than eager to fight for it once more.

"I got it!" a triumphant redhead crowed. Serena rolled her eyes and stalked back to where Raye and Justin were sitting.

"Why didn't you catch the bouquet, Sere? It was headed right for you," Raye asked gently.

Serena raised her eyebrow and gave her a look that sent chills down her spine. "Marriage is not for me. I've lived for a long time without a man, I think I can survive without one."

"What about Darien?" Raye asked.

"Especially Darien," she muttered contemptuously.

Justin narrowed his eyes and focused on Darien, who was staring at Serena with obvious worry in his eyes. "Did he do something to you, because if he did, it's just a few minutes to Amy's apartment. I could drive there and back with a bat in my hands in less than ten minutes." Justin began to reach into his pocket to fish out Amy's keys. He didn't like hearing that someone had hurt Sere, whom he loved like a sister.

Serena reached out a hand to stop him. "It's okay Justin, I'm fine. I'm a big girl now. Do you guys mind if I crash with you at Amy's place until you guys leave? I haven't seen you guys in months and we hardly got a chance to talk over the past few days," she said indifferently.

Raye and Justin looked at each other worriedly. "Sure Sere, I'm sure Amy won't mind if you spend the night in her place. Justin can sleep on the couch, right honey?" Justin nodded his assent.

"No, that's okay. I'll take the couch. It's too small for Justin anyway. I probably won't be getting much sleep anyway, we have a lot to catch up on," she replied softly. "I think it's time for Amy and Zach to be leaving on their honeymoon."

Sure enough, said couple had already changed into more casual clothes in a back room somewhere in the building. Amy ran up to them and gave them all big hugs, oblivious to Serena's change in attitude or Raye and Justin's worried faces.

"Bye guys. Raye, Serena, thanks for everything. I couldn't have done it without you. Justin thanks so much for coming. I know you had a ton of work to do back in Toronto and I really appreciate you coming all this way just to see me get married," Amy gushed as she hugged all three of them.

"_Just_ to see your wedding? What kind of a big brother would I be if I didn't at least screen the man that's going to marry you? Of course I would come to see you get married, sis. And let me just say that you made a beautiful bride," Justin said as he hugged her back.

Serena smiled genuinely, even though it wasn't one of her trademark smiles. "I'm so happy for you, Ames. I know Zach will make your dreams come true," she whispered in Amy's ear.

Amy and Zach held hands as they turned to their guests and waved goodbye. The limo was outside waiting to take them to the airport where they will spend two weeks in Hawaii for their honeymoon. The party resumed full blast and Serena did a decent job avoiding Darien by greeting the other guests and talking with Amy's relatives. When the party broke up a few hours later, Serena felt a presence behind her and knew instantly that it was Darien.

"Is there something I can do for you, Darien?" she asked coolly without turning around.

Darien hesitated. "Um...do you want a ride back to the house? I know that you came here in the limo with Amy and Raye so you probably don't have a ride back."

"No thanks, I decided just a few hours ago that I'm going to spend the night at Amy's with Raye and Justin," Serena replied, finally turning around to face him. She noticed the look of confusion in his eyes as he tried to figure out what had brought about this hostility directed towards him.

"Well, do you want me to drive you to the house so you could pick up some clothes?" he asked.

"No thanks," she said before turning around and walking away from him without looking back.

~~*End flashback*~~

Dr. Eisner was frowning intently as he listened to her tale. 'It couldn't be...'

"That night, I told Raye what happened between Darien and me and what I overheard him saying at the party. We didn't know that Justin had overheard us talking when he got out of bed to get a drink. All of a sudden, Justin appeared at the door with Zach's baseball bat in his hand and threatening to go over to Darien's house to 'knock a few memories back into his head with the aid of a Louisville Slugger.' It took Raye and I about twenty minutes to talk him out of it," Serena finished.

Dr. Eisner cleared his throat nervously. "So what's happened since then?"

"I've been avoiding Darien as much as possible. It's not easy since we live in the same house and sleep in the same wing. I was just some fuck to him. He told me he loved me to get me to sleep with him, telling me that I was always the one he wanted when he thought I was just some slut he picked up at the bar! I hate him and most of all, I hate myself because I still love him. I wish to God I had never met Darien Shields," Serena whispered brokenly.

Dr. Eisner bit back gasp. "I thought you said his last name was Potts?" he asked evenly.

Serena shook her head. "I changed their names to protect their privacy. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't trust you, but, you know..."

"I understand, Serena. It's okay," Dr. Eisner murmured. 'I understand now perfectly.'

He was just about to say something when the intercom buzzed. "I'm sorry to interrupt Dr. Eisner, but Mrs. Cook has been waiting for fifteen minutes for her appointment already," said Janice the receptionist.

"That's all right Janice. Tell her that I'll only be a few minutes longer," Dr. Eisner replied. "I'm sorry that we've been interrupted Serena. Do you want me to write you a refill for your anti-depressants?"

Serena shook her head adamantly. "No. I've stopped taking them. I won't feel sorry for myself any longer. Why should I? I have a loving family, supportive friends and fulfilling work. What more could I ask for? Thank you for seeing me today, Dr. Eisner. I'll make an appointment with Janice next week," she said.

Dr. Andrew Eisner, better known as Drew to his friends and family, watched Serena saunter out the door with her head held high and her shoulders square. How did he get into this mess? 'I can't tell Darien that he slept with Serena, that's a violation of the doctor-patient confidentiality privilege. I can't tell Serena that I know Darien or her trust of men will completely shatter, if it hasn't already. What do I do?'

********************************

A few weeks later, Serena was in the pool with Walter, helping him do a few stretches. She had been silent for the most part of their exercise and Walter was beginning to wonder about it.

"Girlie?" he asked with a softness in his voice that even he didn't know he possessed. "What's got you so down?"

"Nothing, Mr. Shields. Why do you ask?" replied Serena as she stretched Walter's arm behind his back.

"You're just not your usual chatty self, that's all. You've been like this ever since the wedding. Is it the boy?" he pressed, eyeing her so that she knew what he was talking about.

Serena snapped her head up in surprise. She knew that the answer was written all over her face. Just as she was about to question him on what he knew, Molly rushed into the poolroom, her face flushed from having to search for Serena.

"I'm sorry to barge in like this sir, but it's Serena's brother on the phone. He says it's urgent," she said breathlessly.

Worry etched on her face as she picked up the phone on the bar. "Hello? Sammy? What's wrong?"

"Sere, you have to come home. It's mama. The cancer is back and this time, it's spread to her bones," Sammy whispered over the line.

Serena inhaled sharply. Her mother had been in remission for six years from ovarian cancer. "How long?" she asked hoarsely.

"The doctors gave her two months at the most. Please hurry Sere. She's been asking about you," he pleaded. Serena could almost hear the vulnerable four-year-old boy who had asked her to protect him from the monsters under his bed.

"I'll be there tonight," she replied as she hung up the phone. Serena turned to Walter, who had been trying not to listen to her conversation, and said, "I'm requesting a leave of absence Mr. Shields. My mother is dying and I have to go back home to be with her. I'll make some phone calls from Toronto about finding a replacement for me for about two months, possibly longer, but right now, I have to start packing."

"Don't worry about finding me a replacement, girlie. Just worry about your mother. Tell her...that Candace and I are praying for her," Walter said.

Serena nodded. "Thank you Mr. Shields. It means a lot to me."

Walter watched her run to the door with her robe tied around her. She looked both ways before leaving the room, obviously on the look out for Darien. 'I wonder what's happened between them since he came home from that bachelor party and I saw them kissing in the kitchen? Oh Darien, why did you have to hurt her?'

************************************************************************

Started June 6, 2002, finished June 7, 2002.

All right, kill me now not only for the late update, but for also dragging this story out just a little longer. Would you all hate me if I put this story on hold indefinitely? Just joking folks, no need to send the flames of wrath my way. I want this story to finish just as badly as you do. Tell me what you think of this chapter, please!

For those of you who still hadn't figured it out, the pills Serena was taking are anti-depressants which I mentioned in the last chapter.