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Wounded Souls

Chapter Ten-Missed Opportunities

By: ~crystal~rose{@

June 14, 2002

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*11 am*

Darien sighed as he passed by Serena's bedroom door on his way to the stairs. 'It's been practically two months and we haven't heard anything about when she's coming back,' he thought as he laid a hand upon her door. He has a recurring fantasy that one day, he would open the door to Serena's room and find her standing on the balcony.

In his fantasy, she turns around at the sudden noise and sees him standing at the door. Serena cries out in surprise and then rushes into his astonished arms when the shock wears off. Serena tells him how much she's missed him and he in turn, professes his undying love for her. Then they fall on the bed laying in each other's arms-not making love; that will come later-thankful just to be reunited once again. As he had done day after day, Darien opened the door and was once again treated to the sight of an empty room. He closed the door, and fought the urge to scream in frustration.

He raked his hand through his hair as he started down the stairs. He spotted Molly in the foyer, arranging freshly cut roses in a crystal vase on the hall table. "Hey Molly, do you know where my parents are?" he asked.

Molly gave a start and turned around to face him. "Goodness Darien, you startled me! The last time I saw your parents was when they were in the gym with the new physical trainer. I don't think your father likes him very much," she whispered confidentially.

Darien chuckled and leaned in closer. "What makes you think that?" he asked sarcastically. They shared a laugh as they recalled the numerous physical trainers that came and went in the past eight weeks. "Remember the one that left in tears because dad constantly teased her about her hair?"

Molly nodded her head eagerly. "Your mother was furious with your father for making her cry. I remember he just shrugged and said, 'if she can't take a little constructive criticism, then she's not long for this world. I just told her that her perm is too tight and that she looked like an overgrown poodle standing on its hind legs. How was I supposed to know that it was naturally curly?' She was the fourth one in two weeks that he tried out. I think Mr. Shields has exhausted the list that Dr. Anderson-I mean Dr. Harris-gave him. This new guy is the last one the list," she said knowingly.

Darien shook his head in amazement. Sometimes the maids knew more about the goings on in his family than he did. "Well, it was nice chatting with you. I'll just head on down to the gym and save the new guy from the wrath of dad."

Molly watched Darien walk away in the direction of the gym. She knew that Serena had been avoiding him in the house; it was obvious to everyone. Every Friday evening, she and her two fellow maids would gather in Lita's room for their weekly poker game/gossip fest. The main topic of discussion would usually be about what had happened between Darien and Serena. Personally, Molly thought that Serena found out about Darien's womanizing and was jealous. Lita, on the other hand, thought they slept together one evening and Darien rejected her the next day. 'I guess we'll never know,' Molly thought before resuming her previous task.

**************************

Darien could hear his father's voice clearly from the outside of the gym. "Listen here, sonny. I will _not_ have another man massaging me. I don't care how professional you think you are, I _won't_do_it!" Walter shouted. Darien entered the gym to find his father standing in front of a tall, muscular man with wavy blond hair and piercing blue eyes.

"WALTER!" cried Candace, who was standing on the other side of the physical trainer, thus blocked from Darien's view. She turned apologetically at the man. "Please excuse my husband Bjorn. He didn't mean to insult you or your work ethics. Why don't we try again tomorrow, right _Walter_?" she said in a tone that brooked no arguments.

Walter crossed his arms stubbornly across his chest and nodded once. "Fine. But I warn you, if you touch me in any way that even _hints_ of a massage, you're out of here."

Bjorn looked tiredly at Candace and sighed. "Of course, Mr. Shields," he intoned in a thick Swedish accent with as much respect as he could muster. "See you tomorrow Mrs. Shields."

Darien nodded a greeting to the retreating man muttering Swedish words, no doubt cursing the day he ever set foot in America and had the unfortunate luck to have to work with Walter Shields. He leaned down and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. "So, I take it that Bjorn isn't working out like we had hoped?" he asked mischievously.

"Bjorn is just fine, dear. Your father is the one who insists on making things hard for everybody. Poor Bjorn just wanted to give your father a massage to soothe his muscles after their work-out but your father chose to react like a baby. He called me down here from the greenhouse in a snit because Bjorn 'touched my person inappropriately.'" Walter crossed his arms in righteous indignation.

"He did! He looked like he was undressing me with his eyes before rubbing my neck and shoulders in a _sexual_ manner," Walter said matter-of-factly to his highly amused son.

Darien was listening to his father trying hard not to burst into laughter. "Are you _sure_ it was sexual, dad? Maybe you're just being too sensitive," he suggested delicately.

"Of _course_ it was sexual! I heard him sigh when his fingers touched my shoulders, like he's been dying to do it all day! I want him gone, Candace!" he roared to his wife.

Candace rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Maybe he was sighing because working with you all day is wearing him down. Maybe he thinks that working with a cantankerous old goat like you isn't worth the money we're paying him!"

"For the money we're paying him, he should be willing to do just about anything I tell him to do," argued Walter.

"Including giving you a massage?" suggested Darien innocently.

Walter shot Darien a look of pure venom, causing him to raise his hands in defense. "Is there something we can do for you, _son_?" he asked irritably.

Darien turned to his mother, trying to appeal to her sympathy. He smiled, maybe even gloated, at his dad when Candace patted his cheek fondly. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be gone most of the day so if someone from work calls, tell them I'm unavailable. The guys and I made plans to take the horses out on a ride around the trails this afternoon," he replied.

"That's fine, dear. Why don't you get Lita to make you boys something to eat while you're out on the trail?" she suggested.

"Already taken care of," Darien said. "I called Lita earlier and asked her to make sandwiches for us. Knowing Lita, she probably packed us a gourmet lunch, complete with silverware and fine china."

The doorbell rang. Soon, Melvin appeared at the gym doors with three men. "Mr. Shields, your guests have arrived," he said respectfully.

"Melvin, how many times have I told you to call me Darien?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. Melvin flushed and adjusted his glasses nervously.

"Um, by my count sir, sixty-four," he answered meekly. Darien laughed good-naturedly and patted Melvin on the back, causing him to stagger into Drew.

"Uh, sorry about that Mel," Darien apologized as he helped Melvin up. Greg elbowed Chad in the ribs to stop him from laughing at the poor butler who was desperately trying to regain his dignity.

"That's quite all right, sir-I mean Darien," Melvin answered.

"Why hello Mrs. Shields. I must say I didn't expect to see you here in the gym," Chad exclaimed, pretending to have just noticed Candace.

"Oh, and why is that, Chad?" she asked, the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips.

"Well, it's just that you're already so beautiful I can't imagine there being any more room for improvement," he flirted shamelessly. Darien rolled his eyes and was about to say something when Walter cut him off.

"Don't you have a horse to ride, _boy_?"

Candace bit back the urge to laugh. It never hurts to have men fawning over you, no matter what the age. "Come now, Walter dear, Chad was just being his normal polite self, weren't you dear?"

"Yes ma'am. And may I just complement you on your-" Chad couldn't finish his sentence because Darien and Drew began hauling him out the door. "It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Shields," he called behind him. A resounding smack echoed off the walls, undoubtedly delivered by Darien.

"How many times have I told you _not_ to flirt with my mother?"

"I can't help it, Darien. Your mom's hot. You know I like older women..." Chad pleaded.

THWAP!

"If you _ever_ say that about my mother, ever again, I swear to God I'm going to kill you," threatened Darien.

"Can a man help it if he happens to notice true beauty?" asked Chad rhetorically.

THWAP!

************************

*11:25 am*

Darien and his friends had been gone for about fifteen minutes already when the doorbell rang yet again. Melvin rushed from his post and threw open the door, only to stare open-mouthed in surprise. Serena stood before him in a loose fitting, empire-waist black dress with an expectant look upon her face.

"Melvin? Can I come in?"

"Oh! Of course, Serena. Where are your bags?" he asked when he snapped out of his trance.

Serena gave him a small grin as she stepped through the door. "I don't have any. Could you please tell me where Mr. and Mrs. Shields are?" she asked in a business-like tone.

"Sure. The last time I saw them, they were in the gym. Would you like me to take you there?" he offered kindly.

"That's okay Melvin. I remember the way," she replied politely.

"That's great. It sure was nice to see you...again," Melvin finished weakly as he realized that she was already gone. He shrugged and went back to work.

Serena made her way to the gym, desperately hoping that she wouldn't run into Darien. She paused outside the gym, listening to Walter and Candace talking inside.

"I told you, that Bjorn tried to take advantage of me," Walter insisted.

"Take advantage of you? Listen dear, I know he's not like Serena but you're just going to have to be a little more adult about this. You can't keep sabotaging your own recovery because you don't like your new physical trainers," Candace said, her patience wearing thin.

"You weren't here when that...that brute tried to get his hands all over me!" sputtered Walter.

"What's this I hear about you sabotaging your recovery, Mr. Shields?" Serena asked, stepping into the gym.

"Serena!" exclaimed Candace. "It's so good to see you! How's your mom?" Serena looked pointedly at her outfit and Candace immediately understood. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. When..."

"Five days ago. We buried her the day before yesterday," she replied tonelessly.

Walter stepped forward and patted her on the back consolingly. "That's too bad, girlie. I know she loved you and your brother very much. I could see it every time she looked at you," he said. Serena bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. "Does this mean..."

"I've decided to move back home, Mr. Shields. I'm really sorry about not giving you advance notice but I was just so preoccupied with mom and the funeral, Sammy..." she trailed off helplessly. "I just came back to get my things."

Candace looked at Serena sadly. "When are you leaving?" she asked.

"My return flight is this afternoon at five," Serena replied, not looking at them. "I have to be at the airport by three because of the traffic and the new rules regarding baggage checking."

Candace put her arm on her husband's shoulder, which she could tell was tensing. "Of course, dear. We understand. Alan could drive you to the airport when you're ready," she offered.

Serena smiled in gratitude, relieved that they weren't asking more questions. "Thank you Candace, Mr. Shields, for the hospitality you've shown me in the months I've been here. If you'll excuse me, I have a lot of packing to do."

"Sure dear. I'll just give your phone a ring when it's lunch time," Candace replied. When Serena was gone, she quickly headed to the phone and dialed an extension number. Walter looked at her curiously. "I'm calling the stable," she explained. "I'm trying to get a hold of Darien to tell him to come back before Serena leaves."

Walter nodded his head in approval. "Good thinking. See if you can convince girlie to stay. I don't want that man's hands on me again," he said, repressing a shudder.

After about thirty seconds, Candace hung up. "They're already gone," she said, her face downcast.

"Well, get that stable hand to chase him down. What's his name again? Frankie?" Walter asked.

"His name is Freddy, dear," his wife replied patiently, "and we can't do that. He took a week off to visit his family in Santa Monica for a wedding or something."

Walter scowled angrily as he tried to contain the growl lodged in his throat. "What do we pay these people for? I have a slew of incompetents trying to bend my body into a pretzel-one of whom tried to sexually harass me, but you couldn't care less about that-and house staff taking weeks off at a time without notifying me!" he yelled.

"The physical trainers we hired were hardly incompetents and Bjorn certainly didn't sexually harass you," Candace informed him. "The staff are entitled to take holidays every now and then. Freddy asked me if I could grant him some time off this week a month ago. I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time so I said yes."

"That's the matter with you, Candace. You're too soft," he grumbled.

"You certainly didn't have any complaints about my being soft last night," she said coyly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Walter coughed as she kissed his earlobe. "Or this morning for that matter. I think all that exercise you do with Bjorn is paying off," she teased.

"Yes...well..." he replied in a high pitched voice before giving in to his wife's seductions. "You always were my sweet Candy, you know that?"

"Damn straight and if I have to fight off Bjorn for your attention, so be it."

Walter kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Bjorn doesn't have anything on you, my dear. He's a bit too tall for me. Why don't we finish this off in our room?"

Candace giggled and tried to look shocked. "Why Mr. Shields, I do believe that you're trying to seduce me. Whatever shall I do?"

"How about me?"

"Mmm, you read my mind. Let's go," she said as she tugged on his hand. They raced to the top of the stairs and slammed their bedroom door shut behind them.

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*12 pm-Shields mansion*

When Serena got to her room, she decided to take a rest before she started packing. Traveling was usually a tiring experience, especially when she would be back on the plane in a few hours, but Serena realized that traveling pregnant was another story. Her body was more fatigued than when she first came here. 'I hope I don't run into Darien today. He's the last person I want to see,' she told herself. Still, she couldn't help but glance at his bedroom door as she was entering hers, and wonder what he was doing.

The phone rang suddenly in the quiet room, startling her and causing her to almost roll off the bed. "Hello?"

"Serena dear, it's Candace. Lita has just informed me that lunch will be ready in a few minutes."

"That's great. I'll be down soon," she answered back and hung up the phone. She rose from the bed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'It's not yet noticeable. It just looks like I gained some weight, nothing more. I can still fit into some of my baggier clothes. I don't think my stomach will really start to get round until the fifth month.'

On her way downstairs, she ran into Molly. "Hey Molly, how are you?" she asked, giving her a hug, being careful not to press her stomach just incase Molly felt it and roused suspicion. She knew about their Friday night poker games although they denied it, and knew that they held gossip sessions while they played.

"I'm doing fine. I heard about your mom and I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I only met her for that week she was here but she was a really nice lady. Now I know where you get it from," Molly said, giving Serena a look over. She noticed that Serena had put on a little weight but didn't say anything, preferring to save it for Friday night's 'poker game'. "So, are you staying here now?"

Serena shook her head and looked down. "No, I just came back to pack up the rest of my things. I'm only here for a few hours; I fly back home this afternoon."

"Already?" Molly asked incredulously. 'Hmm. Why so soon?' she asked herself. "It's too bad you missed Darien. He'll be gone all day."

"Yeah, that's too bad," Serena murmured distractedly. "Listen Moll, I've gotta go; Candace called me down for lunch a few minutes ago. It was nice seeing you again. Say bye to me before I leave, okay?"

"Sure thing, Serena," she replied, watching Serena go down the stairs carefully, hanging on to the banister as if for dear life. 'What _really_ happened between those two?' she wondered to herself.

Serena walked slowly to the dining room, ever on the lookout for a certain raven-haired unwitting father-to-be. 'I can never be too careful, despite what Molly said about him being gone all day. If Darien ever finds out I'm pregnant, I may never see my child after I give birth,' she thought. She finally reached the dining room without incident and found Walter and Candace already seated, waiting for her arrival.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," she apologized as she sat down in her seat. "I ran into Molly and we caught up with each other."

Candace smiled understandingly and handed her a platter of grilled honey garlic chicken breasts, which she took gratefully. "There's no need to apologize, dear. We just got here ourselves."

"Yes. Candace and I 'caught up' with each other too," said Walter, reaching out for Candace's hand. Serena watched husband and wife exchange loving glances and looked down at her lap. 'I feel bad for resenting their happiness with each other but I can't help it. Why can't I find the same kind of happiness?'

Candace noticed Serena looking down and immediately pulled away from her amorous husband. "Walter dear, we've embarrassed Serena," she pointed out. Serena snapped her head up and immediately started to say the contrary. "Nonsense dear, I know how it is with you young people. Darien gets the same way when my husband and I get all lovey-dovey."

Serena's leg twitched at the sound of Darien's name and she twisted the napkin on her lap anxiously. "I just didn't want to intrude on your moment, Candace. I think what you two have is nice, and that everyone should be so lucky," she said, a little wistfully Candace noted. Wanting to change the topic, she turned to Walter, who was just about to start eating. "So Mr. Shields, how's your rehab coming along?"

Walter scowled in remembrance of the weeks that came after she left. "It's coming along fine; I just wish I could say the same for the trainers."

Serena looked at him in concern. "Didn't Amy give you a list of physical trainers that she recommends?" she asked. It wasn't like Amy to forget about a patient in need of care.

"Oh Amy sent us a list, all right," Candace said, interrupting Walter, "but my husband has totally exhausted it. The longest anyone stayed on was four days, and that's only because I begged her to stay until we can find another replacement."

"I don't understand. When I spoke to Amy, she told me that she found the twelve most highly recommended physical trainers in California, Oregon and Nevada." Candace rolled her eyes toward Walter.

"It's not the physical trainers who have a problem, it's my husband. You see, he feels the need to 'challenge' his new trainers constantly so he insults them and annoys them to the point where they're practically begging to be fired. One young man quit when Walter tricked him into eating a hamburger by telling him it was a veggie burger, in spite of the fact that he was a vegetarian."

"Mr. Shields!" admonished Serena. "How could you?" Yet despite her outraged tone, Serena couldn't help but smile a little.

"Ah, you see that Candace, at least _someone_ appreciates a good joke!" Walter exclaimed, pointing to Serena's amused face. "Besides, one hamburger isn't going to kill him; everyone needs a little meat once in a while."

"You just did him a favour, right Mr. Shields?" Serena asked wryly. "But seriously, why have you chased them away?"

Walter shrugged carelessly. "I just wanted to learn something about their personalities, that's all. If they quit because of the way I acted, then they didn't have the right character for the job. I don't work with quitters." Serena nodded her head in understanding.

"I see. It was just a little test for them, huh? Why didn't you pull any of your tricks with me?"

"You're different. There's something about you that tells me you've experienced your fair share of trials and tribulations in your life that a little mischief caused by a grumpy old man isn't going to make you up and leave. In fact, I think it would just make you that much more determined to finish the job," Walter explained astutely.

For the first time in her life, Serena felt as if someone who didn't know about her past understood why she was so determined to prove to herself and the world that she could accomplish anything she put her mind on. She felt like the actions and decisions that led her to this moment were finally being validated, earning her the approval to return into society, free from the cross of shame that she bore. She smiled at Walter in appreciation for his understanding. In an odd way, Serena knew that Walter knew what she was feeling at that very moment because he nodded his head almost imperceptibly.

"So girlie, what are you going to do when you get back home?" Walter asked after a comfortable silence settled upon them.

"Well, my mother left me her house before she died so I'm going to stay there. My aunt has agreed to stay with me for the next few months to help me get settled in. I've taken my old position back at the hospital where I used to work with the understanding that I'm going to get promoted to department head next year when the current head retires," she explained. Before she left for the airport that morning in Toronto, someone from the board of directors at the hospital called her and offered her not only her old job back, but also the promotion to head of the physical therapy department. She was surprised to learn that her aunt had been responsible for this development, having bumped into a board member and learning of the difficulty they had filling Serena's position when she left. Knowing that Serena was pregnant and wasn't sure what she was going to do about her situation, Celeste told the board member that with the right incentive, Serena may be persuaded to take it again.

"I'll pay you triple what that hospital is paying you right now, plus recommend you for a job at Cedars-Sinai once I've recovered," Walter offered in a tone that sounded suspiciously like an order.

Serena bit her lip as she thought about the offer that was just presented before her. Under different circumstances, she would have jumped at the chance, regardless of her situation with Darien. But she had to think about the baby, and the likelihood that he or she would be taken away from her if Darien ever found out she was carrying his child. "I'm sorry Mr. Shields, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn your generous offer down," she replied.

Walter, who had been hoping she would take the offer, wasn't surprised to hear her turn it down. "May I ask why?"

"Well, I just feel like my place is back home with my brother and aunt. Sammy had a really hard time dealing with mom's death and I don't feel right leaving him so soon after she died. We promised mom to support each other before she passed on, and I want to keep that promise," she explained. It was the truth, even though it wasn't the whole truth. She was scared to death at the thought of losing her child, especially after having lost so much already.

Candace nodded and glowered at Walter, whom she could see was about to coerce Serena into changing her mind. Walter took the hint, for once, and decided to back off. Candace patted Serena's hand gently. "If that's what you think is best, Serena dear, then we'll support you all the way."

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*12 pm-somewhere on the trail*

"You guys want to stop now?" asked Darien.

Drew, Chad and Greg nodded eagerly. They dismounted their horses and let them graze around for grass while they tore into the packs that Lita had provided.

"Oh sweet, Lita packed us some wicked looking chicken sandwiches!" Chad rubbed his hands greedily when he discovered what lay inside the Tupperware container. Lita had placed grilled honey garlic chicken breasts between Kaiser rolls-the very same chicken breasts Serena and Darien's parents were eating at that very moment-with slices of tomato, onion and lettuce for toppings.

Darien's mouth watered when he tore open another container in his pack. "Oh man! Lita threw in some brownies too!"

"Look at this, she made us some of her fruit punch!" Greg said, gleefully waving around a thermos.

"What do I have here?" wondered Drew as he eagerly opened his container. "Salad? Why do you guys get to carry the fun stuff while I get boring old salad?" The disappointment and scorn in his voice wasn't hard to miss.

Darien slapped him on the back soundly. "You know what they say, 'you are what you eat.'"

Chad and Greg laughed while Drew scowled at Darien, who was busily smirking at him. "Maybe Lita thinks that the food one carries should reflect one's maturity level. For example, Greg got the drinks because he's such a wet blanket; Darien got the desserts because he likes to have his cake and eat it too; and Chad got the chicken for obvious reasons," Drew said, sitting down on a tree stump and digging into the food.

"Hey!"

"I resent that!"

"What do you mean I like to have my cake and eat it too?" Darien asked, ignoring the righteous indignation of his friends.

"Well Darien, why do you love Serena so much?" Andrew asked.

"Easy. She's beautiful inside and out, she's charming, she's patient, she's perfect." Andrew raised his eyebrow skeptically.

"She's perfect? Nobody's perfect Darien, not even Serena. Do you know what her fears are? Do you know what the skeletons in her closet are?"

"No, but I bet you do," countered Darien.

"That's my point. I've _asked_ what her fears are, I've _asked_ her what she's been hiding all these years," explained Drew. "Even though it's part of my job, I've actually taken the time to listen to what she has to say. You have fallen in love with just the surface, Darien. Serena is more than just a pretty face. She has seen and experienced more as a child than we ever have as adults. You are content to love the superficial part of Serena, without digging deeper into the heart of her. You want her to love you, but you don't want your perfect image of Serena to be spoiled by finding out more about her dark side-the side that she keeps hidden from everybody, including herself. You flirt with her, do things to get in her good graces, but have you ever just _talked_ to her?"

Darien said nothing as he pondered his friend's words. Was it true? Was his love for Serena really that shallow? His mind went over all his encounters with Serena, trying to determine whether Andrew's words were true or not. He remembered the fourth of July, when Serena made that comment about her boyfriends not being special enough to take the trouble to meet their parents. He had wondered what she was trying to say in that sentence, but felt that it wasn't his place to intrude. 'Or maybe I didn't ask because I didn't want to know? She could have been reaching out for me that day, and I just blew her off.' He remained silent, preferring to keep his thoughts to himself.

"Whoa, that was deep man," Chad said to Andrew, a look of awe upon his face. Greg nodded his head in agreement. "Who knew that your psychobabble would one day make sense?"

Andrew scowled at his newest disciple. "I wasn't trying to undermine your feelings for Serena, Darien. I was just trying to make you see that there's more to Serena than just her beauty and that to love her, you have to love _all_ of her."

"Thanks Drew," he replied distantly. Inside, his mind was racing. 'Was that why she kept giving me the cold shoulder? Because I took her for granted? I swear, the next time I see her, it'll be different. _I'll_ be different. I'll be more attentive to her needs, listen to whatever she has to say, be a better person. I'll make my love worthy of her,' he vowed firmly.

*********************************

*2:30 pm-Shields house*

Serena had been busily packing in her room for about an hour and was just about finished when she heard a quiet knock on the door, thunderous because of the silence in the room. She walked cautiously to the door, trying to calm her nerves and opened it just a crack. Serena sighed in relief when she saw Walter standing in the hall and not Darien.

"Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Shields?" she asked politely as she let him in. Walter strode past her without saying a word and sat down in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. Taking the hint, Serena sat down in the other chair beside him.

"So girlie, what's the _real_ reason you're leaving all of a sudden?" Walter asked bluntly. Serena gripped the upholstered arm of the chair and raised her eyebrow.

"Real reason? What are you talking about?" Serena asked, feigning innocence.

"You're leaving because of Darien, aren't you? Something happened between the two of you the night he returned from the bachelor party and now you're running back home," Walter concluded, watching Serena's reaction carefully. He thought he saw a flicker of fear flash across her face, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

"What are you talking about? Darien has nothing to do with my decision. I got a job offer and I want to grieve my mother's death with my brother and aunt," Serena said, her tone getting louder with each word.

"That's not the only reason you're leaving. There's something else that you're running away from and, forgive me for saying this, you're using your mother's death as an excuse to do it." Serena's face went from fear to shock to outrage in a matter of seconds.

"How _dare_ you accuse me of such a thing! Nothing happened between Darien and me. I don't know where you got your information from, but I can assure you, it's wrong." Walter crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

"I have an eyewitness account of the night you and Darien were in the kitchen after he came back from the bachelor party, kissing passionately before he whisked you off to his room." Serena's face paled and her eyes widened almost comically. Walter would have burst into laughter had the situation not been so serious.

"Who?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Me." Serena was stunned to say the least. If it were anyone but Walter, she could have refuted the account by questioning the credibility of the witness, but now she couldn't so much as deny it ever happened. At her questioning look, Walter continued. "I went downstairs for some of Lita's cookies a few minutes after I heard Darien come home. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the light on and figured he went in there for a snack too. When I opened the door, I saw you sitting on his lap, kissing him. Before I knew it, Darien had you in his arms and carried you upstairs to his room for the night, I suppose."

Serena blinked away her tears and clenched her jaw. There was no denying it anymore; he saw everything. Thankfully, Walter didn't hear Darien 'profess' his love for her, nor did he hear her foolishly return it. If she played her cards right, things may still go her way after all. "All right, I admit it. We slept together that night but it's not what you think. Darien was drunk that night and I was a little lonely. I guess one thing led to another and we wound up in bed together. My decision to move back home has nothing to do with that night or Darien."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"I don't know but it's the truth. Darien doesn't even know who he slept with that night and I prefer to keep it that way, if you don't mind," she said, trying to keep her tone light.

"What do you mean he doesn't remember?" Walter probed.

"He mixed drinks and medication at the same time, causing the alcohol to become more potent in his system. In other words, he was barely able to distinguish the world around him. None of what happened afterwards was his fault because he didn't even know what was happening to him at the time. I'm afraid I was the one who took advantage of the situation and...well, seduced him," she said, pretending to be sheepish.

Walter raised his eyebrow skeptically. "Now, why would you do a thing like that?"

Serena shrugged looked down at the carpet. "I felt lonely that night so I went down the kitchen and, much like yourself, had some of Lita's cookies. I was depressed at the thought of being the last of my friends to be single and I guess I thought Darien would take away that loneliness for a few hours. Please believe me Mr. Shields; I don't make it a habit of seducing men when they're vulnerable. I'm so ashamed of my actions and I don't want Darien to find out what I did because then he'll hate me. Please don't tell him," she begged desperately.

Walter looked at Serena for a moment, wondering what he should do. He didn't believe her story about seducing Darien because she was 'lonely'. If he knew his son, the situation would have been reversed with him doing the seducing. No, something just didn't add up. Why would she be covering up for Darien? Still, her story could be plausible if it were true- which he seriously doubted. He watched Serena bite her lip in nervous anticipation of his verdict, trying not to look concerned. Finally, he nodded his head, vowing silently to get to the bottom of the situation eventually.

Serena breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed her body visibly. "You know, you really should tell my son what happened before you leave. He loves you very much and your leaving without a word would just break his heart," Walter said.

Serena inhaled sharply and fought the wave of despair that just washed over her. "He doesn't love me, Mr. Shields. My leaving might sadden him for a day or so, but I certainly don't think he'd be devastated if I left. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and from what I've noticed about Darien, he's determined to sample them all. He'll find another woman soon enough and he'll forget I ever existed," she replied flippantly on the outside, but on the inside, her heart was breaking into a million pieces. She congratulated herself on being able to say those words convincingly and with a straight face.

Walter shook his head in disagreement. "You've got it wrong, girlie. I've known my son longer than you, and you're the first woman he's ever been remotely interested in ever since that whole fiasco with Ann five years ago," he said.

"Ann?" Serena asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Ann Roberts was Darien's girlfriend of two years a while ago. They were very serious about each other from the start and it looked like he was on the verge of proposing to her when out of the blue, he announces that he's ended their relationship. He told reporters that the split was amicable and that he wished her all the best, but in reality, their split was very bitter. Darien isn't aware of this, but Candace and I found out from Molly that he saw her in bed with another person," he confided.

"She cheated on him with another man?"

"No, she was cheating on him with Beryl Stone, her college roommate. Molly told me that he was so furious that he threw them out of his bed and into the hallway naked, then threw their clothing in a heap in front of them. I saw on the bank statements a month later that Darien had made out a substantial cheque paid to the order of Ann Roberts. From everything that's happened, my guess is that Darien paid her off to keep her quiet as to the real reason they broke up."

"How did Molly find out what happened and how did you come to find out from her?"

Walter grinned mysteriously. "Darien had been in a miserable mood the whole week after the breakup so Candace and I made an appearance at one of their 'poker' games to find out what was bothering him. Molly said that she had been cleaning this very room and could hear noises coming from my son's room. She figured it was just Darien and Ann so she thought nothing of it, until she opened the door to leave and saw Darien walking up the stairs. She ducked back in the room before he saw her, but left the door open just a crack so she could see what went on. She told us that Darien opened the door and just stood there in shock. A second later, he walked in and started shouting. Molly heard screams and stuff being thrown around. All of a sudden, two naked women stumbled out of Darien's room and fell on the floor. Ann was pleading him to give her another chance but all Darien did was fling some clothes at them and banish them from our home. The next day, Darien told his mother and me that he's broken things off with Ann for good."

In a weird way, Serena felt sorry for Darien after hearing about this chapter of his life. He must have been heartbroken after finding out that his first love cheated on him with another woman, in his own bed no less, but she had to stick to her plan. "And you're telling me this, why?" she asked tiredly.

"I'm telling you this because ever since then, Darien had been going through women like they were Dixie cups: quick, easy to use and disposable. It's almost as if he's taking his hurt out on other women by using them and throwing them away before they have the chance to hurt him. With you, he's different. I haven't seen strange, scantily clad women walking around my house, trying to worm their way into his life ever since you moved in. You've changed my son for the better; you've turned him from a hurt little boy into a man. Please don't just leave without saying goodbye to him," Walter pleaded.

Serena listened to his impassioned speech, going over Walter's words with a fine-toothed comb in an effort to sort out fact from fiction. What she came up with was plainly obvious in her perspective. Fact: Darien had been burned once and wasn't quite willing to get burned again. Fact: he used women to get revenge on his former love, regardless of their feelings. Fact: she was a woman and therefore had to be punished for his ex-girlfriend's indiscretion. Fiction: he meant it when said that he loved her because in Fact: he didn't.

She smiled regretfully at Walter and shook her head. "You're giving me too much credit for something I didn't even do. Maybe Darien's changed of his own accord. He doesn't love me; you're reading too much into our...friendship."

"What about you, aren't you in love with him?" he asked.

"There is _nothing_ between us, Mr. Shields," she replied firmly.

"That isn't what I asked."

'This chess game has gone on long enough,' Serena thought impatiently. "I'm sorry to say that I don't love him. He's a wonderful person and I'll always treasure the friendship that we had but I _have_ to go back home and move on with my life. Please try and understand that."

Walter rose slowly and headed to the door. Before exiting the room, he paused and looked back at her. "You can keep denying it to me how you feel about my son, but you can't keep denying it to yourself. You don't have to worry about your secret; Darien will hear nothing from me because it's not my place to tell, but I urge you to tell him what happened before it's too late." Seeing that Serena remained firm in her decision, he sighed. "I'll be downstairs to say goodbye before you leave."

*****************************

*2:30 pm-stables*

"That was a great run, Dare," Andrew commented as he combed through Solaris' mane. "These horses are in great condition."

"Thanks. Freddy and I do everything we can to make sure that they're in great shape," Darien replied, brushing Endymion's flank.

"This horse is almost like a human," Chad commented, pointing at Artemis. "He has this way of shaking his head as if he understands everything you're talking about."

"Serena used to say that too. She seemed to think that Artemis was laughing at her every time he whinnied." Darien's arm stopped moving as he recalled their meeting at the stable. "You know, I fell in love with her when I saw her petting Endymion's cheek. She has such a natural ability to get past people's barriers that I'm not surprised it extends to animals too."

Chad rolled his eyes exaggeratedly at Greg, who was currently feeding Gaia. "Dude, just get over her already!" he exclaimed. "She's not worth it, man."

Darien's eyes flashed in anger. "I swear Chad, if you say another thing about Serena, I'm going to rip out your pretty-boy hair by the roots and flog you with it. You don't know her so just shut the hell up about her, okay?"

The tension mounted in the stables as Darien and Chad glared at each other; even the horses could feel the sparks of anger shooting between the two. Selene pawed at the ground nervously and only calmed down when Endymion peered into her stall and nuzzled her neck reassuringly. Greg looked at Andrew, obviously asking him silently to intervene in the situation before it got worse.

Andrew cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention. "Well, as fun as this staring contest is, I've got to get back to the house soon. Rita's picking me up before we head over to her place and have dinner with her parents," he explained, looking at his watch. "If she gets here soon, I'll have just enough time to take a shower and change into something more presentable before they get there."

Darien and Chad broke away from each other's glare and nodded at each other curtly, both silently agreeing to call a truce. Chad grinned teasingly and made a few hand gestures in the air, pretending to crack a whip. "Dude, you are so whipped it's not even funny."

Andrew merely grinned and made his way out of the stable after making sure Solaris was safe in her stall. "Make all the jokes you want, Chad. I've found the woman of my dreams and I'll do anything it takes to make her happy because seeing her happy makes me feel happy too. I have a great relationship with Rita, who treats me with nothing but respect and love, something it seems you lack in your own life and that's why you feel the need to put down others who have found it. You go from woman to woman without finding your soul mate. You have no idea what love is, so until you do, don't knock it till you try it."

"Geez, don't ever try to joke around with a psych major; they put the 'anal' in analyze,' he mumbled. Greg patted his back in mock sympathy. They followed Andrew out of the stable and started walking back to the house.

*****************************

*2:45 pm-Shields mansion*

When Walter had closed the door behind him, Serena picked up the black velvet box sitting on her dresser and opened it. 'Is he right? Does Darien love me after all?' She lifted the tiara gently from its case and examined it more closely. Inside the band was an engraving in Japanese characters she had failed to notice before. She stared at the inscription, trying in vain to decipher its meaning but failing miserably. 'I wonder what this means?' She placed the tiara back in its box and walked to the balcony with it still in her hands. Downstairs, she heard the faint sound of the doorbell ringing and Melvin rushing to answer it.

'Am I doing the right thing by keeping this secret?' she asked herself as she looked at the garden below. She rubbed her hand lightly over her lower abdomen, imagining that she was touching her child. "Am I being selfish by keeping you from your father?" She looked at the box in her hands and thought of the day Darien gave it to her. "Even if he doesn't love me back, maybe we could arrange something about visitation. I don't know what to do. One part tells me I should keep this from him and another part tells me that Darien has the right to know about his own child. Maybe I should delay my flight until he gets back before I decide what to do."

As if on cue, Darien himself appeared just beyond the garden with two of his friends. She watched as he got closer to the house, laughing and joking with his friends all the way. Darien climbed the steps of the terrace, unaware of her presence, and paused at the top. Just then, she noticed something red moving from the doors leading to the back of the house towards Darien. She realized it was a beautiful red-haired woman, and that she was headed for Darien's outstretched arms.

Serena let her tears fall unheeded as Darien kissed the woman on the cheek and whispered something in her ear, causing her to roll her eyes playfully. She turned away and walked back into her room, unable and unwilling to watch any further. 'See Mr. Shields? I _told_ you he didn't love me but you wouldn't listen. I better get going; I have a plane to catch.' Setting the box down on the dresser, she picked up her bag and walked down the stairs carefully. She saw that Walter and Candace were already waiting to say goodbye to her in the foyer.

"Goodbye, Serena dear. I loved having you here with us, even if it was only for a short time. Write to us sometime and let us know how you're doing," Candace said and gave her a hug. She motioned Melvin to go upstairs and retrieve the rest of Serena's belongings for her.

Walter stepped up and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry about the things I said earlier, girlie," he whispered in her ear. "I promise to keep my mouth shut about everything you said to me, so you don't have to worry about anything. If Darien remembers that night, it'll be because he remembers on his own, and not because I told him." Serena pulled away and kissed him on the cheek tenderly, causing him to blush adorably.

"Thanks Mr. Shields. I'll miss you and Candace very much." She gave them another hug and went to the car that Alan was going to take her to the airport in. She waited until Melvin had brought down all her luggage before closing her door. Walter and Candace watched sadly as the car's engine purred to life and slowly pull out of the long drive.

Candace sighed and turned to her husband when the car was no longer in view. "So she wouldn't listen to you when you tried to talk to her, huh?"

Walter shook his head and took her hand before answering. "Something tells me this isn't the last we've heard of Serena Mathis. She'll be back and I have a feeling it's going to be with a bang." And with those prophetic words, Walter and Candace turned back to their home, determined to let nature take its course and bring Serena back to them its own way.

****************************

*2:40 pm-Somewhere between the stables and the Shields mansion*

"I think I understand why those cowboys walked the way they did now," said Greg as he walked bowlegged because of his stiff muscles. "I used to think they did it for show; you know, to look all bad ass, but now I see the light."

Darien and the others laughed at Greg trying to shift in his jeans in order to relieve the chaffing. "Aww, look at the city boy. Did the little horsy rough you up? Does little Greggy need a nap?" teased Darien. Chad and Andrew laughed. Greg rolled his eyes as he made another vain effort to readjust his jeans.

"_You're_ calling _me_ a 'city boy?' Darien, you of all people couldn't get along without your briefcase in one hand, and a cell phone in the other. You're the only one of us who actually _works_ in a high-rise building downtown so I don't know where you're getting off calling _me_ a city boy," Greg huffed.

"Touchy-touchy. Maybe you should readjust your pants one more time; I think your 'boys' are a little cramped," mocked Darien. Greg grinned at him wickedly.

"You want to do the honours?"

Darien backed off and eyed Greg warily. "Is there something you haven't told us, Greg? Something involving a closet perhaps?"

"That's something you're going to have to find out for yourself. You know, hands on research," Greg said suggestively.

"I think I just might take you up on that."

Darien and Greg's eyes widened in horror and they both took a huge step from each other, shaking their heads wildly. 'Think about manly things: Playboy, all things sports related, cheerleaders in tight uniforms and having sex with a WOMAN!' Darien told himself furiously, ignoring the sound of Chad's laughter in the background.

"Dude, I know I told you to get over Serena, but this isn't exactly what I meant!" Chad exclaimed, patting Darien on the back.

"Damn it!" Andrew exclaimed out of the blue. He had straggled behind his friends and was too preoccupied with rummaging around in his backpack to know what was going on around him.

The others turned to look at him curiously. "What's wrong, Drew?" asked Greg.

"I left my frigging cell phone back at the stable and now I'm gonna have to go back. Shit, Rita should be here by now," worried Andrew, glancing at his watch. "I'll just go back and get it. I can see the house from here so why don't you guys go on ahead and tell Rita that I just went back to get my cell phone?"

"Sure, Drew. Don't worry; it shouldn't take more than ten minutes to get there if you hurry," agreed Darien as Andrew walked back in the direction they came from.

The three of them continued on their way back to the house. They joked that Andrew would end up smelling like a horse for the big dinner with Rita's parents. Darien climbed the steps leading to the terrace and saw Rita emerging from the house. Rita gave them a surprised look and ran to meet them. Darien gave Rita a polite kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Drew forgot his cell at the stable so he went back to get it. He told me to tell you that you should just take me to the dinner instead." Rita rolled her eyes and lightly smacked him on the shoulder before greeting the others.

"So that absent-minded boyfriend of mine forgot his cell again, huh? Something tells me he does this on purpose every time we have dinner with my parents," she joked.

"Well, he won't be back for another ten minutes so why don't we sit down?" suggested Chad, who looked tired after the day's exercise. The others nodded and soon were engaged in a debate over whom the guys would rather procreate with if he was the last man on earth and he was with the last two women: Barbara Walters and Rosie O'Donnell.

"Dude, I think I would welcome the sweet release of death if it ever came down to that," commented Chad.

"There're a lot of pros and cons to consider before I can make up my mind. One thing that takes Babs out of the running is the age factor; she's too old to have any children. Rosie _might_ be willing to repopulate the earth because it's a good cause, otherwise, she won't even consider it. Didn't she say she doesn't swing on our side of the fence anymore?" contemplated Greg.

"So what would the pros be for either woman?" asked Rita, getting into the conversation she unwittingly started by saying that Chad couldn't seduce one of his coworkers if they were the last two people on earth and God ordered them to repopulate the planet.

"Well, if you chose Barbara and by some unfortunate miracle she's still able to have children, you know that she's a good conversationalist so you won't get bored-but there's a downside to that. She's a reporter who makes her living by exposing one's hidden skeletons, but I suppose that won't very much matter if there're only three people on earth. Rosie's funny; she'll find a way to take the edge off the situation. I bet she'll probably burst into song while we do it," said Greg. "Then again, all the women I sleep with burst into song," he added as an afterthought.

"Yeah, requiems," Chad taunted. "What about you, Dare? Babs or Rosie?"

"What? Oh I don't know...I guess Barbara," Darien replied absently. His mind kept wandering back to Serena and when she would be coming back. The others seemed to recognize this and left him alone to his thoughts. Inside the house, he could hear Molly and Lita's voices wafting from the open kitchen window. He paid little attention to them until he heard Molly mention Serena's name. His ears perked up immediately as he strained to hear their conversation.

"Black isn't Serena's colour," Molly stated matter-of-factly. "She looked washed-out in it. Granted, her mother just died so she had good reason to look washed out..." Molly's voice trailed off sadly.

"It's too bad. Ilene was a real sweet lady, even if she _did_ kick me out of my kitchen to bake her apple pie," agreed Lita.

"Is it just me, or did Serena gain weight?" asked Molly.

"No, it's not just you. Serena got some meat on her bones," replied Lita. The faucet turned on, drowning out her next words. Darien sat in his chair, wondering what they meant. 'She _looked_ washed out in black? Her mother _just_ died? She _gained_ some weight?' he asked himself. 'They're talking about her as if they've just seen...her...' His eyes trailed up to her balcony and he saw that her doors were open, when he knew from his morning visit that it was closed. He suddenly bolted out of his chair and ran into the house, ignoring his friends' looks of concern. He raced inside and confronted a shocked Molly and Lita, sitting around the table and flipping through a recipe book.

"What are you guys talking about?" he demanded. Lita and Molly were alarmed to say the least at the sudden intrusion. They sat there, staring blankly at him until he could no longer wait for an answer. "Well?"

"It's not our place to tell," faltered Molly, her face flushed.

"Of course it's your place to tell; I'm your employer and if I want to know something, you have to tell me. Now, was Serena here or not?" he asked, eyes flashing at the two.

Lita cleared her throat and looked down at her lap, trying to think of an answer. Finally, she looked up at Darien's angry face and sighed. "I think it would be best if you asked your parents about this," she said diplomatically. She shrank back into her seat and felt about three feet tall compared to Darien's six feet three inches which, in her view, just shot up to ten feet because of the intensity of his gaze. She swallowed nervously as he continued to glower at them.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you whether you saw Serena or not," he said in an eerily low voice. "For god's sakes, I don't know why you're getting secretive all of a sudden; everyone knows about your damn 'poker nights!'" he spat.

Molly and Lita looked at each other guiltily, silently deliberating who should break the news to him. Finally, Molly sighed and said, "she came back today but-"

"She's back?" interrupted Darien. He had a feeling that she was but was still surprised to hear the confirmation. "When did she arrive?"

"She got here at around 11:30-ish but there's something you should know-" said Lita.

"No time; tell me later," shouted Darien, already out the door.

Molly and Lita gave long-suffering sighs and gathered their things on the table. "Come on Lita, let's go outside for a while; I don't want to be here when Darien finds out she's gone," Molly said. Lita agreed and the two of them practically hightailed it out of the kitchen and sought refuge in the garden.

Darien meanwhile, was already racing up the stairs two at a time. 'Why didn't anyone tell me she was back?' he wondered as he reached the top. He paused shortly to catch his breath and continued down the hall to Serena's room. He knocked on the door eagerly and listened for any sounds of movement in the room. 'She must be in the bathroom,' he concluded when he heard nothing. 'I don't think she'll mind if I just let myself in.' He opened the door and got the shock of his life.

The room was empty.

The framed pictures of her friends on the night table...the clothes in the closet...the various containers of mysterious creams and lotions that women seem to know how to use from birth and men just look at askance...they were all gone. The room looked like she had never been there. Darien whirled around furiously, seeking a sign, an object that would prove Serena had been there and she wasn't a figment of his imagination. His eyes came to rest on the dresser upon which a black velvet box rested. Darien's hands shook as he lifted the box and opened its lid to reveal the tiara he had custom-made while he was in Japan. He whirled around when he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw his father looking at him with concern and pity in his eyes.

"Dad?" he asked, uncertain of the question but knew that his father would know the answer.

"I'm sorry, son. She left just a while before you got back from your ride. I couldn't talk her out of it," he answered. Darien nodded numbly.

"Why did she leave?"

Walter sighed, his heart breaking for his only son. He remembered Darien asking the same question when he was just six years old and his beloved grandmother died. Just like then, Walter knew the answer wasn't going to be simple and wouldn't satisfy his broken heart. "Her mother died a few days ago. She's decided to stay there and be with her family and accept her old job back," he replied.

"Oh," Darien said, as if he had known all along what his father would say. "If you'll excuse me dad, I think I'm going to rest in my room. I'm feeling tired all of a sudden." Without waiting for a response, Darien pushed past his father and walked out the door with the box in his hand.

Once he got inside his room, he opened the black box once more and lifted the tiara out. He traced the inscription he had engraved on it with his finger. "To my beautiful Serena," he read, or rather remembered, because he couldn't read Japanese, "you'll always be the queen of my heart." He placed the tiara back in the box for the last time and snapped its lid shut. He then opened the closet door and put the box in the furthest, hardest-to-reach corner. He piled on more junk on top of it just for good measure. Having done this, he lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, fighting back the tears he felt in his eyes. As he turned his head to the side to look at the clock, one lone tear escaped and made its way down the side of his nose before splashing silently on the pillow. '3:15,' he said to himself before he fell asleep, dreaming of Serena.

********************************

*3:15 pm-car*

Serena looked at the scenery whizzing past her as the car sped along. 'Did I do the right thing?' she asked herself for the thousandth time since she left. Images of Darien and the mysterious redhead in his arms floated back to her mind. 'Yes, I did. Darien is not a one-woman man. He needs a new woman by his side and in his bed constantly. He would just resent you even more if you told him he was the father of your baby,' she thought resolutely. Still, why did it feel so wrong?

She looked down and patted her stomach comfortingly. 'I'm sorry little one. It's just you and me, okay? You may not have your daddy, but you have a mommy, Uncle Sammy, Great Aunt Celeste, Auntie Raye and Auntie Amy, Uncle Justin and Uncle Zach and Cousin Kayla. We all love you very much. Please forgive me for not telling your daddy about you honey; I'm just afraid that he might love you so much, he'll take you away from me and I'll never get to see you again.' She wiped away the tears forming in her eyes. Alan was watching her in the rearview mirror in concern but wisely chose not to say anything. After all, the poor thing just lost her mother.

Serena leaned her head against the cool window and closed her eyes, but not falling asleep. She was vaguely aware of the car coming to a stop a few minutes later. A tapping on the window close to her ear caused her to open her eyes.

"Serena? We're here," Alan called from outside. Serena nodded and opened her door, stepping out gracefully. Alan was already handing her suitcases to a porter. She smiled gratefully at Alan and thanked him for all his help.

"You're very welcome, Serena," he replied. "Keep in touch, okay?"

Serena nodded, crossing her fingers behind her back. 'I'm sorry Alan, but no can do. Darien can't ever know about our baby; if he ever finds out, God help me.'

"Don't worry Alan, I will," she replied.

************************************************************************

The end

Of chapter ten! This chapter was a major biotch to write especially since ff.net was down and I knew that I wouldn't be able to upload it. It took me almost a whole week to write it instead of my usual one day. I just kept thinking to myself, 'why are you making this story longer by doing this? You could end it all now and have them live happily ever after.' But that's just not my style. Making my life more difficult, _that's_ my style. So just sit tight and wait for the next chapter. *Sigh* U.U;

~crystal~rose~{@

June 19, 2002