Hey everyone...long time no see if you're reading this at ff.net. Just to remind everybody, this story is also posted on ariasink.com so you could go there if ff.net is down again. Anyhoo, I'll just get on with the story.
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Wounded Souls
Chapter 11-Time Apart
By: ~crystal~rose~{@
June 26, 2002
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.oO October-third month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Isn't this new club great?" Chad shouted over the music.
"What?" Darien yelled.
"Great. Isn't this club great?"
Darien nodded his head enthusiastically, then turned around and rolled his eyes. 'I have no idea what he just said,' he thought. They made their way to the bar and got drinks. Darien leaned back and watched the throng of bodies dancing to the beat of the R&B music pulsing in the crowded room.
"Hey there handsome," a velvety feminine voice purred in Darien's ear just as he was about to take a gulp of his beer. He turned around in the barstool and saw a curvaceous redhead wearing a rather revealing black sequined tube top and a red leather miniskirt. Her taut stomach and belly ring showed between the gap in her outfit. By the way her skirt was hanging low on her hips, it was obvious she wasn't wearing panties. "Like what you see?" she asked, licking her lips provocatively.
Darien grinned as he leered over her body unashamedly. "I think I'd like what I don't see even better," he replied suggestively. "Wanna dance?" He didn't wait for a response and instead led her to the dance floor after glancing at Chad who was busy making some moves of his own with a busty brunette. They made their way to the centre of the dance floor and started moving in time with the music.
Darien pulled her against him so that his hands were roving around on her bare stomach. She moved even closer to him, rubbing against his groin purposefully. Darien leaned down and started kissing her neck, moving for the both of them. She moaned lustily and reached around with her arm to bring his mouth even closer to her neck. "So what's your name?" he asked.
The mysterious redhead grinned when she felt the result of her ministrations to his groin. "Serena," she replied. Darien looked up in shock and saw Serena in his arms, staring at him accusingly with a betrayed look upon her face.
"Excuse me?" he choked out.
"I said my name is Claudette. What's yours?" Darien blinked and the woman before him was not the beautiful goddess he had been dreaming about every night since she disappeared from his life. What he saw was a cheap tramp with too much makeup and too little clothing on a mission to get laid that night. 'How could I confuse the two?' he thought. He pushed her away roughly, ignoring her look of bewilderment.
"I'm sorry, I've got to go," he said, backing away hastily. Claudette shrugged carelessly and watched him head back to the bar to talk with his shaggy-haired friend before leaving the club hurriedly.
"Oh well, it's his loss," she said. She flipped her ruddy hair over her shoulder carelessly and set her sights on another man dancing a few feet away from her. "Hey gorgeous, wanna dance?" she asked, dancing towards him, making sure to move in such a way as to display all of her attributes in one way or another. She smiled to herself when she felt his hands upon her waist. 'I hope this one isn't a cold fish like the other one,' she thought. Claudette pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "you wanna get to know each other a little better outside?"
'Why can't I just get her out of my mind?' Darien's inner voice screamed as he drove home. 'It's been three months since I've last seen her. She obviously doesn't want anything to do with me so why do I keep torturing myself?' Darien frowned deeply and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He angrily jabbed at a button on the dashboard panel and listened to the soft strains of jazz music floating through the state-of-the-art speakers he had installed in his newly acquired vehicle. He turned up the volume until it was so loud he couldn't hear himself think, which was just how he wanted it because if he allowed himself that luxury, his thoughts would most certainly wander back to a beautiful blonde woman who had left him without so much as a word.
**Toronto**
Serena sighed as she sat down heavily in the dining room chair of her mother's-correction-her house. She still wasn't used to the idea of her mother being gone or owning the home she had lived in for almost a decade. She glanced around at Sammy and Mika, his long-time girlfriend, and her Aunt Celeste and smiled softly. Ever since their mother's death, Sammy had been making it a point to have dinner at Serena's house every Sunday night. Celeste, who had agreed to move into Serena's old room while she was pregnant, welcomed the opportunity to exercise her culinary skills by cooking for a group of people on a regular basis; not an easy thing to do for a single middle aged woman living alone in the city.
"So Serena, how was your week?" asked Mika. Serena handed her the dish of mashed potatoes before answering.
"It was very hectic. I've realized that I couldn't possibly take the promotion next year if I'm going to be on maternity leave. The hospital needs someone they can rely on to be there. The patients need someone they can rely on to be fully focused on their needs instead of worrying about who's watching my baby, what she's eating, etc.," she replied, taking a forkful of roast chicken. It didn't have the gourmet flair that Lita's cooking had, but Serena knew that her aunt made the food out of love for her family, thus making it the best meal she'd ever eaten. Celeste beamed proudly when she told her so.
"What are you going to do then?" asked Celeste.
"I've already spoken with the board members and told them that I'm going to have to turn down the promotion but I'll stay on in my old position after I get back from maternity leave." Sammy's eyes narrowed upon hearing her news.
"What did they say about that?" he asked in a low voice. The three women glanced at each other warily, knowing that Sammy only took this tone of voice when he was really upset with something...or someone.
Serena decided to choose her words carefully before answering. "They agreed with me. They admitted to being rather hesitant about promoting me knowing that I'll be on maternity leave for a year. They agreed to place me at the top of the candidate list when the next promotion comes up."
"Unbelievable," Sammy muttered under his breath as he set his knife down with a clang on his plate. He felt Mika's hand squeezing his under the table, warning him not to let his temper get the better of him and upset his sister.
"What was that?" Serena asked, knowing full well what he said.
Sammy's eyes flashed in anger and an angry scowl was etched upon his face.
"I think it's unbelievable what you're doing and what you have to sacrifice because that bastard impregnated you and was too stupid to remember!" he yelled, throwing his napkin on the table.
"I'm not sacrificing anything," Serena replied soothingly, trying to get her brother to see things her way. "It's my choice to keep this from Darien and it was my choice to turn down the promotion at work. He didn't force me to sleep with him that night; we were both consenting adults so there's no need to place all the blame on him." She could see that her words had backfired on her because the muscles on Sammy's neck tensed and his eyes narrowed to tiny slits.
"Why do you keep defending that idiot? Fine, the two of you made a mistake but that doesn't mean you should be alone when you raise this child. Besides, even though I hate his guts for what he did to you, telling him would just make your life easier. He could pay child support-hell, he _should_ pay child support! Why are you letting him go from his responsibilities?" he asked, making an effort to subdue his voice, which was rapidly increasing in volume.
"What if I tell him and he decides that he'll make a better parent and sue me for custody? Do you think that a judge would rule in my favour just because I'm the mother? If you hadn't noticed Sammy, the Shields family is rich enough to buy the state of California, probably even the entire country! If they have the power to influence the stock market for the past thirty years, they sure as hell have the power to influence someone in a courtroom. I don't want the first time I get to hold my child to be the last," she hissed, fighting to keep her tears in check. Sammy's face turned apologetic instantly and he rushed to his sister's side.
"I'm sorry, sis. It's not you I'm mad at; it's that Shields bastard. I just wanted you to have a break for once in your life. I'm sorry; I didn't think about the consequences of him knowing about the baby. Please don't cry, Sere," he comforted, letting her cry on his shoulder just as she had let him do to her a month ago. "We'll get through this together, Sere. All of us."
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.oO November-fourth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"All right girls, ante up," Lita said, dealing out the cards. Sitting around the table were Molly and her fellow housekeepers, Alice, Patricia and Diana. "So what do you guys think about Darien?"
Molly studied her cards carefully before throwing a couple of cards back on the table. "Two cards Lita. I've never seen him like this before. He's completely despondent; he wanders around the house aimlessly and he wears a constant frown on his face."
Patricia signaled for another card, which Lita obligingly dealt her. "Girl, that man mopes around the house like nobody's business. If it wasn't for work, he'd have nowhere else to go."
Alice frowned in concentration and tossed three cards on the growing pile. "He just sits there like a speed bump: unnoticed until you practically trip over him. I swear, he's become really irritating lately. Makes me almost wish that Serena girl came back so she could snap him out of this miserable state," she declared as Lita passed her some new cards. She kept her poker face on but inside was screaming with glee. 'Ha ha ha! Three queens! Mama's gonna eat good tonight!'
Diana grinned slyly and looked at Alice a little maliciously. "You're just saying that cuz you know deep down, you want Darien for yourself." She looked down at her cards and practically cursed her rotten luck. A pair of threes. Still, for the sake of keeping up appearances, she allowed herself a half smirk and a raised eyebrow.
"No I don't! I'm completely over Darien and you know it. Besides, I'm going out with Duke now," Alice said dreamily.
Molly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the two women. It was obvious that Alice had always held a sore spot for Serena ever since she moved in, garnering the attention she so desperately craved from Darien. She wasn't out to get him though; Alice had a roving eye much like the object of her affection and wasn't about to get stuck with one man in the prime of her life. Darien was just the man she held in the highest esteem in comparison to the other men she was attracted to, which doesn't say much for Darien because she normally went out with losers who frequented truck stops and called it a romantic date. As for Diana, it was common knowledge among her fellow players that she was a terrible liar and couldn't bluff her way out of an empty room even if her life depended on it. 'She probably has a pair of sevens or something like that,' she thought.
Lita stayed her hand and threw in a few chips. "I raise ten," she said. "Darien's been such a wet blanket these days. He's not fun anymore; all he does is pine over Serena. I wonder what happened between those two. Did you see him after she left? He hardly left his room."
Alice threw in some blue chips in the middle of the table. "I see your ten and raise you twenty. I know what you mean. I went in his room the day after Serena left, fully expecting him to be gone already, to clean it up. I was shocked when I opened his bedroom door and saw him lying there on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. From the bags under his eyes, I suspected that he didn't sleep a wink."
"Too rich for my blood; I fold," Diana said, placing her cards face down on the table. "I feel sorry for him. I've never seen Darien like this, even when he found out about Ann and Beryl. I just hope that Darien can recover from this."
"What about Serena?" asked Molly. "We keep talking about Darien's troubles, but what about hers? Maybe it's Darien's own fault that she left him. We don't know the whole story; we don't know what happened between them. I call and raise you ten," she added as an afterthought.
Patricia looked at her full house and threw in some chips. "I call and raise you fifty," she replied with a stony expression on her face. The other girls threw their cards down on the table in defeat. Patricia smiled and reaped her winnings. "I guess you're right, Molly. Unless Serena comes back, we'll never know the truth but I can't help but feel sorry for Darien. For once in his life, he's gotten his comeuppance as far as women are concerned and he doesn't know what hit him." The girls nodded in agreement and Molly gathered up the cards, shuffling them.
"Alright girls, ante up. This time, aces wild and diamonds rule..."
**Toronto**
"Mmm, Aunt Celeste this is really good," Serena commented after taking a bite out of her slice of pumpkin pie.
"Thanks dear, it was your mother's recipe." Celeste sat down beside Serena at the kitchen table. They ate in silence for a few moments before Serena pushed her chair back and stood up. "Serena?"
Serena grinned and eyed the pork chops her aunt had made for dinner. "I know we just ate but the more that pork chop sits there, the more I want it."
Celeste laughed fondly. "You know Serena, I almost envy you," she said.
Serena looked at her aunt with the pork chop halfway to her mouth. She set her food down and patted her aunt's hand. "Envy me? Why?"
"Oh, it's nothing really," she replied, waving her hand dismissively.
"No, tell me. What's bothering you?"
"Well, it's just that I'm forty-two already and I have nothing to show for it. I don't have a family of my own, I rent an apartment, and I don't even have a steady boyfriend! I hate to admit it, especially to myself, but my biological clock is ticking and I fear that my battery's just about out of juice," she replied regretfully, her eyes glistening just a little.
Serena patted Celeste's hand consolingly and felt tears in her eyes. She had neglected to think about how her aunt felt about her unexpected pregnancy, the woman who was most deserving of a child. "Oh Aunt Celeste, you'll have a family someday. You're a beautiful woman with a successful job and a great personality. I think you just haven't found the one yet. God knows I haven't," she added, more to herself than her aunt.
"Well, Cara from the pediatrics department is setting me up on a blind date with her boyfriend's cousin. I don't know if I should keep the date though. I'm just so sick and tired of this whole dating game," Celeste said wearily.
"Well, don't follow my example and get pregnant without even getting dinner and a movie first," she replied, half joking and half serious. "Your time will come, Aunt Celeste, you'll see. Go on the date; who knows, this might be the one."
Celeste snorted disdainfully. "Yeah right. How many 'right ones' has there been? What if I already found the one, but I threw him away?"
"You're talking about Kyle, aren't you?" Kyle Landsbury was her aunt's boyfriend of two years. Everyone at the time thought that Celeste would finally settle down and raise a family with Kyle but was shocked when they found out that she had turned down his proposal of marriage. All of Celeste's friends, and most especially Ilene, had questioned her decision and called her a fool for letting a wonderful man like Kyle go. Serena understood though why she had to do it. At that point in her life, Celeste just wasn't ready to settle down.
She wanted to live life to the fullest without being tied down with responsibilities, something Serena could relate to back then. Kyle was heartbroken but he understood Celeste's decision. They decided to see other people and one year later, Kyle married a beautiful woman named Amara. They now have three gorgeous children: one girl and twin boys, ages ten and eight respectively.
Celeste nodded her head. "What if he was the one? What if I was the one meant to be with him. Those could've been my children now," she moaned despairingly. Celeste looked down and felt the tears falling from her eyes. She sniffled and wiped them away hastily. She glanced up and saw her niece's worried eyes looking at her. "I don't know what I'm crying about; I'd probably make a horrible mother. I'm too caught up in my work, I live a hectic lifestyle and I'm a selfish woman who chose to have fun instead of getting married to the only man I ever loved. Now I'm reaping what I sowed." Celeste managed a small smile before bursting into tears. She felt Serena wrap her in a warm embrace.
When her tears subsided, Serena took her by the shoulders and forced her to look into her eyes. "Don't ever say such things about yourself, Aunt Celeste. You would make a wonderful mother; just look at Sammy and me. Without you, our mom would have fallen apart after everything that happened after daddy died. We could always go to you when we needed someone to talk to if we felt our parents were being unfair or something. We've always considered you our second mother, you know. You were always there for us, Aunt Celeste, and _that_ is what makes you a good mother.
"As for not marrying Kyle, you don't have to explain your reasons. I understand what you were feeling because that was how I felt too. You didn't want to get trapped in a marriage with a man you weren't sure you loved. What if you _had_ married him, had a family and _then_ found out that he wasn't the one after all? If you had reservations about him during your courtship, don't you think those worries would have translated to your married life? I don't think you would have wanted to raise your children in that environment," Serena replied sagely.
Finally Celeste cracked a tiny smile. "Thanks Serena. That really means a lot to me. I never thought you and Sammy felt that way about me and I'm honoured." She gave Serena another hug and then giggled. Serena looked at her curiously, wondering what was so funny. "Courtship? What century are you living in?" she replied teasingly at Serena's puzzled expression, which quickly turned into mock indignation.
"Here I am trying to cheer you up and what do you do? Make fun of me! I'll have you know I couldn't think of a better word than that. What was I supposed to use, dateship?" she asked touchily.
Celeste laughed and ruffled Serena's hair affectionately. "No, you had it just right. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena had a feeling she was talking about something more than her use of synonyms. She smiled, glad to have helped her aunt feel better about herself like she had done so many times for her.
"I thought so."
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.oO December-fifth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Are you sure you want to do this son?" Candace asked as she watched her son packing his clothes in a suitcase. "It's a week before Christmas! Surely business can wait?"
Darien shook his head stubbornly at his mother without taking the time to stop packing. "Mom I've been through this already. I have to go to London and see how things are going over there. The London branch is in the process of hiring a new CFO and it's my job as owner and CEO to oversee things. Wouldn't want an incompetent fool to just walk in from the streets and destroy the company from the inside, you know?"
"But surely they can find their own Chief Financial Officer? You make them sound like a bunch of mindless idiots who can't do anything without your say," she argued.
Darien grinned at his mother rakishly. "That's because they can't."
"But Darien honey, it's a holiday!" she protested. "I'm sure they celebrate Christmas in England."
"This is business mom; we can't stop working just because of a little holiday," he explained patiently, as if he were talking to a five year old.
Candace sighed in frustration. Thank goodness her husband had the presence of mind to retire seven years ago. She wouldn't know what to do if both Walter _and_ Darien were still working at 'damned company,' as she was wont to call Shields Financial. She was certainly proud of everything her men had accomplished-especially Darien, who had only taken the helm when he was just twenty-three years old and had brought Shields Financial at the height of its success-but she wished that they weren't always so work oriented. She remembered the first few months of Walter's retirement and how bored he was. Without work, Walter had turned into her shadow, always following her around and trying to 'help' her. "Is this about Serena, Darien?" she asked tentatively.
Darien's face turned into a scowl. "My trip to London has nothing to do with _that_ woman!" he growled fiercely. He hadn't mentioned Serena's name ever since she left, preferring to call her 'that woman', 'her' or even 'dad's physical therapist.' He placed his last tie in his suitcase and closed it firmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch."
"_Don't_ you take that tone with me, Darien Beauford Shields. I am your mother and I will not be spoken to in that manner." The soft, wistful expression on her face vanished and was replaced with a stern look that oozed with authority. She had the 'mom face' that Darien was so used to seeing as a mischievous and occasionally rebellious boy.
Darien immediately repented his harsh words to his mother. "I'm sorry mom, but I really do have to catch my flight. I'll be back the week after Christmas, maybe later," he said as he pecked her on the cheek and dashed out the door.
She shook her head at her son's retreating back and thought sadly that it's been a while since she last saw him fully at peace with the world. In fact, the last time she saw Darien truly happy was on the day of Amy's wedding when he was dancing with Serena. As a mother, she resented and even hated Serena for the pain she had inflicted on her son but as a person, she couldn't help but pity them both. It was obvious the two of them were suffering before Serena left but from what, Candace could only speculate. It seemed that on the day of Amy's wedding, something happened to make Serena pull away from Darien. That could only mean either Darien had done something to hurt her unintentionally, or she had done something to hurt Darien and was feeling guilty because of it. Either way, Candace wasn't sure running away was the right way to solve their problems. Every time she broached the subject with Walter, he seemed to always change the subject, leading her to believe that he knew more than he was letting on.
"I just hope Darien either gets this mess with Serena straightened out or he finds himself a new woman and move on with his life. I don't know how much more of this bitterness he can take."
**Toronto**
Christmas day had been as fun as could be expected for Serena and her family. After they had opened their presents, she went to the cemetery with Sammy and Celeste to visit her parents and light candles in their memory. They couldn't stay long because it was unusually cold for this time of year and the blanket of snow on the ground prevented them from sitting down and getting comfortable. Then they went back to the house and reminisced about the good old days. Finally, Sammy left to go to Mika's house for her family's Christmas dinner, leaving Celeste and her to have dinner with Raye and her family.
From Raye's house, they called Amy and wished her a merry Christmas, teasing her about her 'gift' to her husband. As usual, Amy let the comments slide and refused to take the bait, focusing instead on Serena and her condition. Being in her fifth month of pregnancy, Serena's stomach was starting to get pleasantly round. Raye often teased her about her 'pregnancy waddle' and her emotional highs and lows. Serena told Amy excitedly that she was having a baby girl but she had no idea what to name her yet. Amy suggested Apollonia but quickly retracted it when she heard the room explode in laughter over the speakerphone. The laughter stopped abruptly when Zach got on the line and told them that his mother's name was Apollonia, then told them that he was just teasing when they started apologizing all at once. Amy told them that the weather in LA was very warm and balmy, the complete opposite of the weather in Toronto. After debating the pros and cons of Christmas without snow, with the cons side winning by a narrow margin, they hung up the phone and continued with their celebration, with Serena finishing the majority of the turkey that Raye had prepared. While everyone else was digesting their food in the living room, Serena was in the kitchen raiding Raye's fridge. She had a craving for something but she couldn't put her finger on it. Finally, her eyes rested upon a bottle of sweet pickles and mayonnaise. Grinning to herself, she fished the ingredients out of the fridge and walked back to the living room.
"What's that you got there, Sere?" asked Justin as he played with Kayla's new See 'N Say, courtesy of Serena. "Just a second, sweetie, Daddy's playing," he said to his daughter, who was looking longingly at her toy. Raye smacked Justin upside the head and gave the toy to her daughter, who began babbling and gurgling happily. Justin kissed his daughter on top of her head and smiled sheepishly at Raye, who pretended to scowl at him.
"I hope you don't mind Raye, but I was feeling a bit peckish and decided to raid your stash," Serena replied, plopping down on the couch beside her aunt who looked at her snack food of choice rather askance. She ignored Celeste and began dipping the pickles into the mayonnaise, offering one to Justin. "Want some?"
"Sure," Justin replied, not checking to see what it was. The girls laughed at the expression on his face as he struggled to swallow the pickle. He shivered in disgust and used a tissue to wipe his tongue free of the aftertaste. To make matters worse, when Kayla toddled over to her dad to give him a kiss on the nose, she wrinkled her own nose as she smelled his breath.
"'Tinky," she said in her baby way. She giggled delightedly when Justin lay her down on the carpet and blew on her stomach. "Ddddaddy! 'Top! 'Top pease!" she gasped, laughing uncontrollably and pushing his head away with her chubby hands. Justin smiled at her lovingly and stopped. Kayla frowned contemplatively and lifted up her dress again, pointing at her stomach. "Go daddy, ticko me!"
Serena watched them silently, eating her pickles and mayo and occasionally drinking the pickle juice straight from the jar in pure bliss. Raye looked at her understandingly but disgustedly. "When I was pregnant with Kayla, I was munching on barbecue sauce with bits of Alka-seltzer mixed in. When I felt adventurous, I threw in some green olives."
Justin looked up from the floor. "Remember when you made me drive all the way to the apple orchard for some Red Delicious apples and their homemade apple crumble? I told you they had the exact same pie at the grocery store but you said the one from the farm was fresher and therefore better. I drove an hour and a half and stayed at their house for another two hours while the lady baked it. By the time I got home with a bushel of apples in the red _and_ golden variety and a freshly baked pie with a note from Mrs. Chudleigh explaining why I was gone so long, Raye's cravings took a different turn. This time, she wanted caviar, mustard, and sardines. Where was I supposed to find caviar at a moment's notice?" he asked Serena and Celeste who shrugged sympathetically.
Kayla swatted her father's arm, getting his attention. Once again, she pointed at her tummy. "Ticko, daddy," she ordered in a tone very much like her mother. Justin groaned and rolled his eyes. He looked pleadingly at Raye, who just raised her eyebrow mercilessly.
"What are you looking at me for? You started this little game, now you finish it," she declared.
"Daddddy!" screamed Kayla. "Ticko!"
Justin groaned again and glanced wearily at Serena and Celeste. "See what I have to put up with? These women of mine..." Shaking his head ruefully, he bent down and blew on Kayla's stomach once more, eliciting squeals of joy from the toddler.
'I wish Darien was here,' Serena thought out of the blue. She rubbed her protruding belly gently and forced herself to harden her heart. 'But he's not so stop wishing that he was. He doesn't want you, and he sure as hell doesn't want to be tied down with a child.'
She gazed at the family enviously. Raye had joined her husband on the floor in tickling their demanding daughter on the stomach. They were the picture of the perfect family-the one she had been dreaming of her whole life. Serena tore her eyes away from the happy trio and blinked away the tears. 'If Darien ever found out about this, I don't know how he'd react. He could fight for her, accept her in his life or just ignore her. The thing that would hurt me the most is for him to resent or even hate me for burdening him with a child. I'd rather have him ignore us than have him resent us. Then I can hope that he loves the baby at least,' she thought.
Celeste was watching the storm brewing in her niece's eyes and knew what she was thinking. 'Poor Serena. She probably envies Raye for having everything she's always wanted. This must be very hard for her, especially with Ilene passing away just when she needed her the most. I promised Ilene to take care of her children for her before she died and that's exactly what I'm going to do.' Making a big show of looking at the clock and exclaiming over the lateness of the hour, Celeste stood up and began offering excuses for leaving. "Thank you for having us over, Raye. It was wonderful to spend Christmas with you and your family," she said warmly, giving Kayla a hug and Justin a pinch on the cheek.
"You're very welcome, Aunt Celeste. It was wonderful having you. We should do this again sometime," she replied, handing them their coats. She gave both of them hugs at the door. "Thanks for Kayla's new toys; I have a feeling she's not the only one who's going to enjoy it."
Serena huffed and puffed as she struggled to put on her boots. "I swear, it's getting harder and harder to do this everyday," she complained, finally managing to insert her foot in her left boot with Raye's help.
"I know what you mean," Raye said. "I had to get Justin to help me lace up my shoes every time I had to go outside." She winced as Serena looked down on the floor at the mention of having a husband to help her through the worst of her pregnancy. "I'm sorry, Sere. I shouldn't have..."
"You don't have to be sorry about having a loving husband, Raye. I have to get used to the fact that I'm going to have this baby by myself. I never was the traditionalist of the group," she joked weakly. Giving Raye and Justin a final hug and Kayla a kiss on the cheek, Serena turned to the door and stepped outside carefully, followed by her aunt.
"Justin, did you salt the driveway?" asked Raye, a little on the stern side.
"Yup, just before they arrived," he replied dutifully.
"Ok then. Be careful Serena; it's slippery out there," she called. Serena waved back, indicating that she heard the warning and got in the car.
When Celeste had seated herself behind the steering wheel, Serena turned to her and gave her a smile of gratitude.
"Thanks."
Celeste raised an eyebrow and turned on the ignition. "What for, sweetie?"
"For getting me out of there. I love Raye and Justin, but I just couldn't take any more of their family togetherness. I'm being selfish, aren't I?" she asked, staring out the window.
Celeste paused at a stop sign and smiled softly at Serena. "I don't think so. It's natural to feel jealous of what Raye has because you want the best for your child. No matter how much we're all going to love this baby, it still doesn't compare to having the love of both its parents and seeing them together under one roof."
"You're right. I don't know what I'm going to tell her about her father when she gets older," Serena replied sadly.
Celeste squeezed her hand comfortingly when she paused at another stop sign. "Don't worry, sweetie. We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
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.oO January-sixth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
Darien sat at a table in Luigi's Bistro, waiting for his business partners to arrive for their lunch meeting. He personally never wanted to set foot in this restaurant ever again but seeing as how he was outvoted and outnumbered, he reluctantly agreed. 'Since they were the ones who chose this place, you'd think they'd at least show up on time,' he thought bitterly, eyeing the table he and Serena sat in months ago. It was now occupied by an elderly couple obviously very much in love from the way they held hands while they ate, to the way the man gently dabbed at his wife's mouth with the cloth napkin.
'That could have been me and Serena when we got older,' he said to himself. He glanced at his watch and noted that his associates were fifteen minutes late. 'Dammit, where are they? I swear if they don't show up in ten minutes, I'm ordering without them. It's too damn bad if I'm finished eating and ready to get to work by the time they get here.'
Suddenly, he heard an eerily familiar laugh coming from the table to his right. 'Shit, please don't tell me it's her...' he pleaded to whoever was listening silently. 'Anyone but those bitches, anyone but them.' He refused the urge to turn in his seat and satisfy his curiosity. It was inviting trouble if he turned around and faced the woman with the familiar laugh. What if it was who he thought it was and she saw him looking at her? At them?
There it was again, this time accompanied with a flash of red hair. Darien's foot was now tapping impatiently under the table, willing his associates to walk into the restaurant at that very second and save him from the inevitable confrontation he knew was coming. He grasped the arm of a passing waiter, almost causing him to drop the tray of seafood linguine that he was about to deliver to another table.
"Excuse me, but do you know if the rest of my party has arrived yet?" he asked a little desperately.
The waiter looked at him in annoyance, remembering him from that day he made a big production about the woman he was meeting for lunch, and how he toppled over the artificial tree behind him. He scowled; this lovestruck act was really getting old, even for a closet romantic like him. "No sir, I don't believe your party has arrived yet, but I will check for you, if you want Mr. Shields," he responded snootily.
"That's ok." The waiter nodded his head once and went on his way. Darien once again glanced at his watch in sheer annoyance. 'What is it about this place that makes the people I'm meeting late?' he wondered.
"So, it is you." Darien snapped his head up and groaned inwardly. 'Damn, damn, damn, damn! I _so_ do not need this now!'
"Beryl, how lovely to see you again." Sarcasm laced Darien's words heavily. Beryl pouted playfully and seated herself down beside him. "I don't recall asking you to sit down at my table," he scowled.
"Come, come Darien. Where are your manners? Don't tell me you were gonna let a lady stand in your presence unwelcomed?" She was having a great time watching her former rival attempt to clamp down on his anger.
"If you see a lady, let me know, otherwise you can go straight to hell," he said through gritted teeth.
Beryl clucked her tongue and shook her head, pretending to be shocked at the way he treated her. "I see someone still hasn't gotten over what happened seven years ago. Give it up Darien; you've lost. Ann is mine and will always be mine."
"You can take that whore and shove her up your ass, although I'm willing to bet you'd enjoy that very much. No Beryl, I'm very much over Ann so if you're through marking your territory, I'd appreciate it if you got your skanky ass out of that seat before I lose my appetite completely." Darien frowned when she made no move to get up. "Are you as deaf as you are a slut? What do you want, Beryl?"
"Look at the pot calling the kettle black. You Darien, are nothing more than a man-whore so I would stop with the juvenile insults cuz I know you enjoy a good pussy just as much as I do," Beryl sneered. Darien turned his nose up in disgust.
"Not only do you play the part of a common whore, you also talk like one," Darien retorted.
Beryl pretended to be hurt by his barbs. "That wasn't very nice Darien. What would your next conquest say if she heard you speaking to me like that?" she pouted.
Darien shrugged and opened up his menu. "You know what they say, 'tit for tat.' I know how much you enjoy _that_ game." He watched Beryl's face seething in contempt from behind the menu. He was beginning to enjoy himself despite his earlier misgivings. Beryl snapped his menu shut, almost clipping his nose, and stared him in the eye.
"Listen here, smart ass, I don't have time for this shit. I just came here to give you a warning: stay away from Ann. I'm not going to warn you again." Darien glanced over his shoulder and saw Ann digging in to her lasagna. He raised his eyebrow and smirked.
"Hark, is that jealousy I hear in your voice? Whatsa matter Beryl, afraid Ann's still batting on the coed team or maybe it's because I have something you don't have?" he taunted in a singsong voice. Darien almost laughed out loud when Beryl's face scrunched up in undisguised fury. She rose from her seat and smacked him resoundingly upside the head before stalking off to her table. When she got to her seat, she made sure to catch Darien's attention before she leaned over and grabbed Ann in a steamy kiss that lasted for a full thirty seconds, getting the attention of every male in the room. 'What is it about two women kissing that drives men wild?' Beryl thought absently. When she pulled away, she threw a smirk at Darien, who rolled his eyes in return, and turned her focus onto a dazed Ann.
"What was that for, honey?" Darien heard Ann ask when she got her breath back.
Beryl, despite her normally crude nature towards other people, stroked Ann's face lovingly. "Nothing baby. I just missed you while I was gone."
Ann beamed and leaned over for another kiss. "Thanks sweetie, but you were only gone for about five minutes. Did you take care of business already?"
Beryl glared in Darien's direction but if Ann noticed it, she gave no indication of it. "Of course I did, love. I always take care of what's mine," she replied.
She tasted a bite of her fettuccine alfredo and found it to her liking. "Here baby, taste this," she said, winding some pasta up on her fork and feeding it to Ann gently.
Ann closed her eyes and licked her lips appreciatively, causing shivers of arousal to go up and down Beryl's spine. "It's delicious. I love you, sweetie."
Beryl laced her fingers through Ann's and smiled triumphantly. "I love you too, baby."
Back at his table, Darien was fighting the urge to gag at the over-excessive display of attention those two women were displaying. Glancing up, he noticed his associates being led to his table by Nemo. 'Finally, I wonder what their excuse is _this_ time,' he thought.
"Well gentlemen, to what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed presence?" he asked when they were seated. The thee men winced at their boss' acid tone and urged the pre-appointed foreman to offer up their excuse.
"Well, you see, sir..."
"Save it. I hope none of you are hungry yet because we're not eating until we get our work done," Darien said vindictively. The men groaned inwardly and took out their files from their briefcases. They had been starving on the way to the restaurant but got held up in traffic when a garbage truck collide with a cement truck, both vehicles spilling their cargo on the street.
"Okay Sanchez, talk to me about the problems we're having with the return from the end of the fiscal year..."
**Toronto**
Serena was spending the Saturday in her local public library, reading up on child rearing. Wasting away the afternoon in the library wasn't how she wanted to spend her weekend, but since the library thought she lost a book although she was positive that she had returned it and had sent her a letter with the option of either paying a thirty-six dollar fine or paying the ridiculous amount of forty-five dollars to replace the book which couldn't have cost more than five, Serena decided to just let her library card expire and take her chances. 'Besides, they can't stop me from looking at the books in the building. I _pay_ their salaries dammit.' Serena looked around the room for the librarian, positive that she would recognize her from the time she had angrily stormed in here, demanding 'satisfaction' from the frazzled woman who had no idea what she was talking about.
Serena selected a few books on the shelf and took them to an empty table where she proceeded to review the titles. There was "Pregnancy for Dummies," "What to Expect When You're Expecting," "So...You're Pregnant, Now What?" and her favourite, "The Single Woman's Guide to Pregnancy." The last title sounded so judgmental in its effort to sound authoritative that it appealed to her wry sense of humour.
As she studied the books, one thing was pretty clear: they each had conflicting facts. One book told her to eat more vegetables and avoid fish and another book told her to eat fish and avoid broccoli. One book told her to walk for about two miles each day and the other one told her to do yoga instead. If one book suggested not to use 'baby talk' in front of her daughter, she was certain the other books would contradict it. Serena slammed the books shut in disgust, causing the other patrons, including the stern-faced librarian, to frown disapprovingly at her. She smiled sheepishly and waited for them to return to whatever it was that they were doing before rolling her eyes.
Serena rubbed her stomach lightly. For the past two months, she had been feeling the baby moving around in her womb, as if she were doing somersaults within her little nest. Today, however, her baby was being more active than usual. She could feel tiny pokes in her stomach, as if her baby was trying to remind her mother of her presence. "Okay, okay. I know you're in there, no need to poke," she whispered. Serena gathered the books and stood up to return them to their proper shelves. 'Maybe I should look at a few name books while I'm here. At the rate I'm going, her high school principal will call her 'Baby Girl Mathis' because I still haven't decided on her name yet.'
Just as she was about to reach the shelves, Serena dropped her books in shock and squealed loudly, clutching her stomach. A number of people were alarmed to see a pregnant woman just standing there with her books on the floor and her eyes bugging out. The librarian rushed over to her instantly.
"Miss, is there anything I can do for you?" she asked worriedly.
Serena turned delighted eyes towards her and yanked the woman's hand, placing it on her stomach. "My baby just kicked. This is the first time she's ever kicked this hard." Serena turned to the crowd of expectant faces. "My baby just kicked for the first time," she explained. Her audience smiled at her indulgently before returning to their own affairs. "If she keeps this up, she's going to hit me in the face with my own breast," she joked at the dignified woman whose hand she had not yet released.
The lady softened her expression a bit but nevertheless kept the perpetually sour expression upon her face. "That's lovely dear, although I strongly advise you to refrain from making loud outbursts such as the one we were all just treated to a while ago. This _is_ a library you know," she sniffed proudly, looking at Serena over the top of her glasses. She helped Serena gather her fallen books and went back to work.
"Spoilsport," Serena muttered. With her hand still on her belly, she selected a few baby name books and took them back to the table. She opened one and flipped to the girls' section. 'Let's see...there's Theresa...naw, it reminds me of that girl who's always in tears on that crazy soap opera Passions-I hate that girl...how about Maxine? I don't know...Maxine Mathis? It doesn't have a good ring to it. How about Alanis?' Serena scrunched up her nose and shook her head.
'Why don't I give her name that reflects our ancestry? Let's see...mom was half Irish and half Italian, daddy's family was from Scotland and somehow got a bit of Japanese mixed in there a long, long time ago...I could name her Ireland or Terra, after land, or Asia..." Serena chuckled to herself. 'Why don't I just dress her up in a potato sack and name her Hattie Mae?'
She flipped through the other books. 'I could name her something that sounds deeply profound like some of the names I've been hearing these days. There's Harmony...bleech....I know that Mary from the palliative care ward at the hospital named her daughter Sequoia because she weighed ten pounds, fifteen ounces when she was born....poor kid. Poor Mary! No wonder she was in labour for thirty-nine hours. Janet from hospital admin. named her daughter River because she was conceived in one when she and her husband went camping. I _think_ Cecilia from the cafeteria named her daughter Mercedes because she was busy seducing Dr. Holbrook in the backseat of his car the night she conceived. Maybe I should name my daughter Tylenol or Corona because without them, Darien would have been lucid enough to know what he was doing...or who, in my case. Or I could name her Cookie, because if it wasn't for Lita's cookies, I wouldn't have even been down in the kitchen in the first place...So many choices, so little time,' she thought idly.
Finally, after two hours of poring over various books and websites using the library computer, Serena decided to head home, no closer to picking the perfect name than she was when she first started. She packed up her notes and the printed sheets of names she thought were good candidates and walked out the door. She glanced at her car thoughtfully, remembering the advice she read in the baby books.
'Should I walk home or should I drive? That one book said driving while pregnant was the equivalent of playing Russian roulette. But the other book said that walking long distances isn't good for pregnant women. What should I do?' She sat down in her car for fifteen minutes, contemplating what her next action would be until she decided to swallow her pride and ask Raye what to do. After laughing at her expense for a few minutes, Raye told her to sit tight and wait for Justin to walk there and drive her home.
After about ten minutes of waiting patiently in the car with the heat turned up, Serena was shocked out of her near-sleep by a figure knocking insistently on her window. Serena could hear him saying something as he was pounding on the window but his scarf and ski mask muffled her words. Thoroughly frightened, Serena locked her doors and leaned on the horn, sending a shrill blast through the wintry air. The man panicked and started waving his arms frantically. Serena could hear him begging her to stop honking the horn but she shook her head stubbornly and leaned on the horn even harder. Finally, after drawing the attention of many people on the street, some of whom rushed to her aid, the masked man was restrained. One of the men holding down his arms whisked off his mask with a flourish.
"Justin!" Serena exclaimed. She smiled sheepishly at him, earning her a scowl, and at the men holding him down.
"You know this man, miss?" the burly man who unmasked Justin asked. Serena nodded and they reluctantly released him.
"I'm really sorry; I didn't know who he was because he was wearing the ski mask. When he started knocking on the window, I thought he wanted to attack me," she explained. The men laughed and slapped Justin on the back.
"Why didn't you just take your mask off instead of scaring the lady half to death?" they asked. Justin turned red and mumbled something they couldn't hear. "What was that?"
"I _said_ it was cold," he repeated rather testily. The men laughed again and left them alone. Justin got in the driver's seat and waited for Serena to get in.
"Justin?" Serena asked softly.
"What?"
Serena bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "Thanks a lot for coming to pick me up. I know you probably had better things to do than to help out your annoying little sister on such a cold day," she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes. Justin's grim face relaxed and he smiled at her. 'I knew he would fall for the puppy face. Nobody can resist the puppy face,' she crowed.
"Don't think for one minute you've won me over with your puppy face," he told her matter-of-factly. He saw she was about to protest and began speaking again before she could get a word in. "You owe me big time for this, _sis_.
And trust me, when I collect, it's going to hurt."
Serena buckled her seatbelt and waited for him to turn on the engine. 'Rats,' she pouted. 'He knows me too well.'
***********************
.oO February-seventh month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
'God, I hate Valentine's Day.' Darien plowed through his office, rolling his eyes at the women bawling over the flowers they've received from their significant others. 'Geez, this is a place of business, not a love factory. Can't they save this mushy stuff for when they get home?'
"Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Shields," his secretary greeted as he passed by. Darien whirled around and advanced on the poor woman who was wondering what got her normally uptight boss' ass.
"What did you say?" he asked in a low voice. She gulped nervously and hid her shaking legs under her desk.
"Um...Happy Valen-"
Darien held up his hand to stop her abruptly. "I don't want to hear those words uttered in my presence, got that? There is no such thing as a 'Valentine's Day!' It's just a stupid holiday that Hallmark made up to get gullible people like you to shell out money on a useless card you're probably going to throw away after realizing the one who gave it to you isn't worth more than the drivel written on that cheap piece of crap that he gave you!" Darien paused and looked at the stricken woman's face. Feeling guilty for totally screwing around with her belief system, he took out his wallet and handed his secretary-whose name, ironically, is Valerie-a fifty-dollar bill.
"I'm sorry for going off on you like that, Val. Here...buy yourself something nice," he said, thrusting the bill in her face. Valerie's eyes widened in she shook her head in embarrassment. "What? Oh, I see. Here." Darien took out another fifty and gave it to her. "This should be enough for a fancy dinner with your boyfriend, huh? Really, I'm very sorry for yelling at you. Happy...Valentine's Day," he choked out. Valerie watched him saunter into his office and shut the door, before lifting up the phone and dialing her friend in the human resources department.
"Natalie Globe."
"Hey Nat, it's me. Guess what Mr. Shields gave me..."
Meanwhile, Darien was sitting in his office, totally unaware that his employees were discussing his aversion for Valentine's Day. He unlocked a drawer in his desk and took out a framed picture. It was of himself and Serena at Disneyland. In it, he was pretending to fight Donald Duck for Serena's affections and she was playing the coquettish female, enjoying their attentions. He smiled fondly, remembering that magical day and every day leading up to Amy's wedding when everything blew up in his face. He wiped the dust from the glass before he placed the frame back in the drawer and locked it.
Darien tried to get back to work but couldn't concentrate. He swiveled his chair and looked out the window, staring blankly out at the city that seemed so carefree. Los Angeles was not the city for a man in a depressed state. It was a city of extreme excesses and shortages. The rich and the poor lived side-by-side and co-existed in blissful ignorance of their fellow man. If it was a dog-eat-dog world, then LA was certainly its epicenter. Darien sighed heavily. For a man on top of the world, he sure felt like he was the one carrying it on his shoulders.
He put his hand on the glass and wished that he could feel the wind caressing his skin. He watched the smog settle on the city like a cloak, hiding it from his prying eyes. 'That's the way I feel right now, like a shroud has been placed over my heart and only Serena is capable of lifting it, but the only problem is, does she want to?'
**Toronto**
Serena was downtown waiting for Celeste to arrive at the Second Cup coffee bar so they could go shopping together. Valentine's Day had come and gone with hardly an acknowledgement from her. She saw the nurses on her floor mooning over the new doctor and scoffed at the hearts decorating the otherwise dismal halls of the hospital. Never in her entire life had she been so disillusioned with Valentine's Day as she had been this year.
She found a seat close to the window after ordering a hot chocolate and a slice of their carrot cake. Her stomach, which was well on its way to bursting, was somewhat hidden from view by the oversized padded armchair. She watched a man wearing a very loud shirt and pleather pants making his rounds with the women sitting peacefully throughout the cozy establishment. She smiled as she watched him get rejected by every single one of his prospects, including the barista. She was glancing out the window, watching the people wading through the snow and slush when she felt someone sit down in front of her.
"Oh, there you are, Aunt Celes-" She stopped her sentence abruptly when she noticed that the person in front of her was not her aunt, but the man with the loud shirt, which seemed to become even louder now that it was right in front of her. She scowled as her eyes were automatically drawn to the hideously designed shirt; the pattern swirled around on the fabric as if it had a mind of its own. She failed to notice before that his shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a fake-looking gold medallion and a large tuft of chest hair. Serena was hard-pressed to keep her eyebrow from rising in disgust. The man smiled, the lamplight glinting off his gold tooth.
"Is there something I can help you with, sir?" she asked a little disdainfully.
"Yeah toots. Howsa bout you and me get to know each other over a cup of coffee?" he asked, touching her hand.
Serena yanked her hand away and started to unconsciously wipe it on her shirt under the table. "How about we don't and we say we did?"
The man stuck out his bottom lip and made a poor attempt at a pout. "Aw c'mon sweets, do it for Rocko," he cajoled.
"_I_said_ no_." Serena narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists.
"You know, I saw you from across the room and I knew I just had to meet you," Rocko said, trying a new tactic.
Serena raised her eyebrow mockingly, feeling her patience wearing thin. "Was this before, or after, every woman rejected you?" To his credit, Rocko had the grace to blush.
"Why you gotta be so harsh, toots?"
Serena pushed her chair back and stood up, revealing her pregnant stomach. She watched Rocko's face turn to one of shock before he backed away slowly. "Whatsa matter, Rocko, I'm suddenly not so attractive to you anymore?" she taunted, advancing on him like a wolf backing a scared rabbit into a corner.
"Sorry ma'am, I didn't know...Uh, I've got somewhere to be so..." He retreated to another part of the coffee shop with Serena hot on his heels.
"Aw c'mon, Rocko. Let's get that coffee now. Why are you in such a rush all of a sudden? You've finally gotten _one_ woman's attention, don't quit now." She stood above him with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. "You know what? You're just like every single jerk I've ever been with, including my child's father! I told you once to leave me alone you ugly-ass piece of shit, but you wouldn't listen! So now, you got my attention; yay, congratulations," she sneered, clapping her hands and attracting the attention of everyone present.
Rocko covered his face with his newspaper. "Look lady, I'm sorry for bothering you; I won't do it again," he hissed.
Serena bent down so that she was at eye level and pushed his shoulder. "You bet your ass you won't do it again. Women like me don't need fuckers like you bothering us and hounding us for dates, so why don't you get your raggedy ass out of here and leave us alone?" Seeing his stunned face just staring at her, Serena took the newspaper from his hands and started swatting him with it.
"Ow! Quit it, lady! I said stop!" he cried, shielding himself with his hands. "Alright, alright, I'm outta here!" He quickly ran out the door with Serena hitting him all the way. The women cheered when he fell out the door and landed in a snowbank. The barista tapped her on the shoulder and handed her another mug of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.
"On the house," she winked.
Serena beamed and took a sip. "Thanks. All in a day's work."
"Serena? What was that all about?" Celeste asked, apparently having walked in just as Rocko was on his way out and observing the cheers.
Serena slung her arm over her aunt's shoulders and guided her to another table, newspaper still tucked underneath her arm. "Let me tell you a story about a man named Rocko..."
*****************************
.oO March-eighth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Darien, are you sure about this?" asked Trista, between kisses.
Darien didn't answer her, instead opting to unzip her dress and throw it down on the floor beside her shoes. He was at another club with Chad that night and had bumped into Trista. They got to talking and were soon dancing up a storm. He offered to give her a ride home, which she gladly accepted, and was invited up to her apartment for coffee. Trista groaned as Darien trailed kisses down her neck and on her collarbone. She grabbed at his shirt, freeing it from his pants.
Darien lay her down on her bed, before shedding off the rest of his clothes. He settled down on top of her and entered her slowly. "It's been so long," he groaned. Trista could only moan in reply as his pace quickened. She reached up and held onto the bedpost for support.
"Oh God, Darien. I've wanted this the moment I met you!" she cried. Darien raised her legs and propped them up on his shoulders. Trista watched Darien above her through hooded eyes. His face was scrunched up in concentration and his eyes were closed tight. She couldn't help but feel a bit triumphant that it was her in the bed with Darien and not Serena. She cried out wordlessly as she felt her peak building. Trista held on tighter to the post and clenched her inner muscles.
"I'm so close, Darien!" she cried, pulling him even closer to her.
"I love you!" he said through his clenched teeth. Trista gasped in delight. She certainly never expected this.
"Oh Darien..."
"I love you so much, Serena," he whispered. Trista's eyes shot open and she stared at him in shock.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she roared, pushing him off of her.
Darien looked puzzled as he tried to remember his last words. "I said I love you...Serena." He looked away from Trista, who was furiously collecting his clothes after having thrown on a robe. "I'm sorry Trista. I don't know what to say..."
"Save it; you've said plenty. Please just get the hell out of here and don't come back," she said, wiping away her tears. She thrust his clothes to him and paused at the door. "Do me a favour Darien. If you see me walking down the street in your direction, please just turn the other way without acknowledging my presence. Please...just go," she begged and ran to the washroom, locking herself in.
Darien sighed and put on his clothes. Through the washroom door, he could hear Trista weeping bitterly. When he had all his belongings together, he knocked softly on the door. "Trista?" he called. "I'm going now. I'm really sorry about all this..."
"JUST GO AWAY!" she screamed. A second later, he heard a thump on the door, so he assumed that she threw something at it. "GO TO HELL!"
Darien stepped away from the door before he caused any more damage to Trista's self-esteem. "Believe me, I'm already there," he muttered as he walked out of her apartment.
**Toronto**
"Raye?" Serena called as she stepped through Raye's front door. 'Where is that girl? She told me to meet her here at two o'clock so we could go baby shopping.' Serena stepped through the foyer and made her way to the darkened living room.
"SURPRISE! BABY SHOWER!" a group of women shouted when the lights came on. Serena felt tears spring into her eyes as her gaze fell on the group of women gathered in Raye's living room. There were some of her co-workers present, as well as her aunt, Mika and Raye.
"AMY!" Serena's eyes bugged out of their sockets when she saw the familiar blue-black head in the back of the group. Both women hugged each other and laughed. "When did you get here?"
"Just a few hours ago. I have to leave tomorrow morning though because of an midday conference. I just came up here for the shower," she explained.
The shower went on for a few hours, with the standard parlour games such as 'Make a Potato Baby,' and 'Pin the Rattle on the Baby.' She received many baby clothes and a collection of stuffed animals. Practical Amy had started an education fund for the baby for when she grows up. Raye and Justin had given her a beautiful antique quilt and Celeste had given her a stroller that doubles as a car seat. Mika and Sammy had given her a baby swing.
When all the guests were gone, Amy and Raye approached Serena, who was looking forlornly out the window. "You miss him, don't you?" asked Raye. Serena nodded, tears coursing down her face. She turned to Amy, a pleading look upon her face.
"Have you seen him?" she asked, her voice wavy and her lips quivering. Amy nodded. "How was he?"
"He's...he's taking your disappearance hard. Darien hasn't been the same since you left. Candace tells me that he's immersed himself totally in his work and that he hasn't been with any other woman ever since you went away," Amy said.
"Good. He should take it hard," Raye said, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's his own stupid fault he's in this state in the first place."
"Raye..."
"What Amy? Trust me, Serena's better off without that scumbag."
"What about the baby? Would the baby be better off without him?" Amy argued.
"The baby could do with a better father than Darien Shields."
"ENOUGH!" The two arguing friends looked at Serena in shock. "That is enough! I don't want to hear any more about Darien or about how he's supposedly so miserable ever since I left and I don't want to hear any more about how much of a scumbag my baby's father is. I won't hear another bad word against Darien. I don't want my daughter to grow up hating her father because my friends and family hate him on my behalf. The truth is, I don't hate him. If anything, I love him even more for giving me this child," she added softly.
Amy put a hand on her shoulder. "So why don't you want to tell him about her?"
Serena shrugged. "I guess I'm afraid that I'll lose yet another part of him if I tell him. This baby is the only thing I have left of Darien. If I can't have him, then I'll be satisfied to have his child."
"Serena, you are crazy. Get over him, already!" Raye shook her head angrily at her friend.
Serena turned sad eyes towards her concerned friend. "I can't do that, Raye. I can never forget about him. I'm carrying his _child_ for god's sakes! How can I ever forget? I still love him, okay? Can't you understand that? He's a part of me, even though he doesn't know it. I love him and I can't tell him because..."
"Because what, Sere?" Amy whispered.
"Because he hurt me. He hurt me so bad and he doesn't even know how," she whimpered. Serena broke down in helpless tears. Amy and Raye wrapped her up in their arms and held her, crying with her. They stayed that way until Justin got home from his day with Kayla. He saw the women huddled together on the couch, holding onto each other for moral support. Justin wisely turned around and headed out the door without making a sound.
"C'mon sweetie, mommy needs some more time with Aunty Sere and daddy wants more time with his baby," he whispered. Kayla nodded solemnly and patted her dad's cheek.
"Wuv you, daddy."
"I love you too baby."
**********************************
.oO April-ninth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Hey Drew, what's up?" Darien and Drew had agreed to meet at the basketball court at the park near Darien's house to shoot a few hoops. Darien took a shot, missed and cursed fluently.
"Ouch, my virgin ears," joked Andrew. He picked up the ball and started dribbling it, making his way to the basket. "So, how are things going with the Serena situation?"
Having adequately distracted Darien, Drew set up the shot and scored. Darien scowled and grabbed the ball from him. "That was dirty, man." He bounced the ball off Drew's head, caught it and threw it into the basket.
"Nothin' but net," he whooped.
Andrew rubbed his head painfully and smacked Darien in the shoulder.
"So?"
"So?" Darien mimicked. He sighed and watched Andrew sink another basket. "She's gone. What else is there to say?"
"I don't know. Are you going to do anything about it?" Andrew blocked Darien's attempt at the basket.
"What else can I do? She shut me out before she left; I doubt she's going to let me back in after all this time." He took a shot and it went in. "Finally."
"Why are you giving up so easily? I thought I knew you better than that, man."
Darien shrugged and reached for his towel on the bench. The two sat down for a break and splashed water on themselves. "I don't know, how many times do I set myself up for more disappointment, Drew? Tell me something, man. What did she use to talk to you about?"
Andrew took a swig of his water before answering. "Um...she talked about her childhood and all..."
"What about her childhood?" Darien persisted.
"You know I can't tell you that, Darien. All I can say is that she's had a seriously raw deal and it's made her grow up faster than other kids her age. I also know what caused her to run away from you..."
"Tell me!"
"No."
"Then why did you bring it up, you bastard?" Darien punched Andrew in the shoulder.
"I just wanted you to know that she has a valid reason for leaving. If you could just remember..."
Darien raked his hand through his hair in agitation. "Remember _what_? Tell me!"
"I can't! You have to remember for yourself. Your apology would be worthless to Serena if I told you what to be sorry for. Just think back to when all this hostility from Serena started," Andrew hinted. 'Please God, let him remember.'
Darien wracked his brain, trying to recall everything he said and did that could have set her off but came up with nothing. He shook his head wordlessly and cradled his head in his hands. "Dammit!" he swore.
Andrew groaned and rolled his eyes ruefully. 'Those damn Tylenol pills were stronger than I thought.' He patted Darien awkwardly on the back. "Don't worry about it so much man; I'm sure you'll remember soon."
Darien glared at his friend through his fingers. "Are you through patronizing me? I told you I can't remember so just lay off, okay? Besides, why couldn't she just tell me what I did wrong instead of just leaving without saying anything?"
Andrew said nothing, preferring to keep his peace on the subject. 'These two just have to work it out for themselves. I'm tired of being in the middle.' He sighed. "C'mon Darien, let's finish the game."
**Toronto**
Serena woke up that morning with a radiant smile upon her face, despite the indigestion she had been feeling for the past two days. She showered and changed quickly before she went to the kitchen to have breakfast with her aunt. Celeste looked up from the omelet she was making for Serena and noticed the smile upon her face. "Good morning, dear. What's the smile all about?"
Serena kissed her on the cheek and rubbed her tummy. "It's only three more weeks before the baby arrives. I can't wait." Serena sat down at the table and waited for her aunt to join her.
"When are you going on maternity leave?" Celeste placed the finished omelet in front of Serena, who dug in ravenously. She chewed her food dutifully before answering.
"Next week."
"Shouldn't you be taking it easy? You _are_ going to have a baby in three weeks," Celeste pointed out.
"My doctor said it was okay to work just as long as I take it easy. I know a girl who worked until the day she gave birth." Serena finished her eggs in record time and stood up. "Well, I'm off. I start work in about an hour."
"Do you want me to drive you? I have the day off," Celeste offered. Serena smiled and nodded happily. "Let's go then."
They got in the car and were soon speeding off toward the highway. They settled in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio, when all of a sudden, Serena doubled over in pain. Celeste immediately put her hand on Serena's stomach and started to change lanes, trying to pull over to the shoulder.
"What's wrong Serena?"
"I...I think I'm going into labour," she gasped. Celeste managed to stop the car on the side and looked at her watch. The next contraction came just minutes later.
"Serena! We have to call an ambulance! You're going to have the baby soon!" Searching her purse for her cell phone, Celeste dialed 911 and told them their situation and their approximate location on the highway. Then, she made Serena lie down in the backseat and ran around to the other side, narrowly missing the speeding cars.
Serena screamed in pain as she fought her way through another contraction. "Oh my God!"
Celeste held her hand and checked to see how much Serena was dilated. "Serena! You're dilated ten centimeters! Didn't you feel the contractions before this morning?" she screeched.
"No! I thought it was indigestion! I've been feeling this for the past two days!" Serena felt another contraction and bared down. "Oh God, I have to push! I have to push!"
"Then do it!"
"AUGGHH! I HATE YOU DARIEN SHIELDS!" she screamed as she pushed. The pain was unbearable and Serena thought she was going to pass out from the pain. "I can't do this anymore, Aunt Celeste. It hurts too much!" she wept.
"You can do this, Sere. You don't have a choice in the matter. Push!" Celeste ordered. In the distance, they could hear the wail of sirens approaching. "They're coming, Sere. Hang on."
Serena screamed in pain. "I can't...I can't wait for them. Get this kid out of meeee!" she wailed. She gave another push and felt her muscles being stretched and her insides on fire. Suddenly, a baby's cry could be heard above the street noise. "Is she okay? Is she okay?" she asked anxiously.
Celeste beamed through her tears. "She's beautiful Sere. She's so beautiful."
The ambulance crew arrived and took over from there. They cleaned mother and child up and strapped both of them to a stretcher. As Serena was being lifted into the ambulance, she could see that traffic had come to a virtual standstill in order for passing motorists to observe the drama unfolding. Celeste scrambled into the ambulance after her and sat down beside Serena.
"What are you going to name her, honey?"
Serena fingered her daughter's curly black hair and kissed her face gently. "Isabella. Isabella Mathis," she replied weakly. "Isn't she the most beautiful little girl, Aunty?"
Celeste nodded her head and kissed Serena on the forehead. "She takes after her mother." They smiled when Isabella yawned, her closed eyes scrunching up and her heart-shaped lips stretched widely. "Yep, she takes after her mother alright."
"Hey!"
************************************************************************
Phew! That's 45 pages of pure agony! My frigging fingers are going to fall off so please R&R! BIG thank you to Aria for straightening out my pregnancy misconceptions and for not killing when I bugged her ass too much ; )
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Wounded Souls
Chapter 11-Time Apart
By: ~crystal~rose~{@
June 26, 2002
**************************
.oO October-third month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Isn't this new club great?" Chad shouted over the music.
"What?" Darien yelled.
"Great. Isn't this club great?"
Darien nodded his head enthusiastically, then turned around and rolled his eyes. 'I have no idea what he just said,' he thought. They made their way to the bar and got drinks. Darien leaned back and watched the throng of bodies dancing to the beat of the R&B music pulsing in the crowded room.
"Hey there handsome," a velvety feminine voice purred in Darien's ear just as he was about to take a gulp of his beer. He turned around in the barstool and saw a curvaceous redhead wearing a rather revealing black sequined tube top and a red leather miniskirt. Her taut stomach and belly ring showed between the gap in her outfit. By the way her skirt was hanging low on her hips, it was obvious she wasn't wearing panties. "Like what you see?" she asked, licking her lips provocatively.
Darien grinned as he leered over her body unashamedly. "I think I'd like what I don't see even better," he replied suggestively. "Wanna dance?" He didn't wait for a response and instead led her to the dance floor after glancing at Chad who was busy making some moves of his own with a busty brunette. They made their way to the centre of the dance floor and started moving in time with the music.
Darien pulled her against him so that his hands were roving around on her bare stomach. She moved even closer to him, rubbing against his groin purposefully. Darien leaned down and started kissing her neck, moving for the both of them. She moaned lustily and reached around with her arm to bring his mouth even closer to her neck. "So what's your name?" he asked.
The mysterious redhead grinned when she felt the result of her ministrations to his groin. "Serena," she replied. Darien looked up in shock and saw Serena in his arms, staring at him accusingly with a betrayed look upon her face.
"Excuse me?" he choked out.
"I said my name is Claudette. What's yours?" Darien blinked and the woman before him was not the beautiful goddess he had been dreaming about every night since she disappeared from his life. What he saw was a cheap tramp with too much makeup and too little clothing on a mission to get laid that night. 'How could I confuse the two?' he thought. He pushed her away roughly, ignoring her look of bewilderment.
"I'm sorry, I've got to go," he said, backing away hastily. Claudette shrugged carelessly and watched him head back to the bar to talk with his shaggy-haired friend before leaving the club hurriedly.
"Oh well, it's his loss," she said. She flipped her ruddy hair over her shoulder carelessly and set her sights on another man dancing a few feet away from her. "Hey gorgeous, wanna dance?" she asked, dancing towards him, making sure to move in such a way as to display all of her attributes in one way or another. She smiled to herself when she felt his hands upon her waist. 'I hope this one isn't a cold fish like the other one,' she thought. Claudette pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "you wanna get to know each other a little better outside?"
'Why can't I just get her out of my mind?' Darien's inner voice screamed as he drove home. 'It's been three months since I've last seen her. She obviously doesn't want anything to do with me so why do I keep torturing myself?' Darien frowned deeply and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He angrily jabbed at a button on the dashboard panel and listened to the soft strains of jazz music floating through the state-of-the-art speakers he had installed in his newly acquired vehicle. He turned up the volume until it was so loud he couldn't hear himself think, which was just how he wanted it because if he allowed himself that luxury, his thoughts would most certainly wander back to a beautiful blonde woman who had left him without so much as a word.
**Toronto**
Serena sighed as she sat down heavily in the dining room chair of her mother's-correction-her house. She still wasn't used to the idea of her mother being gone or owning the home she had lived in for almost a decade. She glanced around at Sammy and Mika, his long-time girlfriend, and her Aunt Celeste and smiled softly. Ever since their mother's death, Sammy had been making it a point to have dinner at Serena's house every Sunday night. Celeste, who had agreed to move into Serena's old room while she was pregnant, welcomed the opportunity to exercise her culinary skills by cooking for a group of people on a regular basis; not an easy thing to do for a single middle aged woman living alone in the city.
"So Serena, how was your week?" asked Mika. Serena handed her the dish of mashed potatoes before answering.
"It was very hectic. I've realized that I couldn't possibly take the promotion next year if I'm going to be on maternity leave. The hospital needs someone they can rely on to be there. The patients need someone they can rely on to be fully focused on their needs instead of worrying about who's watching my baby, what she's eating, etc.," she replied, taking a forkful of roast chicken. It didn't have the gourmet flair that Lita's cooking had, but Serena knew that her aunt made the food out of love for her family, thus making it the best meal she'd ever eaten. Celeste beamed proudly when she told her so.
"What are you going to do then?" asked Celeste.
"I've already spoken with the board members and told them that I'm going to have to turn down the promotion but I'll stay on in my old position after I get back from maternity leave." Sammy's eyes narrowed upon hearing her news.
"What did they say about that?" he asked in a low voice. The three women glanced at each other warily, knowing that Sammy only took this tone of voice when he was really upset with something...or someone.
Serena decided to choose her words carefully before answering. "They agreed with me. They admitted to being rather hesitant about promoting me knowing that I'll be on maternity leave for a year. They agreed to place me at the top of the candidate list when the next promotion comes up."
"Unbelievable," Sammy muttered under his breath as he set his knife down with a clang on his plate. He felt Mika's hand squeezing his under the table, warning him not to let his temper get the better of him and upset his sister.
"What was that?" Serena asked, knowing full well what he said.
Sammy's eyes flashed in anger and an angry scowl was etched upon his face.
"I think it's unbelievable what you're doing and what you have to sacrifice because that bastard impregnated you and was too stupid to remember!" he yelled, throwing his napkin on the table.
"I'm not sacrificing anything," Serena replied soothingly, trying to get her brother to see things her way. "It's my choice to keep this from Darien and it was my choice to turn down the promotion at work. He didn't force me to sleep with him that night; we were both consenting adults so there's no need to place all the blame on him." She could see that her words had backfired on her because the muscles on Sammy's neck tensed and his eyes narrowed to tiny slits.
"Why do you keep defending that idiot? Fine, the two of you made a mistake but that doesn't mean you should be alone when you raise this child. Besides, even though I hate his guts for what he did to you, telling him would just make your life easier. He could pay child support-hell, he _should_ pay child support! Why are you letting him go from his responsibilities?" he asked, making an effort to subdue his voice, which was rapidly increasing in volume.
"What if I tell him and he decides that he'll make a better parent and sue me for custody? Do you think that a judge would rule in my favour just because I'm the mother? If you hadn't noticed Sammy, the Shields family is rich enough to buy the state of California, probably even the entire country! If they have the power to influence the stock market for the past thirty years, they sure as hell have the power to influence someone in a courtroom. I don't want the first time I get to hold my child to be the last," she hissed, fighting to keep her tears in check. Sammy's face turned apologetic instantly and he rushed to his sister's side.
"I'm sorry, sis. It's not you I'm mad at; it's that Shields bastard. I just wanted you to have a break for once in your life. I'm sorry; I didn't think about the consequences of him knowing about the baby. Please don't cry, Sere," he comforted, letting her cry on his shoulder just as she had let him do to her a month ago. "We'll get through this together, Sere. All of us."
**************************
.oO November-fourth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"All right girls, ante up," Lita said, dealing out the cards. Sitting around the table were Molly and her fellow housekeepers, Alice, Patricia and Diana. "So what do you guys think about Darien?"
Molly studied her cards carefully before throwing a couple of cards back on the table. "Two cards Lita. I've never seen him like this before. He's completely despondent; he wanders around the house aimlessly and he wears a constant frown on his face."
Patricia signaled for another card, which Lita obligingly dealt her. "Girl, that man mopes around the house like nobody's business. If it wasn't for work, he'd have nowhere else to go."
Alice frowned in concentration and tossed three cards on the growing pile. "He just sits there like a speed bump: unnoticed until you practically trip over him. I swear, he's become really irritating lately. Makes me almost wish that Serena girl came back so she could snap him out of this miserable state," she declared as Lita passed her some new cards. She kept her poker face on but inside was screaming with glee. 'Ha ha ha! Three queens! Mama's gonna eat good tonight!'
Diana grinned slyly and looked at Alice a little maliciously. "You're just saying that cuz you know deep down, you want Darien for yourself." She looked down at her cards and practically cursed her rotten luck. A pair of threes. Still, for the sake of keeping up appearances, she allowed herself a half smirk and a raised eyebrow.
"No I don't! I'm completely over Darien and you know it. Besides, I'm going out with Duke now," Alice said dreamily.
Molly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the two women. It was obvious that Alice had always held a sore spot for Serena ever since she moved in, garnering the attention she so desperately craved from Darien. She wasn't out to get him though; Alice had a roving eye much like the object of her affection and wasn't about to get stuck with one man in the prime of her life. Darien was just the man she held in the highest esteem in comparison to the other men she was attracted to, which doesn't say much for Darien because she normally went out with losers who frequented truck stops and called it a romantic date. As for Diana, it was common knowledge among her fellow players that she was a terrible liar and couldn't bluff her way out of an empty room even if her life depended on it. 'She probably has a pair of sevens or something like that,' she thought.
Lita stayed her hand and threw in a few chips. "I raise ten," she said. "Darien's been such a wet blanket these days. He's not fun anymore; all he does is pine over Serena. I wonder what happened between those two. Did you see him after she left? He hardly left his room."
Alice threw in some blue chips in the middle of the table. "I see your ten and raise you twenty. I know what you mean. I went in his room the day after Serena left, fully expecting him to be gone already, to clean it up. I was shocked when I opened his bedroom door and saw him lying there on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. From the bags under his eyes, I suspected that he didn't sleep a wink."
"Too rich for my blood; I fold," Diana said, placing her cards face down on the table. "I feel sorry for him. I've never seen Darien like this, even when he found out about Ann and Beryl. I just hope that Darien can recover from this."
"What about Serena?" asked Molly. "We keep talking about Darien's troubles, but what about hers? Maybe it's Darien's own fault that she left him. We don't know the whole story; we don't know what happened between them. I call and raise you ten," she added as an afterthought.
Patricia looked at her full house and threw in some chips. "I call and raise you fifty," she replied with a stony expression on her face. The other girls threw their cards down on the table in defeat. Patricia smiled and reaped her winnings. "I guess you're right, Molly. Unless Serena comes back, we'll never know the truth but I can't help but feel sorry for Darien. For once in his life, he's gotten his comeuppance as far as women are concerned and he doesn't know what hit him." The girls nodded in agreement and Molly gathered up the cards, shuffling them.
"Alright girls, ante up. This time, aces wild and diamonds rule..."
**Toronto**
"Mmm, Aunt Celeste this is really good," Serena commented after taking a bite out of her slice of pumpkin pie.
"Thanks dear, it was your mother's recipe." Celeste sat down beside Serena at the kitchen table. They ate in silence for a few moments before Serena pushed her chair back and stood up. "Serena?"
Serena grinned and eyed the pork chops her aunt had made for dinner. "I know we just ate but the more that pork chop sits there, the more I want it."
Celeste laughed fondly. "You know Serena, I almost envy you," she said.
Serena looked at her aunt with the pork chop halfway to her mouth. She set her food down and patted her aunt's hand. "Envy me? Why?"
"Oh, it's nothing really," she replied, waving her hand dismissively.
"No, tell me. What's bothering you?"
"Well, it's just that I'm forty-two already and I have nothing to show for it. I don't have a family of my own, I rent an apartment, and I don't even have a steady boyfriend! I hate to admit it, especially to myself, but my biological clock is ticking and I fear that my battery's just about out of juice," she replied regretfully, her eyes glistening just a little.
Serena patted Celeste's hand consolingly and felt tears in her eyes. She had neglected to think about how her aunt felt about her unexpected pregnancy, the woman who was most deserving of a child. "Oh Aunt Celeste, you'll have a family someday. You're a beautiful woman with a successful job and a great personality. I think you just haven't found the one yet. God knows I haven't," she added, more to herself than her aunt.
"Well, Cara from the pediatrics department is setting me up on a blind date with her boyfriend's cousin. I don't know if I should keep the date though. I'm just so sick and tired of this whole dating game," Celeste said wearily.
"Well, don't follow my example and get pregnant without even getting dinner and a movie first," she replied, half joking and half serious. "Your time will come, Aunt Celeste, you'll see. Go on the date; who knows, this might be the one."
Celeste snorted disdainfully. "Yeah right. How many 'right ones' has there been? What if I already found the one, but I threw him away?"
"You're talking about Kyle, aren't you?" Kyle Landsbury was her aunt's boyfriend of two years. Everyone at the time thought that Celeste would finally settle down and raise a family with Kyle but was shocked when they found out that she had turned down his proposal of marriage. All of Celeste's friends, and most especially Ilene, had questioned her decision and called her a fool for letting a wonderful man like Kyle go. Serena understood though why she had to do it. At that point in her life, Celeste just wasn't ready to settle down.
She wanted to live life to the fullest without being tied down with responsibilities, something Serena could relate to back then. Kyle was heartbroken but he understood Celeste's decision. They decided to see other people and one year later, Kyle married a beautiful woman named Amara. They now have three gorgeous children: one girl and twin boys, ages ten and eight respectively.
Celeste nodded her head. "What if he was the one? What if I was the one meant to be with him. Those could've been my children now," she moaned despairingly. Celeste looked down and felt the tears falling from her eyes. She sniffled and wiped them away hastily. She glanced up and saw her niece's worried eyes looking at her. "I don't know what I'm crying about; I'd probably make a horrible mother. I'm too caught up in my work, I live a hectic lifestyle and I'm a selfish woman who chose to have fun instead of getting married to the only man I ever loved. Now I'm reaping what I sowed." Celeste managed a small smile before bursting into tears. She felt Serena wrap her in a warm embrace.
When her tears subsided, Serena took her by the shoulders and forced her to look into her eyes. "Don't ever say such things about yourself, Aunt Celeste. You would make a wonderful mother; just look at Sammy and me. Without you, our mom would have fallen apart after everything that happened after daddy died. We could always go to you when we needed someone to talk to if we felt our parents were being unfair or something. We've always considered you our second mother, you know. You were always there for us, Aunt Celeste, and _that_ is what makes you a good mother.
"As for not marrying Kyle, you don't have to explain your reasons. I understand what you were feeling because that was how I felt too. You didn't want to get trapped in a marriage with a man you weren't sure you loved. What if you _had_ married him, had a family and _then_ found out that he wasn't the one after all? If you had reservations about him during your courtship, don't you think those worries would have translated to your married life? I don't think you would have wanted to raise your children in that environment," Serena replied sagely.
Finally Celeste cracked a tiny smile. "Thanks Serena. That really means a lot to me. I never thought you and Sammy felt that way about me and I'm honoured." She gave Serena another hug and then giggled. Serena looked at her curiously, wondering what was so funny. "Courtship? What century are you living in?" she replied teasingly at Serena's puzzled expression, which quickly turned into mock indignation.
"Here I am trying to cheer you up and what do you do? Make fun of me! I'll have you know I couldn't think of a better word than that. What was I supposed to use, dateship?" she asked touchily.
Celeste laughed and ruffled Serena's hair affectionately. "No, you had it just right. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena had a feeling she was talking about something more than her use of synonyms. She smiled, glad to have helped her aunt feel better about herself like she had done so many times for her.
"I thought so."
**********************************
.oO December-fifth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Are you sure you want to do this son?" Candace asked as she watched her son packing his clothes in a suitcase. "It's a week before Christmas! Surely business can wait?"
Darien shook his head stubbornly at his mother without taking the time to stop packing. "Mom I've been through this already. I have to go to London and see how things are going over there. The London branch is in the process of hiring a new CFO and it's my job as owner and CEO to oversee things. Wouldn't want an incompetent fool to just walk in from the streets and destroy the company from the inside, you know?"
"But surely they can find their own Chief Financial Officer? You make them sound like a bunch of mindless idiots who can't do anything without your say," she argued.
Darien grinned at his mother rakishly. "That's because they can't."
"But Darien honey, it's a holiday!" she protested. "I'm sure they celebrate Christmas in England."
"This is business mom; we can't stop working just because of a little holiday," he explained patiently, as if he were talking to a five year old.
Candace sighed in frustration. Thank goodness her husband had the presence of mind to retire seven years ago. She wouldn't know what to do if both Walter _and_ Darien were still working at 'damned company,' as she was wont to call Shields Financial. She was certainly proud of everything her men had accomplished-especially Darien, who had only taken the helm when he was just twenty-three years old and had brought Shields Financial at the height of its success-but she wished that they weren't always so work oriented. She remembered the first few months of Walter's retirement and how bored he was. Without work, Walter had turned into her shadow, always following her around and trying to 'help' her. "Is this about Serena, Darien?" she asked tentatively.
Darien's face turned into a scowl. "My trip to London has nothing to do with _that_ woman!" he growled fiercely. He hadn't mentioned Serena's name ever since she left, preferring to call her 'that woman', 'her' or even 'dad's physical therapist.' He placed his last tie in his suitcase and closed it firmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch."
"_Don't_ you take that tone with me, Darien Beauford Shields. I am your mother and I will not be spoken to in that manner." The soft, wistful expression on her face vanished and was replaced with a stern look that oozed with authority. She had the 'mom face' that Darien was so used to seeing as a mischievous and occasionally rebellious boy.
Darien immediately repented his harsh words to his mother. "I'm sorry mom, but I really do have to catch my flight. I'll be back the week after Christmas, maybe later," he said as he pecked her on the cheek and dashed out the door.
She shook her head at her son's retreating back and thought sadly that it's been a while since she last saw him fully at peace with the world. In fact, the last time she saw Darien truly happy was on the day of Amy's wedding when he was dancing with Serena. As a mother, she resented and even hated Serena for the pain she had inflicted on her son but as a person, she couldn't help but pity them both. It was obvious the two of them were suffering before Serena left but from what, Candace could only speculate. It seemed that on the day of Amy's wedding, something happened to make Serena pull away from Darien. That could only mean either Darien had done something to hurt her unintentionally, or she had done something to hurt Darien and was feeling guilty because of it. Either way, Candace wasn't sure running away was the right way to solve their problems. Every time she broached the subject with Walter, he seemed to always change the subject, leading her to believe that he knew more than he was letting on.
"I just hope Darien either gets this mess with Serena straightened out or he finds himself a new woman and move on with his life. I don't know how much more of this bitterness he can take."
**Toronto**
Christmas day had been as fun as could be expected for Serena and her family. After they had opened their presents, she went to the cemetery with Sammy and Celeste to visit her parents and light candles in their memory. They couldn't stay long because it was unusually cold for this time of year and the blanket of snow on the ground prevented them from sitting down and getting comfortable. Then they went back to the house and reminisced about the good old days. Finally, Sammy left to go to Mika's house for her family's Christmas dinner, leaving Celeste and her to have dinner with Raye and her family.
From Raye's house, they called Amy and wished her a merry Christmas, teasing her about her 'gift' to her husband. As usual, Amy let the comments slide and refused to take the bait, focusing instead on Serena and her condition. Being in her fifth month of pregnancy, Serena's stomach was starting to get pleasantly round. Raye often teased her about her 'pregnancy waddle' and her emotional highs and lows. Serena told Amy excitedly that she was having a baby girl but she had no idea what to name her yet. Amy suggested Apollonia but quickly retracted it when she heard the room explode in laughter over the speakerphone. The laughter stopped abruptly when Zach got on the line and told them that his mother's name was Apollonia, then told them that he was just teasing when they started apologizing all at once. Amy told them that the weather in LA was very warm and balmy, the complete opposite of the weather in Toronto. After debating the pros and cons of Christmas without snow, with the cons side winning by a narrow margin, they hung up the phone and continued with their celebration, with Serena finishing the majority of the turkey that Raye had prepared. While everyone else was digesting their food in the living room, Serena was in the kitchen raiding Raye's fridge. She had a craving for something but she couldn't put her finger on it. Finally, her eyes rested upon a bottle of sweet pickles and mayonnaise. Grinning to herself, she fished the ingredients out of the fridge and walked back to the living room.
"What's that you got there, Sere?" asked Justin as he played with Kayla's new See 'N Say, courtesy of Serena. "Just a second, sweetie, Daddy's playing," he said to his daughter, who was looking longingly at her toy. Raye smacked Justin upside the head and gave the toy to her daughter, who began babbling and gurgling happily. Justin kissed his daughter on top of her head and smiled sheepishly at Raye, who pretended to scowl at him.
"I hope you don't mind Raye, but I was feeling a bit peckish and decided to raid your stash," Serena replied, plopping down on the couch beside her aunt who looked at her snack food of choice rather askance. She ignored Celeste and began dipping the pickles into the mayonnaise, offering one to Justin. "Want some?"
"Sure," Justin replied, not checking to see what it was. The girls laughed at the expression on his face as he struggled to swallow the pickle. He shivered in disgust and used a tissue to wipe his tongue free of the aftertaste. To make matters worse, when Kayla toddled over to her dad to give him a kiss on the nose, she wrinkled her own nose as she smelled his breath.
"'Tinky," she said in her baby way. She giggled delightedly when Justin lay her down on the carpet and blew on her stomach. "Ddddaddy! 'Top! 'Top pease!" she gasped, laughing uncontrollably and pushing his head away with her chubby hands. Justin smiled at her lovingly and stopped. Kayla frowned contemplatively and lifted up her dress again, pointing at her stomach. "Go daddy, ticko me!"
Serena watched them silently, eating her pickles and mayo and occasionally drinking the pickle juice straight from the jar in pure bliss. Raye looked at her understandingly but disgustedly. "When I was pregnant with Kayla, I was munching on barbecue sauce with bits of Alka-seltzer mixed in. When I felt adventurous, I threw in some green olives."
Justin looked up from the floor. "Remember when you made me drive all the way to the apple orchard for some Red Delicious apples and their homemade apple crumble? I told you they had the exact same pie at the grocery store but you said the one from the farm was fresher and therefore better. I drove an hour and a half and stayed at their house for another two hours while the lady baked it. By the time I got home with a bushel of apples in the red _and_ golden variety and a freshly baked pie with a note from Mrs. Chudleigh explaining why I was gone so long, Raye's cravings took a different turn. This time, she wanted caviar, mustard, and sardines. Where was I supposed to find caviar at a moment's notice?" he asked Serena and Celeste who shrugged sympathetically.
Kayla swatted her father's arm, getting his attention. Once again, she pointed at her tummy. "Ticko, daddy," she ordered in a tone very much like her mother. Justin groaned and rolled his eyes. He looked pleadingly at Raye, who just raised her eyebrow mercilessly.
"What are you looking at me for? You started this little game, now you finish it," she declared.
"Daddddy!" screamed Kayla. "Ticko!"
Justin groaned again and glanced wearily at Serena and Celeste. "See what I have to put up with? These women of mine..." Shaking his head ruefully, he bent down and blew on Kayla's stomach once more, eliciting squeals of joy from the toddler.
'I wish Darien was here,' Serena thought out of the blue. She rubbed her protruding belly gently and forced herself to harden her heart. 'But he's not so stop wishing that he was. He doesn't want you, and he sure as hell doesn't want to be tied down with a child.'
She gazed at the family enviously. Raye had joined her husband on the floor in tickling their demanding daughter on the stomach. They were the picture of the perfect family-the one she had been dreaming of her whole life. Serena tore her eyes away from the happy trio and blinked away the tears. 'If Darien ever found out about this, I don't know how he'd react. He could fight for her, accept her in his life or just ignore her. The thing that would hurt me the most is for him to resent or even hate me for burdening him with a child. I'd rather have him ignore us than have him resent us. Then I can hope that he loves the baby at least,' she thought.
Celeste was watching the storm brewing in her niece's eyes and knew what she was thinking. 'Poor Serena. She probably envies Raye for having everything she's always wanted. This must be very hard for her, especially with Ilene passing away just when she needed her the most. I promised Ilene to take care of her children for her before she died and that's exactly what I'm going to do.' Making a big show of looking at the clock and exclaiming over the lateness of the hour, Celeste stood up and began offering excuses for leaving. "Thank you for having us over, Raye. It was wonderful to spend Christmas with you and your family," she said warmly, giving Kayla a hug and Justin a pinch on the cheek.
"You're very welcome, Aunt Celeste. It was wonderful having you. We should do this again sometime," she replied, handing them their coats. She gave both of them hugs at the door. "Thanks for Kayla's new toys; I have a feeling she's not the only one who's going to enjoy it."
Serena huffed and puffed as she struggled to put on her boots. "I swear, it's getting harder and harder to do this everyday," she complained, finally managing to insert her foot in her left boot with Raye's help.
"I know what you mean," Raye said. "I had to get Justin to help me lace up my shoes every time I had to go outside." She winced as Serena looked down on the floor at the mention of having a husband to help her through the worst of her pregnancy. "I'm sorry, Sere. I shouldn't have..."
"You don't have to be sorry about having a loving husband, Raye. I have to get used to the fact that I'm going to have this baby by myself. I never was the traditionalist of the group," she joked weakly. Giving Raye and Justin a final hug and Kayla a kiss on the cheek, Serena turned to the door and stepped outside carefully, followed by her aunt.
"Justin, did you salt the driveway?" asked Raye, a little on the stern side.
"Yup, just before they arrived," he replied dutifully.
"Ok then. Be careful Serena; it's slippery out there," she called. Serena waved back, indicating that she heard the warning and got in the car.
When Celeste had seated herself behind the steering wheel, Serena turned to her and gave her a smile of gratitude.
"Thanks."
Celeste raised an eyebrow and turned on the ignition. "What for, sweetie?"
"For getting me out of there. I love Raye and Justin, but I just couldn't take any more of their family togetherness. I'm being selfish, aren't I?" she asked, staring out the window.
Celeste paused at a stop sign and smiled softly at Serena. "I don't think so. It's natural to feel jealous of what Raye has because you want the best for your child. No matter how much we're all going to love this baby, it still doesn't compare to having the love of both its parents and seeing them together under one roof."
"You're right. I don't know what I'm going to tell her about her father when she gets older," Serena replied sadly.
Celeste squeezed her hand comfortingly when she paused at another stop sign. "Don't worry, sweetie. We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
*****************************
.oO January-sixth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
Darien sat at a table in Luigi's Bistro, waiting for his business partners to arrive for their lunch meeting. He personally never wanted to set foot in this restaurant ever again but seeing as how he was outvoted and outnumbered, he reluctantly agreed. 'Since they were the ones who chose this place, you'd think they'd at least show up on time,' he thought bitterly, eyeing the table he and Serena sat in months ago. It was now occupied by an elderly couple obviously very much in love from the way they held hands while they ate, to the way the man gently dabbed at his wife's mouth with the cloth napkin.
'That could have been me and Serena when we got older,' he said to himself. He glanced at his watch and noted that his associates were fifteen minutes late. 'Dammit, where are they? I swear if they don't show up in ten minutes, I'm ordering without them. It's too damn bad if I'm finished eating and ready to get to work by the time they get here.'
Suddenly, he heard an eerily familiar laugh coming from the table to his right. 'Shit, please don't tell me it's her...' he pleaded to whoever was listening silently. 'Anyone but those bitches, anyone but them.' He refused the urge to turn in his seat and satisfy his curiosity. It was inviting trouble if he turned around and faced the woman with the familiar laugh. What if it was who he thought it was and she saw him looking at her? At them?
There it was again, this time accompanied with a flash of red hair. Darien's foot was now tapping impatiently under the table, willing his associates to walk into the restaurant at that very second and save him from the inevitable confrontation he knew was coming. He grasped the arm of a passing waiter, almost causing him to drop the tray of seafood linguine that he was about to deliver to another table.
"Excuse me, but do you know if the rest of my party has arrived yet?" he asked a little desperately.
The waiter looked at him in annoyance, remembering him from that day he made a big production about the woman he was meeting for lunch, and how he toppled over the artificial tree behind him. He scowled; this lovestruck act was really getting old, even for a closet romantic like him. "No sir, I don't believe your party has arrived yet, but I will check for you, if you want Mr. Shields," he responded snootily.
"That's ok." The waiter nodded his head once and went on his way. Darien once again glanced at his watch in sheer annoyance. 'What is it about this place that makes the people I'm meeting late?' he wondered.
"So, it is you." Darien snapped his head up and groaned inwardly. 'Damn, damn, damn, damn! I _so_ do not need this now!'
"Beryl, how lovely to see you again." Sarcasm laced Darien's words heavily. Beryl pouted playfully and seated herself down beside him. "I don't recall asking you to sit down at my table," he scowled.
"Come, come Darien. Where are your manners? Don't tell me you were gonna let a lady stand in your presence unwelcomed?" She was having a great time watching her former rival attempt to clamp down on his anger.
"If you see a lady, let me know, otherwise you can go straight to hell," he said through gritted teeth.
Beryl clucked her tongue and shook her head, pretending to be shocked at the way he treated her. "I see someone still hasn't gotten over what happened seven years ago. Give it up Darien; you've lost. Ann is mine and will always be mine."
"You can take that whore and shove her up your ass, although I'm willing to bet you'd enjoy that very much. No Beryl, I'm very much over Ann so if you're through marking your territory, I'd appreciate it if you got your skanky ass out of that seat before I lose my appetite completely." Darien frowned when she made no move to get up. "Are you as deaf as you are a slut? What do you want, Beryl?"
"Look at the pot calling the kettle black. You Darien, are nothing more than a man-whore so I would stop with the juvenile insults cuz I know you enjoy a good pussy just as much as I do," Beryl sneered. Darien turned his nose up in disgust.
"Not only do you play the part of a common whore, you also talk like one," Darien retorted.
Beryl pretended to be hurt by his barbs. "That wasn't very nice Darien. What would your next conquest say if she heard you speaking to me like that?" she pouted.
Darien shrugged and opened up his menu. "You know what they say, 'tit for tat.' I know how much you enjoy _that_ game." He watched Beryl's face seething in contempt from behind the menu. He was beginning to enjoy himself despite his earlier misgivings. Beryl snapped his menu shut, almost clipping his nose, and stared him in the eye.
"Listen here, smart ass, I don't have time for this shit. I just came here to give you a warning: stay away from Ann. I'm not going to warn you again." Darien glanced over his shoulder and saw Ann digging in to her lasagna. He raised his eyebrow and smirked.
"Hark, is that jealousy I hear in your voice? Whatsa matter Beryl, afraid Ann's still batting on the coed team or maybe it's because I have something you don't have?" he taunted in a singsong voice. Darien almost laughed out loud when Beryl's face scrunched up in undisguised fury. She rose from her seat and smacked him resoundingly upside the head before stalking off to her table. When she got to her seat, she made sure to catch Darien's attention before she leaned over and grabbed Ann in a steamy kiss that lasted for a full thirty seconds, getting the attention of every male in the room. 'What is it about two women kissing that drives men wild?' Beryl thought absently. When she pulled away, she threw a smirk at Darien, who rolled his eyes in return, and turned her focus onto a dazed Ann.
"What was that for, honey?" Darien heard Ann ask when she got her breath back.
Beryl, despite her normally crude nature towards other people, stroked Ann's face lovingly. "Nothing baby. I just missed you while I was gone."
Ann beamed and leaned over for another kiss. "Thanks sweetie, but you were only gone for about five minutes. Did you take care of business already?"
Beryl glared in Darien's direction but if Ann noticed it, she gave no indication of it. "Of course I did, love. I always take care of what's mine," she replied.
She tasted a bite of her fettuccine alfredo and found it to her liking. "Here baby, taste this," she said, winding some pasta up on her fork and feeding it to Ann gently.
Ann closed her eyes and licked her lips appreciatively, causing shivers of arousal to go up and down Beryl's spine. "It's delicious. I love you, sweetie."
Beryl laced her fingers through Ann's and smiled triumphantly. "I love you too, baby."
Back at his table, Darien was fighting the urge to gag at the over-excessive display of attention those two women were displaying. Glancing up, he noticed his associates being led to his table by Nemo. 'Finally, I wonder what their excuse is _this_ time,' he thought.
"Well gentlemen, to what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed presence?" he asked when they were seated. The thee men winced at their boss' acid tone and urged the pre-appointed foreman to offer up their excuse.
"Well, you see, sir..."
"Save it. I hope none of you are hungry yet because we're not eating until we get our work done," Darien said vindictively. The men groaned inwardly and took out their files from their briefcases. They had been starving on the way to the restaurant but got held up in traffic when a garbage truck collide with a cement truck, both vehicles spilling their cargo on the street.
"Okay Sanchez, talk to me about the problems we're having with the return from the end of the fiscal year..."
**Toronto**
Serena was spending the Saturday in her local public library, reading up on child rearing. Wasting away the afternoon in the library wasn't how she wanted to spend her weekend, but since the library thought she lost a book although she was positive that she had returned it and had sent her a letter with the option of either paying a thirty-six dollar fine or paying the ridiculous amount of forty-five dollars to replace the book which couldn't have cost more than five, Serena decided to just let her library card expire and take her chances. 'Besides, they can't stop me from looking at the books in the building. I _pay_ their salaries dammit.' Serena looked around the room for the librarian, positive that she would recognize her from the time she had angrily stormed in here, demanding 'satisfaction' from the frazzled woman who had no idea what she was talking about.
Serena selected a few books on the shelf and took them to an empty table where she proceeded to review the titles. There was "Pregnancy for Dummies," "What to Expect When You're Expecting," "So...You're Pregnant, Now What?" and her favourite, "The Single Woman's Guide to Pregnancy." The last title sounded so judgmental in its effort to sound authoritative that it appealed to her wry sense of humour.
As she studied the books, one thing was pretty clear: they each had conflicting facts. One book told her to eat more vegetables and avoid fish and another book told her to eat fish and avoid broccoli. One book told her to walk for about two miles each day and the other one told her to do yoga instead. If one book suggested not to use 'baby talk' in front of her daughter, she was certain the other books would contradict it. Serena slammed the books shut in disgust, causing the other patrons, including the stern-faced librarian, to frown disapprovingly at her. She smiled sheepishly and waited for them to return to whatever it was that they were doing before rolling her eyes.
Serena rubbed her stomach lightly. For the past two months, she had been feeling the baby moving around in her womb, as if she were doing somersaults within her little nest. Today, however, her baby was being more active than usual. She could feel tiny pokes in her stomach, as if her baby was trying to remind her mother of her presence. "Okay, okay. I know you're in there, no need to poke," she whispered. Serena gathered the books and stood up to return them to their proper shelves. 'Maybe I should look at a few name books while I'm here. At the rate I'm going, her high school principal will call her 'Baby Girl Mathis' because I still haven't decided on her name yet.'
Just as she was about to reach the shelves, Serena dropped her books in shock and squealed loudly, clutching her stomach. A number of people were alarmed to see a pregnant woman just standing there with her books on the floor and her eyes bugging out. The librarian rushed over to her instantly.
"Miss, is there anything I can do for you?" she asked worriedly.
Serena turned delighted eyes towards her and yanked the woman's hand, placing it on her stomach. "My baby just kicked. This is the first time she's ever kicked this hard." Serena turned to the crowd of expectant faces. "My baby just kicked for the first time," she explained. Her audience smiled at her indulgently before returning to their own affairs. "If she keeps this up, she's going to hit me in the face with my own breast," she joked at the dignified woman whose hand she had not yet released.
The lady softened her expression a bit but nevertheless kept the perpetually sour expression upon her face. "That's lovely dear, although I strongly advise you to refrain from making loud outbursts such as the one we were all just treated to a while ago. This _is_ a library you know," she sniffed proudly, looking at Serena over the top of her glasses. She helped Serena gather her fallen books and went back to work.
"Spoilsport," Serena muttered. With her hand still on her belly, she selected a few baby name books and took them back to the table. She opened one and flipped to the girls' section. 'Let's see...there's Theresa...naw, it reminds me of that girl who's always in tears on that crazy soap opera Passions-I hate that girl...how about Maxine? I don't know...Maxine Mathis? It doesn't have a good ring to it. How about Alanis?' Serena scrunched up her nose and shook her head.
'Why don't I give her name that reflects our ancestry? Let's see...mom was half Irish and half Italian, daddy's family was from Scotland and somehow got a bit of Japanese mixed in there a long, long time ago...I could name her Ireland or Terra, after land, or Asia..." Serena chuckled to herself. 'Why don't I just dress her up in a potato sack and name her Hattie Mae?'
She flipped through the other books. 'I could name her something that sounds deeply profound like some of the names I've been hearing these days. There's Harmony...bleech....I know that Mary from the palliative care ward at the hospital named her daughter Sequoia because she weighed ten pounds, fifteen ounces when she was born....poor kid. Poor Mary! No wonder she was in labour for thirty-nine hours. Janet from hospital admin. named her daughter River because she was conceived in one when she and her husband went camping. I _think_ Cecilia from the cafeteria named her daughter Mercedes because she was busy seducing Dr. Holbrook in the backseat of his car the night she conceived. Maybe I should name my daughter Tylenol or Corona because without them, Darien would have been lucid enough to know what he was doing...or who, in my case. Or I could name her Cookie, because if it wasn't for Lita's cookies, I wouldn't have even been down in the kitchen in the first place...So many choices, so little time,' she thought idly.
Finally, after two hours of poring over various books and websites using the library computer, Serena decided to head home, no closer to picking the perfect name than she was when she first started. She packed up her notes and the printed sheets of names she thought were good candidates and walked out the door. She glanced at her car thoughtfully, remembering the advice she read in the baby books.
'Should I walk home or should I drive? That one book said driving while pregnant was the equivalent of playing Russian roulette. But the other book said that walking long distances isn't good for pregnant women. What should I do?' She sat down in her car for fifteen minutes, contemplating what her next action would be until she decided to swallow her pride and ask Raye what to do. After laughing at her expense for a few minutes, Raye told her to sit tight and wait for Justin to walk there and drive her home.
After about ten minutes of waiting patiently in the car with the heat turned up, Serena was shocked out of her near-sleep by a figure knocking insistently on her window. Serena could hear him saying something as he was pounding on the window but his scarf and ski mask muffled her words. Thoroughly frightened, Serena locked her doors and leaned on the horn, sending a shrill blast through the wintry air. The man panicked and started waving his arms frantically. Serena could hear him begging her to stop honking the horn but she shook her head stubbornly and leaned on the horn even harder. Finally, after drawing the attention of many people on the street, some of whom rushed to her aid, the masked man was restrained. One of the men holding down his arms whisked off his mask with a flourish.
"Justin!" Serena exclaimed. She smiled sheepishly at him, earning her a scowl, and at the men holding him down.
"You know this man, miss?" the burly man who unmasked Justin asked. Serena nodded and they reluctantly released him.
"I'm really sorry; I didn't know who he was because he was wearing the ski mask. When he started knocking on the window, I thought he wanted to attack me," she explained. The men laughed and slapped Justin on the back.
"Why didn't you just take your mask off instead of scaring the lady half to death?" they asked. Justin turned red and mumbled something they couldn't hear. "What was that?"
"I _said_ it was cold," he repeated rather testily. The men laughed again and left them alone. Justin got in the driver's seat and waited for Serena to get in.
"Justin?" Serena asked softly.
"What?"
Serena bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "Thanks a lot for coming to pick me up. I know you probably had better things to do than to help out your annoying little sister on such a cold day," she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes. Justin's grim face relaxed and he smiled at her. 'I knew he would fall for the puppy face. Nobody can resist the puppy face,' she crowed.
"Don't think for one minute you've won me over with your puppy face," he told her matter-of-factly. He saw she was about to protest and began speaking again before she could get a word in. "You owe me big time for this, _sis_.
And trust me, when I collect, it's going to hurt."
Serena buckled her seatbelt and waited for him to turn on the engine. 'Rats,' she pouted. 'He knows me too well.'
***********************
.oO February-seventh month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
'God, I hate Valentine's Day.' Darien plowed through his office, rolling his eyes at the women bawling over the flowers they've received from their significant others. 'Geez, this is a place of business, not a love factory. Can't they save this mushy stuff for when they get home?'
"Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Shields," his secretary greeted as he passed by. Darien whirled around and advanced on the poor woman who was wondering what got her normally uptight boss' ass.
"What did you say?" he asked in a low voice. She gulped nervously and hid her shaking legs under her desk.
"Um...Happy Valen-"
Darien held up his hand to stop her abruptly. "I don't want to hear those words uttered in my presence, got that? There is no such thing as a 'Valentine's Day!' It's just a stupid holiday that Hallmark made up to get gullible people like you to shell out money on a useless card you're probably going to throw away after realizing the one who gave it to you isn't worth more than the drivel written on that cheap piece of crap that he gave you!" Darien paused and looked at the stricken woman's face. Feeling guilty for totally screwing around with her belief system, he took out his wallet and handed his secretary-whose name, ironically, is Valerie-a fifty-dollar bill.
"I'm sorry for going off on you like that, Val. Here...buy yourself something nice," he said, thrusting the bill in her face. Valerie's eyes widened in she shook her head in embarrassment. "What? Oh, I see. Here." Darien took out another fifty and gave it to her. "This should be enough for a fancy dinner with your boyfriend, huh? Really, I'm very sorry for yelling at you. Happy...Valentine's Day," he choked out. Valerie watched him saunter into his office and shut the door, before lifting up the phone and dialing her friend in the human resources department.
"Natalie Globe."
"Hey Nat, it's me. Guess what Mr. Shields gave me..."
Meanwhile, Darien was sitting in his office, totally unaware that his employees were discussing his aversion for Valentine's Day. He unlocked a drawer in his desk and took out a framed picture. It was of himself and Serena at Disneyland. In it, he was pretending to fight Donald Duck for Serena's affections and she was playing the coquettish female, enjoying their attentions. He smiled fondly, remembering that magical day and every day leading up to Amy's wedding when everything blew up in his face. He wiped the dust from the glass before he placed the frame back in the drawer and locked it.
Darien tried to get back to work but couldn't concentrate. He swiveled his chair and looked out the window, staring blankly out at the city that seemed so carefree. Los Angeles was not the city for a man in a depressed state. It was a city of extreme excesses and shortages. The rich and the poor lived side-by-side and co-existed in blissful ignorance of their fellow man. If it was a dog-eat-dog world, then LA was certainly its epicenter. Darien sighed heavily. For a man on top of the world, he sure felt like he was the one carrying it on his shoulders.
He put his hand on the glass and wished that he could feel the wind caressing his skin. He watched the smog settle on the city like a cloak, hiding it from his prying eyes. 'That's the way I feel right now, like a shroud has been placed over my heart and only Serena is capable of lifting it, but the only problem is, does she want to?'
**Toronto**
Serena was downtown waiting for Celeste to arrive at the Second Cup coffee bar so they could go shopping together. Valentine's Day had come and gone with hardly an acknowledgement from her. She saw the nurses on her floor mooning over the new doctor and scoffed at the hearts decorating the otherwise dismal halls of the hospital. Never in her entire life had she been so disillusioned with Valentine's Day as she had been this year.
She found a seat close to the window after ordering a hot chocolate and a slice of their carrot cake. Her stomach, which was well on its way to bursting, was somewhat hidden from view by the oversized padded armchair. She watched a man wearing a very loud shirt and pleather pants making his rounds with the women sitting peacefully throughout the cozy establishment. She smiled as she watched him get rejected by every single one of his prospects, including the barista. She was glancing out the window, watching the people wading through the snow and slush when she felt someone sit down in front of her.
"Oh, there you are, Aunt Celes-" She stopped her sentence abruptly when she noticed that the person in front of her was not her aunt, but the man with the loud shirt, which seemed to become even louder now that it was right in front of her. She scowled as her eyes were automatically drawn to the hideously designed shirt; the pattern swirled around on the fabric as if it had a mind of its own. She failed to notice before that his shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a fake-looking gold medallion and a large tuft of chest hair. Serena was hard-pressed to keep her eyebrow from rising in disgust. The man smiled, the lamplight glinting off his gold tooth.
"Is there something I can help you with, sir?" she asked a little disdainfully.
"Yeah toots. Howsa bout you and me get to know each other over a cup of coffee?" he asked, touching her hand.
Serena yanked her hand away and started to unconsciously wipe it on her shirt under the table. "How about we don't and we say we did?"
The man stuck out his bottom lip and made a poor attempt at a pout. "Aw c'mon sweets, do it for Rocko," he cajoled.
"_I_said_ no_." Serena narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists.
"You know, I saw you from across the room and I knew I just had to meet you," Rocko said, trying a new tactic.
Serena raised her eyebrow mockingly, feeling her patience wearing thin. "Was this before, or after, every woman rejected you?" To his credit, Rocko had the grace to blush.
"Why you gotta be so harsh, toots?"
Serena pushed her chair back and stood up, revealing her pregnant stomach. She watched Rocko's face turn to one of shock before he backed away slowly. "Whatsa matter, Rocko, I'm suddenly not so attractive to you anymore?" she taunted, advancing on him like a wolf backing a scared rabbit into a corner.
"Sorry ma'am, I didn't know...Uh, I've got somewhere to be so..." He retreated to another part of the coffee shop with Serena hot on his heels.
"Aw c'mon, Rocko. Let's get that coffee now. Why are you in such a rush all of a sudden? You've finally gotten _one_ woman's attention, don't quit now." She stood above him with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. "You know what? You're just like every single jerk I've ever been with, including my child's father! I told you once to leave me alone you ugly-ass piece of shit, but you wouldn't listen! So now, you got my attention; yay, congratulations," she sneered, clapping her hands and attracting the attention of everyone present.
Rocko covered his face with his newspaper. "Look lady, I'm sorry for bothering you; I won't do it again," he hissed.
Serena bent down so that she was at eye level and pushed his shoulder. "You bet your ass you won't do it again. Women like me don't need fuckers like you bothering us and hounding us for dates, so why don't you get your raggedy ass out of here and leave us alone?" Seeing his stunned face just staring at her, Serena took the newspaper from his hands and started swatting him with it.
"Ow! Quit it, lady! I said stop!" he cried, shielding himself with his hands. "Alright, alright, I'm outta here!" He quickly ran out the door with Serena hitting him all the way. The women cheered when he fell out the door and landed in a snowbank. The barista tapped her on the shoulder and handed her another mug of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.
"On the house," she winked.
Serena beamed and took a sip. "Thanks. All in a day's work."
"Serena? What was that all about?" Celeste asked, apparently having walked in just as Rocko was on his way out and observing the cheers.
Serena slung her arm over her aunt's shoulders and guided her to another table, newspaper still tucked underneath her arm. "Let me tell you a story about a man named Rocko..."
*****************************
.oO March-eighth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Darien, are you sure about this?" asked Trista, between kisses.
Darien didn't answer her, instead opting to unzip her dress and throw it down on the floor beside her shoes. He was at another club with Chad that night and had bumped into Trista. They got to talking and were soon dancing up a storm. He offered to give her a ride home, which she gladly accepted, and was invited up to her apartment for coffee. Trista groaned as Darien trailed kisses down her neck and on her collarbone. She grabbed at his shirt, freeing it from his pants.
Darien lay her down on her bed, before shedding off the rest of his clothes. He settled down on top of her and entered her slowly. "It's been so long," he groaned. Trista could only moan in reply as his pace quickened. She reached up and held onto the bedpost for support.
"Oh God, Darien. I've wanted this the moment I met you!" she cried. Darien raised her legs and propped them up on his shoulders. Trista watched Darien above her through hooded eyes. His face was scrunched up in concentration and his eyes were closed tight. She couldn't help but feel a bit triumphant that it was her in the bed with Darien and not Serena. She cried out wordlessly as she felt her peak building. Trista held on tighter to the post and clenched her inner muscles.
"I'm so close, Darien!" she cried, pulling him even closer to her.
"I love you!" he said through his clenched teeth. Trista gasped in delight. She certainly never expected this.
"Oh Darien..."
"I love you so much, Serena," he whispered. Trista's eyes shot open and she stared at him in shock.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she roared, pushing him off of her.
Darien looked puzzled as he tried to remember his last words. "I said I love you...Serena." He looked away from Trista, who was furiously collecting his clothes after having thrown on a robe. "I'm sorry Trista. I don't know what to say..."
"Save it; you've said plenty. Please just get the hell out of here and don't come back," she said, wiping away her tears. She thrust his clothes to him and paused at the door. "Do me a favour Darien. If you see me walking down the street in your direction, please just turn the other way without acknowledging my presence. Please...just go," she begged and ran to the washroom, locking herself in.
Darien sighed and put on his clothes. Through the washroom door, he could hear Trista weeping bitterly. When he had all his belongings together, he knocked softly on the door. "Trista?" he called. "I'm going now. I'm really sorry about all this..."
"JUST GO AWAY!" she screamed. A second later, he heard a thump on the door, so he assumed that she threw something at it. "GO TO HELL!"
Darien stepped away from the door before he caused any more damage to Trista's self-esteem. "Believe me, I'm already there," he muttered as he walked out of her apartment.
**Toronto**
"Raye?" Serena called as she stepped through Raye's front door. 'Where is that girl? She told me to meet her here at two o'clock so we could go baby shopping.' Serena stepped through the foyer and made her way to the darkened living room.
"SURPRISE! BABY SHOWER!" a group of women shouted when the lights came on. Serena felt tears spring into her eyes as her gaze fell on the group of women gathered in Raye's living room. There were some of her co-workers present, as well as her aunt, Mika and Raye.
"AMY!" Serena's eyes bugged out of their sockets when she saw the familiar blue-black head in the back of the group. Both women hugged each other and laughed. "When did you get here?"
"Just a few hours ago. I have to leave tomorrow morning though because of an midday conference. I just came up here for the shower," she explained.
The shower went on for a few hours, with the standard parlour games such as 'Make a Potato Baby,' and 'Pin the Rattle on the Baby.' She received many baby clothes and a collection of stuffed animals. Practical Amy had started an education fund for the baby for when she grows up. Raye and Justin had given her a beautiful antique quilt and Celeste had given her a stroller that doubles as a car seat. Mika and Sammy had given her a baby swing.
When all the guests were gone, Amy and Raye approached Serena, who was looking forlornly out the window. "You miss him, don't you?" asked Raye. Serena nodded, tears coursing down her face. She turned to Amy, a pleading look upon her face.
"Have you seen him?" she asked, her voice wavy and her lips quivering. Amy nodded. "How was he?"
"He's...he's taking your disappearance hard. Darien hasn't been the same since you left. Candace tells me that he's immersed himself totally in his work and that he hasn't been with any other woman ever since you went away," Amy said.
"Good. He should take it hard," Raye said, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's his own stupid fault he's in this state in the first place."
"Raye..."
"What Amy? Trust me, Serena's better off without that scumbag."
"What about the baby? Would the baby be better off without him?" Amy argued.
"The baby could do with a better father than Darien Shields."
"ENOUGH!" The two arguing friends looked at Serena in shock. "That is enough! I don't want to hear any more about Darien or about how he's supposedly so miserable ever since I left and I don't want to hear any more about how much of a scumbag my baby's father is. I won't hear another bad word against Darien. I don't want my daughter to grow up hating her father because my friends and family hate him on my behalf. The truth is, I don't hate him. If anything, I love him even more for giving me this child," she added softly.
Amy put a hand on her shoulder. "So why don't you want to tell him about her?"
Serena shrugged. "I guess I'm afraid that I'll lose yet another part of him if I tell him. This baby is the only thing I have left of Darien. If I can't have him, then I'll be satisfied to have his child."
"Serena, you are crazy. Get over him, already!" Raye shook her head angrily at her friend.
Serena turned sad eyes towards her concerned friend. "I can't do that, Raye. I can never forget about him. I'm carrying his _child_ for god's sakes! How can I ever forget? I still love him, okay? Can't you understand that? He's a part of me, even though he doesn't know it. I love him and I can't tell him because..."
"Because what, Sere?" Amy whispered.
"Because he hurt me. He hurt me so bad and he doesn't even know how," she whimpered. Serena broke down in helpless tears. Amy and Raye wrapped her up in their arms and held her, crying with her. They stayed that way until Justin got home from his day with Kayla. He saw the women huddled together on the couch, holding onto each other for moral support. Justin wisely turned around and headed out the door without making a sound.
"C'mon sweetie, mommy needs some more time with Aunty Sere and daddy wants more time with his baby," he whispered. Kayla nodded solemnly and patted her dad's cheek.
"Wuv you, daddy."
"I love you too baby."
**********************************
.oO April-ninth month of pregnancy Oo.
**LA**
"Hey Drew, what's up?" Darien and Drew had agreed to meet at the basketball court at the park near Darien's house to shoot a few hoops. Darien took a shot, missed and cursed fluently.
"Ouch, my virgin ears," joked Andrew. He picked up the ball and started dribbling it, making his way to the basket. "So, how are things going with the Serena situation?"
Having adequately distracted Darien, Drew set up the shot and scored. Darien scowled and grabbed the ball from him. "That was dirty, man." He bounced the ball off Drew's head, caught it and threw it into the basket.
"Nothin' but net," he whooped.
Andrew rubbed his head painfully and smacked Darien in the shoulder.
"So?"
"So?" Darien mimicked. He sighed and watched Andrew sink another basket. "She's gone. What else is there to say?"
"I don't know. Are you going to do anything about it?" Andrew blocked Darien's attempt at the basket.
"What else can I do? She shut me out before she left; I doubt she's going to let me back in after all this time." He took a shot and it went in. "Finally."
"Why are you giving up so easily? I thought I knew you better than that, man."
Darien shrugged and reached for his towel on the bench. The two sat down for a break and splashed water on themselves. "I don't know, how many times do I set myself up for more disappointment, Drew? Tell me something, man. What did she use to talk to you about?"
Andrew took a swig of his water before answering. "Um...she talked about her childhood and all..."
"What about her childhood?" Darien persisted.
"You know I can't tell you that, Darien. All I can say is that she's had a seriously raw deal and it's made her grow up faster than other kids her age. I also know what caused her to run away from you..."
"Tell me!"
"No."
"Then why did you bring it up, you bastard?" Darien punched Andrew in the shoulder.
"I just wanted you to know that she has a valid reason for leaving. If you could just remember..."
Darien raked his hand through his hair in agitation. "Remember _what_? Tell me!"
"I can't! You have to remember for yourself. Your apology would be worthless to Serena if I told you what to be sorry for. Just think back to when all this hostility from Serena started," Andrew hinted. 'Please God, let him remember.'
Darien wracked his brain, trying to recall everything he said and did that could have set her off but came up with nothing. He shook his head wordlessly and cradled his head in his hands. "Dammit!" he swore.
Andrew groaned and rolled his eyes ruefully. 'Those damn Tylenol pills were stronger than I thought.' He patted Darien awkwardly on the back. "Don't worry about it so much man; I'm sure you'll remember soon."
Darien glared at his friend through his fingers. "Are you through patronizing me? I told you I can't remember so just lay off, okay? Besides, why couldn't she just tell me what I did wrong instead of just leaving without saying anything?"
Andrew said nothing, preferring to keep his peace on the subject. 'These two just have to work it out for themselves. I'm tired of being in the middle.' He sighed. "C'mon Darien, let's finish the game."
**Toronto**
Serena woke up that morning with a radiant smile upon her face, despite the indigestion she had been feeling for the past two days. She showered and changed quickly before she went to the kitchen to have breakfast with her aunt. Celeste looked up from the omelet she was making for Serena and noticed the smile upon her face. "Good morning, dear. What's the smile all about?"
Serena kissed her on the cheek and rubbed her tummy. "It's only three more weeks before the baby arrives. I can't wait." Serena sat down at the table and waited for her aunt to join her.
"When are you going on maternity leave?" Celeste placed the finished omelet in front of Serena, who dug in ravenously. She chewed her food dutifully before answering.
"Next week."
"Shouldn't you be taking it easy? You _are_ going to have a baby in three weeks," Celeste pointed out.
"My doctor said it was okay to work just as long as I take it easy. I know a girl who worked until the day she gave birth." Serena finished her eggs in record time and stood up. "Well, I'm off. I start work in about an hour."
"Do you want me to drive you? I have the day off," Celeste offered. Serena smiled and nodded happily. "Let's go then."
They got in the car and were soon speeding off toward the highway. They settled in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio, when all of a sudden, Serena doubled over in pain. Celeste immediately put her hand on Serena's stomach and started to change lanes, trying to pull over to the shoulder.
"What's wrong Serena?"
"I...I think I'm going into labour," she gasped. Celeste managed to stop the car on the side and looked at her watch. The next contraction came just minutes later.
"Serena! We have to call an ambulance! You're going to have the baby soon!" Searching her purse for her cell phone, Celeste dialed 911 and told them their situation and their approximate location on the highway. Then, she made Serena lie down in the backseat and ran around to the other side, narrowly missing the speeding cars.
Serena screamed in pain as she fought her way through another contraction. "Oh my God!"
Celeste held her hand and checked to see how much Serena was dilated. "Serena! You're dilated ten centimeters! Didn't you feel the contractions before this morning?" she screeched.
"No! I thought it was indigestion! I've been feeling this for the past two days!" Serena felt another contraction and bared down. "Oh God, I have to push! I have to push!"
"Then do it!"
"AUGGHH! I HATE YOU DARIEN SHIELDS!" she screamed as she pushed. The pain was unbearable and Serena thought she was going to pass out from the pain. "I can't do this anymore, Aunt Celeste. It hurts too much!" she wept.
"You can do this, Sere. You don't have a choice in the matter. Push!" Celeste ordered. In the distance, they could hear the wail of sirens approaching. "They're coming, Sere. Hang on."
Serena screamed in pain. "I can't...I can't wait for them. Get this kid out of meeee!" she wailed. She gave another push and felt her muscles being stretched and her insides on fire. Suddenly, a baby's cry could be heard above the street noise. "Is she okay? Is she okay?" she asked anxiously.
Celeste beamed through her tears. "She's beautiful Sere. She's so beautiful."
The ambulance crew arrived and took over from there. They cleaned mother and child up and strapped both of them to a stretcher. As Serena was being lifted into the ambulance, she could see that traffic had come to a virtual standstill in order for passing motorists to observe the drama unfolding. Celeste scrambled into the ambulance after her and sat down beside Serena.
"What are you going to name her, honey?"
Serena fingered her daughter's curly black hair and kissed her face gently. "Isabella. Isabella Mathis," she replied weakly. "Isn't she the most beautiful little girl, Aunty?"
Celeste nodded her head and kissed Serena on the forehead. "She takes after her mother." They smiled when Isabella yawned, her closed eyes scrunching up and her heart-shaped lips stretched widely. "Yep, she takes after her mother alright."
"Hey!"
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Phew! That's 45 pages of pure agony! My frigging fingers are going to fall off so please R&R! BIG thank you to Aria for straightening out my pregnancy misconceptions and for not killing when I bugged her ass too much ; )
