This chapter is dedicated to Mel on her birthday. It's now Monday, July 1, 2002 (Happy Canada, folks!) and I hope that I get this done in time for her birthday, which is on Friday. *Crosses fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes and heart* I'm now going to rely on my super powers to get this puppy done and out on AI and/or ff.net so I get all of you off my back....lol. Lucky for you I like strangers on my back....purrrrrr.... Hehehe...I just noticed that in previous chapters, I referred to the woman Darien almost slept with in chapter 5 as Trista, then in chapter 12, she miraculously changes her name to Setsuna. My bad...I'll change it back on AI cuz it's easy to edit but ff.netters will just have to live with it because it's too much of a hassle to remove the chapter, fix it, then reload it before the site goes down again.
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Wounded Souls
Chapter twelve-Into the Lion's Den
By: ~crystal~rose~{@
July 1, 2002
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**October-6 months later**
Darien burst through the doors of the library where his mother and father were waiting for his arrival. He was tired and sweaty when he had received the summons from his mother at the stable where he had been cloistered all day, working with the horses.
"You wanted to see me, mom?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow. Walter wrinkled his nose and hid behind the book he was reading.
"Phew, boy! You stink to the high heavens! Gracious my boy, do me a favour and don't sit down. You'll really do a number on the sofa." Ever since Bjorn had deemed him well enough not to rely on help from a physical therapist four months ago, Walter had been more vocal about his opinions, if that was possible. He rose from his seat with a newspaper in his hand and walked over to Darien, who was standing by the door and well aware of his smelly state. "Here boy, stand on this," he said, spreading the newspaper on the floor beneath Darien's feet. "Don't want to soil the carpet, you know."
Darien scowled but obediently stepped on the newspaper. "What is it you wanted, mom?"
Candace looked up from the papers spread out on the desk and smiled at her dirt and sweat-streaked son. He looked just like the mischievous little boy who would run away from her whenever he was due for a spanking. "Well, as you know, I've been organizing a seminar on the importance of women in the medical field for college students..."
"Go on," Darien prompted, somehow not liking the tone of his mother's voice.
Candace smiled beguilingly at him, furthering his suspicions. "Well, I was thinking of inviting Amy along as a guest speaker," she replied, avoiding his eyes.
"So?"
"Well...I was thinking that maybe, since it is Saturday, that you'd go to her office and ask her for me." Candace braced herself for the impending outburst she was sure to come. She wasn't disappointed.
"WHAT? Why can't you do it?" he exclaimed, a hint of a whine in his voice.
"I'm expecting a very important phone call from one of the prospective speakers sometime today. Please Darien, do this for me," she pleaded, batting her eyelashes and clasping her hands. She knew it was a dirty trick, pulling the puppy face on her own son, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Darien folded his arms across his chest and shook his head firmly. Candace sighed. "Well ok, son, if that's how you feel. I'll just leave my post here at the phone and hope that Dr. Johnson doesn't call while I'm out. I'd hate to think that young women fresh out of college would ignore going into medicine just because she wasn't there to inspire them, but I understand if you're busy. You can go play with your little horses now, Darien. Your sense of duty towards those horses is admirable, why, you'd even forsake your duty to your own mother for them." Candace stood up and began gathering her papers together, preparing for a sweeping exit.
Darien squirmed on his newspaper, feeling guilty for saying no to his mother. Sure, he knew that this was just a ploy to make him do her bidding but it was very effective. "That's okay, mother. Just give me a half hour to shower and I'll be on my way," he said in a defeated voice. Darien turned and walked out of the library, missing his mother's triumphant smile.
"You know, Candy, there's no one else better than you at laying down guilt trips," Walter commented, picking up the newspaper Darien had left behind with his thumb and forefinger gingerly and tossed them into the garbage can.
"I've had years of practice, honey," she replied loftily.
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An hour later, Darien was strolling along the halls of Cedars-Sinai hospital, in the direction of Dr. Amy Harris' office. The woman at the information desk told him that Dr. Harris was making rounds at the moment and that he should just go wait in her office if he wanted. 'If I wanted to,' he sniffed as he opened the door that led to Amy's office. "I hope the door isn't locked," Darien said as he turned the knob. The door opened easily and Darien entered the office quietly.
He sat down in one of the chairs in front of Amy's desk. 'Her office sure is clean,' he thought absently, looking around at the butter yellow walls and light blue carpet. There were framed pictures of artwork from local artists on the walls and a leather couch behind him. The room was tastefully decorated and Darien could see that it suited Amy perfectly.
'I don't want to be here,' he thought, slouching in his chair. He looked impatiently at his watch and saw that he had only been waiting for less than five minutes. 'I don't want to be around anything that reminds me of Serena.'
In the past seven months since the incident with Trista, Darien had shunned any woman that showed any remote interest in him. He had come to the conclusion that women were shortening his lifespan. He felt terrible for calling Serena's name out while he was with Trista and he had tried to apologize repeatedly for it. He called her house and sent her flowers and small gifts, all of which were refused and sent back unopened. Finally, after two weeks of apologizing, he decided that enough was enough. If Trista wanted nothing to do with him, he sure as hell wanted nothing to do with her. Darien couldn't even fathom why he was there at her house that night, except that he was lonely and needed to feel wanted. He knew it was a poor excuse, but that was the truth. Trista just happened to be the unfortunate woman who caught Darien at a vulnerable moment. He didn't like what he did to her, but he wouldn't apologize for it his entire life.
Darien looked at his watch again. 'It's been twenty minutes already. I've had enough. I'll just leave her a note to call my mother back at the house and leave,' he thought. Darien stood up and leaned over Amy's desk, searching for a piece of paper and a pen. He was careful not to disturb any files that Amy had left spread out on her desk. Finally, he spotted a pen hidden underneath a file folder and, after rummaging around some more, found a blank piece of paper on the far side of the desk. As he leaned farther out over the desk, his left arm knocked over a framed photo onto the floor.
The frame fell face down on the floor with a slight thump but was otherwise undamaged. Darien let out the breath he was holding and bent down to pick it up. He turned the frame over in his hands and gasped at the image that stared back at him.
It was Serena.
She was smiling as she clutched her stomach.
Her very pregnant stomach.
Darien's hands shook as he turned the frame over and opened the back to take the photo out. He recognized Serena's familiar handwriting immediately.
"'March 12th, 2003,'" he read. "'Dear Amy, only one more month until I become a mommy and I can't wait! I still don't know what to name her. I've narrowed it down to Lily Elizabeth Mathis and Isabella Mathis. I don't know which name to pick. Anyway, I just wanted to send you this picture so that you can see that we're very much ok. Love always, Serena.' She was pregnant?" Darien asked himself. Doing some quick calculations, he learned that Serena was pregnant before she left LA. With shaking hands, he replaced the picture back in its frame and placed it back on the desk where it had been originally resting. He turned and left the office without bothering to write the note after all.
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Darien sat sullenly at the dinner table later that evening, picking at his food. When he came back from his unfulfilled errand, he escaped to the privacy of his room, but not before having been interrogated by his mother as to the outcome of his trip. He replied that Amy wasn't at her office and that he didn't feel the need to waste his entire afternoon waiting for her when she could easily call her the next day. He stomped up the stairs before his mother could reprimand him for his rudeness.
Now that he was there at the table, he was hardly any better than he was when he came back home. Candace and Walter looked at each other warily, silently debating whether or not they should talk to their temperamental son. In the end, Candace decided to ask what was bothering Darien.
"Nothing," he replied, pushing his peas across his plate. Candace sighed. It was like raising a teenager all over again.
"What is it, son? You haven't been alright since you came back from Amy's office. Did something happen?" she questioned.
"I said nothing happened, so just butt out, okay? Geez, I'm not a little kid anymore," Darien exclaimed, throwing down his napkin on the table. Walter frowned and took a sip of water before answering him.
"You will not talk to your mother in that tone of voice young man. You may be an adult now, but as long as you're living under my house and as long as we're alive, you will treat us with respect. Is that understood." His last sentence was more of a command than a question, and Darien was wise enough to recognize it. He grudgingly nodded his head. "Good. Now why don't you answer your mother."
"Serena had a baby." He said this so low that his parents asked him to repeat it. When he did, he was greeted with stunned silence. Finally, Candace was able to get her senses together and looked at her son questioningly.
"How do you know? When? Who's the father?" she asked, not stopping for a breath between questions.
"I found a picture of her while she was eight months pregnant. She gave birth last April," he replied sullenly. Walter did the same calculations his son did a few hours earlier and it finally dawned on him why Serena was acting the way she was.
'So that was why she was in such a hurry to leave,' he thought. "You have to go to Toronto and bring her and the baby back here."
Darien snapped his head up and looked at his father disbelievingly. "Why should I do that? This is her problem, not mine." Candace just sat there, watching her son and husband contemplatively.
Walter threw his napkin down on the table in disgust. "I always knew you were a womanizer, Darien, but I didn't know you were also a deadbeat father. I had hoped that when you impregnated a woman with my grandchild, you would be responsible enough to take care of it. Obviously, I was wrong. I've never been more disappointed in you, son."
Darien's eyes got round as he went over everything that his father had said. "Whoa, whoa! You lost me at deadbeat father. What the hell are you talking about?" he cried.
It was Walter's turn to be surprised. "You mean, you don't remember?"
"Remember what?" Why was everyone asking him that these days?
Walter cursed inwardly as he realized that he had just revealed the big secret Serena wanted him to keep. But in light of current revelations, he felt that his actions were justified. "She told me before she left that the two of you slept together the night before Amy's wedding. Now, if my calculations are correct, that child she had could very well be yours."
Darien stopped breathing and he felt all the blood drain from his body. "What?" he asked weakly. "Did you just say that Serena and I slept together? She told you? She was the one?" Darien's mind whirled with the information presented to him. He vaguely remembered taking a blonde woman upstairs in his arms that night but that was the extent of his memories. What he did remember was the sex. That was the best sexual experience he'd ever had-not because of the act itself, but because of the incredible feeling of intimacy and security he felt with the woman in his bed-ever since he lost his virginity to his 18 year-old girlfriend when he was just 16. They broke up two months later.
Walter nodded. "Go to Toronto and find out if this child is yours or not. If my suspicions are correct, Serena left LA because she knew she was carrying your child."
"Why didn't she tell me? What did she say to you?" Darien was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his father knew more about his sex life than he did.
"She told me that you were drunk and that she was lonely when you happened upon each other. I saw you carrying her upstairs with my own two eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out what you had in mind," Walter replied.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hurt and betrayal laced Darien's words as he looked at his father.
Walter sighed. "What would you have said when I told you that I saw you and Serena that night? You'd say that I was meddling in your business again and that I should just butt out. Serena asked me to keep quiet about that night because she felt humiliated."
"Humiliated? Why?"
"How would you feel if the person you slept with forgot who you were the next day?" Walter countered. Darien understood. It was basically what he did to Trista, only he forgot her during the act, not after. He rose from his seat without another word and strode decidedly to the phone resting on the buffet cabinet behind them.
"Hello, Jerry? How soon can you come up with a flight plan to Toronto?" Darien paused, listening to the man on the other end. "Three hours? Good. Thanks a lot." Without another word, Darien turned and left the room to pack.
After he was gone, Walter turned to his wife, who had not said a word throughout their entire exchange. "Candy?" he asked. Candace turned to him, eyes blazing.
"How could you keep this from me? From Darien?" she asked. Walter winced at the betrayed look on her face.
"I didn't know she was pregnant when she left. She had asked me to keep the fact that she and Darien slept together a secret because she supposedly seduced him while he was under the influence. Serena was humiliated and she begged me not to tell Darien, to let him remember on his own, if he ever did," he explained.
"I bet she _did_ seduce him. I shouldn't have let her into our home," fumed Candace. Walter could see that Serena was going to have major problems if she ever came back.
"Now, now, dear. We don't know the full story so maybe we should reserve our judgment of her behaviour until she gets here," Walter said, trying to soothe his irate wife by massaging her shoulders. She shrugged his hands off and stood up.
"This isn't over, Walter. I can't believe you kept something of this magnitude from me, not to mention your own son." Candace left the room without looking back.
Alone at the table, Walter looked at the empty spaces left by his wife and son and sighed. 'I hope you bring her back, son. I want to see my grandchild.'
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Darien rang the doorbell of a small bungalow in a quiet neighbourhood in suburban Toronto. It was two o'clock in the afternoon, Toronto time, and he had arrived at about five in the morning. After taking a few hours' nap in a hotel room that he had booked from the plane, he woke up and made his way to Serena's house. He stood outside for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to walk up the steps, ring the doorbell and face his future, whatever that may be.
After ringing the bell about ten times with no answer or even a hint of inhabitants within the house, Darien began to feel that maybe she wasn't home or that he had gotten the wrong house. Just as he was about to step into his rented black sedan, he thought he heard a voice coming from the back yard. Curiosity getting the better of him, he closed the car door and walked to the gate leading to the back of the house. There he saw the woman who had been haunting his dreams for more than a year since her abrupt departure. Her back facing him, Darien could see that she was speaking softly and looking at the trees, whose leaves had changed from green to beautiful shades of yellow, red and orange.
Suddenly, she turned so that Darien could see her profile but she still hadn't taken notice of his presence. In her arms was a chubby baby, bundled up in a colourful dress and white tights to protect her from the brisk autumn afternoon. On her head was a bonnet with ear covers, effectively keeping the chilly wind from her ears and head.
"See honey? Aren't the leaves pretty?" Darien heard Serena ask the baby in her arms. The little angel clapped her hands in glee and giggled, instantly warming his heart. She reached her little arms towards the heavens, straining to catch a falling leaf. She scrunched up her face in disappointment when the leaf fell to the ground.
"Here, baby," Serena said, catching a red leaf for her daughter, "take this." Serena kissed her tenderly on the cheek as she twirled the leaf by the stem. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the baby's hat from her head. If Darien had any doubts as to the paternity of the child Serena was holding, they were erased when his eyes took notice of her black hair, falling in ringlets around her ears. Serena bent down to pick up the hat and on her way up, saw him standing at the gate, watching them.
They stared at each other for a minute before the baby's gurgle broke the silence. Serena blinked and clutched her tighter to her chest. From where he stood, Darien could tell she was fighting back tears. "Darien," she said, her voice shaky and full of an emotion that he just couldn't identify. "Come inside; I've been wondering when you would figure it out."
Darien said nothing as he followed her into the house and closed the sliding glass door silently behind him. He watched Serena walk to a desk by the window, open a drawer and rummage around, seemingly in search for something. At last, she found the papers she was looking for. Wordlessly, she handed him what appeared to be court documents and watched as he read it.
"What the hell is this?" he demanded. Serena shushed him, telling him not to use such language in front of her daughter.
"They're dissolution of parental rights documents. I assume you're here because you think that I would want to sue you for child support now that you know you have a daughter. I've had these drawn up a week after she was born with just this day in mind," she said calmly, as if reciting a grocery list to him.
Darien looked her angrily in the eye and tore up the papers, much to her surprise. "I'm not signing this. I can't believe you kept this from me, Serena. She's my daughter too, and I don't even know her name."
"Isabella," she replied softly.
"I want you and Isabella to come back to LA with me, at least until your maternity leave is over. We can figure something out then," Darien stated. When Serena shook her head firmly, he continued. "If you don't, I'm going to sue you for full custody and you'll never see her again."
Serena's legs shook as she held Isabella tighter to her chest. The baby seemed to pick up on her mother's distress because she immediately began to cry. "It's okay, honey. Mommy's fine," she cooed. Eventually, Isabella's wails turned into soft sobs before she fell asleep altogether. While she rocked her child to sleep, she was thankful that Darien had at least kept quiet, letting her think things through. She saw that she had no choice. If she refused to accompany him back to California, he would sue her, hiring all the legal powerhouses the Shields money could buy while she would get the best lawyer her meager savings and her inheritance could afford. "Alright Darien, I'll go with you. But I'm not leaving until I say goodbye to my family and friends first." The look on her face and the tone of her voice told Darien that this was one area she was not going to back down from.
He looked at his watch impatiently. He had wanted to get back by nightfall in LA but this latest development would set him back to the next day. "Okay, we'll wait. I've got the jet anyway so we can leave whenever we want tomorrow."
Serena nodded tensely. "Would you like to hold her while I make a few phone calls?" she asked in a business-like tone. Darien's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. Carefully, Serena transferred the sleeping baby to his open arms, which stiffened as soon she was laying on them. "Relax Darien, she won't break. Besides, I'll be right here, watching you." She said the last two words sound almost like a threat.
Serena dialed a number on the phone and sat down. After a few rings, she heard a familiar voice answer. "Sam Mathis, sports."
"Hey Sammy, it's me." Serena could just imagine what he's going to say when he gets to the house later that evening.
"Hey Sere, what's up?"
"Could you come by when you're off work? It's important," she said.
"Sure, what's this about?"
"Umm, just come by the house and I'll explain everything."
"Are you sure you're fine, sis?" Serena could hear the concern in his voice. Ever since he received an urgent phone call at work from his aunt, telling him to come to the hospital because his sister had given birth in the car on the highway, Sammy had been even more protective of her. He was a doting uncle who came by every Saturday afternoon with a new toy for his niece. Serena once complained that there were more toys in her house than at Toys R Us.
"I'm sure, Sammy. See you later." She hung up the phone and dialed her aunt's work number. While the phone was ringing, she watched Darien cradling his daughter in his arms. The expression on his face was one of pure fascination and adoration. Had the situation not been so serious, she would have chuckled and teased him about it. When she got Celeste's voice mail, she left a quick message and hung up the phone. She made a similar phone call to Raye's house and left almost the exact same message on her machine.
When she got off the phone, she went back to the couch where Darien was sitting, admiring his new daughter. "She's beautiful," he whispered, more to himself than to her. Serena almost hated to break the father-daughter bonding but she eased Isabella out of his arms and into hers.
"I'm just going to put her in her crib. Do you want to come?" she asked. When he nodded his head eagerly, she turned and started walking down the hall where the nursery was located right beside her room. Darien walked into the pink room decorated with white bunnies and smiled softly. He could tell that Serena had a hand in decorating the nursery. Serena gently lay Isabella down in her white crib and wound up a little toy that played 'Rock a bye, baby' softly.
Darien watched as Serena opened the closet and took out a small suitcase. "I'm going to pack a few of her clothes now so that I don't have to worry about it later," she explained, avoiding his eyes.
"Do you need my help?" he asked.
"No, that's okay. Maybe you could help me later with the crib and stuff like that," she said, placing a few outfits in the bag.
"That's not necessary. I called my mother from the jet and told her to prepare a nursery for when we arrive." Serena gritted her teeth but said nothing. "What?"
"You were so sure that I would just come running when you told me to, huh?" she bit out, managing to just barely control the volume of her voice. "You were so sure that your little threat would work, weren't you?"
"You're coming with me, aren't you?" he retorted. Serena refused to dignify that with a response so she kept packing. Darien looked at the white bureau on the other side of the room and looked at the pictures resting on top of it. He was surprised to find a picture of himself right beside her own.
"You have a picture of me?" he asked.
"I wanted Isabella to know what her father looked like so I put up your picture. This is the second one actually; Sammy threw the first one out the window." What she didn't tell him was that Sammy had thrown it out his car window and ran over it a few times on the driveway, crushing the frame and tearing the picture into shreds.
"If you had told me in the first place, there wouldn't be need for a picture." He grew frustrated when Serena didn't say anything. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Serena finally looked up from her packing and sighed. "How much do you remember about that night, Darien?" she asked.
"To be honest with you, not a lot. I just remember a blonde and carrying her up the stairs. I don't remember anything else," he admitted.
"So how did you find out?" Darien told her the previous day's events and by the time he was finished, Serena was cursing herself for sending that photo to Amy. At least he couldn't remember her saying that she loved him, or him telling her that he loved her. There was still that much left. So she decided to let him continue thinking that she had indeed seduced him because in her mind, that was a lesser humiliation than being duped into going to bed with the first man who's ever said 'I love you' to her in her entire life, and finding that it was false the next day. She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for what she had to say to keep her story up. "Look Darien, I'm really sorry about not telling you about Isabella. I was scared when I found out that I was pregnant and then my mother died a week later. It was just too much for me so I decided to take off."
Darien looked at her sternly and Serena was suddenly feeling like a teacher was reprimanding her for her bad behaviour. "That's no excuse and you know it. Were you ever going to tell me that I had a daughter?"
On the outside, Serena looked repentant, but on the inside, her pride was smarting from his rebuke. 'This never would've happened if I had just stuck to my guns that night and never gone to bed with him,' she thought rebelliously. 'He has no right to judge me for my actions because his are just as bad as mine.' She showed no reaction to his words, further frustrating Darien. "Do you want to look at some photo albums?" she asked as a way of getting him to stop looking at her with so much blame and anger. Darien nodded after a few seconds of thought and waited for her to come back into the nursery with an armful of albums in her hand.
"I've been photographing her practically everyday," she explained, opening up an album for him to see. There were black and white photos of Isabella at various stages of her development. Darien was amazed at the professional quality of the photos and its artistic nature.
"These are great. I can't believe you took these."
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Darien," she replied cryptically but Darien was too engrossed in looking at the pictures to hear her.
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It was almost six o'clock and they both knew everyone would be arriving shortly. Serena and Darien had spent the past few hours poring over the photo albums and watching home movies of their daughter. When Isabella woke up, Darien played with her, almost hesitantly at first, then with an enthusiasm rivaling that of a four year old as the time wore on. Serena had shown him newspaper clippings reporting Isabella's birth on the highway and had played the tapes of every news broadcast of the event that she had. There was even a whole page dedicated to her, Isabella and Celeste in the hospital newsletter.
The doorbell rang just a few minutes after they cleaned Isabella up from her meal and Serena rushed to answer the door. She found Sammy and Celeste standing at the top of the stairs with Justin's car just pulling into the driveway. When everyone had entered the house, she settled them down in the living room and started wringing her hands in worry. She told Darien to wait in the nursery until she called him before he made his appearance.
"What is this about, Serena?" Raye asked, getting to the point. "You left a message at my house saying that you needed to tell us something important and to come over here when Justin got back from work. So here we are; what's up?"
Serena smiled wryly and took a calming breath. "You don't beat around the bush, do you, Raye?" she asked. Seeing that Raye was beginning to fume, she continued hastily. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I left for LA."
"WHAT?!" all four of them exploded at once, scaring Kayla half to death. Raye began to comfort her when she could hear whimpers coming from her child.
"It's that Darien bastard, isn't it?" Sammy said venomously.
Serena nodded her head and began to explain his sudden appearance that afternoon at their house and his request that she come back with him. Serena had deliberately left out the part where he threatened to push for full custody in order to keep the peace, but she could see by the dark looks on Sammy and Justin's faces that it was not meant to be. "Where is he?" Justin asked, a frown marring his usually easy-going face. Raye held his arm back, as if she was afraid that he was going on a murderous rampage at any second.
At that moment, Darien stepped out from the hallway, carrying Isabella in his arms. Serena could almost swear that Sammy's pupils turned red at the sight. "Let go of my niece!" he demanded, pushing past Serena and jabbing a finger in Darien's chest. Darien, in turn, held Isabella even tighter in his grip and turned his body to shield her from the confrontation he had been preparing himself for the moment he stepped through the door that afternoon.
"In case you've conveniently inherited your sister's sudden case of amnesia, let me remind you that I am her father. Therefore, as her parent, I am more entitled to be in her life than you, so back off," he sneered. Sammy's face turned red with anger and his hands clenched into fists.
Serena stepped in between them and took her child from Darien, hoping to ease the tension building up between the two men. She urged her brother to sit down beside Celeste, who sat in shocked silence. Finally, she spoke.
"What made you decide to move back there, Serena?"
"Um, well...I've realized that it was..." here she had a hard time forming the words that she had to say, "wrong of me to keep Isabella from her father and his family. I've already agreed to live out the rest of my maternity leave there in his home."
"But what about after?" Celeste asked. Serena turned to Darien, asking him the same question with her eyes.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," he answered. Sammy and Justin exchanged angry looks with each other and glared at him.
"So what happens if Sere wants to come back here after six months?" Justin asked angrily. "You'll dump her on the next available flight and keep Isabella there, is that it? I don't think so, Shields. If Sere comes back without that baby, you can be sure I'll be there within the next few hours to get her back with a baseball bat in my hand."
"Don't forget me," Sammy added. Serena groaned inwardly at this display of male chauvinism.
"I want in on this deal too." Raye stood up from her seat and strode over to Darien, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. "You hurt my best friend, you lying piece of trash. You told her you lo-OW!" Serena pinched Raye's back to keep her from finishing her sentence. "What did you do that for?" she demanded, rubbing at the spot that was in pain. Serena shrugged weakly and smiled.
"I just didn't want you to say something you'll regret," she said. 'I don't want you to say something _I'll_ regret,' she added silently.
Raye scowled. "Believe me, I won't regret anything I have to say to this guy. I think he's an asshole for doing what he did. What gives him the right to just stand there and judge you like that? Just because he's a Shields, doesn't mean he can come in here and take what's not his."
"Not mine? I do believe that this is _my_ daughter, Raye, and she's been kept from me for far too long. This has nothing to do with my name or how much money I have. Serena's irresponsible actions speak for themselves, so I don't need to stand here in judgment of them or her. I came here to see my daughter and to try to work out a deal with her mother. That is all." Darien's patience had worn thin with their accusations.
Serena stood in the midst of the hostility, her heart breaking. When she heard him speak about her as if she were a criminal about to be convicted of a crime, she knew that there was nothing between them anymore. To hear him refer to her as nothing more than his daughter's mother just shattered any hopes she had of getting back her former friendship with him. Forcing back the tears, she faced the warring groups of people with a shaky smile. "We're going to be leaving in the morning so why don't you guys just go home and cool off? Aunt Celeste, will you be alright here by yourself without me?" she asked.
Celeste bit her lip, considering her words carefully. "Although I hate this man for what he did to my niece, I'm afraid that he's right. He does have a right to see his daughter, but from what I've been hearing of him and from what I've seen today, I'm not impressed with him. Frankly Serena, you could have done much better. This man has hurt and humiliated you in front of your family and friends. It's obvious that you're not willing to go along with him but he's got something over you. If it's the custody issue you're worried about, let me assure you that I would work till my dying day to make sure that it never happens. Don't let him force you into doing something you don't want to do."
Serena felt tears prick her eyes and she thanked God that the living room was dark so the rest of them couldn't see. "No...it's not that, Aunt Celeste. I promise you." Serena felt the mountain of lies she'd been telling ever since she slept with Darien grow ever larger, so that she was having a hard time remembering what had started it all in the first place. "Please you guys, I need your support in this."
Raye hugged Serena and kissed Isabella on the cheek. "If you're sure..." Serena nodded firmly, not trusting herself to speak. "Ok then. Call me once you're settled," she added, pulling Justin away from Darien. Justin kissed Serena on the cheek and Isabella on the forehead.
"If he does _anything_ to you, just give me a call and I'll be over here just as soon as I can," he whispered in her ear. Serena smiled and hugged him fiercely.
Sammy glowered at Darien one last time before turning to Serena. "Call me if you need anything or you just need to talk. Don't let this creep get you down, sis. I swear I'll bust his ass if he harms one hair on your head or on Isabella's," he said loudly for Darien's benefit. Darien rolled his eyes before narrowing them.
"I would never hurt my daughter." Serena couldn't help but notice that he didn't say the same for her. Giving her a big hug and Isabella a kiss on the cheek, Sammy turned to the door where Raye, Justin and Kayla were waiting for him. Celeste walked them out the door to give Serena and Darien a little privacy.
"What time are you going to pick us up, Darien?" she asked. Darien raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.
"What makes you think I'm leaving this house? There's no way I'm leaving you here alone with Isabella, not by a long shot. Who knows how far away you'd be by the time morning rolls around?" he asked.
Although she knew she deserved that, Serena couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It was one thing to keep Isabella away from him when Darien didn't even know she existed, but it was another thing to sneak away with her in the dead of night like some common criminal with her loot. "I gave you my word that I would go back with you, what more do you want?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, we all know how good your word is," Darien scoffed. "You want to know what I want? I want those six months back. I want to be present for her birth, to see her as she grew up. You took that away from me Serena and I don't think I can forgive you for that."
Serena handed Isabella over to Darien and disappeared down the hallway. He heard her opening a door and rummaging through a closet. Soon she returned armed with a sheet, blanket and a pillow. "You can sleep on the couch." She took Isabella and handed him the items. "When my aunt comes back, tell her we're in my room packing." She walked down the hallway and disappeared into her room without looking back.
Darien sighed as he made up the couch. He was about to tell Celeste where Serena had gone but she walked by him without a word and slammed the door to her room. This was not how he wanted to reunite with Serena and meet his daughter. He wanted to ask Serena to marry him so that they could become the family he always wanted, but after seeing the documents she wanted him to sign, his plans went right out the window. He couldn't believe that Serena had actually believed that he would sign papers to dissolve his parental rights and he couldn't believe that she had kept something this big from him all this time.
"I'm sorry, Sere. I love you but I can't forgive you. Not for this," he said, before succumbing to his sleep.
*************************
Serena sat as far away from Darien as she could, which wasn't far considering they were on his private jet flying 30,000 feet from the ground. If she could have her way, she would be sitting on the wing of the plane, far away from Darien's withering gaze. Instead, she sat there on one of the leather couches in the beautifully crafted jet, with Isabella on her lap, pretending to ignore the hole that Darien was burning in her forehead. She wanted to tell Darien to stop staring at her, but that would only fuel the hostility he felt towards her. If she was to survive in his house for the next six months, it was important for her not to burn any more bridges with the Shields family.
Serena sighed dejectedly as she watched her daughter sleeping in her arms. She envied the innocence and peace evident on her child's face. Serena prayed that her daughter would always have those qualities about her. Still feeling Darien's eyes on her, Serena leaned back on the couch, putting her legs up and shifting Isabella carefully in her right arm. She propped her left arm on the back of the sofa and looked out the window.
"You know, I rode a plane for the first time when I was six years old," she told the sleeping Isabella softly. "We were going to visit my grandparents in British Columbia. That's on the other side of Canada, so it's very far away from where we lived. I told your Uncle Sammy that when we're high up in the air, I would open up the window and catch a cloud for him." She chuckled, remembering how wide her brother's eyes got when she made her innocent promise to him.
"I was so disappointed when we were seated in the plane and the window wouldn't open, that I started to cry. My mommy and daddy couldn't figure out why I was crying but your Uncle Sammy did. He didn't get mad at me for not being able to keep my promise. He drew me a picture of a cloud and gave it to me. He told me that he didn't need me to catch a cloud for him to know that I could do anything because I was his big sister. You know what?" she whispered secretively in Isabella's ear. "I still have that picture. It's in my scrapbook and I have it with me wherever I go. When you get older, I'll start a scrapbook for your artwork."
Darien listened to her story from the couch on across from her. It made him smile to think of Serena at six years old, promising to catch a cloud for her brother. Without thinking, he opened his mouth and asked, "Was that true?" He wanted to smack himself on the forehead the instant those words left his mouth.
Serena looked at him with a frown. "Of course it is," she snapped, "I would never lie to my child."
"Just her father, right?"
"I did what I thought was best at the time. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena turned away from him then, ending further conversation. They remained in their respective corners until the pilot announced that they would be touching down in fifteen minutes. Isabella woke up at the sudden noise and started crying, pawing at her left ear.
"What's wrong?" asked Darien, sitting down beside Serena and stroking the baby's back comfortingly.
"I think her ears are popping," explained Serena.
"What should we do?" Darien's heart went out to her, with her blue eyes welling up with tears. Isabella sobbed pitifully on her mother's shoulder, her chest heaving as she took big, gulping breaths.
Serena thought for a minute before producing a pacifier from her pocket. "It's the best we can do. If she were older, I would give her a piece of gum or tell her to swallow, but right now, she won't be able to understand that. Let's hope she starts sucking on this so the popping will be reduced." To her relief, the pacifier lived up to its name by not only calming Isabella down but also by relieving the discomfort.
The landing was smooth and perfect, nothing less than one would have expected from a pilot hired by Darien Shields. Unbuckling their seatbelts, Serena gathered Isabella's diaper bag and her purse while Darien carried his suitcase in one hand and Serena's duffel bag filled with some of her belongings over his shoulder. The rest of her baggage was stowed in the back of the plane, where the porters who had been waiting on the ground would find it easily. After thanking the pilots, Serena, Darien and Isabella walked down the stairway and onto the tarmac. A limousine was waiting a few feet from the plane, and Serena was happy to see Alan stepping out and opening the door for her.
"Welcome back, Serena. You didn't keep your promise to keep in touch," he teased lightly.
Serena smiled and kissed Isabella on the forehead. "I was busy," she replied. She was surprised to see a car seat already strapped in to the seats. "You thought of everything," she said to Darien.
"Somebody has to," he replied icily. Serena bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying just what was on her mind.
'What a pompous ass,' she thought bitterly, securing Isabella in her seat. 'He's going to hold this over me for the rest of my life, from the looks of it. You'd think he missed his chance to be father of the year or something. I wonder what I ever saw in him.' She sat down beside the window and looked out the window the entire ride to his house. Once again, she could feel him looking at her and she was getting sick of it.
"What?" she snapped. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
"Then why do you keep looking at me?" Darien smirked.
"Like I said, I was looking at nothing." Grasping the meaning of his words, Serena turned her head and continued to look out the window, her lip quivering.
'Don't let him see you cry.' That had become her new mantra over the past few months and she found that it actually worked to strengthen her resolve to be stronger. As the streets became more familiar, and the houses more majestic, Serena's stomach knotted more and more. 'What does Candace and Mr. Shields have in store for me?' she wondered silently, clasping her hands together to stop their shaking. Much too soon for her liking, Alan pulled the limo into the Shields driveway and stopped the car.
Darien got out first, helping Alan unload the luggage from the trunk. Serena took a deep breath, and then proceeded to carefully remove Isabella from her car seat. As she stepped out of the car, she felt Alan's presence close to her.
"Good luck," he whispered in her ear. Luckily, Darien hadn't noticed, as he was busy lugging the suitcases to the door. She gave him a quick smile and steeled herself for the long walk to the front door. Just as she reached the top step, the double doors were thrown open and Walter and Candace were standing in the doorway, wearing grim expressions on their faces.
Serena swallowed and licked her suddenly dry lips. Walter stepped forward and smiled encouragingly, making her feel more at ease. "Is this my granddaughter?" he asked softly, already running his fingers through her thick, black hair. She chose that moment to wake up, blinking her eyes sleepily at her grandfather. "She's beautiful, girlie. May I?"
Serena nodded and passed her on to Walter, who held her tenderly to his chest. He looked years younger, his wrinkles smoothing out and his posture straighter. "Come in, you two. Don't just stand there like common door-to-door salesmen." Walter led them into the house, with Candace bringing up the rear. Serena was nervously waiting for Candace to say something-anything-that would reassure her that there were no hard feelings between them, as Walter had done.
"So, what is my granddaughter's name, Serena?" Candace asked. By her icy tone, Serena felt her hopes dashed.
"Her name is Isabella Mathis, Mrs. Shields," she answered with a slight tilt in her chin that Candace didn't fail to notice. Walking over to Walter, she looked at the baby and stroked her cheek softly.
"She certainly is beautiful, I'll give you that. I just never imagined that I would be seeing my first grandchild six months after she was born." The tension in the air was almost palpable and Serena felt the walls closing in on her. If Darien didn't kill her first, she was certain his mother would gladly do the honours.
Thankfully, it was time for Serena to feed Isabella so she timidly asked where the nursery was. Candace told her that it was right across the hall from Darien's room, which would be adjoining hers. Molly led her to her new room, no longer the yellow room that she had stayed in a year ago, but a plain beige room with simple décor and lacking the luxury she had been used to. Not that she cared one way or another. She was just here for her baby and nothing else. Serena knew that Candace was just throwing her weight around, sending her a message that she didn't appreciate being left out of the loop.
"So how have you been, Molly?" Serena asked as she set her things down.
"I've been okay." Serena noticed that Molly avoided looking her in the eye. "I've got to go now," she said, beating a hasty retreat out the door.
Serena sighed mournfully. So that was how it was going to be from now on. She was going to be the outcast in this house, even among its staff. Although she hated to admit it, the thought of everyone in this massive house being against her, stung her. She noticed a door opposite her bed and opened it, revealing a beautiful nursery.
Serena gasped and entered the pink room decorated with stars and crescent moons. She sat down on the rocking chair and unbuttoned her blouse. As if knowing exactly what was about to happen, Isabella turned to her mother with her mouth already open. "Hungry little girl, aren't you?"
A few minutes later, she heard a soft knock on the door leading to the hallway. "Serena, can I come in?" Darien's disembodied voice asked.
"Just a sec," she called. She stood up, grabbed a soft, knitted blanket and threw it loosely over Isabella, hiding her exposed breast. She sat back down on the rocking chair and settled herself comfortably before saying that it was okay to come in. Darien opened the door and saw that the delay was due to Serena covering herself up.
"Why bother," he asked, gesturing to the blanket, "I've already seen it."
"It doesn't count if you don't remember," she snapped, glaring at him. "Look, if my entire stay is going to consist of you going all psycho-judgmental on me, you might as well call your lawyers, cuz I'm not going to stay here to become your human punching bag. I won't take it."
"_You're_ not going to take it? What about me? I had no choice _but_ to take what you did to me, so don't sit here whining about the lack of welcome you got from me and my mother. It's a miracle you managed to escape unscathed from dad, but then again, you two were always pretty chummy with each other," Darien bit out harshly. Isabella started crying from under the blanket, and although Serena was angry that Darien's loud voice made her cry, deep down, she was extremely thankful.
"Are you happy now, Darien? Please get out so that I can finish feeding my daughter." Darien's face tightened in anger and for a second, Serena was actually afraid of him.
"_Our_ daughter," he corrected, walking out the door and shutting it behind him forcefully. The walls shook and Isabella cried harder. Only when he was gone did Serena allow herself the luxury of shedding a few tears.
After calming herself down, she lifted the blanket from her shoulder and revealed Isabella's red face scrunched up angrily. She kissed away her tears and resumed feeding her. "It's okay," she sang to the tune of a familiar lullaby, "mommy's here. She won't let them hurt you. Drink your milk, dry your tears, I'll be here to chase away your fears. Close your eyes, and goodnight, da da da da, da da dum..." She carefully lay Isabella down in her crib and kissed her shut eyelids gently. Then she tiptoed out of the room and into her own.
When she compared the nursery to her now simple room, it was obvious that Candace had the power to do a quick renovation, it's just that she didn't deem her worthy enough to bother. She shrugged to herself, making a silent vow not to let Darien and his mother get to her. After all, they were justified in their anger towards her, to a certain extent. She admitted that maybe it was wrong not to tell Darien that he was a father, but as necessity dictated action, she felt justified in her own right to keep this secret from her millionaire father who probably had the power to evict Satan himself from hell if he wanted to.
She stayed in her room all afternoon, unpacking her things. She could hear Darien playing with Isabella, who had woken up after a few hours of blissful sleep, over the baby monitor. She had to grudgingly admit that Darien made a wonderful father, one who was willing to pull all the stops to make sure his child was happy. Serena just hoped that she would be able to survive the Shields mother and son team's collective onslaught, because from the looks of things, she wouldn't be able to last longer than a month.
She sat down on the padded window seat and looked out the bay window to the driveway below. Unlike her old room, where she was afforded a lovely view of the rose garden via the balcony, she had to make do with a window that barely opened and a view of the street from a distance. The phone rang suddenly, shaking Serena out of her reverie.
"Hello?" she asked when she lifted the phone off the cradle.
"Serena? It's me, Lita. Mrs. Shields told me to call you down for dinner." Lita didn't tell her that Candace had actually said, "Call that Mathis girl down for dinner, Lita, and tell her to bring my grandchild with her." She had a feeling that Serena didn't need to hear that right about now.
"Thanks Lita," Serena replied softly. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Serena," she answered warmly. Seeing Candace walk into the room, Lita cleared her throat. "Mrs. Shields wants to make sure that you bring little Isabella down," she said, the friendly tone gone from her voice.
Serena bit her lip and wiped away the stray tear that had found its way down her cheek. 'Even Lita,' she thought sadly. "Tell her I wouldn't think of leaving my child alone in her room while I'm downstairs eating," she replied, before hanging up the phone.
Downstairs, Lita stared at the phone in her hand and sighed. She hadn't wanted to make Serena think that she had turned on her too, but she _was_ being employed by the Shields family. Before Serena and Darien had arrived from the airport, she and her fellow poker buddies had agreed to gauge Mrs. Shields' reaction before making any moves towards Serena. If she was being hostile, then they would too, but to a lesser degree. Likewise if she was in the forgive-and-forget mode. Lita had been hoping for the latter reaction, but unfortunately for her and especially for Serena, had gotten the former. 'I'm sorry Serena,' she thought. 'But we have to do what we have to do. I'm sure you understand.'
"Well? What did she say?" demanded Candace.
"She said that she would be down soon and that she would be happy to bring down the baby too," Lita replied dutifully, rapidly editing Serena's comment. Candace nodded her head curtly and left without another word.
***************************
Dinner was silent as each person feasted on the steaks and mashed potatoes that Lita had prepared a short while ago. Walter was gazing thoughtfully at the people sitting at the table, lost in their own thoughts. Darien was looking longingly at his daughter and would sneak a few glances at Serena when he thought no one was looking. It was evident that he still loved her, but pride and anger prevented him from admitting it to himself. Candace was casting withering glances at Serena as she cut into her meat rather fiercely, giving Walter the impression that she was envisioning her on that plate instead of the New York strip sirloin, grilled to perfection. Serena never lifted her eyes off her plate, although he could see that she was growing more agitated with every bite. He couldn't blame her for being on pins and needles. His wife and son could be very formidable when crossed the wrong way, as he was.
Try as he might, Walter just couldn't bring himself to behave like Darien and Candace towards the girl who had set him on the road to recovery. Apart from their friendship, Walter felt he at least owed her the gratitude she deserved for seeing something in him that his other physical therapists had failed to see: his value for his independence. Serena had shown him that it was okay to ask for help without feeling like he was imposing, boosting his self-esteem when he was able to perform the simplest tasks. The other physical therapists treated him like an invalid, like it was a chore to help him out, prompting him to act the way he did.
"I will never forgive you for not telling us about Isabella." Walter whipped his head up and saw Candace glaring at Serena.
All activity at the table stopped as Serena slowly put her fork down and lift her head, meeting Candace's fiery eyes. She stiffened her back and lifted her head proudly. "I don't recall asking for forgiveness, Mrs. Shields," she replied steadily, putting as much ice in her voice as she could, considering that she was trembling. Walter was almost proud of her for standing her ground.
Candace's glower deepened as she stared at the young rebel sitting in front of her. "If you think acting like this is going to get you more of Darien's money, you are sadly mistaken. I'm just sorry I didn't see you for the money-grubbing whore that you are when you first came here." If anything Candace said affected Serena, she hid it well. Walter was shocked at his wife's behaviour. But before he could say anything, Serena had wiped her mouth daintily with her napkin and pushed her chair back.
They watched as she reached into her pocket and dug out a hundred dollar bill. She threw it on the table and proceeded to lift Isabella out of her high chair. "Thanks for the meal, Mr. and Mrs. Shields, we should do this again sometime. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go upstairs to my room now; wouldn't want to mar this lovely atmosphere with my whorish ways."
Walter waited until she was gone before he turned to Candace angrily. "That was uncalled for, Candace, and you know it. The important thing is that our granddaughter is here and that we can get to know her now. This hostility is going to get the both of you nowhere, and it's harming the child. I've always thought that you were above that kind of behaviour, Candace," he shook his head sadly, "I guess everyone makes mistakes sometimes, huh?"
He stood up and picked up the money lying on the table. Darien and Candace watched him trudge out of the dining room and listened to him climbing the stairs, presumably on his way to Serena's room. Darien had to admit that his mother had been a little harsh in her treatment of Serena, but at the same time, he couldn't blame her. She had been denied her first grandchild for the first six months of her life, six months of the most crucial stage of her development that she could never get back. He was surprised that his father was still on Serena's side, and he had to admit, he felt a little jealous.
'Why can't he understand where mom and I are coming from?' he wondered, as he and Candace continued their meal in silence.
Upstairs, Walter found Serena in the nursery, holding Isabella and rocking her gently. He knocked on the door lightly, getting Serena's attention. "Yes, Mr. Shields?" she asked quietly.
He walked up to them and stood beside the chair, watching Isabella's eyes closing as she fell closer to sleep. He handed her back her money, which she took reluctantly. "That was quite an exit you made there, girlie."
"If you're going to get on my case too, I suggest you leave because I've had my fair share of reprimands and insults in the last twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime," she said defensively. She was surprised to feel Walter's comforting hand stroking the top of her head.
"I'm not here to give you grief, girlie. I just came up here to ask that you be patient with my wife and son. I know that it's going to be hard living here with everyone against you, but just know that I'm in your corner and I won't let anything happen to you or your daughter," he replied gently.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Walter could see her eyes clouding up with confusing as she tried to decipher his motives for being nice to her.
"Why are you willing to go up against your wife and your son to support the woman who took your only grandchild away from you?" she asked.
"Living in a house filled with anger isn't good for the baby. Besides, I know you had your reasons for leaving the way you did and you're just not ready to share them. Don't forget, I know you. I can tell when you're trying to keep something from me and from Darien so it's no use denying it. I'm sure you'll tell us the real reason you left when you're ready." Serena smiled gratefully at the old man she had come to regard as a second father.
"Thanks Mr. Shields." Walter grinned.
"Surely the woman who gave me my first grandchild is entitled to call me by my first name," he said lightly, causing Serena to blush.
"Can I call you Walter when it's just you and me? I don't want to anger Darien and Mrs. Shields any more than I already have." Walter nodded.
"It's probably for the best. I can't imagine that they're too happy with me at the moment." He walked to the door and was turning the knob when he heard Serena's soft voice.
"Thanks for everything...Walter."
*************************
The next day, Serena woke up early and took a shower after checking to make sure that Isabella was still asleep. She hurriedly wrote out a cheque and walked out of her room confidently with it in her hand. Running into Molly, she asked her where Candace was, and was told that she was in the family room before scurrying away.
She found Candace playing the piano alone in the family room, just as Molly had said. She cleared her throat and instantly, Candace's fingers stopped playing. "What can I do for you, Serena?" she asked, not bothering to turn around.
Wordlessly, Serena walked over to the piano and faced Candace, her expression unreadable. She thrust the cheque out and Candace reached for it tentatively. "It's rent."
"This is twelve hundred dollars. It's too much for just one room."
"Nevertheless, that is how much I will pay every month that I'm living under your roof. You can tell Molly and the girls that they don't have to clean my room because I will be happy to do it myself. As for meals, I will prepare my own and eat it in the privacy of my own room. Don't worry; I'll buy the food but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to store it in your refrigerator," she explained with a coldness in her voice that she wasn't used to addressing Candace with.
"If that is what you want." Still, Candace made no move to look at her.
Serena nodded and turned away. "If you'll excuse me, I'm just going upstairs to tell Darien that I'll be going out for breakfast and to watch Isabella until I return." She ran out the room before Candace could say anything more.
Candace sighed and thought back to Walter's words. In truth, she felt terrible for calling Serena a whore and instantly regretted them the instant they left her mouth. But pride prevented her from apologizing to Serena. The least she was willing to do was to be civil to the girl and if she wanted to pay rent, then who was she to refuse? 'Just because I took the cheque, doesn't mean I'll cash it,' she thought, tearing up the cheque in half and throwing it away.
Serena knocked on Darien's bedroom door, trying to block out the memories that she had of the last time she was in it. 'He called this our room. How foolish I was to actually believe it.' She had been standing there for a while, staring blankly into space, and didn't notice the door opening in front of her, revealing a rumpled looking Darien.
"Serena? What do you want?" he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Serena jumped and cursed herself for letting her eyes rove over his shirtless, pajama-pant covered body.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going out for breakfast and I'm leaving Isabella in your care for a while," she announced.
"You're not having breakfast with us? Why?" Serena raised her eyebrow and smirked.
"Why don't you ask your mother? I'm sure she'll have more than a few words to say about our little arrangement. Well, I'm feeling hungry so I think I'll be going; it's a long walk to the nearest donut shop." Darien watched as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and turn away.
"Hey, you cut your hair." Serena stopped walking and looked back at him, touching her now shoulder-length hair.
"Yeah, it kept getting in Isabella's face every time I held her. Small sacrifice, really." Darien couldn't help but feel guilty at the carefree tone of her voice because he knew she must still be hurting after his mother tore into her last night at the dinner table.
"Do you want to borrow my car?" he asked as a way of extending the olive branch.
"No thanks. Wouldn't want to be accused of mooching off of the Shields estate and taking advantage of my situation." That being said, she turned away from him and walked down the stairs confidently, never once faltering in her steps or looking back to see if he was still watching her.
But she knew he was, and she laughed in her heart at when she saw his reflection in the hall mirror, standing at his door with his mouth hanging open.
****************************
The next few weeks were filled with less tension than her first week back, but that isn't to say that Darien and Candace had forgiven her, or that she was being treated better than a second-class citizen by practically all of the staff. The only ones who seemed to take pity on her were Walter, Alan and surprisingly enough, Melvin.
Darien had taken a week off when he first brought them back from Canada to spend time getting to know his daughter. Now, almost six weeks later, Isabella had grown to love her father and his parents just as much as she loved her mother and her family back in Canada. She called Sammy and Celeste every week on her cell phone and made Isabella listen to their voices so she wouldn't forget them, which wasn't going to happen because every time Sammy got on the line, she would clap her hands excitedly and squeal happily.
One day, a few days after she had settled in Darien's house, she and Darien got into an argument about a petty thing regarding Isabella's body temperature, which Darien thought to be too hot and Serena thought to be just fine, and Darien ended up calling her a bad mother. She shook her head disbelievingly and ran to her room, locking the door behind her. She called her house from her cell phone, refusing to use the phone in her room unless it was to call someone in the house, which was a rare occurrence since there was nobody, apart from Walter, Melvin and Alan, she wanted to talk to.
"Hello?"
"Hi Sammy, it's me." She couldn't keep her voice from wavering and she prayed that her brother didn't notice.
"What wrong, Sere? You sound like you're crying. Did _he_ do something to hurt you?" he asked menacingly.
"No, no. I just really missed hearing your voice that's all."
"You're sure?" Sammy's voice told her that he was doubtful of her explanation.
"Yeah, in fact, everyone's been so nice to me since I've come back. Mr. and Mrs. Shields have welcomed me back with open arms and have treated me with so much kindness." She hated lying to her brother but she didn't want him to worry about her. "Can I speak to Aunt Celeste?"
She could hear Sammy putting his hand over the receiver, muffling his words as he called for Celeste. "Hey, Sere. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Aunt Celeste. I'm just calling to check in."
They exchanged small talk for a few minutes before Celeste suddenly remembered something. "Guess what, Serena. Robert asked me to marry him and I accepted!" Both women squealed with joy and began discussing plans for the wedding. "You'll be my maid of honour, of course, but we still have to set a date for the wedding."
"Oh Aunt Celeste, I'm so happy for you. See? Now you're getting married! I told you the right guy is going to come along any minute and you just had to be patient." Suddenly, Serena heard Isabella crying over the baby monitor. "I've got to go, Aunt Celeste. My little princess just summoned me."
Ever since that day, Serena and Darien never talked about their argument. In fact, they never talked at all. The only times they ever spoke to each other was when it was regarding Isabella, or when it was absolutely necessary. Finally, the stress began to work its way to Serena's heart and she began losing weight and growing pale. It was just like the time Jake first started molesting her. She figured it was time to see Dr. Eisner again before she lost it completely.
"Hello, may I please speak to Dr. Eisner?" she asked Janice.
"Sure, dear."
"Dr. Eisner speaking."
"Hi, Dr. Eisner. It's me, Serena Mathis. I was wondering if I could start seeing you again once a week like before," she began.
Andrew chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. 'This is a conflict of interest. She can't be my patient while Darien is my friend,' he thought. "I'm sorry, Serena, but I've got a full load right now and I won't be able to take in any more patients. However, I'll be happy to refer you to another therapist."
"That's okay. Thanks anyway, Dr. Eisner." Serena hung up before he could say another word.
Dr. Eisner had been her last hope of having someone to talk to who was in a neutral corner. She tucked her cell phone back in her purse and walked out the front door past Melvin, brushing tears away from her face. She ran to the side of the house until she got to the tree she hid behind when she was spying on Darien and the woman he slept with the day after she moved in. She wept bitterly into her hands, her sobs wracking her whole body. She started when she felt a hand touch her shoulder and looked up to see Melvin, concern marring his features.
"Sere, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.
"Aren't you afraid of being seen with me? I am, after all, the lowest member of the caste system, according to Mrs. Shields and her son. You should get out of here before you get in trouble for talking to me," she replied angrily.
"Mrs. Shields may employ me, but she doesn't dictate who my friends are. Now why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked gently, sitting down beside her.
Like a dam had broken in her heart, Serena found herself pouring out her troubles to Melvin until she couldn't speak anymore. She was grateful to Melvin for not interrupting her, waiting until the end before he chipped in his two cents.
"There now, don't you feel better?" he asked. Serena nodded her head and he took it as a sign for him to continue. "I don't know what to tell you, other than to continue doing what you've been doing so far. They'll come around eventually. May I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why did you name her Isabella? Is that a relative of yours or something?" he asked, hoping to get her mind away from her dilemma.
Serena smiled the first true smile since she was forced to come there. "No, I don't even know any Isabellas. It's actually kinda corny but I made it up late at night when I was still pregnant and I felt her kicking me non-stop. I started writing a poem describing everything that my daughter meant to me and I just formed her name from all the adjectives I used."
"What were they?" Melvin asked.
"I wrote that she was my inspiration, my strength, my angel. She would be beautiful, my everything, my love, my life, always. Corny, isn't it?" Melvin smiled and shook his head.
"I think it's beautiful. Her name is an acronym of everything she is." Serena beamed, happy to share her private thoughts with somebody who understood. 'I used to think that was Darien.'
"I've never told anybody that before," she confided. "Everyone assumes I just got her name from a baby book." The two friends rose from their spots and dusted themselves off before going back to the house, Serena to her room, and Melvin to his duties.
From behind another tree, Darien stepped out with a sleeping baby in his arms. He had been out for a walk when he came upon Serena and Melvin sitting under the tree, talking. He was too far away to hear what Serena was telling him, but from her tears, he deduced that she was telling him her sob story. When he got closer, he heard Melvin ask the origin of Isabella's name, something he had often wondered himself. He felt an insane rush of jealousy when he heard her tell him that she had never told anybody the significance of his daughter's name before. He looked down at his daughter's sleeping face. 'She's right. Isabella is all those things and more.'
********************************
Before Serena knew it, Christmas was just one week away and still Darien and his mother treated her like a squatter in their house. Finally, she decided to pull Darien aside one day to have a little talk with him.
"What is this about, Serena?" Darien asked irritably.
"Well, Christmas is coming so I was wondering if we could hold a truce just until the holidays are over. For Isabella's sake," she added, not mentioning that it would be for hers as well.
"Fine. Is that all?" he asked over politely. Serena nodded her head and he left the room.
Two days before Christmas, Candace told them that it was time to take the family Christmas photo. She had a professional photographer set up his equipment in the family room, facing the couch where the photo was to be taken. "Okay, now. Time for the family to sit down," she announced.
Serena stepped forward to fix Isabella's dress when Candace stretched out an arm to stop her. "I _said_ family, and the last time I checked, you aren't part of it." Darien felt pity for Serena, who was still on the receiving end of his mother's barbs, and moved to defend her. 'Mom has gone too far this time.'
"Believe me, from what I've seen, I wouldn't want to be a part of this family," she snapped. "I was just fixing my daughter's dress but since you like to be in control of everything around you, I'll just let you do it yourself. Darien, when you're done with this photo shoot for the 'Perfect Family' poster, could you kindly bring Isabella up to the nursery and put her down for a nap? I'll be over at Amy's to deliver their gifts."
When Serena was gone, the photographer awkwardly cleared his throat and shyly asked them to sit down on the couch. Candace was in the middle holding the baby, with Darien standing behind her and Walter sitting beside her. The poor photographer wanted to ask them to smile, but upon hearing Darien's growl of "just get on with it!" thought it wise to just take the picture and leave. 'The girl was right. Who would want to be part of this family?' he thought privately.
***************************
Serena wearily trudged up the stairs, recalling the farce that they all put on that morning when they were opening their gifts. They all sat around awkwardly around the tree, passing out gifts and pretending to be interested in what was happening around them. Serena took pictures of Isabella with her father and grandparents, documenting her first Christmas in every detail.
She didn't know what to get them, or if she should at all, but good manners dictated she should at least buy her hosts something for the holiday, so she opted to buy them gifts on behalf of her daughter. For Darien, she bought a pair of leather gloves that he could use when he was working with the horses. She bought a silver broach of two baby feet for Candace and a "Number 1 Grandpa" t-shirt for Walter, which he proudly wore for the rest of the day. She signed their cards under Isabella's name.
She hadn't been expecting anything from them and wasn't surprised by what she received. Darien had given her a hundred dollar gift certificate to JC Penny and Candace had given her a subscription to a parenting magazine, leading her to wonder if this was a commentary on her parenting skills. Walter had given her an antique gold locket with Isabella's picture inside.
She was on her way to her room to call her family when she heard Melvin call her from the bottom of the stairs. She ran back down and greeted him with a friendly hug. He shyly thrust a small package wrapped in gold paper and tied with a red bow. Serena eagerly tore into the gift to reveal a snow globe with a mother holding her baby inside.
"You told me that you would miss the snow during Christmas so I got you the next best thing," he said. Serena felt tears in her eyes as she thanked him for the wonderful gift.
"I can't believe you remembered." She took out a small package from her pocket and gave it to Melvin. His eyes lit up when he saw the pocket watch she had given him. "Just like Sherlock Holmes, your hero," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Now get out of here so you can spend the day with your family."
She watched as he waved goodbye from his car, then turned to go to her room, bumping into someone directly behind her. "Darien," she said, "what are you doing standing so close to me?"
"Who gave you that?" he asked, ignoring her question and pointing to the snow globe.
"Melvin did. It's one of the best presents I've ever gotten," she replied, letting her guard down in light of their truce, which was rapidly coming to an end.
Darien once again felt that rush of jealousy boiling in his veins at the mention of Melvin's name. "Oh? Are you planning on seducing him too, like you did me?" he asked nastily. He watched Serena's face turn from shock to sorrow to anger within a span of five seconds.
Then, without warning, she reached up and slapped him hard across the face. Darien looked at her, standing defiantly in front of him, holding her snow globe protectively in one hand. As if he was watching everything happening in slow motion, he saw his hand jerk out and knock the snow globe out of her grasp, sending it crashing to the floor in an explosion of glass and water.
Serena backed away from him, afraid for herself and for him. "You're a monster," she whispered, unable to control the trembling in her voice. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I..." she bit her tongue to stop herself from saying 'loved.' She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I knew." Pushing past him, she ran up the stairs and locked herself in her room, crying herself to sleep.
****************************
Serena was awakened by Isabella's crying. She groggily rolled over in her bed and noted that she was still wearing the same clothes she had on that day. 'Two a.m.' she thought as she hurriedly opened the door to Isabella's room to see what the fuss was about.
Upon seeing her, Isabella immediately stopped crying and raised her arms up, wanting to be held. Despite her fatigue, Serena found herself feeling refreshed and happy. "You just wanted some company, eh little one?" she asked softly as she lifted her out of the crib and into her arms. She took her to the rocking chair and sat down. "I guess we're both lonely, you and I. Don't worry, sweetie. As long as I'm here, you don't ever have to be afraid of being alone."
Isabella burrowed her face into her mother's shoulder and looked at her entreatingly. "All right, honey. I'll sing it for you again," Serena said, recognizing that look in her daughter's face immediately.
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,
All through the night;
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night;
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night.
"While the moon her watch is keeping,
All through the night;
While the weary world is sleeping,
All through the night;
O'er thy spirit gently stealing,
Visions of delight revealing,
Breathes a pure and holy feeling,
All through the night.
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,
All through the night;
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night;
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night."
She watched as Isabella drifted off to sleep during her song and snuggled her closer to her chest. "I know this must be very confusing for you, honey," Serena said quietly when she was sure Isabella had fallen asleep. "It's confusing for me too. I grew up with a mommy and daddy who loved each other very much. I just want you to know that even though you will see your friends living in that kind of family, with a mommy and daddy who love each other, that doesn't mean your family is wrong or bad. Every family is different. Just because your daddy doesn't love your mommy, doesn't mean he loves you any less. I want you to remember that. Your daddy loves you very much and so do I and your grandparents."
Isabella stirred in her arms and Serena stopped talking in fear that she woke up, but she just batted her fist in the air before falling asleep again. "I loved him once, you know," she confided in her sleeping baby. "But now we're just too different and too hurt to forgive each other. I have to admit that it hurts me when I see your father being so hostile to me because I know I made him that way. I turned the man I loved into a man that I can't stand to be around because I wanted to punish him for hurting me the way he did a year ago." She laughed resentfully. "I guess the shoe's on the other foot now, huh?" Getting no response from Isabella, not that she was expecting one, she began to hum the song again, until she fell asleep with Isabella safely tucked in her arms.
In his room, Darien turned over and stared at the baby monitor on his nightstand. He had woken up when Isabella started crying and was about to get up to comfort her, when he heard Serena's voice in the room. He hadn't seen her since their violent encounter by the front door, and he had been waiting all day for her to come out so he could apologize. When night rolled around and still she hadn't opened her door, he declared it a lost cause and went into his room for the night.
His heart twisted when he heard Serena reassuring his daughter that he loved her no matter what happened between them. He hadn't meant to shatter the snow globe but he had been so frustrated with their situation that it felt satisfying to just reach out and break something. Unfortunately, that something happened to be her snow globe. The frightened look in her eyes brought him back to reality, but before he could apologize for what he did, she was already halfway up the stairs, running away once again.
Running away from him.
She had called him a monster and she was right. The way he had been treating her since she came back put him to shame when he reflected back on it that afternoon. He always started all the arguments and insults, leading to anger and resentment from her. Never once had she been the one to instigate an argument; in fact, she was the one who forced him to call a truce for the sake of their daughter. He had no doubt it was also for her sake, but still.
He had agonized over what he should get for her when it suddenly occurred to him that she probably wouldn't get him anything, anyway. Not that he blamed her. So he got her a gift that was meant to say, "See, I didn't forget you, but I didn't spend too much time thinking about you either." He was shocked when he not only got a gift from Serena, but that it was the gloves he had wanted to order but never had the time. Then his mother gave her the subscription to 'Today's Parenting.' He wanted to die. Surely she would have blown up about that, but no. She accepted the gift graciously and handed Candace a gift of her own. It never ceased to amaze him how forgiving she could be.
When he heard Serena admit that she loved him before, his heart skipped a beat. 'It's not too late!' he thought. 'I can win her back.' Then he heard her blame herself for making him turn out that way and his heart broke for her. 'No, Serena. I made myself this way. I wouldn't listen to your reasons for leaving and instead of trying to unite us as a family, I pushed you away until you had nowhere else to turn to, not even the staff. How could I let it get this way?'
He rolled over and punched the pillow, imagining it was himself that he was hitting. 'How could I hurt the one person I've ever loved like that? I don't deserve to have her be the mother of my child. I promise to apologize to you tomorrow, Sere. I just hope it's not too late.'
"Tomorrow," he said determinedly before falling asleep, dreaming of Serena and his daughter, the family he'd always wanted.
*******************************************************
Once again, Happy Birthday Mel! Sorry it's a little late! July 5, 2002.
**************************
Wounded Souls
Chapter twelve-Into the Lion's Den
By: ~crystal~rose~{@
July 1, 2002
***************************
**October-6 months later**
Darien burst through the doors of the library where his mother and father were waiting for his arrival. He was tired and sweaty when he had received the summons from his mother at the stable where he had been cloistered all day, working with the horses.
"You wanted to see me, mom?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow. Walter wrinkled his nose and hid behind the book he was reading.
"Phew, boy! You stink to the high heavens! Gracious my boy, do me a favour and don't sit down. You'll really do a number on the sofa." Ever since Bjorn had deemed him well enough not to rely on help from a physical therapist four months ago, Walter had been more vocal about his opinions, if that was possible. He rose from his seat with a newspaper in his hand and walked over to Darien, who was standing by the door and well aware of his smelly state. "Here boy, stand on this," he said, spreading the newspaper on the floor beneath Darien's feet. "Don't want to soil the carpet, you know."
Darien scowled but obediently stepped on the newspaper. "What is it you wanted, mom?"
Candace looked up from the papers spread out on the desk and smiled at her dirt and sweat-streaked son. He looked just like the mischievous little boy who would run away from her whenever he was due for a spanking. "Well, as you know, I've been organizing a seminar on the importance of women in the medical field for college students..."
"Go on," Darien prompted, somehow not liking the tone of his mother's voice.
Candace smiled beguilingly at him, furthering his suspicions. "Well, I was thinking of inviting Amy along as a guest speaker," she replied, avoiding his eyes.
"So?"
"Well...I was thinking that maybe, since it is Saturday, that you'd go to her office and ask her for me." Candace braced herself for the impending outburst she was sure to come. She wasn't disappointed.
"WHAT? Why can't you do it?" he exclaimed, a hint of a whine in his voice.
"I'm expecting a very important phone call from one of the prospective speakers sometime today. Please Darien, do this for me," she pleaded, batting her eyelashes and clasping her hands. She knew it was a dirty trick, pulling the puppy face on her own son, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Darien folded his arms across his chest and shook his head firmly. Candace sighed. "Well ok, son, if that's how you feel. I'll just leave my post here at the phone and hope that Dr. Johnson doesn't call while I'm out. I'd hate to think that young women fresh out of college would ignore going into medicine just because she wasn't there to inspire them, but I understand if you're busy. You can go play with your little horses now, Darien. Your sense of duty towards those horses is admirable, why, you'd even forsake your duty to your own mother for them." Candace stood up and began gathering her papers together, preparing for a sweeping exit.
Darien squirmed on his newspaper, feeling guilty for saying no to his mother. Sure, he knew that this was just a ploy to make him do her bidding but it was very effective. "That's okay, mother. Just give me a half hour to shower and I'll be on my way," he said in a defeated voice. Darien turned and walked out of the library, missing his mother's triumphant smile.
"You know, Candy, there's no one else better than you at laying down guilt trips," Walter commented, picking up the newspaper Darien had left behind with his thumb and forefinger gingerly and tossed them into the garbage can.
"I've had years of practice, honey," she replied loftily.
**************************
An hour later, Darien was strolling along the halls of Cedars-Sinai hospital, in the direction of Dr. Amy Harris' office. The woman at the information desk told him that Dr. Harris was making rounds at the moment and that he should just go wait in her office if he wanted. 'If I wanted to,' he sniffed as he opened the door that led to Amy's office. "I hope the door isn't locked," Darien said as he turned the knob. The door opened easily and Darien entered the office quietly.
He sat down in one of the chairs in front of Amy's desk. 'Her office sure is clean,' he thought absently, looking around at the butter yellow walls and light blue carpet. There were framed pictures of artwork from local artists on the walls and a leather couch behind him. The room was tastefully decorated and Darien could see that it suited Amy perfectly.
'I don't want to be here,' he thought, slouching in his chair. He looked impatiently at his watch and saw that he had only been waiting for less than five minutes. 'I don't want to be around anything that reminds me of Serena.'
In the past seven months since the incident with Trista, Darien had shunned any woman that showed any remote interest in him. He had come to the conclusion that women were shortening his lifespan. He felt terrible for calling Serena's name out while he was with Trista and he had tried to apologize repeatedly for it. He called her house and sent her flowers and small gifts, all of which were refused and sent back unopened. Finally, after two weeks of apologizing, he decided that enough was enough. If Trista wanted nothing to do with him, he sure as hell wanted nothing to do with her. Darien couldn't even fathom why he was there at her house that night, except that he was lonely and needed to feel wanted. He knew it was a poor excuse, but that was the truth. Trista just happened to be the unfortunate woman who caught Darien at a vulnerable moment. He didn't like what he did to her, but he wouldn't apologize for it his entire life.
Darien looked at his watch again. 'It's been twenty minutes already. I've had enough. I'll just leave her a note to call my mother back at the house and leave,' he thought. Darien stood up and leaned over Amy's desk, searching for a piece of paper and a pen. He was careful not to disturb any files that Amy had left spread out on her desk. Finally, he spotted a pen hidden underneath a file folder and, after rummaging around some more, found a blank piece of paper on the far side of the desk. As he leaned farther out over the desk, his left arm knocked over a framed photo onto the floor.
The frame fell face down on the floor with a slight thump but was otherwise undamaged. Darien let out the breath he was holding and bent down to pick it up. He turned the frame over in his hands and gasped at the image that stared back at him.
It was Serena.
She was smiling as she clutched her stomach.
Her very pregnant stomach.
Darien's hands shook as he turned the frame over and opened the back to take the photo out. He recognized Serena's familiar handwriting immediately.
"'March 12th, 2003,'" he read. "'Dear Amy, only one more month until I become a mommy and I can't wait! I still don't know what to name her. I've narrowed it down to Lily Elizabeth Mathis and Isabella Mathis. I don't know which name to pick. Anyway, I just wanted to send you this picture so that you can see that we're very much ok. Love always, Serena.' She was pregnant?" Darien asked himself. Doing some quick calculations, he learned that Serena was pregnant before she left LA. With shaking hands, he replaced the picture back in its frame and placed it back on the desk where it had been originally resting. He turned and left the office without bothering to write the note after all.
**********************************
Darien sat sullenly at the dinner table later that evening, picking at his food. When he came back from his unfulfilled errand, he escaped to the privacy of his room, but not before having been interrogated by his mother as to the outcome of his trip. He replied that Amy wasn't at her office and that he didn't feel the need to waste his entire afternoon waiting for her when she could easily call her the next day. He stomped up the stairs before his mother could reprimand him for his rudeness.
Now that he was there at the table, he was hardly any better than he was when he came back home. Candace and Walter looked at each other warily, silently debating whether or not they should talk to their temperamental son. In the end, Candace decided to ask what was bothering Darien.
"Nothing," he replied, pushing his peas across his plate. Candace sighed. It was like raising a teenager all over again.
"What is it, son? You haven't been alright since you came back from Amy's office. Did something happen?" she questioned.
"I said nothing happened, so just butt out, okay? Geez, I'm not a little kid anymore," Darien exclaimed, throwing down his napkin on the table. Walter frowned and took a sip of water before answering him.
"You will not talk to your mother in that tone of voice young man. You may be an adult now, but as long as you're living under my house and as long as we're alive, you will treat us with respect. Is that understood." His last sentence was more of a command than a question, and Darien was wise enough to recognize it. He grudgingly nodded his head. "Good. Now why don't you answer your mother."
"Serena had a baby." He said this so low that his parents asked him to repeat it. When he did, he was greeted with stunned silence. Finally, Candace was able to get her senses together and looked at her son questioningly.
"How do you know? When? Who's the father?" she asked, not stopping for a breath between questions.
"I found a picture of her while she was eight months pregnant. She gave birth last April," he replied sullenly. Walter did the same calculations his son did a few hours earlier and it finally dawned on him why Serena was acting the way she was.
'So that was why she was in such a hurry to leave,' he thought. "You have to go to Toronto and bring her and the baby back here."
Darien snapped his head up and looked at his father disbelievingly. "Why should I do that? This is her problem, not mine." Candace just sat there, watching her son and husband contemplatively.
Walter threw his napkin down on the table in disgust. "I always knew you were a womanizer, Darien, but I didn't know you were also a deadbeat father. I had hoped that when you impregnated a woman with my grandchild, you would be responsible enough to take care of it. Obviously, I was wrong. I've never been more disappointed in you, son."
Darien's eyes got round as he went over everything that his father had said. "Whoa, whoa! You lost me at deadbeat father. What the hell are you talking about?" he cried.
It was Walter's turn to be surprised. "You mean, you don't remember?"
"Remember what?" Why was everyone asking him that these days?
Walter cursed inwardly as he realized that he had just revealed the big secret Serena wanted him to keep. But in light of current revelations, he felt that his actions were justified. "She told me before she left that the two of you slept together the night before Amy's wedding. Now, if my calculations are correct, that child she had could very well be yours."
Darien stopped breathing and he felt all the blood drain from his body. "What?" he asked weakly. "Did you just say that Serena and I slept together? She told you? She was the one?" Darien's mind whirled with the information presented to him. He vaguely remembered taking a blonde woman upstairs in his arms that night but that was the extent of his memories. What he did remember was the sex. That was the best sexual experience he'd ever had-not because of the act itself, but because of the incredible feeling of intimacy and security he felt with the woman in his bed-ever since he lost his virginity to his 18 year-old girlfriend when he was just 16. They broke up two months later.
Walter nodded. "Go to Toronto and find out if this child is yours or not. If my suspicions are correct, Serena left LA because she knew she was carrying your child."
"Why didn't she tell me? What did she say to you?" Darien was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his father knew more about his sex life than he did.
"She told me that you were drunk and that she was lonely when you happened upon each other. I saw you carrying her upstairs with my own two eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out what you had in mind," Walter replied.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hurt and betrayal laced Darien's words as he looked at his father.
Walter sighed. "What would you have said when I told you that I saw you and Serena that night? You'd say that I was meddling in your business again and that I should just butt out. Serena asked me to keep quiet about that night because she felt humiliated."
"Humiliated? Why?"
"How would you feel if the person you slept with forgot who you were the next day?" Walter countered. Darien understood. It was basically what he did to Trista, only he forgot her during the act, not after. He rose from his seat without another word and strode decidedly to the phone resting on the buffet cabinet behind them.
"Hello, Jerry? How soon can you come up with a flight plan to Toronto?" Darien paused, listening to the man on the other end. "Three hours? Good. Thanks a lot." Without another word, Darien turned and left the room to pack.
After he was gone, Walter turned to his wife, who had not said a word throughout their entire exchange. "Candy?" he asked. Candace turned to him, eyes blazing.
"How could you keep this from me? From Darien?" she asked. Walter winced at the betrayed look on her face.
"I didn't know she was pregnant when she left. She had asked me to keep the fact that she and Darien slept together a secret because she supposedly seduced him while he was under the influence. Serena was humiliated and she begged me not to tell Darien, to let him remember on his own, if he ever did," he explained.
"I bet she _did_ seduce him. I shouldn't have let her into our home," fumed Candace. Walter could see that Serena was going to have major problems if she ever came back.
"Now, now, dear. We don't know the full story so maybe we should reserve our judgment of her behaviour until she gets here," Walter said, trying to soothe his irate wife by massaging her shoulders. She shrugged his hands off and stood up.
"This isn't over, Walter. I can't believe you kept something of this magnitude from me, not to mention your own son." Candace left the room without looking back.
Alone at the table, Walter looked at the empty spaces left by his wife and son and sighed. 'I hope you bring her back, son. I want to see my grandchild.'
**********************
Darien rang the doorbell of a small bungalow in a quiet neighbourhood in suburban Toronto. It was two o'clock in the afternoon, Toronto time, and he had arrived at about five in the morning. After taking a few hours' nap in a hotel room that he had booked from the plane, he woke up and made his way to Serena's house. He stood outside for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to walk up the steps, ring the doorbell and face his future, whatever that may be.
After ringing the bell about ten times with no answer or even a hint of inhabitants within the house, Darien began to feel that maybe she wasn't home or that he had gotten the wrong house. Just as he was about to step into his rented black sedan, he thought he heard a voice coming from the back yard. Curiosity getting the better of him, he closed the car door and walked to the gate leading to the back of the house. There he saw the woman who had been haunting his dreams for more than a year since her abrupt departure. Her back facing him, Darien could see that she was speaking softly and looking at the trees, whose leaves had changed from green to beautiful shades of yellow, red and orange.
Suddenly, she turned so that Darien could see her profile but she still hadn't taken notice of his presence. In her arms was a chubby baby, bundled up in a colourful dress and white tights to protect her from the brisk autumn afternoon. On her head was a bonnet with ear covers, effectively keeping the chilly wind from her ears and head.
"See honey? Aren't the leaves pretty?" Darien heard Serena ask the baby in her arms. The little angel clapped her hands in glee and giggled, instantly warming his heart. She reached her little arms towards the heavens, straining to catch a falling leaf. She scrunched up her face in disappointment when the leaf fell to the ground.
"Here, baby," Serena said, catching a red leaf for her daughter, "take this." Serena kissed her tenderly on the cheek as she twirled the leaf by the stem. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the baby's hat from her head. If Darien had any doubts as to the paternity of the child Serena was holding, they were erased when his eyes took notice of her black hair, falling in ringlets around her ears. Serena bent down to pick up the hat and on her way up, saw him standing at the gate, watching them.
They stared at each other for a minute before the baby's gurgle broke the silence. Serena blinked and clutched her tighter to her chest. From where he stood, Darien could tell she was fighting back tears. "Darien," she said, her voice shaky and full of an emotion that he just couldn't identify. "Come inside; I've been wondering when you would figure it out."
Darien said nothing as he followed her into the house and closed the sliding glass door silently behind him. He watched Serena walk to a desk by the window, open a drawer and rummage around, seemingly in search for something. At last, she found the papers she was looking for. Wordlessly, she handed him what appeared to be court documents and watched as he read it.
"What the hell is this?" he demanded. Serena shushed him, telling him not to use such language in front of her daughter.
"They're dissolution of parental rights documents. I assume you're here because you think that I would want to sue you for child support now that you know you have a daughter. I've had these drawn up a week after she was born with just this day in mind," she said calmly, as if reciting a grocery list to him.
Darien looked her angrily in the eye and tore up the papers, much to her surprise. "I'm not signing this. I can't believe you kept this from me, Serena. She's my daughter too, and I don't even know her name."
"Isabella," she replied softly.
"I want you and Isabella to come back to LA with me, at least until your maternity leave is over. We can figure something out then," Darien stated. When Serena shook her head firmly, he continued. "If you don't, I'm going to sue you for full custody and you'll never see her again."
Serena's legs shook as she held Isabella tighter to her chest. The baby seemed to pick up on her mother's distress because she immediately began to cry. "It's okay, honey. Mommy's fine," she cooed. Eventually, Isabella's wails turned into soft sobs before she fell asleep altogether. While she rocked her child to sleep, she was thankful that Darien had at least kept quiet, letting her think things through. She saw that she had no choice. If she refused to accompany him back to California, he would sue her, hiring all the legal powerhouses the Shields money could buy while she would get the best lawyer her meager savings and her inheritance could afford. "Alright Darien, I'll go with you. But I'm not leaving until I say goodbye to my family and friends first." The look on her face and the tone of her voice told Darien that this was one area she was not going to back down from.
He looked at his watch impatiently. He had wanted to get back by nightfall in LA but this latest development would set him back to the next day. "Okay, we'll wait. I've got the jet anyway so we can leave whenever we want tomorrow."
Serena nodded tensely. "Would you like to hold her while I make a few phone calls?" she asked in a business-like tone. Darien's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. Carefully, Serena transferred the sleeping baby to his open arms, which stiffened as soon she was laying on them. "Relax Darien, she won't break. Besides, I'll be right here, watching you." She said the last two words sound almost like a threat.
Serena dialed a number on the phone and sat down. After a few rings, she heard a familiar voice answer. "Sam Mathis, sports."
"Hey Sammy, it's me." Serena could just imagine what he's going to say when he gets to the house later that evening.
"Hey Sere, what's up?"
"Could you come by when you're off work? It's important," she said.
"Sure, what's this about?"
"Umm, just come by the house and I'll explain everything."
"Are you sure you're fine, sis?" Serena could hear the concern in his voice. Ever since he received an urgent phone call at work from his aunt, telling him to come to the hospital because his sister had given birth in the car on the highway, Sammy had been even more protective of her. He was a doting uncle who came by every Saturday afternoon with a new toy for his niece. Serena once complained that there were more toys in her house than at Toys R Us.
"I'm sure, Sammy. See you later." She hung up the phone and dialed her aunt's work number. While the phone was ringing, she watched Darien cradling his daughter in his arms. The expression on his face was one of pure fascination and adoration. Had the situation not been so serious, she would have chuckled and teased him about it. When she got Celeste's voice mail, she left a quick message and hung up the phone. She made a similar phone call to Raye's house and left almost the exact same message on her machine.
When she got off the phone, she went back to the couch where Darien was sitting, admiring his new daughter. "She's beautiful," he whispered, more to himself than to her. Serena almost hated to break the father-daughter bonding but she eased Isabella out of his arms and into hers.
"I'm just going to put her in her crib. Do you want to come?" she asked. When he nodded his head eagerly, she turned and started walking down the hall where the nursery was located right beside her room. Darien walked into the pink room decorated with white bunnies and smiled softly. He could tell that Serena had a hand in decorating the nursery. Serena gently lay Isabella down in her white crib and wound up a little toy that played 'Rock a bye, baby' softly.
Darien watched as Serena opened the closet and took out a small suitcase. "I'm going to pack a few of her clothes now so that I don't have to worry about it later," she explained, avoiding his eyes.
"Do you need my help?" he asked.
"No, that's okay. Maybe you could help me later with the crib and stuff like that," she said, placing a few outfits in the bag.
"That's not necessary. I called my mother from the jet and told her to prepare a nursery for when we arrive." Serena gritted her teeth but said nothing. "What?"
"You were so sure that I would just come running when you told me to, huh?" she bit out, managing to just barely control the volume of her voice. "You were so sure that your little threat would work, weren't you?"
"You're coming with me, aren't you?" he retorted. Serena refused to dignify that with a response so she kept packing. Darien looked at the white bureau on the other side of the room and looked at the pictures resting on top of it. He was surprised to find a picture of himself right beside her own.
"You have a picture of me?" he asked.
"I wanted Isabella to know what her father looked like so I put up your picture. This is the second one actually; Sammy threw the first one out the window." What she didn't tell him was that Sammy had thrown it out his car window and ran over it a few times on the driveway, crushing the frame and tearing the picture into shreds.
"If you had told me in the first place, there wouldn't be need for a picture." He grew frustrated when Serena didn't say anything. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Serena finally looked up from her packing and sighed. "How much do you remember about that night, Darien?" she asked.
"To be honest with you, not a lot. I just remember a blonde and carrying her up the stairs. I don't remember anything else," he admitted.
"So how did you find out?" Darien told her the previous day's events and by the time he was finished, Serena was cursing herself for sending that photo to Amy. At least he couldn't remember her saying that she loved him, or him telling her that he loved her. There was still that much left. So she decided to let him continue thinking that she had indeed seduced him because in her mind, that was a lesser humiliation than being duped into going to bed with the first man who's ever said 'I love you' to her in her entire life, and finding that it was false the next day. She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for what she had to say to keep her story up. "Look Darien, I'm really sorry about not telling you about Isabella. I was scared when I found out that I was pregnant and then my mother died a week later. It was just too much for me so I decided to take off."
Darien looked at her sternly and Serena was suddenly feeling like a teacher was reprimanding her for her bad behaviour. "That's no excuse and you know it. Were you ever going to tell me that I had a daughter?"
On the outside, Serena looked repentant, but on the inside, her pride was smarting from his rebuke. 'This never would've happened if I had just stuck to my guns that night and never gone to bed with him,' she thought rebelliously. 'He has no right to judge me for my actions because his are just as bad as mine.' She showed no reaction to his words, further frustrating Darien. "Do you want to look at some photo albums?" she asked as a way of getting him to stop looking at her with so much blame and anger. Darien nodded after a few seconds of thought and waited for her to come back into the nursery with an armful of albums in her hand.
"I've been photographing her practically everyday," she explained, opening up an album for him to see. There were black and white photos of Isabella at various stages of her development. Darien was amazed at the professional quality of the photos and its artistic nature.
"These are great. I can't believe you took these."
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Darien," she replied cryptically but Darien was too engrossed in looking at the pictures to hear her.
****************************
It was almost six o'clock and they both knew everyone would be arriving shortly. Serena and Darien had spent the past few hours poring over the photo albums and watching home movies of their daughter. When Isabella woke up, Darien played with her, almost hesitantly at first, then with an enthusiasm rivaling that of a four year old as the time wore on. Serena had shown him newspaper clippings reporting Isabella's birth on the highway and had played the tapes of every news broadcast of the event that she had. There was even a whole page dedicated to her, Isabella and Celeste in the hospital newsletter.
The doorbell rang just a few minutes after they cleaned Isabella up from her meal and Serena rushed to answer the door. She found Sammy and Celeste standing at the top of the stairs with Justin's car just pulling into the driveway. When everyone had entered the house, she settled them down in the living room and started wringing her hands in worry. She told Darien to wait in the nursery until she called him before he made his appearance.
"What is this about, Serena?" Raye asked, getting to the point. "You left a message at my house saying that you needed to tell us something important and to come over here when Justin got back from work. So here we are; what's up?"
Serena smiled wryly and took a calming breath. "You don't beat around the bush, do you, Raye?" she asked. Seeing that Raye was beginning to fume, she continued hastily. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I left for LA."
"WHAT?!" all four of them exploded at once, scaring Kayla half to death. Raye began to comfort her when she could hear whimpers coming from her child.
"It's that Darien bastard, isn't it?" Sammy said venomously.
Serena nodded her head and began to explain his sudden appearance that afternoon at their house and his request that she come back with him. Serena had deliberately left out the part where he threatened to push for full custody in order to keep the peace, but she could see by the dark looks on Sammy and Justin's faces that it was not meant to be. "Where is he?" Justin asked, a frown marring his usually easy-going face. Raye held his arm back, as if she was afraid that he was going on a murderous rampage at any second.
At that moment, Darien stepped out from the hallway, carrying Isabella in his arms. Serena could almost swear that Sammy's pupils turned red at the sight. "Let go of my niece!" he demanded, pushing past Serena and jabbing a finger in Darien's chest. Darien, in turn, held Isabella even tighter in his grip and turned his body to shield her from the confrontation he had been preparing himself for the moment he stepped through the door that afternoon.
"In case you've conveniently inherited your sister's sudden case of amnesia, let me remind you that I am her father. Therefore, as her parent, I am more entitled to be in her life than you, so back off," he sneered. Sammy's face turned red with anger and his hands clenched into fists.
Serena stepped in between them and took her child from Darien, hoping to ease the tension building up between the two men. She urged her brother to sit down beside Celeste, who sat in shocked silence. Finally, she spoke.
"What made you decide to move back there, Serena?"
"Um, well...I've realized that it was..." here she had a hard time forming the words that she had to say, "wrong of me to keep Isabella from her father and his family. I've already agreed to live out the rest of my maternity leave there in his home."
"But what about after?" Celeste asked. Serena turned to Darien, asking him the same question with her eyes.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," he answered. Sammy and Justin exchanged angry looks with each other and glared at him.
"So what happens if Sere wants to come back here after six months?" Justin asked angrily. "You'll dump her on the next available flight and keep Isabella there, is that it? I don't think so, Shields. If Sere comes back without that baby, you can be sure I'll be there within the next few hours to get her back with a baseball bat in my hand."
"Don't forget me," Sammy added. Serena groaned inwardly at this display of male chauvinism.
"I want in on this deal too." Raye stood up from her seat and strode over to Darien, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. "You hurt my best friend, you lying piece of trash. You told her you lo-OW!" Serena pinched Raye's back to keep her from finishing her sentence. "What did you do that for?" she demanded, rubbing at the spot that was in pain. Serena shrugged weakly and smiled.
"I just didn't want you to say something you'll regret," she said. 'I don't want you to say something _I'll_ regret,' she added silently.
Raye scowled. "Believe me, I won't regret anything I have to say to this guy. I think he's an asshole for doing what he did. What gives him the right to just stand there and judge you like that? Just because he's a Shields, doesn't mean he can come in here and take what's not his."
"Not mine? I do believe that this is _my_ daughter, Raye, and she's been kept from me for far too long. This has nothing to do with my name or how much money I have. Serena's irresponsible actions speak for themselves, so I don't need to stand here in judgment of them or her. I came here to see my daughter and to try to work out a deal with her mother. That is all." Darien's patience had worn thin with their accusations.
Serena stood in the midst of the hostility, her heart breaking. When she heard him speak about her as if she were a criminal about to be convicted of a crime, she knew that there was nothing between them anymore. To hear him refer to her as nothing more than his daughter's mother just shattered any hopes she had of getting back her former friendship with him. Forcing back the tears, she faced the warring groups of people with a shaky smile. "We're going to be leaving in the morning so why don't you guys just go home and cool off? Aunt Celeste, will you be alright here by yourself without me?" she asked.
Celeste bit her lip, considering her words carefully. "Although I hate this man for what he did to my niece, I'm afraid that he's right. He does have a right to see his daughter, but from what I've been hearing of him and from what I've seen today, I'm not impressed with him. Frankly Serena, you could have done much better. This man has hurt and humiliated you in front of your family and friends. It's obvious that you're not willing to go along with him but he's got something over you. If it's the custody issue you're worried about, let me assure you that I would work till my dying day to make sure that it never happens. Don't let him force you into doing something you don't want to do."
Serena felt tears prick her eyes and she thanked God that the living room was dark so the rest of them couldn't see. "No...it's not that, Aunt Celeste. I promise you." Serena felt the mountain of lies she'd been telling ever since she slept with Darien grow ever larger, so that she was having a hard time remembering what had started it all in the first place. "Please you guys, I need your support in this."
Raye hugged Serena and kissed Isabella on the cheek. "If you're sure..." Serena nodded firmly, not trusting herself to speak. "Ok then. Call me once you're settled," she added, pulling Justin away from Darien. Justin kissed Serena on the cheek and Isabella on the forehead.
"If he does _anything_ to you, just give me a call and I'll be over here just as soon as I can," he whispered in her ear. Serena smiled and hugged him fiercely.
Sammy glowered at Darien one last time before turning to Serena. "Call me if you need anything or you just need to talk. Don't let this creep get you down, sis. I swear I'll bust his ass if he harms one hair on your head or on Isabella's," he said loudly for Darien's benefit. Darien rolled his eyes before narrowing them.
"I would never hurt my daughter." Serena couldn't help but notice that he didn't say the same for her. Giving her a big hug and Isabella a kiss on the cheek, Sammy turned to the door where Raye, Justin and Kayla were waiting for him. Celeste walked them out the door to give Serena and Darien a little privacy.
"What time are you going to pick us up, Darien?" she asked. Darien raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.
"What makes you think I'm leaving this house? There's no way I'm leaving you here alone with Isabella, not by a long shot. Who knows how far away you'd be by the time morning rolls around?" he asked.
Although she knew she deserved that, Serena couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It was one thing to keep Isabella away from him when Darien didn't even know she existed, but it was another thing to sneak away with her in the dead of night like some common criminal with her loot. "I gave you my word that I would go back with you, what more do you want?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, we all know how good your word is," Darien scoffed. "You want to know what I want? I want those six months back. I want to be present for her birth, to see her as she grew up. You took that away from me Serena and I don't think I can forgive you for that."
Serena handed Isabella over to Darien and disappeared down the hallway. He heard her opening a door and rummaging through a closet. Soon she returned armed with a sheet, blanket and a pillow. "You can sleep on the couch." She took Isabella and handed him the items. "When my aunt comes back, tell her we're in my room packing." She walked down the hallway and disappeared into her room without looking back.
Darien sighed as he made up the couch. He was about to tell Celeste where Serena had gone but she walked by him without a word and slammed the door to her room. This was not how he wanted to reunite with Serena and meet his daughter. He wanted to ask Serena to marry him so that they could become the family he always wanted, but after seeing the documents she wanted him to sign, his plans went right out the window. He couldn't believe that Serena had actually believed that he would sign papers to dissolve his parental rights and he couldn't believe that she had kept something this big from him all this time.
"I'm sorry, Sere. I love you but I can't forgive you. Not for this," he said, before succumbing to his sleep.
*************************
Serena sat as far away from Darien as she could, which wasn't far considering they were on his private jet flying 30,000 feet from the ground. If she could have her way, she would be sitting on the wing of the plane, far away from Darien's withering gaze. Instead, she sat there on one of the leather couches in the beautifully crafted jet, with Isabella on her lap, pretending to ignore the hole that Darien was burning in her forehead. She wanted to tell Darien to stop staring at her, but that would only fuel the hostility he felt towards her. If she was to survive in his house for the next six months, it was important for her not to burn any more bridges with the Shields family.
Serena sighed dejectedly as she watched her daughter sleeping in her arms. She envied the innocence and peace evident on her child's face. Serena prayed that her daughter would always have those qualities about her. Still feeling Darien's eyes on her, Serena leaned back on the couch, putting her legs up and shifting Isabella carefully in her right arm. She propped her left arm on the back of the sofa and looked out the window.
"You know, I rode a plane for the first time when I was six years old," she told the sleeping Isabella softly. "We were going to visit my grandparents in British Columbia. That's on the other side of Canada, so it's very far away from where we lived. I told your Uncle Sammy that when we're high up in the air, I would open up the window and catch a cloud for him." She chuckled, remembering how wide her brother's eyes got when she made her innocent promise to him.
"I was so disappointed when we were seated in the plane and the window wouldn't open, that I started to cry. My mommy and daddy couldn't figure out why I was crying but your Uncle Sammy did. He didn't get mad at me for not being able to keep my promise. He drew me a picture of a cloud and gave it to me. He told me that he didn't need me to catch a cloud for him to know that I could do anything because I was his big sister. You know what?" she whispered secretively in Isabella's ear. "I still have that picture. It's in my scrapbook and I have it with me wherever I go. When you get older, I'll start a scrapbook for your artwork."
Darien listened to her story from the couch on across from her. It made him smile to think of Serena at six years old, promising to catch a cloud for her brother. Without thinking, he opened his mouth and asked, "Was that true?" He wanted to smack himself on the forehead the instant those words left his mouth.
Serena looked at him with a frown. "Of course it is," she snapped, "I would never lie to my child."
"Just her father, right?"
"I did what I thought was best at the time. I wouldn't change a thing." Serena turned away from him then, ending further conversation. They remained in their respective corners until the pilot announced that they would be touching down in fifteen minutes. Isabella woke up at the sudden noise and started crying, pawing at her left ear.
"What's wrong?" asked Darien, sitting down beside Serena and stroking the baby's back comfortingly.
"I think her ears are popping," explained Serena.
"What should we do?" Darien's heart went out to her, with her blue eyes welling up with tears. Isabella sobbed pitifully on her mother's shoulder, her chest heaving as she took big, gulping breaths.
Serena thought for a minute before producing a pacifier from her pocket. "It's the best we can do. If she were older, I would give her a piece of gum or tell her to swallow, but right now, she won't be able to understand that. Let's hope she starts sucking on this so the popping will be reduced." To her relief, the pacifier lived up to its name by not only calming Isabella down but also by relieving the discomfort.
The landing was smooth and perfect, nothing less than one would have expected from a pilot hired by Darien Shields. Unbuckling their seatbelts, Serena gathered Isabella's diaper bag and her purse while Darien carried his suitcase in one hand and Serena's duffel bag filled with some of her belongings over his shoulder. The rest of her baggage was stowed in the back of the plane, where the porters who had been waiting on the ground would find it easily. After thanking the pilots, Serena, Darien and Isabella walked down the stairway and onto the tarmac. A limousine was waiting a few feet from the plane, and Serena was happy to see Alan stepping out and opening the door for her.
"Welcome back, Serena. You didn't keep your promise to keep in touch," he teased lightly.
Serena smiled and kissed Isabella on the forehead. "I was busy," she replied. She was surprised to see a car seat already strapped in to the seats. "You thought of everything," she said to Darien.
"Somebody has to," he replied icily. Serena bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying just what was on her mind.
'What a pompous ass,' she thought bitterly, securing Isabella in her seat. 'He's going to hold this over me for the rest of my life, from the looks of it. You'd think he missed his chance to be father of the year or something. I wonder what I ever saw in him.' She sat down beside the window and looked out the window the entire ride to his house. Once again, she could feel him looking at her and she was getting sick of it.
"What?" she snapped. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
"Then why do you keep looking at me?" Darien smirked.
"Like I said, I was looking at nothing." Grasping the meaning of his words, Serena turned her head and continued to look out the window, her lip quivering.
'Don't let him see you cry.' That had become her new mantra over the past few months and she found that it actually worked to strengthen her resolve to be stronger. As the streets became more familiar, and the houses more majestic, Serena's stomach knotted more and more. 'What does Candace and Mr. Shields have in store for me?' she wondered silently, clasping her hands together to stop their shaking. Much too soon for her liking, Alan pulled the limo into the Shields driveway and stopped the car.
Darien got out first, helping Alan unload the luggage from the trunk. Serena took a deep breath, and then proceeded to carefully remove Isabella from her car seat. As she stepped out of the car, she felt Alan's presence close to her.
"Good luck," he whispered in her ear. Luckily, Darien hadn't noticed, as he was busy lugging the suitcases to the door. She gave him a quick smile and steeled herself for the long walk to the front door. Just as she reached the top step, the double doors were thrown open and Walter and Candace were standing in the doorway, wearing grim expressions on their faces.
Serena swallowed and licked her suddenly dry lips. Walter stepped forward and smiled encouragingly, making her feel more at ease. "Is this my granddaughter?" he asked softly, already running his fingers through her thick, black hair. She chose that moment to wake up, blinking her eyes sleepily at her grandfather. "She's beautiful, girlie. May I?"
Serena nodded and passed her on to Walter, who held her tenderly to his chest. He looked years younger, his wrinkles smoothing out and his posture straighter. "Come in, you two. Don't just stand there like common door-to-door salesmen." Walter led them into the house, with Candace bringing up the rear. Serena was nervously waiting for Candace to say something-anything-that would reassure her that there were no hard feelings between them, as Walter had done.
"So, what is my granddaughter's name, Serena?" Candace asked. By her icy tone, Serena felt her hopes dashed.
"Her name is Isabella Mathis, Mrs. Shields," she answered with a slight tilt in her chin that Candace didn't fail to notice. Walking over to Walter, she looked at the baby and stroked her cheek softly.
"She certainly is beautiful, I'll give you that. I just never imagined that I would be seeing my first grandchild six months after she was born." The tension in the air was almost palpable and Serena felt the walls closing in on her. If Darien didn't kill her first, she was certain his mother would gladly do the honours.
Thankfully, it was time for Serena to feed Isabella so she timidly asked where the nursery was. Candace told her that it was right across the hall from Darien's room, which would be adjoining hers. Molly led her to her new room, no longer the yellow room that she had stayed in a year ago, but a plain beige room with simple décor and lacking the luxury she had been used to. Not that she cared one way or another. She was just here for her baby and nothing else. Serena knew that Candace was just throwing her weight around, sending her a message that she didn't appreciate being left out of the loop.
"So how have you been, Molly?" Serena asked as she set her things down.
"I've been okay." Serena noticed that Molly avoided looking her in the eye. "I've got to go now," she said, beating a hasty retreat out the door.
Serena sighed mournfully. So that was how it was going to be from now on. She was going to be the outcast in this house, even among its staff. Although she hated to admit it, the thought of everyone in this massive house being against her, stung her. She noticed a door opposite her bed and opened it, revealing a beautiful nursery.
Serena gasped and entered the pink room decorated with stars and crescent moons. She sat down on the rocking chair and unbuttoned her blouse. As if knowing exactly what was about to happen, Isabella turned to her mother with her mouth already open. "Hungry little girl, aren't you?"
A few minutes later, she heard a soft knock on the door leading to the hallway. "Serena, can I come in?" Darien's disembodied voice asked.
"Just a sec," she called. She stood up, grabbed a soft, knitted blanket and threw it loosely over Isabella, hiding her exposed breast. She sat back down on the rocking chair and settled herself comfortably before saying that it was okay to come in. Darien opened the door and saw that the delay was due to Serena covering herself up.
"Why bother," he asked, gesturing to the blanket, "I've already seen it."
"It doesn't count if you don't remember," she snapped, glaring at him. "Look, if my entire stay is going to consist of you going all psycho-judgmental on me, you might as well call your lawyers, cuz I'm not going to stay here to become your human punching bag. I won't take it."
"_You're_ not going to take it? What about me? I had no choice _but_ to take what you did to me, so don't sit here whining about the lack of welcome you got from me and my mother. It's a miracle you managed to escape unscathed from dad, but then again, you two were always pretty chummy with each other," Darien bit out harshly. Isabella started crying from under the blanket, and although Serena was angry that Darien's loud voice made her cry, deep down, she was extremely thankful.
"Are you happy now, Darien? Please get out so that I can finish feeding my daughter." Darien's face tightened in anger and for a second, Serena was actually afraid of him.
"_Our_ daughter," he corrected, walking out the door and shutting it behind him forcefully. The walls shook and Isabella cried harder. Only when he was gone did Serena allow herself the luxury of shedding a few tears.
After calming herself down, she lifted the blanket from her shoulder and revealed Isabella's red face scrunched up angrily. She kissed away her tears and resumed feeding her. "It's okay," she sang to the tune of a familiar lullaby, "mommy's here. She won't let them hurt you. Drink your milk, dry your tears, I'll be here to chase away your fears. Close your eyes, and goodnight, da da da da, da da dum..." She carefully lay Isabella down in her crib and kissed her shut eyelids gently. Then she tiptoed out of the room and into her own.
When she compared the nursery to her now simple room, it was obvious that Candace had the power to do a quick renovation, it's just that she didn't deem her worthy enough to bother. She shrugged to herself, making a silent vow not to let Darien and his mother get to her. After all, they were justified in their anger towards her, to a certain extent. She admitted that maybe it was wrong not to tell Darien that he was a father, but as necessity dictated action, she felt justified in her own right to keep this secret from her millionaire father who probably had the power to evict Satan himself from hell if he wanted to.
She stayed in her room all afternoon, unpacking her things. She could hear Darien playing with Isabella, who had woken up after a few hours of blissful sleep, over the baby monitor. She had to grudgingly admit that Darien made a wonderful father, one who was willing to pull all the stops to make sure his child was happy. Serena just hoped that she would be able to survive the Shields mother and son team's collective onslaught, because from the looks of things, she wouldn't be able to last longer than a month.
She sat down on the padded window seat and looked out the bay window to the driveway below. Unlike her old room, where she was afforded a lovely view of the rose garden via the balcony, she had to make do with a window that barely opened and a view of the street from a distance. The phone rang suddenly, shaking Serena out of her reverie.
"Hello?" she asked when she lifted the phone off the cradle.
"Serena? It's me, Lita. Mrs. Shields told me to call you down for dinner." Lita didn't tell her that Candace had actually said, "Call that Mathis girl down for dinner, Lita, and tell her to bring my grandchild with her." She had a feeling that Serena didn't need to hear that right about now.
"Thanks Lita," Serena replied softly. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Serena," she answered warmly. Seeing Candace walk into the room, Lita cleared her throat. "Mrs. Shields wants to make sure that you bring little Isabella down," she said, the friendly tone gone from her voice.
Serena bit her lip and wiped away the stray tear that had found its way down her cheek. 'Even Lita,' she thought sadly. "Tell her I wouldn't think of leaving my child alone in her room while I'm downstairs eating," she replied, before hanging up the phone.
Downstairs, Lita stared at the phone in her hand and sighed. She hadn't wanted to make Serena think that she had turned on her too, but she _was_ being employed by the Shields family. Before Serena and Darien had arrived from the airport, she and her fellow poker buddies had agreed to gauge Mrs. Shields' reaction before making any moves towards Serena. If she was being hostile, then they would too, but to a lesser degree. Likewise if she was in the forgive-and-forget mode. Lita had been hoping for the latter reaction, but unfortunately for her and especially for Serena, had gotten the former. 'I'm sorry Serena,' she thought. 'But we have to do what we have to do. I'm sure you understand.'
"Well? What did she say?" demanded Candace.
"She said that she would be down soon and that she would be happy to bring down the baby too," Lita replied dutifully, rapidly editing Serena's comment. Candace nodded her head curtly and left without another word.
***************************
Dinner was silent as each person feasted on the steaks and mashed potatoes that Lita had prepared a short while ago. Walter was gazing thoughtfully at the people sitting at the table, lost in their own thoughts. Darien was looking longingly at his daughter and would sneak a few glances at Serena when he thought no one was looking. It was evident that he still loved her, but pride and anger prevented him from admitting it to himself. Candace was casting withering glances at Serena as she cut into her meat rather fiercely, giving Walter the impression that she was envisioning her on that plate instead of the New York strip sirloin, grilled to perfection. Serena never lifted her eyes off her plate, although he could see that she was growing more agitated with every bite. He couldn't blame her for being on pins and needles. His wife and son could be very formidable when crossed the wrong way, as he was.
Try as he might, Walter just couldn't bring himself to behave like Darien and Candace towards the girl who had set him on the road to recovery. Apart from their friendship, Walter felt he at least owed her the gratitude she deserved for seeing something in him that his other physical therapists had failed to see: his value for his independence. Serena had shown him that it was okay to ask for help without feeling like he was imposing, boosting his self-esteem when he was able to perform the simplest tasks. The other physical therapists treated him like an invalid, like it was a chore to help him out, prompting him to act the way he did.
"I will never forgive you for not telling us about Isabella." Walter whipped his head up and saw Candace glaring at Serena.
All activity at the table stopped as Serena slowly put her fork down and lift her head, meeting Candace's fiery eyes. She stiffened her back and lifted her head proudly. "I don't recall asking for forgiveness, Mrs. Shields," she replied steadily, putting as much ice in her voice as she could, considering that she was trembling. Walter was almost proud of her for standing her ground.
Candace's glower deepened as she stared at the young rebel sitting in front of her. "If you think acting like this is going to get you more of Darien's money, you are sadly mistaken. I'm just sorry I didn't see you for the money-grubbing whore that you are when you first came here." If anything Candace said affected Serena, she hid it well. Walter was shocked at his wife's behaviour. But before he could say anything, Serena had wiped her mouth daintily with her napkin and pushed her chair back.
They watched as she reached into her pocket and dug out a hundred dollar bill. She threw it on the table and proceeded to lift Isabella out of her high chair. "Thanks for the meal, Mr. and Mrs. Shields, we should do this again sometime. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go upstairs to my room now; wouldn't want to mar this lovely atmosphere with my whorish ways."
Walter waited until she was gone before he turned to Candace angrily. "That was uncalled for, Candace, and you know it. The important thing is that our granddaughter is here and that we can get to know her now. This hostility is going to get the both of you nowhere, and it's harming the child. I've always thought that you were above that kind of behaviour, Candace," he shook his head sadly, "I guess everyone makes mistakes sometimes, huh?"
He stood up and picked up the money lying on the table. Darien and Candace watched him trudge out of the dining room and listened to him climbing the stairs, presumably on his way to Serena's room. Darien had to admit that his mother had been a little harsh in her treatment of Serena, but at the same time, he couldn't blame her. She had been denied her first grandchild for the first six months of her life, six months of the most crucial stage of her development that she could never get back. He was surprised that his father was still on Serena's side, and he had to admit, he felt a little jealous.
'Why can't he understand where mom and I are coming from?' he wondered, as he and Candace continued their meal in silence.
Upstairs, Walter found Serena in the nursery, holding Isabella and rocking her gently. He knocked on the door lightly, getting Serena's attention. "Yes, Mr. Shields?" she asked quietly.
He walked up to them and stood beside the chair, watching Isabella's eyes closing as she fell closer to sleep. He handed her back her money, which she took reluctantly. "That was quite an exit you made there, girlie."
"If you're going to get on my case too, I suggest you leave because I've had my fair share of reprimands and insults in the last twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime," she said defensively. She was surprised to feel Walter's comforting hand stroking the top of her head.
"I'm not here to give you grief, girlie. I just came up here to ask that you be patient with my wife and son. I know that it's going to be hard living here with everyone against you, but just know that I'm in your corner and I won't let anything happen to you or your daughter," he replied gently.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Walter could see her eyes clouding up with confusing as she tried to decipher his motives for being nice to her.
"Why are you willing to go up against your wife and your son to support the woman who took your only grandchild away from you?" she asked.
"Living in a house filled with anger isn't good for the baby. Besides, I know you had your reasons for leaving the way you did and you're just not ready to share them. Don't forget, I know you. I can tell when you're trying to keep something from me and from Darien so it's no use denying it. I'm sure you'll tell us the real reason you left when you're ready." Serena smiled gratefully at the old man she had come to regard as a second father.
"Thanks Mr. Shields." Walter grinned.
"Surely the woman who gave me my first grandchild is entitled to call me by my first name," he said lightly, causing Serena to blush.
"Can I call you Walter when it's just you and me? I don't want to anger Darien and Mrs. Shields any more than I already have." Walter nodded.
"It's probably for the best. I can't imagine that they're too happy with me at the moment." He walked to the door and was turning the knob when he heard Serena's soft voice.
"Thanks for everything...Walter."
*************************
The next day, Serena woke up early and took a shower after checking to make sure that Isabella was still asleep. She hurriedly wrote out a cheque and walked out of her room confidently with it in her hand. Running into Molly, she asked her where Candace was, and was told that she was in the family room before scurrying away.
She found Candace playing the piano alone in the family room, just as Molly had said. She cleared her throat and instantly, Candace's fingers stopped playing. "What can I do for you, Serena?" she asked, not bothering to turn around.
Wordlessly, Serena walked over to the piano and faced Candace, her expression unreadable. She thrust the cheque out and Candace reached for it tentatively. "It's rent."
"This is twelve hundred dollars. It's too much for just one room."
"Nevertheless, that is how much I will pay every month that I'm living under your roof. You can tell Molly and the girls that they don't have to clean my room because I will be happy to do it myself. As for meals, I will prepare my own and eat it in the privacy of my own room. Don't worry; I'll buy the food but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to store it in your refrigerator," she explained with a coldness in her voice that she wasn't used to addressing Candace with.
"If that is what you want." Still, Candace made no move to look at her.
Serena nodded and turned away. "If you'll excuse me, I'm just going upstairs to tell Darien that I'll be going out for breakfast and to watch Isabella until I return." She ran out the room before Candace could say anything more.
Candace sighed and thought back to Walter's words. In truth, she felt terrible for calling Serena a whore and instantly regretted them the instant they left her mouth. But pride prevented her from apologizing to Serena. The least she was willing to do was to be civil to the girl and if she wanted to pay rent, then who was she to refuse? 'Just because I took the cheque, doesn't mean I'll cash it,' she thought, tearing up the cheque in half and throwing it away.
Serena knocked on Darien's bedroom door, trying to block out the memories that she had of the last time she was in it. 'He called this our room. How foolish I was to actually believe it.' She had been standing there for a while, staring blankly into space, and didn't notice the door opening in front of her, revealing a rumpled looking Darien.
"Serena? What do you want?" he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Serena jumped and cursed herself for letting her eyes rove over his shirtless, pajama-pant covered body.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going out for breakfast and I'm leaving Isabella in your care for a while," she announced.
"You're not having breakfast with us? Why?" Serena raised her eyebrow and smirked.
"Why don't you ask your mother? I'm sure she'll have more than a few words to say about our little arrangement. Well, I'm feeling hungry so I think I'll be going; it's a long walk to the nearest donut shop." Darien watched as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and turn away.
"Hey, you cut your hair." Serena stopped walking and looked back at him, touching her now shoulder-length hair.
"Yeah, it kept getting in Isabella's face every time I held her. Small sacrifice, really." Darien couldn't help but feel guilty at the carefree tone of her voice because he knew she must still be hurting after his mother tore into her last night at the dinner table.
"Do you want to borrow my car?" he asked as a way of extending the olive branch.
"No thanks. Wouldn't want to be accused of mooching off of the Shields estate and taking advantage of my situation." That being said, she turned away from him and walked down the stairs confidently, never once faltering in her steps or looking back to see if he was still watching her.
But she knew he was, and she laughed in her heart at when she saw his reflection in the hall mirror, standing at his door with his mouth hanging open.
****************************
The next few weeks were filled with less tension than her first week back, but that isn't to say that Darien and Candace had forgiven her, or that she was being treated better than a second-class citizen by practically all of the staff. The only ones who seemed to take pity on her were Walter, Alan and surprisingly enough, Melvin.
Darien had taken a week off when he first brought them back from Canada to spend time getting to know his daughter. Now, almost six weeks later, Isabella had grown to love her father and his parents just as much as she loved her mother and her family back in Canada. She called Sammy and Celeste every week on her cell phone and made Isabella listen to their voices so she wouldn't forget them, which wasn't going to happen because every time Sammy got on the line, she would clap her hands excitedly and squeal happily.
One day, a few days after she had settled in Darien's house, she and Darien got into an argument about a petty thing regarding Isabella's body temperature, which Darien thought to be too hot and Serena thought to be just fine, and Darien ended up calling her a bad mother. She shook her head disbelievingly and ran to her room, locking the door behind her. She called her house from her cell phone, refusing to use the phone in her room unless it was to call someone in the house, which was a rare occurrence since there was nobody, apart from Walter, Melvin and Alan, she wanted to talk to.
"Hello?"
"Hi Sammy, it's me." She couldn't keep her voice from wavering and she prayed that her brother didn't notice.
"What wrong, Sere? You sound like you're crying. Did _he_ do something to hurt you?" he asked menacingly.
"No, no. I just really missed hearing your voice that's all."
"You're sure?" Sammy's voice told her that he was doubtful of her explanation.
"Yeah, in fact, everyone's been so nice to me since I've come back. Mr. and Mrs. Shields have welcomed me back with open arms and have treated me with so much kindness." She hated lying to her brother but she didn't want him to worry about her. "Can I speak to Aunt Celeste?"
She could hear Sammy putting his hand over the receiver, muffling his words as he called for Celeste. "Hey, Sere. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Aunt Celeste. I'm just calling to check in."
They exchanged small talk for a few minutes before Celeste suddenly remembered something. "Guess what, Serena. Robert asked me to marry him and I accepted!" Both women squealed with joy and began discussing plans for the wedding. "You'll be my maid of honour, of course, but we still have to set a date for the wedding."
"Oh Aunt Celeste, I'm so happy for you. See? Now you're getting married! I told you the right guy is going to come along any minute and you just had to be patient." Suddenly, Serena heard Isabella crying over the baby monitor. "I've got to go, Aunt Celeste. My little princess just summoned me."
Ever since that day, Serena and Darien never talked about their argument. In fact, they never talked at all. The only times they ever spoke to each other was when it was regarding Isabella, or when it was absolutely necessary. Finally, the stress began to work its way to Serena's heart and she began losing weight and growing pale. It was just like the time Jake first started molesting her. She figured it was time to see Dr. Eisner again before she lost it completely.
"Hello, may I please speak to Dr. Eisner?" she asked Janice.
"Sure, dear."
"Dr. Eisner speaking."
"Hi, Dr. Eisner. It's me, Serena Mathis. I was wondering if I could start seeing you again once a week like before," she began.
Andrew chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. 'This is a conflict of interest. She can't be my patient while Darien is my friend,' he thought. "I'm sorry, Serena, but I've got a full load right now and I won't be able to take in any more patients. However, I'll be happy to refer you to another therapist."
"That's okay. Thanks anyway, Dr. Eisner." Serena hung up before he could say another word.
Dr. Eisner had been her last hope of having someone to talk to who was in a neutral corner. She tucked her cell phone back in her purse and walked out the front door past Melvin, brushing tears away from her face. She ran to the side of the house until she got to the tree she hid behind when she was spying on Darien and the woman he slept with the day after she moved in. She wept bitterly into her hands, her sobs wracking her whole body. She started when she felt a hand touch her shoulder and looked up to see Melvin, concern marring his features.
"Sere, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.
"Aren't you afraid of being seen with me? I am, after all, the lowest member of the caste system, according to Mrs. Shields and her son. You should get out of here before you get in trouble for talking to me," she replied angrily.
"Mrs. Shields may employ me, but she doesn't dictate who my friends are. Now why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked gently, sitting down beside her.
Like a dam had broken in her heart, Serena found herself pouring out her troubles to Melvin until she couldn't speak anymore. She was grateful to Melvin for not interrupting her, waiting until the end before he chipped in his two cents.
"There now, don't you feel better?" he asked. Serena nodded her head and he took it as a sign for him to continue. "I don't know what to tell you, other than to continue doing what you've been doing so far. They'll come around eventually. May I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why did you name her Isabella? Is that a relative of yours or something?" he asked, hoping to get her mind away from her dilemma.
Serena smiled the first true smile since she was forced to come there. "No, I don't even know any Isabellas. It's actually kinda corny but I made it up late at night when I was still pregnant and I felt her kicking me non-stop. I started writing a poem describing everything that my daughter meant to me and I just formed her name from all the adjectives I used."
"What were they?" Melvin asked.
"I wrote that she was my inspiration, my strength, my angel. She would be beautiful, my everything, my love, my life, always. Corny, isn't it?" Melvin smiled and shook his head.
"I think it's beautiful. Her name is an acronym of everything she is." Serena beamed, happy to share her private thoughts with somebody who understood. 'I used to think that was Darien.'
"I've never told anybody that before," she confided. "Everyone assumes I just got her name from a baby book." The two friends rose from their spots and dusted themselves off before going back to the house, Serena to her room, and Melvin to his duties.
From behind another tree, Darien stepped out with a sleeping baby in his arms. He had been out for a walk when he came upon Serena and Melvin sitting under the tree, talking. He was too far away to hear what Serena was telling him, but from her tears, he deduced that she was telling him her sob story. When he got closer, he heard Melvin ask the origin of Isabella's name, something he had often wondered himself. He felt an insane rush of jealousy when he heard her tell him that she had never told anybody the significance of his daughter's name before. He looked down at his daughter's sleeping face. 'She's right. Isabella is all those things and more.'
********************************
Before Serena knew it, Christmas was just one week away and still Darien and his mother treated her like a squatter in their house. Finally, she decided to pull Darien aside one day to have a little talk with him.
"What is this about, Serena?" Darien asked irritably.
"Well, Christmas is coming so I was wondering if we could hold a truce just until the holidays are over. For Isabella's sake," she added, not mentioning that it would be for hers as well.
"Fine. Is that all?" he asked over politely. Serena nodded her head and he left the room.
Two days before Christmas, Candace told them that it was time to take the family Christmas photo. She had a professional photographer set up his equipment in the family room, facing the couch where the photo was to be taken. "Okay, now. Time for the family to sit down," she announced.
Serena stepped forward to fix Isabella's dress when Candace stretched out an arm to stop her. "I _said_ family, and the last time I checked, you aren't part of it." Darien felt pity for Serena, who was still on the receiving end of his mother's barbs, and moved to defend her. 'Mom has gone too far this time.'
"Believe me, from what I've seen, I wouldn't want to be a part of this family," she snapped. "I was just fixing my daughter's dress but since you like to be in control of everything around you, I'll just let you do it yourself. Darien, when you're done with this photo shoot for the 'Perfect Family' poster, could you kindly bring Isabella up to the nursery and put her down for a nap? I'll be over at Amy's to deliver their gifts."
When Serena was gone, the photographer awkwardly cleared his throat and shyly asked them to sit down on the couch. Candace was in the middle holding the baby, with Darien standing behind her and Walter sitting beside her. The poor photographer wanted to ask them to smile, but upon hearing Darien's growl of "just get on with it!" thought it wise to just take the picture and leave. 'The girl was right. Who would want to be part of this family?' he thought privately.
***************************
Serena wearily trudged up the stairs, recalling the farce that they all put on that morning when they were opening their gifts. They all sat around awkwardly around the tree, passing out gifts and pretending to be interested in what was happening around them. Serena took pictures of Isabella with her father and grandparents, documenting her first Christmas in every detail.
She didn't know what to get them, or if she should at all, but good manners dictated she should at least buy her hosts something for the holiday, so she opted to buy them gifts on behalf of her daughter. For Darien, she bought a pair of leather gloves that he could use when he was working with the horses. She bought a silver broach of two baby feet for Candace and a "Number 1 Grandpa" t-shirt for Walter, which he proudly wore for the rest of the day. She signed their cards under Isabella's name.
She hadn't been expecting anything from them and wasn't surprised by what she received. Darien had given her a hundred dollar gift certificate to JC Penny and Candace had given her a subscription to a parenting magazine, leading her to wonder if this was a commentary on her parenting skills. Walter had given her an antique gold locket with Isabella's picture inside.
She was on her way to her room to call her family when she heard Melvin call her from the bottom of the stairs. She ran back down and greeted him with a friendly hug. He shyly thrust a small package wrapped in gold paper and tied with a red bow. Serena eagerly tore into the gift to reveal a snow globe with a mother holding her baby inside.
"You told me that you would miss the snow during Christmas so I got you the next best thing," he said. Serena felt tears in her eyes as she thanked him for the wonderful gift.
"I can't believe you remembered." She took out a small package from her pocket and gave it to Melvin. His eyes lit up when he saw the pocket watch she had given him. "Just like Sherlock Holmes, your hero," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Now get out of here so you can spend the day with your family."
She watched as he waved goodbye from his car, then turned to go to her room, bumping into someone directly behind her. "Darien," she said, "what are you doing standing so close to me?"
"Who gave you that?" he asked, ignoring her question and pointing to the snow globe.
"Melvin did. It's one of the best presents I've ever gotten," she replied, letting her guard down in light of their truce, which was rapidly coming to an end.
Darien once again felt that rush of jealousy boiling in his veins at the mention of Melvin's name. "Oh? Are you planning on seducing him too, like you did me?" he asked nastily. He watched Serena's face turn from shock to sorrow to anger within a span of five seconds.
Then, without warning, she reached up and slapped him hard across the face. Darien looked at her, standing defiantly in front of him, holding her snow globe protectively in one hand. As if he was watching everything happening in slow motion, he saw his hand jerk out and knock the snow globe out of her grasp, sending it crashing to the floor in an explosion of glass and water.
Serena backed away from him, afraid for herself and for him. "You're a monster," she whispered, unable to control the trembling in her voice. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I..." she bit her tongue to stop herself from saying 'loved.' She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "I can't believe you were the man I thought I knew." Pushing past him, she ran up the stairs and locked herself in her room, crying herself to sleep.
****************************
Serena was awakened by Isabella's crying. She groggily rolled over in her bed and noted that she was still wearing the same clothes she had on that day. 'Two a.m.' she thought as she hurriedly opened the door to Isabella's room to see what the fuss was about.
Upon seeing her, Isabella immediately stopped crying and raised her arms up, wanting to be held. Despite her fatigue, Serena found herself feeling refreshed and happy. "You just wanted some company, eh little one?" she asked softly as she lifted her out of the crib and into her arms. She took her to the rocking chair and sat down. "I guess we're both lonely, you and I. Don't worry, sweetie. As long as I'm here, you don't ever have to be afraid of being alone."
Isabella burrowed her face into her mother's shoulder and looked at her entreatingly. "All right, honey. I'll sing it for you again," Serena said, recognizing that look in her daughter's face immediately.
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,
All through the night;
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night;
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night.
"While the moon her watch is keeping,
All through the night;
While the weary world is sleeping,
All through the night;
O'er thy spirit gently stealing,
Visions of delight revealing,
Breathes a pure and holy feeling,
All through the night.
"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,
All through the night;
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night;
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night."
She watched as Isabella drifted off to sleep during her song and snuggled her closer to her chest. "I know this must be very confusing for you, honey," Serena said quietly when she was sure Isabella had fallen asleep. "It's confusing for me too. I grew up with a mommy and daddy who loved each other very much. I just want you to know that even though you will see your friends living in that kind of family, with a mommy and daddy who love each other, that doesn't mean your family is wrong or bad. Every family is different. Just because your daddy doesn't love your mommy, doesn't mean he loves you any less. I want you to remember that. Your daddy loves you very much and so do I and your grandparents."
Isabella stirred in her arms and Serena stopped talking in fear that she woke up, but she just batted her fist in the air before falling asleep again. "I loved him once, you know," she confided in her sleeping baby. "But now we're just too different and too hurt to forgive each other. I have to admit that it hurts me when I see your father being so hostile to me because I know I made him that way. I turned the man I loved into a man that I can't stand to be around because I wanted to punish him for hurting me the way he did a year ago." She laughed resentfully. "I guess the shoe's on the other foot now, huh?" Getting no response from Isabella, not that she was expecting one, she began to hum the song again, until she fell asleep with Isabella safely tucked in her arms.
In his room, Darien turned over and stared at the baby monitor on his nightstand. He had woken up when Isabella started crying and was about to get up to comfort her, when he heard Serena's voice in the room. He hadn't seen her since their violent encounter by the front door, and he had been waiting all day for her to come out so he could apologize. When night rolled around and still she hadn't opened her door, he declared it a lost cause and went into his room for the night.
His heart twisted when he heard Serena reassuring his daughter that he loved her no matter what happened between them. He hadn't meant to shatter the snow globe but he had been so frustrated with their situation that it felt satisfying to just reach out and break something. Unfortunately, that something happened to be her snow globe. The frightened look in her eyes brought him back to reality, but before he could apologize for what he did, she was already halfway up the stairs, running away once again.
Running away from him.
She had called him a monster and she was right. The way he had been treating her since she came back put him to shame when he reflected back on it that afternoon. He always started all the arguments and insults, leading to anger and resentment from her. Never once had she been the one to instigate an argument; in fact, she was the one who forced him to call a truce for the sake of their daughter. He had no doubt it was also for her sake, but still.
He had agonized over what he should get for her when it suddenly occurred to him that she probably wouldn't get him anything, anyway. Not that he blamed her. So he got her a gift that was meant to say, "See, I didn't forget you, but I didn't spend too much time thinking about you either." He was shocked when he not only got a gift from Serena, but that it was the gloves he had wanted to order but never had the time. Then his mother gave her the subscription to 'Today's Parenting.' He wanted to die. Surely she would have blown up about that, but no. She accepted the gift graciously and handed Candace a gift of her own. It never ceased to amaze him how forgiving she could be.
When he heard Serena admit that she loved him before, his heart skipped a beat. 'It's not too late!' he thought. 'I can win her back.' Then he heard her blame herself for making him turn out that way and his heart broke for her. 'No, Serena. I made myself this way. I wouldn't listen to your reasons for leaving and instead of trying to unite us as a family, I pushed you away until you had nowhere else to turn to, not even the staff. How could I let it get this way?'
He rolled over and punched the pillow, imagining it was himself that he was hitting. 'How could I hurt the one person I've ever loved like that? I don't deserve to have her be the mother of my child. I promise to apologize to you tomorrow, Sere. I just hope it's not too late.'
"Tomorrow," he said determinedly before falling asleep, dreaming of Serena and his daughter, the family he'd always wanted.
*******************************************************
Once again, Happy Birthday Mel! Sorry it's a little late! July 5, 2002.
