Chapter Two

This is Like, Totally Unreal

It was evening back at the Utah Plaines, and the little Hobbiraptors were getting drunk down at The Green Spielberg Inn.

Dork and Peepin were singing the infamous "Incoherent song":

"La blah lei iw wow ow derins gak kal la la la dl fl el wla ldhj.hf."

Fiona danced in a circle, merrily around the table.

"I've heard that they're strange folk hangin' 'round our lands, and watchin' us." Gader Oh'Gee said to his old buddies.

"All poppycock if you ask me. Just some ol' wives tales about dar bein' a war acoming."

"What about what the Mad Bad Bagginse used to tell us." Another said.

"Bah, she was cracked. And young Fiona here, she's cracking."

"And proud of it! Proud, proud! You here that! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Fiona yelled, scaring some of Green Spielberg Inn's other customers.

"I say if you keep your nose out of trouble, no trouble will come to you." Gader said.

"Okay." Fiona answered, pondering where that last remark had entered his mind, "Got it. Right, Stan? Stan..?"

Stan was too busy watching Rosemary bend over.

"Stan! Stop drooling and answer me!" Fiona said to him.

"Huh, what?" Stan said, coming back to reality.

"Am I proud of cracking?" Fiona asked.

"Duh, I don't know, Missis Fiona." Stan replied, "Do you like to be cracked like a vase?"

"NO, NO, NO! Not that kind of cracked, I mean cracked as in crazy." She told him.

"Oh, yeah, you are proud of being cracked." Stan-dumb answered.

"Thank you." Fiona said, calming down, she reminded herself that Stan- dumb was dropped and landed on his head when he was a baby.

"I guess we'll get going. Its almost closing time." Fiona said.

"But, I want to watch Rosemary some more." Stan said.

"Yes, I know, but you've over-watched her tonight, remember, your trying to go on a 'watching-Rosemary diet'." Fiona replied.

"Oh, yeah, but I want to watch something." Stan replied.

"You can watch from under the Western window."

"Okay."

They left the Spielberg Inn.

"Good night, Stan." Fiona said, going up to her house.

Stan, drunkenly, stumbled along the road.

When Fiona entered her house, she sensed something was amiss. Her Playraptor collection had been moved.

"Well, who was in here." She asked herself.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her from behind. Acting on instinct, she did a Judo move on the figure and flung whoever it was into the wall. Stan suddenly appears, wearing a cheerleader outfit, and starts chanting: "Fiona, Fiona, she's our gal, and if she can't do it, then no can."

"Wait, wait. It's me: Goondolt. You fool of Hobbiraptor!" the figure shouted.

"Oops, sorry." Fiona said, then notices Stan in drag for the first time, "Oh, my gosh!"

"What? I thought it was stylish for this situation." Stan said, then left, crying.

"Is it secret, is it safe?" Goondolt asked.

"What is supposed to be secret and safe?" Fiona asked, confused.

"The Embryo."

"Oh, that. Um, I hid it somewhere seventeen years ago when you left, and have no idea where it is now." Fiona said.

"What! I really am a goon-dolt, leaving it in your claws." Goondolt yelled, then the Embryo fell out of its hiding place.

"Oh, there it is." Fiona said, relieved that she wouldn't be turned into something unnatural.

"Good, there it is." Goondolt said, then picked it up with some pliers. And tossed it into the fireplace.

"What are you doing?" Fiona asked.

"Goondolt retrieved it from the fireplace and gave it to Fiona.

"Can you see anything on it?" he asked.

"No, why." She asked, then the letters appeared on the Embryo, "No, wait. There is something. Its some form of Jibberish, I can't read it."

"There are few who can." Goondolt replied, "It is the language of Biosyn that I will not dare utter here."

"Biosyn?" Fiona asked, curiously.

"In the common tongue, it reads: "One Embryo to hatch them all, One Embryo to collect them, One Embryo to bring them all and into Idiocy, tie the knot."

A little later, they were at Fiona's dining table.

"This is the One Embryo, laid by the Dark Lord Dodgeson. For years it was dormant in Raptor Red's keeping, but no more Fiona. The Embryo has awakened, its heard it master's call."

"But, Dodgeson was destroyed, he was destroyed." Fiona said, worriedly.

"No, Fiona, his spirit remained here. His Computer-Geeks have multiplied, and his Corporation Biosyn is rebuilt. He is seeking it, seeking it. All his thoughts are bent on it. Fiona, he must never find it."

"Right, we'll fry it, or boil, then eat. Then, he'll never find it." Fiona said.

"My dear Fiona, it cannot be destroyed by anything we have here." Goondolt told her.

"Well, we'll hide it, its not like Dodgeson's going to come knocking on my door for it, is he?" Fiona said, smiling, then saw the look on Goondolt's face, then asked with concern: " Is he Goondolt?"

"Possibly." Goondolt replied.

"Then.does anyone else know its here?" Fiona asked.

"Yes, the creature, Gallstone knew, and he was captured. Then, tortured until he talked."

"Then, you must take it, Goonbolt."

"No, Fiona. I cannot take it, I don't know where it's been, and it smells, besides." Goondolt replied.

"What must I do?" Fiona asked.

To Be Continued.