Chapter Three
Of Embryos and Stalkers
"You must leave, and leave quickly." Goondolt told Fiona as they packed up her stuff.
"Where will little-old me go?" Fiona asked.
"Get out of Utah, make for the Village of Flees." Goondolt answered.
"And the Embryo will be away from Dodgeson's hands there?"
"Your looking at me for answers, I'm just making this up as we go along!" Goondolt said.
"Oh, well, I make my across the countryside, easily enough." Fiona said.
"My dear little Hobbiraptor, your kind are truly amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in an hour, and even after a couple of hours, they can still surprise you." Goondolt said.
Suddenly, the grass under the window started rustling.
"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Fiona cried, "You can come out already Stan- dumb."
Goondolt looked at her questioningly.
"He is trying to get out of the habit of stalking Rosemary, and I am acting as his Rosemary-Patch." She told Goondolt, who stood there, stunned.
Stan climbed in through the window.
"Can I come with you, Missis Fiona?" Stan asked, pleadingly, "I really want to come."
"I don't know, who will look after my gardens?" Fiona asked.
Stan pleaded with his master for two more hours.
"Oh, please, Fiona. I want to come and see the outside world!" he said.
"Well, okay, but as long as you don't wonder off in any random direction and getting yourself lost, as you usually tend to do." Fiona told him.
"Oh, oh, I promise to be good, I promise!" Stan yelled, wagging his tail.
"Right, well.we best better be off before any of Dodgeson's spies invade Utah." Goondolt said, staring at Stan-dumb in a strange manner.
They managed to get out of Slobbiton, easily enough. When they reached the woods, Goondolt turned to the duo.
"Now, be careful, both of you. The Dark Lord has many peeping-toms, in his service, grubs, snubs, scrubs, dweebies, dickheads, geeks, jocks, mutts, sluts, putts, and worst of all: fangirls." Goondolt told the two.
Goondolt kneeled in front of Fiona in order to make eye contact, "Is it safe?" he asked.
Fiona took her hand to her pocket to feel for the Embryo, "Yes, it is safe." She replied.
"Good." Goondolt replied, "Never use it, fore the Mischelaneous Goons of Dodgeson will be draw to its stench. It wants be found."
With that, Goondolt got on his horse.
"Where are you going?" Stan asked.
"To see the head of my order, he is wise, powerful, and there is no reason not to trust him. I will meet you in Flees" Goondolt said, confidently.
Then, he road off into the distance on his horse.
"What have I gotten myself into Missis Fiona?" Stan asked.
"Well, what did you overhear during our discussion?" Fiona asked.
"Nothing important.that is, I heard a lot about an icky, old Embryo, an evil businessman, and something about World War Three." Stan said to her.
"There you go. Come on." Fiona said.
They set off together, and soon, they were in a cornfield, where Stan finally began to chicken out.
"This is it." He said.
"What is it?" Fiona asked.
"If I take one more step, I will have gone further away from home that I've ever been before. And that means I can't spy onRosemary."
"Oh, Stan, stop being so pussy-whipped and come on." Fiona said.
"I don't want to." He answered.
"I'll give you a cookie."
"Okay." Stan replied, excitedly, "Yay! A cookie!"
Fiona gave him the cookie, but quite reluctantly, since he had eaten almost everything else.
Meanwhile, Goondolt hurried to Isengoat, as fast as his horse would carry him.
Suddenly, a voice is heard. It is sayng: "Smoke rises from the East, and its not from Ben Ladan's fireworks, and Goondolt the Pink rides to Isengoat, seeking my council."
Goondolt arrives in Isengoat, and there, a man dressed in white, awaits him.
"For that is why you have come, is it not, my old friend, Goondolt. You can trust me completely." The man said.
"Sorehead." Goondolt said, bowing.
"Come, let us walk in the walk gardens where anyone may be hiding in the bushes and trees, waiting to ease-drop on whatever we say out-loud to each-other." Sorehead offered.
"Sounds good to me, Heady." Goondolt said.
"That's Headley, NO, I mean, that's Sorehead. Why do you always do that?" Sorehead scowled, deeply annoyed.
"Because, it is always a good laugh watching you momentarily think your Harvey Koreman." Goondolt replied.
"You will get yours' for that joke someday, Goondolt." Sorehead said, pouting, "Anyway, what have you to report."
"Oh, yes, I have found the Embryo of power." Goondolt replied.
"Really, where is it? Do you have it!" Sorehead said, eagerly.
"No, it is safely in the hands Fiona Bagginse, I have the upmost confidence in that girl, that she will not mess up in any way, what-so- ever." Goondolt said, very confidently.
"I see." Sorehead said, remembering the disastrous results from the last time Goondolt sounded so confident.
"How lond did it take you to figure out that it was the One?" Sorehead asked.
"One hundred years it was right under my nose." Goondolt replied.
"I see, you did not have the wits to see it, the Hobbiraptors leaf, has." Sorehead started.
"Yes, yes, I know. 'It has clearly slowed my mind.' I know." Goondolt said, "There is silver-lining, though. We have time to defeat Dodgeson if we do a better job at acting than Elijah Wood did in, "The Two Towers".
"TIME! What time do you think we have?" Sorehead asked.
"Well.Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31 except February with 28, or 29, depending on the case, and of course, there's."
"SHUT UP! Come with me and I'll show you." Sorehead interrupted Goondolt.
They both went into Sorehead's tower, and what a pain in the buttocks climb it was.
"Now, I think you will find we're very short on time." Sorehead started to say, but paused. He just then noticed the absence of Goondolt.
He peered down the staircase, and saw Goondolt catching his breath, several stories down.
"I'll be up in a minute." Goondolt called, breathlessly.
"Oh, sure, when they were giving out human bodies for us Istari to inhabit, I had to be the last one in line and wound up with this old man's body, and was expected to get around easily with this. That bastard, Valinor." Goondolt muttered under his breath.
A few hours later, Goondolt finally managed to scour the staircase.
"Now what were you going to tell me." Goondolt asked.
"Nothing." Sorehead cries out, surprised, he had something behind his back.
"What's that you have behind your back." Goondolt asked.
"Nothing." Sorehead answered, rolling his eyes, innocently.
"If it's nothing, why can't you show it to me?" Goondolt asked.
"Its none of your concern." Sorehead scowled.
"I want to see it." Gondolt said, and lunged at Sorehead. They wrestled on the ground for several minutes. Until, Goondolt pinned Sorehead to the ground.
"Let me see it, or I'll cut your hair." Goondolt declared, holding up a pair of scissors.
"Okay, okay, I'll show what it is." Sorehead held it out.
"A snow-globe is dangerous tool Sorehead." Goondolt told his old friend.
"Why?" Sorehead asked as he pushed Goondolt off him and made his way to his throne, "Why should we be afraid to use it."
"They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing globes, we do not know, who else may be out peeping on someone." Goondolt said, taking the globe from Sorehead, and placing it on a stand, then covering it with a cloth.
"Now, to get down to business. We have to alert all the Free Park owners of this renewed threat." Goondolt exclaimed.
Goondolt starting to take his leave, but when got to the elevators, they wouldn't open.
"What new devilry is this?" he asked himself.
"You honestly did not think that a hobbiraptor could contend with the Embryo of Dodgeson, there are none who can." Sorehead said, entering the lobby.
"What are you saying, you're breaking up with me?" Goondolt asked, horrified.
"Goondolt! There never was an us! Get that into your skull, we were never a couple, for the last time!" Sorehead yelled, "What I am trying to say is, we must join with Dodgeson. It would be wise, my friend."
"Tell me, friend." Goondolt asked, "When Sorehead the Thickheaded, abandon reason for loonieness?"
Sorehead could take no more, at this point, "Arg!!!" he shouted and knocked Goondolt against the wall with his scepter.
Goondolt retaliated and forced Sorehead to do bad ballet dance with his own staff.
When he was through torturing Sorehead, he said, "That will teach to knock me the wall."
"Oh, I have just barely begun to fight just like those old biddies at the end of "Willow". Sore declared, and forced to Goondolt to do a very bad rap routine.
"Oh, you'll pay for that." Goondolt said, and lunged at Sorehead.
What happens next? Just picture any one of scenes where the old men quarrel in the "Grumpy Old Men" movies.
Finally, Sorehead takes Goondolt's staff.
"Aha! I have you now, say uncle." Sorehead ordered.
"Aunt." Goondolt replied.
"Why you little.you think this over on the roof in that case." Sorehead growled, flames literally shooting from his eyes.
"Fine!" Goondolt said, pouting, and made his way the roof, "I'll show you, I'll tell Bakker on you!"
Back in Utah, Stan-Dumb was walking along in another cornfield.
"Jeez, these fields just go and go, like my Dad when he gives me, "When I was your age", lectures." Stan muttered to himself.
He entered the lane between rows, and noticed Fiona was gone.
"Fiona! Fiona. Misses Fiona!" he cried.
"What is it, Stan?" Fiona asked, coming into view.
"I thought I lost you."
"Huh?" Fiona said.
"It was something Goondolt said." Stan said.
"What did he say?" Fiona asked.
"Count your blessings, keep them sweet." Stan answered.
Fiona wasn't sure how that had made its' way into context with their current situation, but thought better of the notion of asking.
Suddenly, something collided with her. Then, something ran into Stan. It was Dork and Peepin.
"Fiona?" Peepin said in surprise, "Hey, Dork, its Fiona."
"Hello, Fiona!" Dork said, excitedly.
Get off her!" Stan said as he pulled Peepin off her, "While we're on this trip, she's my puppy."
"What!" Fiona asked.
"Er.I mean, best friend." Stan said.
"Anyway, what are you doing with some of Farmer Slug's Crack-Weed?" Fiona asked, crossly.
"Well." Dork began, but was interrupted by the sounds of Farmer Slug approaching.
"Come on out here, you little varmints, I'll beat you till you can't heal anymore!" he yelled, "Come here! I'll break your necks!"
"Very disincentive." Fiona said, then took off running with Dork and Peepin.
"I don't know what your afraid of, its just Farmer Slug." Stan said, follow along behind them.
"That's like saying, 'It's only Hurricane Andrew, and its coming this way'." Dork told him.
"Oh." Stan said.
"Stop!" Peepin said, as they reached a ravine.
"What?" the other asked, right before running into him, sending them all rolling down it.
"Ow." Fiona said, as she pushed an unconscious Stan off her, she had landed on uneven ground, and then Stan had landed on her.
"Trust a Hard-Cider and a Fool." Fiona said aloud.
"What?" Dork said, "That was a detour, a shortcut."
"A shortcut to what?" Fiona asked.
"Compy's!" Peepin replied, lunging at the little creatures.
"Compy's!" Stan and Dork cried, and did little fangirl squeals, then joined Peepin in in collecting them.
"Weirdo's." Fiona said to herself.
"Huh, what." The author asked upon hearing what people usually called him.
"Oh, nothing." Fiona said, "They're weird."
"They're supposed to be weird, I made them that way." Drew L. replied.
"Oh." Fiona said.
"You better be getting back to the story, this chapter is very long." Drew L. added before leaving.
"Right." Fiona replied, then started looking very nervous.
"Think we should off the road." She said to her comrades, who were too busy, catching little Compy's.
Suddenly, a little ways down the road, the clichéd SFX camera shot from a number of Al Hitchcock movies is used, and it frightens Fiona.
"Get off the road, quit!" she shouted to them, this time they heard her and followed her.
They hid behind little twig, in hopes of staying out of sight.
"How many did you catch?" Peepin asked.
A dark figure on black horse comes into view. It stops near the spot where the Hobbiraptors are hiding. It gets off its steed. Then, the thing gets on all fours, and starts sniffing at the ground.
"It looks like he's in the wrong fiction." Peppin whispered, "Shouldn't he be in "A Christmas Carol", showing up at Scrooge's place? Showing Scrooge his dark future."
"Or maybe it's the Grim Reaper? I don't wanna die!" Dork said, frightened.
"Whatever it is. It's coming this way." Fiona said, suddenly, she felt some sort of power come over her. Despite all of Goondolt's warnings not to use it, 'it use' something inside her said, forget him, and took the Embryo out of her pocket.
"Ew. What are you holding?" Peepin asked, seeing the Embryo.
"Missis Fiona, stop!" Stan whispered, and whacked her hands, so that she couldn't use the Embryo.
Dork tossed his pack over to some bushes, and the creature followed the sound of it landing.
With that, the four Hobbiraptors took off running.
"What was that? Was it the Grim Reaper, I don't wana die! I don't wana die!" Dork said, starting to cry.
"Shut up." Stan-Dumb said, rather annoyed, and smacked Dork.
"Ow! You hit me, I'm telling!" Dork wailed.
"What was it looking for?" Peepin asked, "And why didn't it see us, we were pretty obvious behind that twig?"
"It looking to take some poor souls to back to hell with it." Dork cried.
"I think it looking for me." Fiona cut in.
"Why?" Dork asked.
"Well." Fiona said.
"It looks like our little secret is out, Missis Fiona." Stan-Dumb said to her.
"I thought you were in love with Rosemary." Peepin said.
"I am, why?" Stan asked.
"You said, 'Your little secret', and that sounds like you and Fiona have been doing the nasty." Peepin replied.
"I'll have you that Fiona and I have never done a nasty!" Stan replied, indignant.
"That wasn't quite what I meant." Peepin said.
"Enough!" Fiona yelled, "What Stan-Dumb meant by 'our little secret', is that we're carrying something those things want."
"Oh." Peepin said.
"I got it!" Dork said, coming back to reality, "That black rider was looking for something someone was carrying. Right? Did everyone get that?" he said, turning to the movie-goers.
"Boy, you're really Einstein today." Peepin said.
"Really?" Dork asked.
"No." Peepin replied.
"Um, anyone notice how it suddenly became dark?" Stan asked, looking around.
"Come on boys, I'll let you in on what's going on, on the way to the Buckelbelt Ferry." Fiona said to the others.
Something shrieked in the darkness.
"Sounds like Fran Walsh." Peepin declared.
"Yeah, but what are her and Pete Jackson doing out here?" Dork asked.
"Just filming." Mr. Jackson replied.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Gimly's twin?" Fiona asked, upon seeing Peter Jackson.
"No, that's just our director, I thought we had lost a few miles back." Peepin replied.
"Look!" Stan said, pointing to a dark form in the woods.
"Its one of those things." Peepin said.
The thing sat on its horse on the open path, as if sensing something.
"I must get to Flees." Fiona told her friends.
"Right, follow me." Dork said.
He started making his way through the woods towards the Bucklebelt Ferry. They came to another open path. They went decided to cross it as fast as they could, but suddenly, one those cloaked figured came out of nowhere.
"You shall not pass!" it hissed.
"Hey, you stole Goondolt's line for later!" Fiona declared.
"So, do you feel lucky, punk?" it asked.
"You just stole another line."
"Go ahead, make my day."
"You just did it again!"
"Shut up! I'll tell ghost mommy." It cried, and road away.
"Well, that was easy." Fiona said.
To Bo Continued.
Of Embryos and Stalkers
"You must leave, and leave quickly." Goondolt told Fiona as they packed up her stuff.
"Where will little-old me go?" Fiona asked.
"Get out of Utah, make for the Village of Flees." Goondolt answered.
"And the Embryo will be away from Dodgeson's hands there?"
"Your looking at me for answers, I'm just making this up as we go along!" Goondolt said.
"Oh, well, I make my across the countryside, easily enough." Fiona said.
"My dear little Hobbiraptor, your kind are truly amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in an hour, and even after a couple of hours, they can still surprise you." Goondolt said.
Suddenly, the grass under the window started rustling.
"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Fiona cried, "You can come out already Stan- dumb."
Goondolt looked at her questioningly.
"He is trying to get out of the habit of stalking Rosemary, and I am acting as his Rosemary-Patch." She told Goondolt, who stood there, stunned.
Stan climbed in through the window.
"Can I come with you, Missis Fiona?" Stan asked, pleadingly, "I really want to come."
"I don't know, who will look after my gardens?" Fiona asked.
Stan pleaded with his master for two more hours.
"Oh, please, Fiona. I want to come and see the outside world!" he said.
"Well, okay, but as long as you don't wonder off in any random direction and getting yourself lost, as you usually tend to do." Fiona told him.
"Oh, oh, I promise to be good, I promise!" Stan yelled, wagging his tail.
"Right, well.we best better be off before any of Dodgeson's spies invade Utah." Goondolt said, staring at Stan-dumb in a strange manner.
They managed to get out of Slobbiton, easily enough. When they reached the woods, Goondolt turned to the duo.
"Now, be careful, both of you. The Dark Lord has many peeping-toms, in his service, grubs, snubs, scrubs, dweebies, dickheads, geeks, jocks, mutts, sluts, putts, and worst of all: fangirls." Goondolt told the two.
Goondolt kneeled in front of Fiona in order to make eye contact, "Is it safe?" he asked.
Fiona took her hand to her pocket to feel for the Embryo, "Yes, it is safe." She replied.
"Good." Goondolt replied, "Never use it, fore the Mischelaneous Goons of Dodgeson will be draw to its stench. It wants be found."
With that, Goondolt got on his horse.
"Where are you going?" Stan asked.
"To see the head of my order, he is wise, powerful, and there is no reason not to trust him. I will meet you in Flees" Goondolt said, confidently.
Then, he road off into the distance on his horse.
"What have I gotten myself into Missis Fiona?" Stan asked.
"Well, what did you overhear during our discussion?" Fiona asked.
"Nothing important.that is, I heard a lot about an icky, old Embryo, an evil businessman, and something about World War Three." Stan said to her.
"There you go. Come on." Fiona said.
They set off together, and soon, they were in a cornfield, where Stan finally began to chicken out.
"This is it." He said.
"What is it?" Fiona asked.
"If I take one more step, I will have gone further away from home that I've ever been before. And that means I can't spy onRosemary."
"Oh, Stan, stop being so pussy-whipped and come on." Fiona said.
"I don't want to." He answered.
"I'll give you a cookie."
"Okay." Stan replied, excitedly, "Yay! A cookie!"
Fiona gave him the cookie, but quite reluctantly, since he had eaten almost everything else.
Meanwhile, Goondolt hurried to Isengoat, as fast as his horse would carry him.
Suddenly, a voice is heard. It is sayng: "Smoke rises from the East, and its not from Ben Ladan's fireworks, and Goondolt the Pink rides to Isengoat, seeking my council."
Goondolt arrives in Isengoat, and there, a man dressed in white, awaits him.
"For that is why you have come, is it not, my old friend, Goondolt. You can trust me completely." The man said.
"Sorehead." Goondolt said, bowing.
"Come, let us walk in the walk gardens where anyone may be hiding in the bushes and trees, waiting to ease-drop on whatever we say out-loud to each-other." Sorehead offered.
"Sounds good to me, Heady." Goondolt said.
"That's Headley, NO, I mean, that's Sorehead. Why do you always do that?" Sorehead scowled, deeply annoyed.
"Because, it is always a good laugh watching you momentarily think your Harvey Koreman." Goondolt replied.
"You will get yours' for that joke someday, Goondolt." Sorehead said, pouting, "Anyway, what have you to report."
"Oh, yes, I have found the Embryo of power." Goondolt replied.
"Really, where is it? Do you have it!" Sorehead said, eagerly.
"No, it is safely in the hands Fiona Bagginse, I have the upmost confidence in that girl, that she will not mess up in any way, what-so- ever." Goondolt said, very confidently.
"I see." Sorehead said, remembering the disastrous results from the last time Goondolt sounded so confident.
"How lond did it take you to figure out that it was the One?" Sorehead asked.
"One hundred years it was right under my nose." Goondolt replied.
"I see, you did not have the wits to see it, the Hobbiraptors leaf, has." Sorehead started.
"Yes, yes, I know. 'It has clearly slowed my mind.' I know." Goondolt said, "There is silver-lining, though. We have time to defeat Dodgeson if we do a better job at acting than Elijah Wood did in, "The Two Towers".
"TIME! What time do you think we have?" Sorehead asked.
"Well.Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31 except February with 28, or 29, depending on the case, and of course, there's."
"SHUT UP! Come with me and I'll show you." Sorehead interrupted Goondolt.
They both went into Sorehead's tower, and what a pain in the buttocks climb it was.
"Now, I think you will find we're very short on time." Sorehead started to say, but paused. He just then noticed the absence of Goondolt.
He peered down the staircase, and saw Goondolt catching his breath, several stories down.
"I'll be up in a minute." Goondolt called, breathlessly.
"Oh, sure, when they were giving out human bodies for us Istari to inhabit, I had to be the last one in line and wound up with this old man's body, and was expected to get around easily with this. That bastard, Valinor." Goondolt muttered under his breath.
A few hours later, Goondolt finally managed to scour the staircase.
"Now what were you going to tell me." Goondolt asked.
"Nothing." Sorehead cries out, surprised, he had something behind his back.
"What's that you have behind your back." Goondolt asked.
"Nothing." Sorehead answered, rolling his eyes, innocently.
"If it's nothing, why can't you show it to me?" Goondolt asked.
"Its none of your concern." Sorehead scowled.
"I want to see it." Gondolt said, and lunged at Sorehead. They wrestled on the ground for several minutes. Until, Goondolt pinned Sorehead to the ground.
"Let me see it, or I'll cut your hair." Goondolt declared, holding up a pair of scissors.
"Okay, okay, I'll show what it is." Sorehead held it out.
"A snow-globe is dangerous tool Sorehead." Goondolt told his old friend.
"Why?" Sorehead asked as he pushed Goondolt off him and made his way to his throne, "Why should we be afraid to use it."
"They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing globes, we do not know, who else may be out peeping on someone." Goondolt said, taking the globe from Sorehead, and placing it on a stand, then covering it with a cloth.
"Now, to get down to business. We have to alert all the Free Park owners of this renewed threat." Goondolt exclaimed.
Goondolt starting to take his leave, but when got to the elevators, they wouldn't open.
"What new devilry is this?" he asked himself.
"You honestly did not think that a hobbiraptor could contend with the Embryo of Dodgeson, there are none who can." Sorehead said, entering the lobby.
"What are you saying, you're breaking up with me?" Goondolt asked, horrified.
"Goondolt! There never was an us! Get that into your skull, we were never a couple, for the last time!" Sorehead yelled, "What I am trying to say is, we must join with Dodgeson. It would be wise, my friend."
"Tell me, friend." Goondolt asked, "When Sorehead the Thickheaded, abandon reason for loonieness?"
Sorehead could take no more, at this point, "Arg!!!" he shouted and knocked Goondolt against the wall with his scepter.
Goondolt retaliated and forced Sorehead to do bad ballet dance with his own staff.
When he was through torturing Sorehead, he said, "That will teach to knock me the wall."
"Oh, I have just barely begun to fight just like those old biddies at the end of "Willow". Sore declared, and forced to Goondolt to do a very bad rap routine.
"Oh, you'll pay for that." Goondolt said, and lunged at Sorehead.
What happens next? Just picture any one of scenes where the old men quarrel in the "Grumpy Old Men" movies.
Finally, Sorehead takes Goondolt's staff.
"Aha! I have you now, say uncle." Sorehead ordered.
"Aunt." Goondolt replied.
"Why you little.you think this over on the roof in that case." Sorehead growled, flames literally shooting from his eyes.
"Fine!" Goondolt said, pouting, and made his way the roof, "I'll show you, I'll tell Bakker on you!"
Back in Utah, Stan-Dumb was walking along in another cornfield.
"Jeez, these fields just go and go, like my Dad when he gives me, "When I was your age", lectures." Stan muttered to himself.
He entered the lane between rows, and noticed Fiona was gone.
"Fiona! Fiona. Misses Fiona!" he cried.
"What is it, Stan?" Fiona asked, coming into view.
"I thought I lost you."
"Huh?" Fiona said.
"It was something Goondolt said." Stan said.
"What did he say?" Fiona asked.
"Count your blessings, keep them sweet." Stan answered.
Fiona wasn't sure how that had made its' way into context with their current situation, but thought better of the notion of asking.
Suddenly, something collided with her. Then, something ran into Stan. It was Dork and Peepin.
"Fiona?" Peepin said in surprise, "Hey, Dork, its Fiona."
"Hello, Fiona!" Dork said, excitedly.
Get off her!" Stan said as he pulled Peepin off her, "While we're on this trip, she's my puppy."
"What!" Fiona asked.
"Er.I mean, best friend." Stan said.
"Anyway, what are you doing with some of Farmer Slug's Crack-Weed?" Fiona asked, crossly.
"Well." Dork began, but was interrupted by the sounds of Farmer Slug approaching.
"Come on out here, you little varmints, I'll beat you till you can't heal anymore!" he yelled, "Come here! I'll break your necks!"
"Very disincentive." Fiona said, then took off running with Dork and Peepin.
"I don't know what your afraid of, its just Farmer Slug." Stan said, follow along behind them.
"That's like saying, 'It's only Hurricane Andrew, and its coming this way'." Dork told him.
"Oh." Stan said.
"Stop!" Peepin said, as they reached a ravine.
"What?" the other asked, right before running into him, sending them all rolling down it.
"Ow." Fiona said, as she pushed an unconscious Stan off her, she had landed on uneven ground, and then Stan had landed on her.
"Trust a Hard-Cider and a Fool." Fiona said aloud.
"What?" Dork said, "That was a detour, a shortcut."
"A shortcut to what?" Fiona asked.
"Compy's!" Peepin replied, lunging at the little creatures.
"Compy's!" Stan and Dork cried, and did little fangirl squeals, then joined Peepin in in collecting them.
"Weirdo's." Fiona said to herself.
"Huh, what." The author asked upon hearing what people usually called him.
"Oh, nothing." Fiona said, "They're weird."
"They're supposed to be weird, I made them that way." Drew L. replied.
"Oh." Fiona said.
"You better be getting back to the story, this chapter is very long." Drew L. added before leaving.
"Right." Fiona replied, then started looking very nervous.
"Think we should off the road." She said to her comrades, who were too busy, catching little Compy's.
Suddenly, a little ways down the road, the clichéd SFX camera shot from a number of Al Hitchcock movies is used, and it frightens Fiona.
"Get off the road, quit!" she shouted to them, this time they heard her and followed her.
They hid behind little twig, in hopes of staying out of sight.
"How many did you catch?" Peepin asked.
A dark figure on black horse comes into view. It stops near the spot where the Hobbiraptors are hiding. It gets off its steed. Then, the thing gets on all fours, and starts sniffing at the ground.
"It looks like he's in the wrong fiction." Peppin whispered, "Shouldn't he be in "A Christmas Carol", showing up at Scrooge's place? Showing Scrooge his dark future."
"Or maybe it's the Grim Reaper? I don't wanna die!" Dork said, frightened.
"Whatever it is. It's coming this way." Fiona said, suddenly, she felt some sort of power come over her. Despite all of Goondolt's warnings not to use it, 'it use' something inside her said, forget him, and took the Embryo out of her pocket.
"Ew. What are you holding?" Peepin asked, seeing the Embryo.
"Missis Fiona, stop!" Stan whispered, and whacked her hands, so that she couldn't use the Embryo.
Dork tossed his pack over to some bushes, and the creature followed the sound of it landing.
With that, the four Hobbiraptors took off running.
"What was that? Was it the Grim Reaper, I don't wana die! I don't wana die!" Dork said, starting to cry.
"Shut up." Stan-Dumb said, rather annoyed, and smacked Dork.
"Ow! You hit me, I'm telling!" Dork wailed.
"What was it looking for?" Peepin asked, "And why didn't it see us, we were pretty obvious behind that twig?"
"It looking to take some poor souls to back to hell with it." Dork cried.
"I think it looking for me." Fiona cut in.
"Why?" Dork asked.
"Well." Fiona said.
"It looks like our little secret is out, Missis Fiona." Stan-Dumb said to her.
"I thought you were in love with Rosemary." Peepin said.
"I am, why?" Stan asked.
"You said, 'Your little secret', and that sounds like you and Fiona have been doing the nasty." Peepin replied.
"I'll have you that Fiona and I have never done a nasty!" Stan replied, indignant.
"That wasn't quite what I meant." Peepin said.
"Enough!" Fiona yelled, "What Stan-Dumb meant by 'our little secret', is that we're carrying something those things want."
"Oh." Peepin said.
"I got it!" Dork said, coming back to reality, "That black rider was looking for something someone was carrying. Right? Did everyone get that?" he said, turning to the movie-goers.
"Boy, you're really Einstein today." Peepin said.
"Really?" Dork asked.
"No." Peepin replied.
"Um, anyone notice how it suddenly became dark?" Stan asked, looking around.
"Come on boys, I'll let you in on what's going on, on the way to the Buckelbelt Ferry." Fiona said to the others.
Something shrieked in the darkness.
"Sounds like Fran Walsh." Peepin declared.
"Yeah, but what are her and Pete Jackson doing out here?" Dork asked.
"Just filming." Mr. Jackson replied.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Gimly's twin?" Fiona asked, upon seeing Peter Jackson.
"No, that's just our director, I thought we had lost a few miles back." Peepin replied.
"Look!" Stan said, pointing to a dark form in the woods.
"Its one of those things." Peepin said.
The thing sat on its horse on the open path, as if sensing something.
"I must get to Flees." Fiona told her friends.
"Right, follow me." Dork said.
He started making his way through the woods towards the Bucklebelt Ferry. They came to another open path. They went decided to cross it as fast as they could, but suddenly, one those cloaked figured came out of nowhere.
"You shall not pass!" it hissed.
"Hey, you stole Goondolt's line for later!" Fiona declared.
"So, do you feel lucky, punk?" it asked.
"You just stole another line."
"Go ahead, make my day."
"You just did it again!"
"Shut up! I'll tell ghost mommy." It cried, and road away.
"Well, that was easy." Fiona said.
To Bo Continued.
