Author's note: This is my first Harry Potter fic. It does contain spoilers if you haven't read book 5...so be wary. Tell me what you think.
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Remus stood as if rooted to the spot. He simply stared at the veiled archway, the only thought in his mind being, "Sirius", as if he was calling to him telekinetically. However, there was no response. He hadn't come out of the other side of the veil. Of course, he knew he wouldn't have. If only he could have reached him sooner. He could have prevented the whole thing. He hadn't stopped Sirius from leaving his house. He had allowed him to go. It was his fault. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder.
"Come, Remus. He's gone," Kingsley's rough voice echoed slightly in the room, sending a chill down Remus' back.
Reluctantly he turned from the archway and made his way up the stairs, passing a rather flustered Cornelius Fudge on the way. Dumbledore was leading Fudge to the scene, showing him the bound Death Eaters. His frantic, "Good lord, Dumbledore!" was the last thing Remus heard as he passed through the room full of brains spilled on the floor. The students were gone, now. No doubt on their way back to Hogwarts by now.
Even though they had caught Death Eaters and had thwarted Lord Voldemort again, every ounce of Remus was choked with defeat. Neither he nor Kingsley uttered a word as they passed through the exit, down the long hallway, and up the lift. They entered onto the main floor, through the crowd of confused and scared witches and wizards, and returned to number 12 Grimmauld Place through the floo network.
Remus was the first to stumble into the kitchen, and barely had time to move before Kingsley was just behind him. He couldn't have moved properly even if he had wanted to. His every limb was numb; his mind buzzing with accusations, anger, grief…it was all so overpowering. He had lost his last friend. Sirius Black, or Padfoot between friends, was dead. He was the last remaining of the three. Never would he have thought this was his fate. He was always worse off in school…the sick one. Now they were all grown up and he was the last to be alive. He would gladly have traded places with either James or Sirius now. This grief that he felt…the hopelessness…it was eating away at him.
"Remus…you should get some sleep," Kingsley said behind him, trying to lead him by the shoulder.
"Leave me." He said it a little harsher than he had intended, yet Kingsley nodded understandingly and left the kitchen quietly.
Remus stumbled into a chair at the table and buried his head in his hands. He pulled at his hair in frustration, shaking with rage and sadness. He felt like doing something drastic, like hunting down Voldemort himself and ripping him to shreds. Maybe he would die too….
That wouldn't be so bad right now, he thought.
He kept expecting to see Sirius come through the kitchen door, and actually jumped when he heard noises. The kitchen door swung open and Remus almost fell out of his chair. Could it be? Maybe he was still alive...nothing could kill Sirius, after all he'd been through. But it was only Kreacher. The nasty, old house elf was grinning broadly from ear to ear. Remus jumped from his chair in a blind rage and shouted at him, "Get out of this house! I never want to see you again! You traitor! You betrayed him!" He gave the house elf a good kick out the kitchen door and flinched at the sound of its cackling. Anyone who had been asleep in the house must have been awakened by his screaming, but he didn't care. He wasn't thinking properly. The world was spinning about him…he'd lost his best friend, but he refused to believe it in a sense. He kept expecting Sirius' cheery face to appear in the room. And when he did, he'd say something like, "Well that was a close one! Want to have another go?" And then he'd laugh heartily as if nothing had happened.
That was the way it should have been. That was the way it must be.
It will be that way, thought Remus. He sat down again, set his head on the table over his hands, and fell into a fitful sleep.
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Remus stood as if rooted to the spot. He simply stared at the veiled archway, the only thought in his mind being, "Sirius", as if he was calling to him telekinetically. However, there was no response. He hadn't come out of the other side of the veil. Of course, he knew he wouldn't have. If only he could have reached him sooner. He could have prevented the whole thing. He hadn't stopped Sirius from leaving his house. He had allowed him to go. It was his fault. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder.
"Come, Remus. He's gone," Kingsley's rough voice echoed slightly in the room, sending a chill down Remus' back.
Reluctantly he turned from the archway and made his way up the stairs, passing a rather flustered Cornelius Fudge on the way. Dumbledore was leading Fudge to the scene, showing him the bound Death Eaters. His frantic, "Good lord, Dumbledore!" was the last thing Remus heard as he passed through the room full of brains spilled on the floor. The students were gone, now. No doubt on their way back to Hogwarts by now.
Even though they had caught Death Eaters and had thwarted Lord Voldemort again, every ounce of Remus was choked with defeat. Neither he nor Kingsley uttered a word as they passed through the exit, down the long hallway, and up the lift. They entered onto the main floor, through the crowd of confused and scared witches and wizards, and returned to number 12 Grimmauld Place through the floo network.
Remus was the first to stumble into the kitchen, and barely had time to move before Kingsley was just behind him. He couldn't have moved properly even if he had wanted to. His every limb was numb; his mind buzzing with accusations, anger, grief…it was all so overpowering. He had lost his last friend. Sirius Black, or Padfoot between friends, was dead. He was the last remaining of the three. Never would he have thought this was his fate. He was always worse off in school…the sick one. Now they were all grown up and he was the last to be alive. He would gladly have traded places with either James or Sirius now. This grief that he felt…the hopelessness…it was eating away at him.
"Remus…you should get some sleep," Kingsley said behind him, trying to lead him by the shoulder.
"Leave me." He said it a little harsher than he had intended, yet Kingsley nodded understandingly and left the kitchen quietly.
Remus stumbled into a chair at the table and buried his head in his hands. He pulled at his hair in frustration, shaking with rage and sadness. He felt like doing something drastic, like hunting down Voldemort himself and ripping him to shreds. Maybe he would die too….
That wouldn't be so bad right now, he thought.
He kept expecting to see Sirius come through the kitchen door, and actually jumped when he heard noises. The kitchen door swung open and Remus almost fell out of his chair. Could it be? Maybe he was still alive...nothing could kill Sirius, after all he'd been through. But it was only Kreacher. The nasty, old house elf was grinning broadly from ear to ear. Remus jumped from his chair in a blind rage and shouted at him, "Get out of this house! I never want to see you again! You traitor! You betrayed him!" He gave the house elf a good kick out the kitchen door and flinched at the sound of its cackling. Anyone who had been asleep in the house must have been awakened by his screaming, but he didn't care. He wasn't thinking properly. The world was spinning about him…he'd lost his best friend, but he refused to believe it in a sense. He kept expecting Sirius' cheery face to appear in the room. And when he did, he'd say something like, "Well that was a close one! Want to have another go?" And then he'd laugh heartily as if nothing had happened.
That was the way it should have been. That was the way it must be.
It will be that way, thought Remus. He sat down again, set his head on the table over his hands, and fell into a fitful sleep.
