Chapter 5

The next morning, Hook wasn't surprised when he awoke to see Peter was already up.  The boy stood at the window, staring at the waves, babbling happily if incoherently.  Usually he was silent.  Perhaps he liked trying to speak.  "Good morning, Peter," Hook called as he got out of bed.

Peter didn't notice the man, didn't even register the voice behind him.  He looked at the tiny girl standing on the window sill and giggled again.

"Peter, please come back," she said softly.  "We need you."

"Hook," Peter answered, his hand going to his throat as images danced in his mind.  "Hurt Pee-dur."  He shook his head and looked back at the sparkling waves.  He didn't want to think about it.  It couldn't hurt him if he pretended it away.  There was no past, no future; there was only now.  Pretty sparkles.

"He won't hurt you," Tinker Bell insisted, but the boy no longer saw her.  "I can't be really real without you, Peter."

"I promise I won't hurt you again, Peter," Hook said close behind him.  He put his hand on the boy's shoulder, making him turn around to face him.

Peter frowned, not liking how close the dark man was to him.  He touched the scar on his neck again.  "Hook hurt Peedur."

Hook nodded and rolled back the sleeve on his right arm.  He held the arm so the boy could see the thick scar that went all the way around it, where the sword had cut though his limb.  "Peter hurt Hook," he said in reply.

He felt fear, anger, grief.  He saw the dark man laughing at him.  The sword in his hand, cutting through flesh and bone.  Hook's screams.  The red-stuff…. Blood – it was blood.  Being tied up, the steel claw coming down.  The bright pain across his throat.  More blood… darkness… blinding pain as he reached….

"NO!" Peter screamed, thrashing.  "Nonononononono!"  The emptiness inside welled up, no longer to be ignored and he felt like his heart would die.  "Don't kill me again!  Please don't!  It hurts!  It hurts!  Make it stop, make it go away again!"

Hook stared in shock, stunned that Peter was speaking relatively coherently.  He let go of the thrashing boy, allowing Peter to back away to the end of his tether.  When he met the resistance as the chain pulled taut, Peter crumpled against the wall, sobbing and moaning, his arms wrapped around his knees.  I reached him, Hook thought breathlessly.  It upset him, but I reached him.

Peter stared at the floor, seeing the tiny girl again.  She was familiar, he could almost remember, and he didn't like it.  It hurt too much.

"Peter, you're almost there!  Come back, wake up," Tink urged.

"Hurts," Peter moaned.  The aching emptiness in his soul was too much to bear.   He wanted to die, to stay dead.  "Go 'way."

"I know it hurts," Tink said softly.  "I'm so sorry, Peter, we should have taught you.  But you have to let it hurt, and get past the pain.  Stop hiding."

Peter closed his eyes and began humming loudly, covering his ears with his hands.  Unable to see or hear the pixie, he forgot her again and let his mind slip away again into the peaceful numbness.  But the shadow of the sadness stayed with him, and after awhile he grew quiet.  He stared at his hands, feeling a little better when the red stuff wasn't there.

Hook had stayed back, keeping a close eye on the boy as he got dressed.  I'm going to take more time with him.  I reached him once, I can do it again.

"Mornin' Cap'n!" Smee said brightly as he carried the breakfast tray to the desk.  He picked up Peter's bowl of porridge and walked to the boy.

"Let me feed him, Smee," Hook ordered, taking the bowl from his bosun.

"Cap'n?" Smee frowned.  "He don't like ya."

"We've been coddling him, letting him ignore reality.  I reached him; I got him to recognize me for a little while.  It upset him and he withdrew again, but its more progress than we've made before.  Yesterday when he cut himself, he responded to me."  Hook sat on the floor before Peter and watched the boy.  "He has to face me, he has to face reality.  When he gets too upset, you can comfort him, but otherwise I'll deal with him."

"Ya could push 'im away further, Cap'n," Smee warned, not happy with his Captain's decision.

Hook got Peter's attention and put the spoon of gruel in the boy's mouth.  "I'm not a doctor, Smee, so I don't know what's best.  But I know what's gotten results, so I'm pressing ahead with that course."  He gave Peter another mouthful of food.  The boy chewed and swallowed, but he didn't look up or acknowledge the man's presence.