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Three days passed uneventfully. There was to be a meeting of the Order on the next Wednesday and on the Friday following that summer vacation started for students at Hogwarts. That meant the professors that belonged to the Order could come whenever they were needed. Remus couldn't decide whether he liked the idea of more people around him or not. They were beginning to annoy him on account of the sympathetic looks they shot him every time they passed or glanced across the room at him. Sirius' death was taking a toll on everybody. He had been the first Order member to die since Voldemort returned. Everyone was certain he wouldn't be the last. This thought filled everyone with a burning dread in the pits of their stomach every time it was mentioned. No one, however, confessed what they feared. Dumbledore had once told them, "Fear is the only thing that keeps a person from doing something." They didn't want people to think they couldn't do anything for fear.

Remus had gone home the day after Sirius' death, even though he hadn't seen the point. There was no one he could talk to, and nothing really to do. He paced around, straightening his shabby belongings. He looked at his calendar. The next full moon was in two weeks. He needed potion from Severus Snape. Severus' potion kept him from being savage when he turned into a werewolf. It kept him calm so he wouldn't hurt anyone. He looked for some food, but found he had no appetite. He was bored. He sat down on his sofa and began to drift off.

That evening, after a day of wasted time, Remus stepped outside onto his front porch. His home was surrounded by woods. It was safer that way; just in case he didn't take his potion and turned into a werewolf. Less people near him meant less risk. Dealing with his illness was horrible enough, but now there was so much more to deal with. First it was the rise of Lord Voldemort. Then the death of one of his best friends, James Potter. Then it was the news of how his other best friend, Sirius Black had blasted away a street full of muggles and one wizard and been sent to Azkaban. Then he escaped. After that Remus learned he had been innocent the whole time. Last year, Lord Voldemort had come back to power, almost killing Harry Potter. And now...a year later...Voldemort had killed Sirius and Remus was the last of the trio alive. Why him? Why the werewolf? The supposed mass-murder, Sirius Black would have been better left alive. James Potter would have been an even better choice to still be living. This was a question that had been plaguing his mind since the night Sirius died.

Remus looked all about him. Darkness was close to taking over that part of the world, and shadows covered everything. The little bit of moonlight there was splashed the topmost leaves of the tallest trees. A soft breeze blew, sending his light brown and gray hair askew and leaves crunching and tumbling along the forest floor. He listened a bit to nothing but the sound of chirping crickets and the leaves blowing in the wind. The trees made a sort of rushing sound, and for some reason it seemed to bring Remus great comfort. He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of all disturbing thoughts, but in a flash light he saw the face of Sirius just before he fell through the veil. He saw his wide, surprised eyes and the splash of fear in his sunken face. He saw the way his mouth formed a word just before his body fell back in an arc through the veil. The image had gone just as quickly as it had come. Remus was immensely unnerved. He thought about what he had just seen. He hadn't realized it before, but Sirius had said something before he had died.

What could he have said? What was so important that it had to be uttered before his death? Perhaps it was simply a curse of rage at defeat. Maybe he simply blurted out some random word as his mind slipped away into darkness. Whatever he had said, it was now tugging at Remus as though it was of the utmost importance. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Had anyone else? Should he tell Dumbledore about it? Thoughts began tearing through his mind and he became more and more frustrated.

CRACK

A cracking noise came from the depths of the forest. Remus snapped to attention, pulling his wand from his robes. His eyes alertly scanned every inch of space in front of him. The noise had sounded like a cracking twig. Remus stepped down off of his porch onto the leaf strewn ground and began creeping towards the spot the noise had come from with his wand held in front of him like a sword. Somewhere in front of him, he could just barely see the outline of something black and waist height walking toward him: Something walking on four legs. As it came into better view, Remus lowered his wand and gaped open mouth at the animagi form of Sirius. The big black dog stared up at him, and Remus stared back, hardly able to believe it. Sirius! He wasn't dead! Remus grinned broadly and almost cried. But something wasn't right. Sirius' eyes were boring into Remus' in an unfriendly sort of way. The dog crept closer, and without warning launched himself at Remus, knocking him to the ground, growling, ripping, and tearing at his flesh. Remus managed a strangled cry of, "Sirius, no!"

Remus awoke, still screaming and struggling, with a mixture of sweat and tears on his face. His whole body was shaking. It was only a dream. He sat back up on the sofa, running his fingers through his hair and covering his face with them. He screamed into his hands. He hated it. He hated living while they didn't. He should have been relieved that he had just had a dream and that it hadn't been real, but instead all he felt was guilty. Perhaps Sirius was angry at him for living, too.