Mercy

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By: Ryoko

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Track 00:01:00

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"Leave me alone!" Nagi screamed, slamming the bedroom door behind him and propping his body weight against it to block out Crawford's assault, and clasping his hands over his ears to avoid the screaming.

He hadn't done anything, nothing at all, but he was still being screamed at for it. All because the man had a fight with the new client . . . he had to take it out on the kid?

"SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! LEAVE ME ALONE! SHUT UP!" The boy cried, sinking to the floor, while attempting to hold back tears of rage.

He hadn't been able to vent, his anger, for so long, that instead of physically taking it out, he cried. He would never show anyone his tears, so he would have to hold it until the very moment he was alone.

Every single night, he cried. Hurt, tormented by his past, as well as his present. And he was powerless to do anything about it. The pain stabbed through his heart like knives, slicing away his emotions and ripping out every single feeling of happiness he ever thought he could possibly achieve. Not that his life HAD any happiness. The only thing he always wished for was salvation, but that wasn't coming any time soon.

Suddenly, it was quiet. The boy let down his hands, not moving from the door just yet, but listening.

Nothing. It was all so silent . . . Crawford was gone; he wasn't in the house anymore. He couldn't sense Schuldich or Farfarello either, they probably left with him. Just to be sure, Nagi listened closely a second time. Hearing nothing, he lifted himself off of the carpet, stumbling to regain his balance.

Sighing with relief, he wiped his eyes dry with the sleeve of his uniform, and stared blankly at the door.

"I wonder . . . what they would do . . . if I wasn't around . . .?" he whispered to himself, turning to the closet to his left.

All this time he hadn't even bothered to touch the light, nor did he now. The darkness of the room was the only comfort he was going to be getting tonight. Slowly sifting through the few outfits he actually owned, and coming upon what he considered to be pajamas: a t-shirt that was A LOT of sizes too big, and looked like a dress on him.

Snatching a towel from the top of the closet shelves, he disappeared into the small private bathroom.

The hot water spraying mercilessly on him was of little help to soothe him. Usually a hot shower would help, but it just wouldn't right now.

Feeling defeated, the Nagi sank down to the bottom of the stand-up shower stall, holding himself, like a mother would hold her child, to calm them if they were crying. That's all he still COULD do . . . cry . . . that's all he could do to release the pressure building up inside of him.

You're so pathetic Nagi . . . why do you let those bastards badger you like you do? YOU'RE human too! You should have them respect you like one. He growled mentally, letting down the mental blockades he used to keep the others out of his thoughts.

I can't keep fighting like this . . . it hurts . . . if I continue at this rate . . . who knows what'll happen to me? I'm so damn vulnerable . . . I just can't stand it! I can't take it anymore. I have to get away. I have to! TONIGHT!

***

This was such a promise he had to keep.

The boy lay awake in bed, staring blankly at the window, away from the door. Down the hall, he could hear silence. The others had yet to come back, and probably wouldn't until late tomorrow afternoon . . . or whenever Crawford cooled his head again.

At first, Nagi was uneasy about leaving . . . he had no money, not many survival skills left and nobody to turn to. Where could he possibly go? Even THAT was beyond him. After all, since the day Schwartz took him in, he could remember almost nothing on how he survived in that dark world he once lived in, the cruel and cold world he was born in.

Always, he was provided with food, clothing, shelter and companions. Sure, they weren't the BEST that money could buy, but then again, NOTHING, having to do with him, was. At least he HAD them.

Did he want to, now? Did he really want to escape this much?

YES. He DID want to escape, this Hell, that much.

Without another single thought, he threw back the blankets and sat up over the edge of the small bed.

"If you three really need me, as much as you say, to my face, then come and GET me." He growled, reaching into the closet and pulling out a simple outfit of a long-sleeve black shirt and matching black, somewhat baggy, pants, and tugging them on as fast as he could.

"Here goes nothing . . . " he sighed to himself, pulling out a long, black trench coat from the hanger behind his door, and pulling it on.

Sneaking quietly into Crawford's room, he opened the dresser drawer where the man kept his money. Of course, Nagi was the only one that knew this, because it wasn't rare that the boy had to steal money from him for food or clothes. He reached into the jar, grabbing a handful of yen bills and a credit card, and then shoving them into his pocket. Glancing over, he snatched the handgun off of the nightstand next to the bed, dropping that into the trench coat, making sure the safety was on tightly enough.

With less than a sound he made his way down the stairs, slipped on his darker sneakers, and left the building, not planning to return.

***

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