Disclaimer: Bobby and Alex belong to Dick Wolf. The baby belongs to Alex.

In spite of the little incident with the gin 'n tonic and the hot tub (see next to last verse), Bobby did a passable job looking after Eames Jr. and so now...

Summary: Bobby becomes "Mr. Mom"

I have to confess

Your birth caused me distress

For everyone's sake

I'm taking a break

Deak says he needs time to convalesce.

So here I am with a mop

While Eames is being a cop

My intellectual superiority

Trumped by HER job seniority

This "womens' lib" crap has just got to STOP!

From frying pan to abyss

I traded paperwork for this!

Now it's one of MY duties

To launder diapers, knit booties

But it's YOU Eames rewards with a kiss!

Your Mom comes home each day

You and she get to play

But in the middle of the night

When you're screaming in fright

It's my job to sooth your dismay

My weekly poker game

Just isn't the same

Since you are here

There's no gambling or beer

Last week nobody came.

I used to tell perps to freeze

Now I trade recipes

With the Moms in the park

Where I once was a narc

A transition that promotes deep unease.

If you weren't too young

We could have so much fun

Playing Chinese chess;

Making fun of French press

And learning to navigate by the sun.

Kid, no joy's what one gets

When he don't love the Mets

Your family won't give you thanks

For supporting the Yanks

Psst - this shouldn't be construed as a threat!

I've new respect for each Mom

Who gets ALL this stuff done

My latest quandary

Shopping or laundry?

It's a good thing I turned in my gun!

(in reference to the hot tub)

From what Dr. Spock wrote

I thought you would float

Though the details are hazy

I must have been crazy

Next time we'll hire a boat

Am I becoming obtuse?

I don't get Dr. Seuss

Each word he invents

Drives me to lament

My thesaurus just ain't no d@mn use!

Still do you suppose

Any man ever knows

His heart won't be his own

Once he's been shown

Twenty tiny fingers and toes?

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Q: Is Bobby the biological father?

A: Does anyone who watches the show think Bobby would really care?

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