Disclaimer: Bobby and Alex belong to Dick Wolf. The baby belongs to Alex.
In spite of the little incident with the gin 'n tonic and the hot tub (see next to last verse), Bobby did a passable job looking after Eames Jr. and so now...
Summary: Bobby becomes "Mr. Mom"
I have to confess
Your birth caused me distress
For everyone's sake
I'm taking a break
Deak says he needs time to convalesce.
So here I am with a mop
While Eames is being a cop
My intellectual superiority
Trumped by HER job seniority
This "womens' lib" crap has just got to STOP!
From frying pan to abyss
I traded paperwork for this!
Now it's one of MY duties
To launder diapers, knit booties
But it's YOU Eames rewards with a kiss!
Your Mom comes home each day
You and she get to play
But in the middle of the night
When you're screaming in fright
It's my job to sooth your dismay
My weekly poker game
Just isn't the same
Since you are here
There's no gambling or beer
Last week nobody came.
I used to tell perps to freeze
Now I trade recipes
With the Moms in the park
Where I once was a narc
A transition that promotes deep unease.
If you weren't too young
We could have so much fun
Playing Chinese chess;
Making fun of French press
And learning to navigate by the sun.
Kid, no joy's what one gets
When he don't love the Mets
Your family won't give you thanks
For supporting the Yanks
Psst - this shouldn't be construed as a threat!
I've new respect for each Mom
Who gets ALL this stuff done
My latest quandary
Shopping or laundry?
It's a good thing I turned in my gun!
(in reference to the hot tub)
From what Dr. Spock wrote
I thought you would float
Though the details are hazy
I must have been crazy
Next time we'll hire a boat
Am I becoming obtuse?
I don't get Dr. Seuss
Each word he invents
Drives me to lament
My thesaurus just ain't no d@mn use!
Still do you suppose
Any man ever knows
His heart won't be his own
Once he's been shown
Twenty tiny fingers and toes?
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Q: Is Bobby the biological father?
A: Does anyone who watches the show think Bobby would really care?
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