THE BLUES SeeDs
First things first, as you can guess, Final
Fantasy 8 is a trademark of Square while
The Blues Brothers is trademark of
Universal Films, whatever you like it or not,
eh? Now let's get started.
CHAPTER 1:
Sweet & Sour Charity
(Scene #1: Outside Galbadia's D-District Prison.
We see the Estharian ship, the Ragnarok, parked
two yards from the now submerging desert prison.
Standing next to the ship, in a Blues Brothers suit,
tie, sunglasses, and porkpie hat, is Selphie Tilmitt.
Just now, the prison stops sinking and out comes
Quistis Trepe, also in Blues Brothers togs. The ladies
exchange hugs.)
Selphie: Quisty!! Welcome back, sweetie!!
Quistis: Oh, baby doll!! Listen, you got to stay away
from that pepper steak, it's a nightmare....
Selphie: Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer. Well, let's
head over to General Caraway's home.
Quistis: General Caraway?
Selphie: You don't remember? We promised the
General we'd meet up for a meeting.
Quistis: No wonder Rinoa moved out to Timber.
(Quistis and Selphie board the Ragnarok while
She Got The Katy plays in the background.
From there, they take off and fly to Deling
City. But just then, down below, a group
of Galbadian BGH251F2 tanks lumber off, firing
their surface to air weapons.)
Selphie: Oh-oh.....we got company. Hang on.
Quistis: I shoulda stayed in bed.
Selphie: A bit late for that.
(With the BGH251F2s firing their guns, chasing
the Ragnarok before crashing into the big archway
that had been used to trap Sorceress Edea Kramer,
our heroines land near Caraway's house.)
(Scene #2: Moments later, Selphie and Quistis
enter the house and meet before Caraway.)
Caraway: So, how's the pepper steak?
Quistis: Don't ask. So what's on your mind?
Caraway: Dire news to say the least. It seems
that we owe 70,000 gil to Galbadia's Galbadian
Revenue Service--GRS for short--lest Balamb,
Galbadia and Trabia Garden close down.
Selphie: Like I said, Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!
Quistis: Oh, me!! What'll we do?
Caraway: That is where YOU come in. YOU've
got to get 70,000 gil and get it to the main
GRS building here in Deling City.
Selphie: Pfft. How do we get it?
Quistis: Why not gamble till we raise the gil we
need to pay--
Caraway: You out of your minds?!? You want
Jimmy The Greek to turn over in his grave?
Selphie: Never mind. Come on, Quisty,
let's get some insparation for the sake of our
stupid parody.
(Outside Caraway's home is Xu, who greets
the SeeDs.)
Xu: Selphie!! Quistis!! Did you hear the bad news?
Selphie: Yup. There ain't NO WAY we can raise 70,000
gil in time. Even Square's bigwigs can be stingy with
their money.
Quistis: Not to mention the recession we're in now.
Xu (after a pause): Say, why don't you head to
planet Spira an' check out the Yevonites in
the town of Besaid? Their Yevon Fayth
could give you inspiration.
Selphie: Yevon.....could that be in cahoots
with The Great Hyne?
Quistis: Wouldn't hurt.
(Scene #3: Selphie & Quistis rocket off onboard
the Ragnarok, and fly off to the planet Spira.
In moments they're inside the Besaid temple,
where we hear a group of Yevonites singing The
Hymn Of The Fayth.)
The Yevonites:
Ieyui
Nobomeno
Renmiri
Yojuyogo
Hasatekanae
Kutamae
(Suddenly, Quistis starts levitating up in the air,
to Selphie's amazement, before gently landing
back on her feet.)
Quistis: The band......!!
Selphie: WHOO-HOO!! What chuu do, Quisty, turn
into a sorceress?
Quistis: No, but I think....I just reached Nirvana--
an' a solution to raise 70,000 gil to save The
Gardens--do a benefit with our band, The Blues
SeeDs.
Selphie: Booyaka!! But what if our bandmates
don't wanna get back together?
Quistis: THEN we gamble till we win 'nuff gil.
Selphie: An' get in trouble with Jimmy The
Greek?
(Scene #4: The Ragnarok, having come back
from Spira, is flying low over Deling City,
while Selphie's CD player is playing Sam &
Dave's Hold On, I Am Coming, when a squadron
of new Galbadian Thrace class fighter ships
surround them. Right now one of the pilots
talks to the SeeDs via comlink.)
Pilot: Hey, you in the Estharian ship, pull over!!
(The Ragnarok and the fighters land in a local
park; one of the Galbadian soldiers comes out
to meet with Selphie, who's standing outside
the Ragnarok.)
Galbadian Soldier: Hey, stupid, didn't you know
you were flyin' so low over the city?
Selphie: Oop....sorry 'bout that.
Galbadian Soldier: Lemme see your ID.
(Selphie gives the Galbadian a card; the
soldier examines it before giving it back
to the SeeD.)
Galbadian Soldier: Selphie Tilmitt, eh?
Wait here.
(The soldier heads back to his fighter,
just as Selphie turns to Quistis.)
Selphie: Let's ged outa here 'fore
the 'Badians use their UCS.
Quisitis: Say what?
Selphie: The Universal Computer
System.
(While the SeeDs run back in the ship,
the Galbadian soldier is using his onboard
computer in his fighter ship; its screen
now reads: SELPHIE TILMITT. A SeeD
FROM TRABIA GARDEN, NOW IN BALAMB
GARDEN. SUGGEST IMPOUNDING THEM,
OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT. Then the
soldier heads back to the Ragnarok--
which takes off.)
Galbadian Soldier: Hey, come back here!!
(It doesn't take long for the Thrace fighters--
soon to be joined with another phalanx of
BGH251F2s to chase the Ragnarok, and,
just like in The Blues Brothers film, crash
through the shopping section of the city,
crashing through some stores.)
Quistis: Hey, there's some new T-Boards.
Selphie: Remind me to get one for Zell.
(In the end, the Thrace ships try to
block the Ragnarok from the front,
while the BGH251F2s come on
behind. Then, the dragon ship aims
high and rockets up and out, just before
the Galbadians open fire on each other.
Soon, all that remains is several
piles of junk; one smoked Galbadian
soldier staggers out.)
Galbadian Soldier: Seifer ain't goin'
to like that....
(Scene #5: Selphie lands the Ragnarok
behind The Galbadia Hotel, and she
and Quistis come 'round to the front
of the building, unaware that across
the street, in an alleyway, a Laws
rocket antitank weapon at the ready,
is FF7's Vincent Valentine.)
Quistis: You live here?
Selphie: For the moment. First thing
in the--oh, foo, I dropped one of my
Triple Triad cards!!
Quistis: Where'd it go?
(The gals bend down to search for
the card--just as Vincent opens
fire with the launcher which takes
out a chunk of the wall.)
Vincent: Oh, crabapples.
(Vincent hightails it down the alleyway
while the SeeDs, having found the card,
enter the hotel. Inside is Nida.)
Nida: Hey, Selphie!! Did you get me the
new pack of Triple Triad cards?
Selphie: Sure!! Here you go!! (Tosses the
pack to Nida.)
Nida: Thanks.
(The gals approach the hotel desk; behind
it is a woman.)
Selphie: So, any calls today?
Woman: Only one--some blonde dude in an
overcoat came an' asked for you. Said his name
was Seifer Almasy.
Selphie: Did you give 'ol Sorceress Knight a copy
of my address card?
Woman: Yup--just like you told me to; the one
with the address for 327 Electric Avenue.
Selphie: Thanks. (to Quistis) Let's go.
(Scene #6: Inside one of the upper levels of The
Galbadia Hotel, in one of their rooms. Quistis
is sprawled on the bed while Selphie plays a
blues tune on her CD player.)
Quistis: Hey Selphie--did you say that address
was 327 Electric Avenue? It's the address for
the old train station in Fisherman's Horizon.
Selphie: Yup. Works without fail. That dumb 'ol
Galbadian fell for it hook, line an' stinker.
Quistis: You're shrewd. So how do we get the
band back together?
Selphie: Let's see....I know that they were
staying at an hotel in Winhill, so we'll try--
(spots Quistis dozing off on the bed) HEY!!
I chose that bed, an' you're sleepin' on it!!
(Finally, Selphie shrugs and covers her friend
with a blanket before setting on the window
sill, staring out the window.)
Selphie: Parodies suck sometimes.
Next: Chapter 2: Strike Up The Band.
First things first, as you can guess, Final
Fantasy 8 is a trademark of Square while
The Blues Brothers is trademark of
Universal Films, whatever you like it or not,
eh? Now let's get started.
CHAPTER 1:
Sweet & Sour Charity
(Scene #1: Outside Galbadia's D-District Prison.
We see the Estharian ship, the Ragnarok, parked
two yards from the now submerging desert prison.
Standing next to the ship, in a Blues Brothers suit,
tie, sunglasses, and porkpie hat, is Selphie Tilmitt.
Just now, the prison stops sinking and out comes
Quistis Trepe, also in Blues Brothers togs. The ladies
exchange hugs.)
Selphie: Quisty!! Welcome back, sweetie!!
Quistis: Oh, baby doll!! Listen, you got to stay away
from that pepper steak, it's a nightmare....
Selphie: Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer. Well, let's
head over to General Caraway's home.
Quistis: General Caraway?
Selphie: You don't remember? We promised the
General we'd meet up for a meeting.
Quistis: No wonder Rinoa moved out to Timber.
(Quistis and Selphie board the Ragnarok while
She Got The Katy plays in the background.
From there, they take off and fly to Deling
City. But just then, down below, a group
of Galbadian BGH251F2 tanks lumber off, firing
their surface to air weapons.)
Selphie: Oh-oh.....we got company. Hang on.
Quistis: I shoulda stayed in bed.
Selphie: A bit late for that.
(With the BGH251F2s firing their guns, chasing
the Ragnarok before crashing into the big archway
that had been used to trap Sorceress Edea Kramer,
our heroines land near Caraway's house.)
(Scene #2: Moments later, Selphie and Quistis
enter the house and meet before Caraway.)
Caraway: So, how's the pepper steak?
Quistis: Don't ask. So what's on your mind?
Caraway: Dire news to say the least. It seems
that we owe 70,000 gil to Galbadia's Galbadian
Revenue Service--GRS for short--lest Balamb,
Galbadia and Trabia Garden close down.
Selphie: Like I said, Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!
Quistis: Oh, me!! What'll we do?
Caraway: That is where YOU come in. YOU've
got to get 70,000 gil and get it to the main
GRS building here in Deling City.
Selphie: Pfft. How do we get it?
Quistis: Why not gamble till we raise the gil we
need to pay--
Caraway: You out of your minds?!? You want
Jimmy The Greek to turn over in his grave?
Selphie: Never mind. Come on, Quisty,
let's get some insparation for the sake of our
stupid parody.
(Outside Caraway's home is Xu, who greets
the SeeDs.)
Xu: Selphie!! Quistis!! Did you hear the bad news?
Selphie: Yup. There ain't NO WAY we can raise 70,000
gil in time. Even Square's bigwigs can be stingy with
their money.
Quistis: Not to mention the recession we're in now.
Xu (after a pause): Say, why don't you head to
planet Spira an' check out the Yevonites in
the town of Besaid? Their Yevon Fayth
could give you inspiration.
Selphie: Yevon.....could that be in cahoots
with The Great Hyne?
Quistis: Wouldn't hurt.
(Scene #3: Selphie & Quistis rocket off onboard
the Ragnarok, and fly off to the planet Spira.
In moments they're inside the Besaid temple,
where we hear a group of Yevonites singing The
Hymn Of The Fayth.)
The Yevonites:
Ieyui
Nobomeno
Renmiri
Yojuyogo
Hasatekanae
Kutamae
(Suddenly, Quistis starts levitating up in the air,
to Selphie's amazement, before gently landing
back on her feet.)
Quistis: The band......!!
Selphie: WHOO-HOO!! What chuu do, Quisty, turn
into a sorceress?
Quistis: No, but I think....I just reached Nirvana--
an' a solution to raise 70,000 gil to save The
Gardens--do a benefit with our band, The Blues
SeeDs.
Selphie: Booyaka!! But what if our bandmates
don't wanna get back together?
Quistis: THEN we gamble till we win 'nuff gil.
Selphie: An' get in trouble with Jimmy The
Greek?
(Scene #4: The Ragnarok, having come back
from Spira, is flying low over Deling City,
while Selphie's CD player is playing Sam &
Dave's Hold On, I Am Coming, when a squadron
of new Galbadian Thrace class fighter ships
surround them. Right now one of the pilots
talks to the SeeDs via comlink.)
Pilot: Hey, you in the Estharian ship, pull over!!
(The Ragnarok and the fighters land in a local
park; one of the Galbadian soldiers comes out
to meet with Selphie, who's standing outside
the Ragnarok.)
Galbadian Soldier: Hey, stupid, didn't you know
you were flyin' so low over the city?
Selphie: Oop....sorry 'bout that.
Galbadian Soldier: Lemme see your ID.
(Selphie gives the Galbadian a card; the
soldier examines it before giving it back
to the SeeD.)
Galbadian Soldier: Selphie Tilmitt, eh?
Wait here.
(The soldier heads back to his fighter,
just as Selphie turns to Quistis.)
Selphie: Let's ged outa here 'fore
the 'Badians use their UCS.
Quisitis: Say what?
Selphie: The Universal Computer
System.
(While the SeeDs run back in the ship,
the Galbadian soldier is using his onboard
computer in his fighter ship; its screen
now reads: SELPHIE TILMITT. A SeeD
FROM TRABIA GARDEN, NOW IN BALAMB
GARDEN. SUGGEST IMPOUNDING THEM,
OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT. Then the
soldier heads back to the Ragnarok--
which takes off.)
Galbadian Soldier: Hey, come back here!!
(It doesn't take long for the Thrace fighters--
soon to be joined with another phalanx of
BGH251F2s to chase the Ragnarok, and,
just like in The Blues Brothers film, crash
through the shopping section of the city,
crashing through some stores.)
Quistis: Hey, there's some new T-Boards.
Selphie: Remind me to get one for Zell.
(In the end, the Thrace ships try to
block the Ragnarok from the front,
while the BGH251F2s come on
behind. Then, the dragon ship aims
high and rockets up and out, just before
the Galbadians open fire on each other.
Soon, all that remains is several
piles of junk; one smoked Galbadian
soldier staggers out.)
Galbadian Soldier: Seifer ain't goin'
to like that....
(Scene #5: Selphie lands the Ragnarok
behind The Galbadia Hotel, and she
and Quistis come 'round to the front
of the building, unaware that across
the street, in an alleyway, a Laws
rocket antitank weapon at the ready,
is FF7's Vincent Valentine.)
Quistis: You live here?
Selphie: For the moment. First thing
in the--oh, foo, I dropped one of my
Triple Triad cards!!
Quistis: Where'd it go?
(The gals bend down to search for
the card--just as Vincent opens
fire with the launcher which takes
out a chunk of the wall.)
Vincent: Oh, crabapples.
(Vincent hightails it down the alleyway
while the SeeDs, having found the card,
enter the hotel. Inside is Nida.)
Nida: Hey, Selphie!! Did you get me the
new pack of Triple Triad cards?
Selphie: Sure!! Here you go!! (Tosses the
pack to Nida.)
Nida: Thanks.
(The gals approach the hotel desk; behind
it is a woman.)
Selphie: So, any calls today?
Woman: Only one--some blonde dude in an
overcoat came an' asked for you. Said his name
was Seifer Almasy.
Selphie: Did you give 'ol Sorceress Knight a copy
of my address card?
Woman: Yup--just like you told me to; the one
with the address for 327 Electric Avenue.
Selphie: Thanks. (to Quistis) Let's go.
(Scene #6: Inside one of the upper levels of The
Galbadia Hotel, in one of their rooms. Quistis
is sprawled on the bed while Selphie plays a
blues tune on her CD player.)
Quistis: Hey Selphie--did you say that address
was 327 Electric Avenue? It's the address for
the old train station in Fisherman's Horizon.
Selphie: Yup. Works without fail. That dumb 'ol
Galbadian fell for it hook, line an' stinker.
Quistis: You're shrewd. So how do we get the
band back together?
Selphie: Let's see....I know that they were
staying at an hotel in Winhill, so we'll try--
(spots Quistis dozing off on the bed) HEY!!
I chose that bed, an' you're sleepin' on it!!
(Finally, Selphie shrugs and covers her friend
with a blanket before setting on the window
sill, staring out the window.)
Selphie: Parodies suck sometimes.
Next: Chapter 2: Strike Up The Band.
