CHAPTER 5
'Da Big Night

(Scene #19: At Balamb Garden, which is en
route to Esthar. In a steam room, where we
see Quisitis and Selphie, along with Laguna,
all wrapped in towels, on a bench, in the
thick steam.)

Laguna: So-------you want me to arrange a gig
for you so's you can get General Caraway's tax
money. I got to warn you, it ain't easy.

Selphie: What ain't easy?

Laguna: Payin' 4 million gil for repairs on our
Lunar Base after that Lunar Cry demolished
it. Then I owe Kiros and Ward 1200 gil after losin'
to them at Triple Triad.

Quistis: But you're the president of Esthar.
You used to arrange the best gigs for
me an' the rest of The Blues SeeDs, since that
time we once played at Fishermans Horizon.

Laguna: Maybe so, but the truth is, gigs like those,
they're gettin' hard to arrange when it comes to divas,
boy bands an' teen idols dominatin' nearly everything--
everything but Uematsu sama.

Selphie: Does General Caraway know 'bout the affair
you once had with the late Julia Heartily, a.k.a. The
Piano Lady?

Laguna: STOP CALLIN' HER THE PIANO LADY!!!!
(calms down) Uh....you wouldn't be blackmailin' me,
would you?

Quistis: What do you think? (hisses) Laguna, we NEED
that gig....!!

Laguna (after a pause): Maybe there IS a way....The
Estharian Supreme Amphitheater, in The Esthar
Hotel; it seats 806, 000, so that way, you can make
not only the tax money, you can make extra gil on
the side. But I doubt if you can get that many people
in time, much less make that much money.

Selphie: Not if we advertise the SeeD way. You just
make the arrangements, Sir Laguna--we'll do the
rest.

Laguna: Youse got it then--I'll print the posters an' the
tickets. Hop to it then.

Quistis & Selphie: Thanks, Sir Laguna!!

(The two SeeD gals kiss the Estharian prez on
either face cheek before headin out the door;
Cid K., Edea, Ellone and the rest of their fellow
SeeDs--also wrapped in towels--follow them to
the exit.)

(Scene # 20: Balamb, day. We see Xu talking to
a group of children near the town entrance.)

Xu: As you may or may not know, The Blues
SeeDs, a.k.a. Quistis Trepe an' Selphie Tilmitt,
they're doin' their darndest to save all of Balamb,
Galbadia an' Trabia Garden, so do what it takes
to get these posters posted. Good luck.

(Scene # 21: With Fats Domino's I Am Walkin'
playing, the following montage takes place)

(A: One of the children enters The Balamb Diner
and gives a poster to Ma Dincht.)

Child: Can you use that poster? It's a request
from President Laguna.

Ma Dincht: As in the president of Esthar?
Sure.

(After posting the poster on a wall, Ma
Dincht looks up in prayer.)

Ma Dincht: Good luck Zell.

(B: Several people spread the word on
the big show in turn, in different places.)

The Big Bad Rascal: Hurry, hurry, hurry....

The Mother Of The Big Bad Rascal: ....come
one, come all....

Martine: ....tonight at The
Estharian Supreme Amphitheater, in The
Esthar Hotel....

The Shumi Elder: ....where tonight, The Blues
SeeDs........

The Shumi Elder's Attendant: ....Blues Review
will be held........

Watts: ........to benefit Balamb, Trabia and
Galbadia Gardens. Tickets can be bought....

Zone: ....for 20 gil, at all planetary locations
everywhere........

Doc Ondine:.......zo vhatever you do, it'z a
night you muzt NOT mizz!! Be there or
be Zhquare!!

(C: In Fisherman's Horizon, Kiros posts a poster
advertising the event outside his music store.)

Kiros: Laguna.....I got a feelin' you had something to
do with that.

(D: In a bathroom, somewhere in Figaro Castle, on
Terra's planet, Relm spots one of the posters, and
points it out to Terra.)

(E: Somewhere in the sky, a set of stereo speakers
emerges from the underside of the Ragnarok; using
a mike, Selphie calls out the following.)

Selphie: OK, folks, tonight, at The
Estharian Supreme Amphitheater, in The
Esthar Hotel, in downtown Esthar, The
Blues SeeDs Blues Revival is a show you've GOT to see!!
Tickets cost 20 gil at all worldwide locations, so drop what
you're doin', an check out the show of the century!! All
invited....

Quistis: ....and couples get 12% discount.....

Selphie: .....and couples get 12% discount. So all of you, be there or
be Square, er, make that Square Enix, to that effect. That is all.

(End of montage.)

(Scene #22: Inside the Raganrok's bridge. Selphie turns off the mike.)

Selphie: Next stop, Esthar. (Guns the Ragnarok, until 12 seconds
later, a red light flashes.)

Selphie: Oh, foo--we're runnin out of fuel.

Quistis: Another typical plot complication.

(Scene #23: The Galbadia Desert, near a fueling depot. The
Ragnarok lands nearby just as its manager comes out; from there,
Selphie and Quistis head for the nearest pump.)

Manager: Yo, ladies, we're out of fuel.

Quistis: Say what?

Manager: We ran out of fuel. That tank truck that was supposed
to come by an' fill our main tanks is runnn' late. Those Galbadian
fuel companies do it every time with runnin' late on purpose--just to
annoy people like me.

Selphie: Super Duper--

Quistis: --Mega Bummer.

(Scene #24: The Estharian Supreme Amphitheater,
The Esthar Hotel, Esthar, night. Xu and the SeeDs
stand upon the stage before the vast empty hall.)

Zell: What a place....

Irvine: I knew Laguna came through. I always dreamed of playin'
here.

Rinoa: BURRRRRRP!! (blushes) Sorry, it's gas.....guess
I forgot my Rolaids.

Squall: Whatever....

Ellone: Shew, Rinoa, what chuu eatin', fire an brimstone?

(One hour later, thousands of people--not to mention
thousands of Galbadian Soldiers--show up. The outside of
the hotel is surrounded by a thick nest of Galbadians; inside,
we see the outer ring of the hall and the entrances all guarded
by armed Galbadian Soldiers, standing shoulder to shoulder
in an armed radius, ready to trap anyone careless. Nearby, at
one of the tables, is Seifer, along with Raijin and Fujin. Also
near the ring, is Terra and The Returners.)

Seifer (to Raijin): Diet soda? (to Fujin) A diet soda? (To a
nearby waitress) Three diet sodas!!

(Meanwhile, on the stage, Xu peeks from behind the curtain.)

Xu: It's a sellout. We'll knock them dead for sure. But the only
thing is: WHERE IS SELPHIE AN' QUISTIS?!?

Edea: Maybe they had a flat tire.

Cid K. : On a spacecraft like The Ragnarok? Get a clue,
Edea.

Irvine: What a time for Selph to go cheesta chista.

Ellone: That doesn't make sense.

(Scene # 25: The fuel station in The Desert Of Galbadia, night.
Selphie and Quistis stand idle by the fuel pump, when a rental
car pulls up. behind the wheel is FF 10's Tidus.)

Tidus: Hey, ladies. You makin' fuels of yourselves?

Quistis: How can we, whe we ain't got no fuel?

Selphie: An' they say there's no fuel like an old fuel. Say,
you're kind familiar.

Tidus: I should--I am Tidus, star of The Zanarkand Abes.

Quistis: Sounds like a neat blues band.

Tidus: You think we're a band? No, we ain't no band, we're
a blitzball team, from planet Spira.

Selphie: Blitzball? Sound like a rough trade.

Tidus: Not at all. Blitzball is the #1 game on Spira, an'
me and my team, we're stayin' at The Galbadia Hotel
in Deling City.

Quistis: I thought that hotel was demolished.

Tidus: They rebuilt it since.

(While Tidus chews the rag with Quistis, Selphie enters
the station's store and buys some stuff, along with a can
of spray glue.)

Quistis (continued): 'Y know, I'd be most inerested in
hanging with a sports superstar like you.

Tidus: What the heck? It beats datin' Yuna. OK. Meet
me at The Galbadia Hotel an' I'll show you an' your friend
how to play blitzball....along with a lot of other stuff....

Selphie: It's a date, I think.

(Just then, the fuel truck shows up; behind the wheel is
Galbadian Lt. Wedge.)

Wedge: Sorry I was late, but some joker named Kefka
stuck a whoopie cushion on my cab seat. Well, let's refill
those station tanks.

Selphie: An' let's refill OUR tanks an' hightail it to Esthar.

Quistis: We'll take off faster than Rufus Shinra's pet
panther, Dark Nation.

Rufus' Voice: I BEG YOUR PARDON!!

Next: Chapter 6: On With 'Da Show!!