9TH & LAST CHAPTER:
Epilogue: Galbadian Justice
(36th & last scene: The Galbadia
D-District Prison, inside the central
shaft. Billions of Galbadian troops
patrol the sections, maintaining a
heavy guard over Selphie, Quistis,
Zell, Irvine, Squall, Edea, Cid K.,
Ellone and Rinoa, ready to play
their instruments; behind them is
the Galbadian logo surrounded by
the words, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!
TO TURN EVIL. On the other side of
the vast level, again flanked by Raijin
and Fujin, a platnum medal pinned on
his coat, is a smug Seifer. In one hand,
is a wireless mike.)
Seifer (into the mike): Live from
Galbadia, it's Saturday Night!!
Quistis (murmuring): At least they
got rid of the pepper steak for diet
soda an' nachos.....
Selphie: You said it. (to all the SeeDs)
All together now!!
(And so the SeeDs play the big finale number.)
D-DISTRICT'S ROCK
Parody of Jailhouse Rock
Performed by (in order of appearence)
Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt, Squall
Leonheart, Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht,
Cid & Edea Kramer, Rinoa Heartily,
Ellone & Laguna Loire, Seifer Almasy,
Raijin & Fujin, Ma Dincht, Kiros
Seagill, Xu, General Caraway, The
Returners, The Rogues Gallery,
some of AVALANCHE & Cid
Highwind & co.
Quistis:
Ol' Seifer threw a party in D-District's
jail.....
Selphie:
......The Blues SeeDs did their best when
they began to wail....
Squall:
....an' all the captives here throughout the
prison block....
Irvine:
....invented a new craze called D-District Rock
Zell:
So let's rock!! Everyone, let's rock!!
Cid K.:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Edea:
Here comes the brunette sweetie whose
name is Ellone, who's doin' her utmost
to play her slide trombone....
Rinoa:
......BURRRRP!! Selphie Tilmitt's
drums go CRASH!! BOOM!! BANG!!
The rythym section here is the orphanage
gang.
Ellone:
So let's rock!! Everyone, let's rock!!
Laguna:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Seifer:
It was Irvine that would say to ol'
Selphie:
"You're the cutest Trabian I ever
did see....
Rajin:
....I'd sure love the pleasure of your
company, if you did a Garden Festival
with me, y' know."
Fujin:
SO LET'S. ROCK!! EVERYONE. LET'S.
ROCK!!
Ma Dincht:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Kiros:
Poor ol' Rinoa was sittin' like a stone,
at tonight's SeeD ball weepin' all
alone....
Xu:
Cid Kramer said, "Rinoa, don't you
diss ol' Square--you know that Seifer
ditched you, so why should you care?"
General Caraway:
So let's rock!! Everyone let's rock!!
The Returners:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Sephiroth:
Quistis turned to Zell and said,
"For ol' Hyne's sake!!....
Rufus:
....The G-Army's dancin' so let's
make a break!!"
Adel:
But Zell just turned to Quistis,
an' he said, "Nix, nix....
Ultimecia:
.....I wanna eat my hot dogs
just to get my kiks."
NORG:
SO-LET'S-ROCK!! EVERYONE-
LET'S-ROCK!! Fushururu!!
Seymour, Hojo, Corneo & Kefka:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Zack, Reno &
Yuffie:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Major Biggs, Lt. Wedge, Tidus,
Rikku, Yuna, Lulu, Wakka, Elena,
Tseng, Shera, Cid Highwind, &
the rest of the roadhouse patrons:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
All:
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
(When the tune finishes, it's no wonder
there is a lot of of deafening cheers and
applause.)
Raijin: You're right, Seifer--that WAS a
good blues show, y' know.
Seifer: Not bad for two bimbos.
Fujin: AFFIRMITIVE.
OWARI (THE END)
Endnotes:
I hope I did my best to parody The
Blues Brothers for the FF8 universe.
All I can say is: I did my best. I don't
think I might repeat that trick with
The Blues Brothers 2000, unless I get
a lot of requests. But then again, I didn't
see the sequel yet, only the first film.
And now, the cast conversion, in case you didn't
get the idea behind my parody:
Jake & Elwood Blues
(Quistis Trepe & Selphie Tilmitt
respectively)
The mean nun, which I don't know
her name (General Caraway)
The friend of Jake & Elwood played by
the late Cab Calloway (Xu)
Jake's weapon toting lover,
played by Carrie Fisher (Vincent
Valentine)
The Blues Brothers Band (Irvine,
Kinneas, Rinoa Heartily, Cid & Edea
Kramer & Ellone Loire)
The trumpeter turned waiter
(Squall Leonheart)
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
(Zell Dincht)
Aretha Franklin's role
(Ma Dincht)
The Neo Nazi group
(Sephiroth, Rufus Shinra, Hojo,
Corneo, Kefka Palazzo, NORG,
Adel, Ultimecia & Seymour)
The police officer, played by the late
John Candy (Seifer Almasy)
Bob of Bob's County Bunker
(Cid Highwind)
The Good Ol' Boys
(The Returners)
The man that got The Palace Hotel
for The Blues Brothers (Laguna
Loire)
Twiggy's character (Tidus)
You get the idea, eh?
--Ronin
Epilogue: Galbadian Justice
(36th & last scene: The Galbadia
D-District Prison, inside the central
shaft. Billions of Galbadian troops
patrol the sections, maintaining a
heavy guard over Selphie, Quistis,
Zell, Irvine, Squall, Edea, Cid K.,
Ellone and Rinoa, ready to play
their instruments; behind them is
the Galbadian logo surrounded by
the words, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!
TO TURN EVIL. On the other side of
the vast level, again flanked by Raijin
and Fujin, a platnum medal pinned on
his coat, is a smug Seifer. In one hand,
is a wireless mike.)
Seifer (into the mike): Live from
Galbadia, it's Saturday Night!!
Quistis (murmuring): At least they
got rid of the pepper steak for diet
soda an' nachos.....
Selphie: You said it. (to all the SeeDs)
All together now!!
(And so the SeeDs play the big finale number.)
D-DISTRICT'S ROCK
Parody of Jailhouse Rock
Performed by (in order of appearence)
Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt, Squall
Leonheart, Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht,
Cid & Edea Kramer, Rinoa Heartily,
Ellone & Laguna Loire, Seifer Almasy,
Raijin & Fujin, Ma Dincht, Kiros
Seagill, Xu, General Caraway, The
Returners, The Rogues Gallery,
some of AVALANCHE & Cid
Highwind & co.
Quistis:
Ol' Seifer threw a party in D-District's
jail.....
Selphie:
......The Blues SeeDs did their best when
they began to wail....
Squall:
....an' all the captives here throughout the
prison block....
Irvine:
....invented a new craze called D-District Rock
Zell:
So let's rock!! Everyone, let's rock!!
Cid K.:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Edea:
Here comes the brunette sweetie whose
name is Ellone, who's doin' her utmost
to play her slide trombone....
Rinoa:
......BURRRRP!! Selphie Tilmitt's
drums go CRASH!! BOOM!! BANG!!
The rythym section here is the orphanage
gang.
Ellone:
So let's rock!! Everyone, let's rock!!
Laguna:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Seifer:
It was Irvine that would say to ol'
Selphie:
"You're the cutest Trabian I ever
did see....
Rajin:
....I'd sure love the pleasure of your
company, if you did a Garden Festival
with me, y' know."
Fujin:
SO LET'S. ROCK!! EVERYONE. LET'S.
ROCK!!
Ma Dincht:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Kiros:
Poor ol' Rinoa was sittin' like a stone,
at tonight's SeeD ball weepin' all
alone....
Xu:
Cid Kramer said, "Rinoa, don't you
diss ol' Square--you know that Seifer
ditched you, so why should you care?"
General Caraway:
So let's rock!! Everyone let's rock!!
The Returners:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Sephiroth:
Quistis turned to Zell and said,
"For ol' Hyne's sake!!....
Rufus:
....The G-Army's dancin' so let's
make a break!!"
Adel:
But Zell just turned to Quistis,
an' he said, "Nix, nix....
Ultimecia:
.....I wanna eat my hot dogs
just to get my kiks."
NORG:
SO-LET'S-ROCK!! EVERYONE-
LET'S-ROCK!! Fushururu!!
Seymour, Hojo, Corneo & Kefka:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Zack, Reno &
Yuffie:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Major Biggs, Lt. Wedge, Tidus,
Rikku, Yuna, Lulu, Wakka, Elena,
Tseng, Shera, Cid Highwind, &
the rest of the roadhouse patrons:
Everyone in the prison block, was
dancin' to D-District's Rock.
All:
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
Dancin' to D-District's Rock.
Rock, Rock, Rock.
(When the tune finishes, it's no wonder
there is a lot of of deafening cheers and
applause.)
Raijin: You're right, Seifer--that WAS a
good blues show, y' know.
Seifer: Not bad for two bimbos.
Fujin: AFFIRMITIVE.
OWARI (THE END)
Endnotes:
I hope I did my best to parody The
Blues Brothers for the FF8 universe.
All I can say is: I did my best. I don't
think I might repeat that trick with
The Blues Brothers 2000, unless I get
a lot of requests. But then again, I didn't
see the sequel yet, only the first film.
And now, the cast conversion, in case you didn't
get the idea behind my parody:
Jake & Elwood Blues
(Quistis Trepe & Selphie Tilmitt
respectively)
The mean nun, which I don't know
her name (General Caraway)
The friend of Jake & Elwood played by
the late Cab Calloway (Xu)
Jake's weapon toting lover,
played by Carrie Fisher (Vincent
Valentine)
The Blues Brothers Band (Irvine,
Kinneas, Rinoa Heartily, Cid & Edea
Kramer & Ellone Loire)
The trumpeter turned waiter
(Squall Leonheart)
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
(Zell Dincht)
Aretha Franklin's role
(Ma Dincht)
The Neo Nazi group
(Sephiroth, Rufus Shinra, Hojo,
Corneo, Kefka Palazzo, NORG,
Adel, Ultimecia & Seymour)
The police officer, played by the late
John Candy (Seifer Almasy)
Bob of Bob's County Bunker
(Cid Highwind)
The Good Ol' Boys
(The Returners)
The man that got The Palace Hotel
for The Blues Brothers (Laguna
Loire)
Twiggy's character (Tidus)
You get the idea, eh?
--Ronin
