DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

WU-FEI'S VERSION:

Wu-Fei was in his dojo doing some meditation. Today it was slightly more difficult than other days for he knew that sooner or later it would be his turn to explain things to his little girl. In any case, he was sure we would do better than those bakas.

Although he was really happy with his daughter, he was still hoping that Sally would give him a baby boy. The Chang clan needed a worthy successor and, even though he loved his daughter, she was just a weak onna and, of course, the poor thing had all the limitations that her female condition brought with it.

Unfortunately, Sally didn't want to hear about making a baby anytime soon: she was far too busy with her job in the Preventers and right now she didn't want another child. Nevertheless, Wu-Fei was doing his best to convince her but that onna was the most stubborn person on ESUN.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a small voice.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Lucy. How can I help you?" Wu-Fei asked patronisingly.

"I wanted to know…"

"You want to know where do babies come from, don't you?" interrupted Wu-Fei. By Nataku, onna were so predictable…

"Yes, how did you know?" asked the little girl.

"Well…I am your father. I will always know more than you. You are only a tiny onna hence you don't know many things…"

"Ah. Ok. So, where do they come from?" repeated the Lucy.

He had predicted and fully prepared all of this. He was going to explain this to his daughter without messing thing up. At the end of the day, she was an onna so it was better if you kept it simple so the possibilities of screwing up would be smaller.

"Ok. You know what a cabbage is, don't you?" the Chinese man said.

"Yes…" Lucy replied. She was sitting next to her father and was paying lots of attention.

"Ok, some cabbages are special because they have been blessed. This cabbages contain babies and when babies are ready they are given to a married couple that will take care of them. So, when you came out of your cabbage, you were given to us and we are now taking care of you, ok?" Wu-Fei said getting ready to go back to his meditation.

"Sure. But, what happens if you want to give me a brother or a sister?" Lucy asked.

"Nothing. We just get another baby from another cabbage. It is really simple," Wu-Fei explained to her daughter patiently.

"Ah. Yes. It is very simple…but, what about cabbage soup…you like eating cabbage soup…" Lucy asked stubbornly.

"Yes, but that is because the cabbage has already been emptied and chopped so it can be eaten," Wu-Fei replied feeling that he was losing his patience "now, daddy needs to go back to his meditation."

With this, Wu-Fei dismissed his daughter and Lucy went to the garden to play.

After not too long, the little girl saw her mum coming back from the groceries store. Lucy followed her to the kitchen and watched her mum unpacking the food. Finally, Sally emptied the last bag and produced a medium size whole cabbage. She was going to cook the cabbage soup that Wu-Fei liked so much.

Lucy started to stare at her mum with growing concern. No. Her mum was not going to do that… there was no way...

Then, the unbelievable happened, Sally got a huge kitchen knife and was about to start chopping the cabbage when she heard a terrified scream coming from her little girl:

"NOOOO!!!! MUM, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL MY BABY BROTHER!!!!"