Author's Ramblings:

C: There's nothing to ramble about today.



ACT 5

Everyone: *Stops what they're doing as a guy dressed in pink with a frilly tutu around his waist runs in on his toes*
Ballerina: "Genrou!"
Robber: "Kouji!"
Ballerina Kouji: *Runs up to robber and links his arm through the hollow back of the chair and does the Bandit Dance*
*Dwoing! Dwoing! Dwoing! (Genrou! Kouji!) Dwoing! Dwoing!*
Robber: *Spins around upside-down with his legs flailing in the air as the Ballerina runs around in circles dragging the chair with him*
C: "The Dance of the Bandits?! LET ME JOIN IN!" *Dwoing! Dwoing! (skips over to join)*
Nakago: *Suddenly turns serious* "Hey! You in the pink tutu and you with the screwed up teeth"
Mitsukake: *Looks up*
Nakago: "No, the other guy. The guy that's frolicking with the Ballerina. You are both under arrest for attempted robbery and possession of a dangerous weapon."
S: "A pellet gun? Nuh-uh..."
Tamahome: *Gives Tomo one final bitch-slap and runs to stand beside Nakago*
Tomo: *Falls on his ass and starts bawling his eyes out*
S: "At least Ronald McDonald doesn't go to hell."
C: *Stops bandit dance and stares at Tomo* "Tamahome, I think you hurt his feelings."
S: "OMG, look they're getting away, all this useless rambling gave that Ballerina enough time to untie the robber."
S: "And where's that Happy Meal you owed us?!"
C: "Yeah, I'm hungry, it's lunch time!"
Nakago: "Errr, well you see..." *nervous look at Tamahome* "Heh, heh... Well, I don't have any money, because last night, when the old hag blasted us away, I fell into a gay bar, and spent all my money on buying drinks..."
Tamahome: *starts turning red with anger* "You WHAT?!"
Nakago: *screams*
Everyone: *covers ears*
C: "Ouch, Nakago, when'd you become so GAY?"
Nakago: "Hmmm, well, I think it was when-"
Tamahome: "NAKAGO! How could you?! After everything we've been through..."
Nakago: *Jumps* "Tamahome!!! I'm sorry! But it wasn't my fault-"
Tamahome: "Arrgh! That's it! I'm breaking up with you! I'm not going to stay with somebody who doesn't respect me!"
Nakago: =*(
Tomo: "YES!!! Alright, Nakago-sama, FINALLY you're free!"
Nakago: *Cries and sweatdrops at the same time*
C: "Woah, wait, Tamahome, calm down! Don't dump Nakago! You can't just be sure that he cheated on you when there's no evidence!"
Tamahome: "Huh? I never thought that he cheated on me..." *scratches head*
C: "What? Didn't you suspect that he was cheating on you with guys from the gay bar when he said that he spent all his money on buying drinks?"
Tamahome: "...Um...No?"
C: "Then why're you freaking out?"
Tamahome: "Don't you get it? He spent all the precious money on buying beer! And after all those long hours of driving around a garbage carriage to make the money!"
S: "Huh? What's a garbage carriage?"
C: "It's probably a garbage truck in Ancient China or something."
S: "Ugh, I shoulda' known. How obvious was it... Nakago spends all his money at a gay bar."
C: "Alright Nakago, time to do some panning."
S: "Oooh, I know! Tomo, if you steal us some McDonald's we'll let you kiss Nakago!"
Nakago: "Whaaaaaaaaaat?! I never agreed to that!"
Tamahome: "Fine go kiss him, you bastard! WAAAAAAAHHHH! You filthy money waster. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I hate you! WAHHHHHHHHH!" *Runs out of McDonald's crying*
Nakago: "Noooo... Don't leave me alone with Tomo and two girls wanting me to pay for their Happy Meal! TAMAHOME! WAHHHHHH!"
S: "Why's everyone so girly?"
C: "Maybe Taiitsukun blasted them one too many times..."
S: *Looks at Nakago pathetically* "Okay... Let's go find Tamahome so he'll shut up and stop whining."
C: "Are you sure you want to leave Nakago alone with Tomo? I don't trust him." *Sees Tomo trying to look coy*
S: "Alright, Tomo, there's no way you can look sexy wearing a clown costume with a red afro."
C: "Plus, your make-up's all smudged."
Tomo: "Oh yeah!" *Whips out make-up kit*
Nakago: *A frightened expression replaces the one filled with grief* "And to think, I took cover with Tomo behind the counter all the while tugging at his afro for comfort."
S: "Oh, by the way Tomo, nice wig!"
Tomo: "But this is my real hair."
C: "Uhhh... let's leave now."
Nakago: "I'm coming toooooooo!"
S: "No way in hell, I'm not gonna tolerate whining."
C: "Lock him up in the trunk again!"

[Meanwhile, Tamahome runs across the busy city streets sobbing. Cars screech to a halt as he runs right in front of them.]

C: *Shouts above the banging noises coming from the trunk* "I wonder where Tamahome is."
*Screeeeeeeeeech*
S: *Swears out the window* "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU LITTLE PUNK!"
C: "Shell, that looked like Tamahome!"
S: "Nahhh... my spider senses tell me he's in his little Janitorial broom closet crying a bucketful."

[Meanwhile Tamahome runs blindly infront of an ugly blue car.]
*Screeeeeeeeeech*
Driver: "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU LITTLE PUNK!"
Tamahome: *Runs away crying even harder... and trips over his own feet on to the sidewalk* "Waahhh... You don't have to so mean, I'm already heart-broken."

*Shelley and Cecilia arrive back at school... Oh, AND Nakago too, almost forgot about him in the back trunk*
*We run towards the school... until we hear a banging coming from the car. Oops it slipped out of our minds to let him out.*
C: "Hey why don't we just leave him in there?"
S: "No, he'll dent up my trunk." *Throws car keys to Cecilia for her to let him out*

Nakago: "Phew... ok, bathroom break."
C&S: @_@
Nakago: "All those bumps and potholes on the way back... almost made me wanna urinate right in the trunk."
S: "I WOULDA KILLED YOU IF YOU DID, NAKAGO! I certainly don't want my car to smell like piss everytime I get in and drive."
C: "Ok Nakago, you go take a squirt and we'll wait... *watches Nakago run into the bathroom* "...Not."
S: "You go that way, and I'll go this way. We'll meet at the disaster area!"
C: "The..what?!"
S: "The Girls' Bathroom."

S: *Walks down the hall suspiciously looking for Tamahome* "Where in hell did that crazy janitor head to anyway? Pfft... he's probably hiding in a broom closet somewhere."
ANNOUNCEMENT: "Would tutor number 349 please head down to the library, your student is waiting for you... Tutor number 349 head down to the library..."
S: *Thinks for a sec* "Mehh... doesn't concern me." *Stops* "Wait! That's me! Ughh, I hate how they refer to us as numbers like lab rats. Hmmm...." *Contemplates* "Lose my job... or give up the search. Lose my job... or give up the search... ....LOSE MY JOB?! Eugh! Cecilia can look for Tamahome's ass herself." *Heads towards library*

C: *Walks down the hall suspiciously looking for Tamahome* "Tamahome... now now Tamahome, don't hide from me. I'll give you 50 CENTS if you come and turn yourself in! Wait... why am I talking like Nakago?"
ANNOUCEMENT: "Would student number 1587 please head to the general office... Student number 1587 head to the general office..."
C: *Thinks* "Is that my number? Was I 1586 or 1587? Humph! I hate how this prison-uh.. school refers to us as numbers."
C: *Keeps walking* Hmm, they have no reason to call me down to the office... I mean I had quite an uneventful day today. All I did was destroy a locker, possibly kill a student, take part in destroying the bathroom and skip a few classes... oh well, that can't be me. I guess I'm number 1586.

S: *Rushes into the library and puts on a huge fake smile* "Ok, where's that brat Mr. Bankley?!" Oops.. "I mean, where's my precious little pupil?"
Mr. Bankley: *Points at a girl in a football jacket*
S: *Walks over confidently* "Hey there, I couldn't help noticing your long beautiful purple hair."
Girl: *Sighs deeply* "Thank you, but my hair is NOTHING compared to Hotohori-sama's."
S: "Eh? Ok, well lets get started shall we? By they way, my name's 349-I mean, Shelley."
Girl: *Smiles and looks up* "I'm-"
S: *Interrupts* "Yes, what's your name little girl?"
Girl: "I'm a boy!"
S: "Aahh, I see why you need tutoring!" *Whips out a Sex Ed. binder* "Ok, I see that you're a bit confused about your gender, dear, but don't worry... once I'm done teaching you all the names of the sexual reproductive organs, YOU'LL NEVER MISTAKE YOURSELF FOR A GUY AGAIN!"
Girl (boy?): *Insists frantically* "But I am a guy!"
S: "Now now, calm down." *Sits down and opens binder* "Lets start with the basics..."

C: *Runs around in circles muttering* "Where is Tamahome? Where is Tamahome?" *Bumps into someone and lands on her ass*
C: *Looks up* "Uhh..." *Sweatdrop* "Oh hi Ms. Nelco, nice day outside isn't it?"
Ms. Nelco: *Glares*

[15 minutes later]
C: "...But I swear my number is 1586! You called 1587 to the office today, isn't that... uh, Chiriko's number?"
Ms. Nelco: "Well since you brought that up, I'll tell you the other violations that you have committed."
C: "Geez, stop making it sound like I killed somebody."
Ms. Nelco: "Actually, that's not far from the truth... Apparently while you were SKIPPING Ms. Freizen's science class, and running away from your partner assignment, might I add you dumped the whole project on him... A student was violently assaulted inside his locker."
C: *Interrupts* "But how can that be? How can ONE student fit in a locker, let alone two?"
Ms. Nelco: "Ahem, actually, he was locked up inside the locker and we are assuming that the same culprit that locked him in the locker is the same one who took a baseball bat and smashed the locker he was standing inside, causing him a violent nosebleed, you should also note that this student is a hemophiliac."
C: "What? Being assaulted in a locker, turns people on?"
Ms. Nelco: "EXCUSE ME?! Young lady! That is an inapproriate part of this discussion! Anyway... we have reason to believe that you're suspicious of this crime. Our video records show you walking out of your science class at 9:00 AM. At that time no one else was wandering the halls."
C: *Thinks* "But... but... how do you know it's not a tutor... Tutor number..." *Thinks up a number she remembers hearing* "...349!"
Ms. Nelco: "That could not be true because our video records clearly show that the tutor you have mentioned was in the library tutoring student number 1487. So you had better explain yourself, 1587!"
C: *Sweatdrop* *Remembers Amiboshi saying something about 'foot ball guys' and 'lockers'* "Ms. Nelco! I think I have found your culprits! Earlier today while I was heading to the... washroom, I bumped into a friend of mine telling me that he had been previously locked in a locker by some football guys. So I'm putting two and two together... and I'm getting five!"
Ms. Nelco: "What you're saying absolutely makes no sense."
C: "But yes it does! Two plus two is five. Ms. Nelco, I know you're the assistant principal and all, but you really should learn your math!"
Ms. Nelco: *Confused* "What I mean is that I'll look into the situation concerning football players. But that is no excuse for your skipping class and failure to attend the two classes afterwards." *Gets up* "In the meantime, you will be going over your basic math skills in the detention room until the principal has a moment to speak with you."
C: "Hey! That's not fair, I was skipping class for a good cause!" Ooops! *Sweatdrop*
Ms. Nelco: "Get in there, 1587!"

S: "...And that's the easiest way to distinguish a girl from a boy."
Girl (boy?): "But I have all the sex organs of a man! Look!" *Rips shirt open*
S: "EEEek! My virgin eyes!" *Tries to button up the girl's shirt* "Heh, don't get all hysterical dear... You're just a late-bloomer, they'll grow in one day."
Girl (boy?): "Ugh, what a waste of a period when I could have been in Social class hitting on Hotohori-sama..."
S: "Why do you keep bringing that guy up? Sensible women would go after hot guys like Hotohori." Wait... Hotohori... Hotohori-sama... "HEY YOU KNOW HOTOHORI?! How do YOU know Hotohori? Who are you anyways?"
Girl (boy?): "I'm Nuriko, the quaterback of the school football team." *Proudly shows off the stitching on his jacket* "Well thanks anyway, you should come to the game tonight, we're gonna kick those barbarian's asses!
S: "Uhh, what kinda team name is Barbarians anyway?"
Nuriko: "Oh just bunch of bar-brawlers who think they're all that 'cause their quaterback's a big fatty."
S: "Um ok, see ya there and good luck on the game." *Shakes head* That was strange. "Well, back to the search for Tamahome."
S: *Heads out into the hallway* "Geez, where is that dirty, PMS-ing janitor!" *Runs around in squares muttering*

[Flush goes off in washroom and a voice emerges]
Nakago: *Calls out of the bathroom* "Uh, sorry guys. After I was done pissing, I realized I really had to go number two... I'm sorry it took so long, but the things I ate in the morning and not to mention the car ride back..." *Pokes head out of bathroom* "Um, friends? Little girls... where are you?"


Next Episode:

WILL NAKAGO EVER FIND HIS "FRIENDS"?

WILL SHELLEY EVER STOP RUNNING AROUND IN SQUARES?

WILL CECILIA BE ADDING TWO PLUS TWO FOREVER IN THE DETENTION ROOM?

I don't know... stop asking me so many questions!

And please review, it really encourages us to act more stupid and finish this. ^____^