C: There's nothing to ramble about today.
ACT 5
Everyone: *Stops what they're doing as a guy dressed in pink with a frilly
tutu around his waist runs in on his toes*
Ballerina:
"Genrou!"
Robber: "Kouji!"
Ballerina Kouji: *Runs up to robber and
links his arm through the hollow back of the chair and does the Bandit
Dance*
*Dwoing! Dwoing! Dwoing! (Genrou! Kouji!) Dwoing!
Dwoing!*
Robber: *Spins around upside-down with his legs flailing in
the air as the Ballerina runs around in circles dragging the chair with
him*
C: "The Dance of the Bandits?! LET ME JOIN IN!" *Dwoing! Dwoing!
(skips over to join)*
Nakago: *Suddenly turns serious* "Hey! You
in the pink tutu and you with the screwed up teeth"
Mitsukake: *Looks
up*
Nakago: "No, the other guy. The guy that's frolicking with the
Ballerina. You are both under arrest for attempted robbery and possession of a
dangerous weapon."
S: "A pellet gun? Nuh-uh..."
Tamahome: *Gives Tomo
one final bitch-slap and runs to stand beside Nakago*
Tomo: *Falls on
his ass and starts bawling his eyes out*
S: "At least Ronald McDonald
doesn't go to hell."
C: *Stops bandit dance and stares at Tomo*
"Tamahome, I think you hurt his feelings."
S: "OMG, look they're getting
away, all this useless rambling gave that Ballerina enough time to untie the
robber."
S: "And where's that Happy Meal you owed us?!"
C: "Yeah, I'm
hungry, it's lunch time!"
Nakago: "Errr, well you see..." *nervous look
at Tamahome* "Heh, heh... Well, I don't have any money, because last night,
when the old hag blasted us away, I fell into a gay bar, and spent all my money
on buying drinks..."
Tamahome: *starts turning red with anger* "You
WHAT?!"
Nakago: *screams*
Everyone: *covers ears*
C:
"Ouch, Nakago, when'd you become so GAY?"
Nakago: "Hmmm, well, I think it was
when-"
Tamahome: "NAKAGO! How could you?! After everything we've been
through..."
Nakago: *Jumps* "Tamahome!!! I'm sorry! But it wasn't my
fault-"
Tamahome: "Arrgh! That's it! I'm breaking up with you! I'm not going
to stay with somebody who doesn't respect me!"
Nakago: =*(
Tomo: "YES!!!
Alright, Nakago-sama, FINALLY you're free!"
Nakago: *Cries and sweatdrops
at the same time*
C: "Woah, wait, Tamahome, calm down! Don't dump Nakago!
You can't just be sure that he cheated on you when there's no
evidence!"
Tamahome: "Huh? I never thought that he cheated on me..."
*scratches head*
C: "What? Didn't you suspect that he was cheating on
you with guys from the gay bar when he said that he spent all his money on
buying drinks?"
Tamahome: "...Um...No?"
C: "Then why're you freaking
out?"
Tamahome: "Don't you get it? He spent all the precious money on buying
beer! And after all those long hours of driving around a garbage carriage to
make the money!"
S: "Huh? What's a garbage carriage?"
C: "It's probably a
garbage truck in Ancient China or something."
S: "Ugh, I shoulda' known. How
obvious was it... Nakago spends all his money at a gay bar."
C: "Alright
Nakago, time to do some panning."
S: "Oooh, I know! Tomo, if you steal us
some McDonald's we'll let you kiss Nakago!"
Nakago: "Whaaaaaaaaaat?! I never
agreed to that!"
Tamahome: "Fine go kiss him, you bastard! WAAAAAAAHHHH! You
filthy money waster. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I hate you! WAHHHHHHHHH!" *Runs out of
McDonald's crying*
Nakago: "Noooo... Don't leave me alone with Tomo and
two girls wanting me to pay for their Happy Meal! TAMAHOME! WAHHHHHH!"
S:
"Why's everyone so girly?"
C: "Maybe Taiitsukun blasted them one too many
times..."
S: *Looks at Nakago pathetically* "Okay... Let's go find
Tamahome so he'll shut up and stop whining."
C: "Are you sure you want to
leave Nakago alone with Tomo? I don't trust him." *Sees Tomo trying to look
coy*
S: "Alright, Tomo, there's no way you can look sexy wearing a clown
costume with a red afro."
C: "Plus, your make-up's all smudged."
Tomo: "Oh
yeah!" *Whips out make-up kit*
Nakago: *A frightened expression
replaces the one filled with grief* "And to think, I took cover with Tomo
behind the counter all the while tugging at his afro for comfort."
S: "Oh, by
the way Tomo, nice wig!"
Tomo: "But this is my real hair."
C: "Uhhh...
let's leave now."
Nakago: "I'm coming toooooooo!"
S: "No way in hell, I'm
not gonna tolerate whining."
C: "Lock him up in the trunk again!"
[Meanwhile, Tamahome runs across the busy city streets sobbing. Cars screech to a halt as he runs right in front of them.]
C: *Shouts above the banging noises coming from the trunk* "I wonder
where Tamahome is."
*Screeeeeeeeeech*
S: *Swears out the
window* "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU LITTLE PUNK!"
C: "Shell, that looked like
Tamahome!"
S: "Nahhh... my spider senses tell me he's in his little
Janitorial broom closet crying a bucketful."
[Meanwhile Tamahome runs blindly infront of an ugly blue car.]
*Screeeeeeeeeech*
Driver: "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU LITTLE
PUNK!"
Tamahome: *Runs away crying even harder... and trips over his own
feet on to the sidewalk* "Waahhh... You don't have to so mean, I'm already
heart-broken."
*Shelley and Cecilia arrive back at school... Oh, AND Nakago too, almost
forgot about him in the back trunk*
*We run towards the school...
until we hear a banging coming from the car. Oops it slipped out of our minds to
let him out.*
C: "Hey why don't we just leave him in there?"
S: "No,
he'll dent up my trunk." *Throws car keys to Cecilia for her to let him
out*
Nakago: "Phew... ok, bathroom break."
C&S: @_@
Nakago: "All those
bumps and potholes on the way back... almost made me wanna urinate right in the
trunk."
S: "I WOULDA KILLED YOU IF YOU DID, NAKAGO! I certainly don't want my
car to smell like piss everytime I get in and drive."
C: "Ok Nakago, you go
take a squirt and we'll wait... *watches Nakago run into the bathroom*
"...Not."
S: "You go that way, and I'll go this way. We'll meet at the
disaster area!"
C: "The..what?!"
S: "The Girls' Bathroom."
S: *Walks down the hall suspiciously looking for Tamahome* "Where in
hell did that crazy janitor head to anyway? Pfft... he's probably hiding in a
broom closet somewhere."
ANNOUNCEMENT: "Would tutor number 349 please head
down to the library, your student is waiting for you... Tutor number 349 head
down to the library..."
S: *Thinks for a sec* "Mehh... doesn't
concern me." *Stops* "Wait! That's me! Ughh, I hate how they refer to us
as numbers like lab rats. Hmmm...." *Contemplates* "Lose my job... or
give up the search. Lose my job... or give up the search... ....LOSE MY JOB?!
Eugh! Cecilia can look for Tamahome's ass herself." *Heads towards
library*
C: *Walks down the hall suspiciously looking for Tamahome*
"Tamahome... now now Tamahome, don't hide from me. I'll give you 50 CENTS
if you come and turn yourself in! Wait... why am I talking like
Nakago?"
ANNOUCEMENT: "Would student number 1587 please head to the
general office... Student number 1587 head to the general office..."
C:
*Thinks* "Is that my number? Was I 1586 or 1587? Humph! I hate how this
prison-uh.. school refers to us as numbers."
C: *Keeps walking* Hmm,
they have no reason to call me down to the office... I mean I had quite an
uneventful day today. All I did was destroy a locker, possibly kill a student,
take part in destroying the bathroom and skip a few classes... oh well, that
can't be me. I guess I'm number 1586.
S: *Rushes into the library and puts on a huge fake smile* "Ok,
where's that brat Mr. Bankley?!" Oops.. "I mean, where's my precious little
pupil?"
Mr. Bankley: *Points at a girl in a football jacket*
S:
*Walks over confidently* "Hey there, I couldn't help noticing your long
beautiful purple hair."
Girl: *Sighs deeply* "Thank you, but my hair
is NOTHING compared to Hotohori-sama's."
S: "Eh? Ok, well lets get started
shall we? By they way, my name's 349-I mean, Shelley."
Girl: *Smiles and
looks up* "I'm-"
S: *Interrupts* "Yes, what's your name little
girl?"
Girl: "I'm a boy!"
S: "Aahh, I see why you need tutoring!"
*Whips out a Sex Ed. binder* "Ok, I see that you're a bit confused about
your gender, dear, but don't worry... once I'm done teaching you all the names
of the sexual reproductive organs, YOU'LL NEVER MISTAKE YOURSELF FOR A GUY
AGAIN!"
Girl (boy?): *Insists frantically* "But I am a
guy!"
S: "Now now, calm down." *Sits down and opens binder*
"Lets start with the basics..."
C: *Runs around in circles muttering* "Where is Tamahome? Where is
Tamahome?" *Bumps into someone and lands on her ass*
C: *Looks
up* "Uhh..." *Sweatdrop* "Oh hi Ms. Nelco, nice day outside isn't
it?"
Ms. Nelco: *Glares*
[15 minutes later]
C: "...But I swear my number is 1586! You called 1587
to the office today, isn't that... uh, Chiriko's number?"
Ms. Nelco: "Well
since you brought that up, I'll tell you the other violations that you have
committed."
C: "Geez, stop making it sound like I killed somebody."
Ms.
Nelco: "Actually, that's not far from the truth... Apparently while you were
SKIPPING Ms. Freizen's science class, and running away from your partner
assignment, might I add you dumped the whole project on him... A student was
violently assaulted inside his locker."
C: *Interrupts* "But how can
that be? How can ONE student fit in a locker, let alone two?"
Ms.
Nelco: "Ahem, actually, he was locked up inside the locker and we are assuming
that the same culprit that locked him in the locker is the same one who took a
baseball bat and smashed the locker he was standing inside, causing him a
violent nosebleed, you should also note that this student is a
hemophiliac."
C: "What? Being assaulted in a locker, turns people on?"
Ms.
Nelco: "EXCUSE ME?! Young lady! That is an inapproriate part of this discussion!
Anyway... we have reason to believe that you're suspicious of this crime. Our
video records show you walking out of your science class at 9:00 AM. At that
time no one else was wandering the halls."
C: *Thinks* "But... but...
how do you know it's not a tutor... Tutor number..." *Thinks up a number she
remembers hearing* "...349!"
Ms. Nelco: "That could not be true because
our video records clearly show that the tutor you have mentioned was in the
library tutoring student number 1487. So you had better explain yourself,
1587!"
C: *Sweatdrop* *Remembers Amiboshi saying something
about 'foot ball guys' and 'lockers'* "Ms. Nelco! I think I have found your
culprits! Earlier today while I was heading to the... washroom, I bumped into a
friend of mine telling me that he had been previously locked in a locker by some
football guys. So I'm putting two and two together... and I'm getting
five!"
Ms. Nelco: "What you're saying absolutely makes no sense."
C: "But
yes it does! Two plus two is five. Ms. Nelco, I know you're the assistant
principal and all, but you really should learn your math!"
Ms. Nelco:
*Confused* "What I mean is that I'll look into the situation concerning
football players. But that is no excuse for your skipping class and failure to
attend the two classes afterwards." *Gets up* "In the meantime, you will
be going over your basic math skills in the detention room until the principal
has a moment to speak with you."
C: "Hey! That's not fair, I was skipping
class for a good cause!" Ooops! *Sweatdrop*
Ms. Nelco: "Get in there,
1587!"
S: "...And that's the easiest way to distinguish a girl from a boy."
Girl
(boy?): "But I have all the sex organs of a man! Look!" *Rips shirt
open*
S: "EEEek! My virgin eyes!" *Tries to button up the girl's
shirt* "Heh, don't get all hysterical dear... You're just a late-bloomer,
they'll grow in one day."
Girl (boy?): "Ugh, what a waste of a period when I
could have been in Social class hitting on Hotohori-sama..."
S: "Why do you
keep bringing that guy up? Sensible women would go after hot guys like
Hotohori." Wait... Hotohori... Hotohori-sama... "HEY YOU KNOW HOTOHORI?! How do
YOU know Hotohori? Who are you anyways?"
Girl (boy?): "I'm Nuriko, the
quaterback of the school football team." *Proudly shows off the stitching on
his jacket* "Well thanks anyway, you should come to the game tonight, we're
gonna kick those barbarian's asses!
S: "Uhh, what kinda team name is
Barbarians anyway?"
Nuriko: "Oh just bunch of bar-brawlers who think they're
all that 'cause their quaterback's a big fatty."
S: "Um ok, see ya there and
good luck on the game." *Shakes head* That was strange. "Well, back to
the search for Tamahome."
S: *Heads out into the hallway* "Geez, where is
that dirty, PMS-ing janitor!" *Runs around in squares muttering*
[Flush goes off in washroom and a voice emerges]
Nakago: *Calls out of
the bathroom* "Uh, sorry guys. After I was done pissing, I realized I really
had to go number two... I'm sorry it took so long, but the things I ate in the
morning and not to mention the car ride back..." *Pokes head out of
bathroom* "Um, friends? Little girls... where are you?"
Next Episode:
WILL NAKAGO EVER FIND HIS "FRIENDS"?
WILL SHELLEY EVER STOP RUNNING AROUND IN SQUARES?
WILL CECILIA BE ADDING TWO PLUS TWO FOREVER IN THE DETENTION ROOM?
I don't know... stop asking me so many questions!
And please review, it really encourages us to act more stupid and finish this. ^____^
