A/N: Only own what I mentioned before. Oh yeah, and turnips don't bleed.
Amy, you are a GEM among gems! The most genuine friend of all time- How many friends could maintain a friendship across the miles like we do? We are just as close now as when we lived next door to each other. I was so touched by your review~
Christina, I thanked you on Viv's board, but I need to do it again- YOU ROCK! Thank you sooo much for the info and the support!
Everyone, HAA, Elane, Tessa, Nicki, TLM, I am so happy you are enjoying the story. : ) Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your reviews! They are (each and every one of them) all special to me~
It is a rather sad and angsty story- but rather delicious too. Emotional deliciousness. Not normally my style (or is it?) I usually prefer to watch comedy- but I am finding an affinity for reading and writing angst. Hmmm. Ahhha, it must be that good old Victorian romance thing Anne of Green Gables had a fancy for! I just loved those books, L.M. Montgomery was so totally gifted!!!
Ok, I will stop now and let you read this chapter.
Make sure to tell me if you want to hear more- or if you feel the story is done with chapter four. I have a little more written, but I hate to milk it too much. Decisions, decisions……. ; )
Peace,
Shawna
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All Fall Down: 4
Bring Me To Life
Cory searched franticly, questioning students, teachers anyone and everyone he saw. In desperation he went to Feeny's office. He didn't get a chance to see Mr. Feeny- Eric was outside the office. A glimmer of hope shone in Cory's face.
"Eric, thank God- do you know where Shawn is?" Cory panted, out of breath from running. He had been searching all over campus.
"Uh, ya, actually, I think he said something this morning about meeting Angela for lunch."
Cory grabbed the collar of Eric's shirt, "Where?!" He demanded.
"The student union, I think-," confused, Eric studied Cory's face noticing his relief at the mention that he may find Shawn. "Why, what's wrong?"
"Angela's father was killed," Cory replied, letting go of Eric, "Look, if you see him, tell him to go straight home. Topanga is sitting with Angela in the apartment." With that, Cory turned on his heel and took off sprinting toward the student union.
Eric just stared after him full of questions, and in disbelief. First Shawn, and now Angela- life was so unfair.
~~~~~
Shawn sat at a table with his coffee and sighed as he looked at his watch. Angela should have been there by now. They were supposed to meet at noon, and it was now twenty after. It just wasn't like her to be late, so he figured she must have a good reason. Shawn took a long swig of coffee and went back to the book he was trying to study.
Cory burst through the doors, and spotted Shawn right away. Running to his table, he blurted out his mission, "Shawn, Angela needs you now! I've been looking for you all morning." Cory took a breath and let it out gradually, trying to slow his heart rate. "Look, her dad died, Shawn. We're worried about her. She won't talk."
"Oh, my God- No," Shawn exclaimed as he jumped from the table, abandoning his coffee and book. "Where is she?" His eyes were frantic.
"She's at your apartment." Both men dashed for the exit. All Shawn could think about was the pain she had to be feeling. The pain that was all too familiar to him.
~~~~~
Topanga had managed to get Angela into a bubble bath, and then into Shawn's robe. Gently she led her to Shawn's bed for a nap, thinking that sleep may be the best thing for her right now. Once Angela was safely tucked in, Topanga placed a couple of calls. Rachel and Mr. Feeny were both very understanding, and glad that Topanga had called them. It was one less thing for Angela to worry about doing. Topanga just felt it was the least she could do.
As soon as Topanga hung up the phone from talking to Rachel, Shawn rushed in the door, followed closely by Cory.
"Where is she?" Shawn asked impatiently. He needed to see that she was ok.
"She is in your room, I thought she could use some sleep." Topanga began, "Wait! I need to tell you something." She stopped Shawn as he was ascending the stairs.
"What?" Shawn questioned, out of breath, irritated, and sure that nothing could be more important than him seeing Angela.
"Here," walking to Shawn, Topanga reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter from Angela's dad. She had placed it there after the uniformed bearers-of-bad-news had left the union that morning.
Shawn looked at Topanga briefly before turning his eyes to the letter. He read for a moment in silence before replying. "Oh, man- when did she get this?"
"Last night." Topanga replied. "Angela wanted to tell you this morning, but she couldn't find you." She took a breath and watched Shawn's face, "As soon as she told Cory and I, the soldiers found her and told her that her dad had been killed. She's still not speaking, Shawn. I hope you can reach her."
Shawn kicked himself mentally for skipping his coffee this morning- and even more for ignoring the feeling that he needed to see Angela. He had awoken from a nightmare he couldn't remember with an urgent need be with her. He shook his head, and his regret was clear to Cory and Topanga.
Shawn turned and took the stairs two at a time, letter still in hand. 'Would she have left?' he wondered, feeling guilty for having such a selfish thought.
It didn't matter, Shawn decided as he opened the door. Angela lay on his bed, in the appearance of sleep, but tears still glistened on her cheeks. She was motionless, curled into a ball on her side.
Shawn knew that Angela's father was the only family that she had left. Her mother ran out on her, and her grandparents had died in an accident ten years previously. 'Why Angela, why does she have to go through this?' Shawn questioned himself. He knew there was no answer, but that didn't make him feel any better.
Shawn moved quietly to Angela, gently lay down beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. With one arm under her head, and the other around her shoulders he held her tightly.
'I've been sleeping a
1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything.'
'Without a thought. Without a voice.
Without a soul'
'Don't let me die here. There must be something
wrong.'
"Shawn," Angela whispered, recognizing him without opening her eyes, "please don't let go. I'm afraid that I'll crumble into a thousand pieces." She pushed her face into his shoulder, hoping to hide from the devastation she felt.
"I will never let you go, Ange, I love you," Shawn whispered gently into her ear. "You're my life, baby- the reason I breathe." He brought Angela's chin up with his finger, and looked into her face. He had heard somewhere that the eye is the gateway to the soul, and as their gaze met, he could swear that her soul mingled with his and cried out to him; and Shawn began to let his own tears fall silently.
'How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?'
'Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.'
Her pain was his pain. Shawn's father's death was fresh in his mind as he held Angela and shared in her mourning. Shawn had never been as close to anyone, as he was to Angela. Their relationship was so much more than he ever knew could exist. It was spiritual as well as physical, emotional, intellectual- as if they truly shared one soul, and neither was complete without the other.
They lay there for a long time, each one's eyes focused on the other. Shawn was giving her strength, anchoring her- and Angela was drawing his energy, and making it her own. When Shawn felt her body relax in his arms, and her eyes lost their desperation, he brought his lips to hers tenderly, gently.
'Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold '
'until you find it there and lead it back home'
Angela accepted his comfort, his love. As Shawn gently began to rub her back, she kissed him more deeply. He always seemed to know just what she needed. He was bringing her back from the dark place she had been in; a place of death and hopelessness, where there was no past, no future- Shawn brought her to himself. Angela finally felt it was safe to breathe.
'Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Save me. '
'Call my name and save
me from the dark.'
'Bid my blood to run. Before
I come undone.'
"What am I going to do, Shawn?" Angela pulled away gently and stared into Shawn's eyes again. Worry beginning to cross her brow.
'Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me.'
'Breathe into me and
make me real.'
"I will always take care of you, Angela,
always. You don't have to worry about a thing." He looked back into her eyes,
and saw them soften slightly. He slipped his hand under her robe, and stroked
her skin gently, innocently.
'Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling.'
'Only you are the life among the dead'
Shawn's touch was so comforting. Angela brought her lips to his for a moment, and then whispered, "I'd be lost without you."
'All of this sight, I
can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of
me'
'I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to
everything.'
' Bring me to life.'
It would be a long road, and Shawn knew it. Angela would be
ok, he knew that now. She spoke to him, she responded to him- she allowed
herself to feel. Shawn swore to be there every step of the way- he'd never let
her fall.
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(Song Lyrics: Bring me to life, by Evanescence. No, I didn't put them in order- it fit better this way.)
Peace,
Shawna
