Author: Crazy
Pairings: none
Warnings: language, mention of minor character death
Disclaimers: I don`t own them, though I would LOVE to take a couple of them home with me. I`m not making any money off them, *sob* just expanding my meager skills.
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Elbows on his knees, Duo concentrated
his haunted gaze on the floor. He wanted to do *something*...anything to
change what had happened.
~She is another death on my bloody hands.~
He lifted the hands in question, studying their roughness as a shuddering sigh
passed his lips. ~*WHY*?~ He let his fingers slide
through his chestnut hair, until he laced them behind his head.
"Duo, s'okay ....you
cant...change what happened
....It..is *NOT* .....Your ...fault."
Violet eyes flashed open at the memory.
~But it *IS* my fault! I killed her.~ Duo stood
abruptly, drawing startled and concerned looks from his fellow Preventers. He avoided those looks, fearing the accusations
that might be lurking within them, accusations that mirrored his own
self-loathing.
He intentionally found the farthest corner of the small shuttle, then leaned his throbbing head against a cool panel.
~Oh Dear God, Hilde. Why you?~
He squeezed his eyes tightly, fighting the flood of tears that threatened to
turn into an unending stream of waterworks.
~Why didn't I stay on L2? I should have turned down the job offer from Une...then you would have been safe.~
Unconsciously he replayed the case. The initial bombings, then the cities on
earth wiped out with chemicals, soon followed by whole colonies. And
then there was her abduction, and HIS salvage yard blowing up.
He blinked hard. All the workers on his staff, gone in a
matter of seconds. They found her a few days later, infected with an
unknown disease. She…no, *they*, would not have been involved if he had stayed
off the case.
The tortured pilot shook his head, the thigh-length braid swinging softly
behind him. ~No. Even if I had backed off or resigned, Somehow
it would have happened anyway. Shinigami will forever
haunt me.~
Memories of those the God of Death had already taken away, flashed through the
forefront of his mind. His family, Solo, Father Maxwell, and
Sister Helen, each torn from his life by the talon-tipped claws of Death.
Now Hilde was added to the list.
A tear coursed its way down his cheek. ~I brought death upon them all. The
shadow that protects me during battle, also kills all
that I hold dear. ~
He took a shuddering breath and composed himself. As he turned, he caught Quatre and Wufei watching him.
~What of them? Will they die from to my curse? Am I meant to forever walk
alone? No friends? …No lovers?~ His gaze lingered
momentarily on Wufei then on to the back of Heero`s head. ~Perhaps the only way to protect them...~ He
forced a weak smile, trying to hide the dark thoughts. ~would be to leave them
before they succumb to Shinigami.~
He caught Quatre's gaze and the smile faltered.
Taking a deep breath, he looked away from the Arab. He couldn't bear the
thought that he would loose any of them. Perhaps it would be best if he walked
out of their lives forever.
He returned to his seat opposite Wufei, who studied
him thoughtfully. ~Maybe leaving will spare them…but it will damn me to a life
of loneliness.~ Taking in the grace that was Chang Wufei, he came to his decision. ~Better me than them.~
The smile tumbled again as his eyes unfocused.
* * *
Wufei watched Duo. The quietness was so unlike the
American. They had all been hit hard when Hilde had
died, but the braided pilot was the closest to her, even claiming once that she
was like a little sister he would forever protect.
Now, she was no longer around to look after. She was ripped from their midst by
a manufactured disease with no antidote. The slow death had been made worse because
she was a part of their adopted family. Closing his eyes, he took a deep
breath, trying to erase the image that crept unbidden to his mind.
There had been nothing they could do except stay by her bedside offering what
emotional comfort they could. And now there was no bringing her back.
Hilde
looked up form the ledger as they walked
Into the yard office, her blue eyes so full of
life. The five of them had just come in from
Investigating another dead colony and were
exhausted.
Seeing their expressions, she came around the
Counter and ushered them into the back where
There was an employee kitchen. There, she had
Made them a hearty meal and watched over them
until the last plate had been cleaned of food.
Finally satisfied, she left them to discuss
Their next set of options.
Wufei rubbed his eyes with the fingers of
one hand. That had been the last time they had seen her. When they had left the
employee area, she was gone, the ledger notes strewn across the floor being the
only sign of a struggle. They had been so engrossed in their discussion, they had not heard a thing.
It wasn't until they caught the coward, that they had found her....
Wufei swallowed hard and pushed past the memory.
They had all taken turns watching over her, but Duo was the one that stayed the
most, making sure to be there if she ever woke up. And she had, moments before
she finally slipped away.
Duo gripped her hand, not caring
whether the
Disease was contagious or not. Breathtakingly her
Eyes opened and she looked directly up at him.
Faced with her soul filled eyes, he had tried to
Comfort her. But, "Hilde, I am so sorry." Was all
That he could mange to choke out.
She studied him from underneath heavy eyelids.
"Duo…s'okay,,,you can't change what happened."
She paused a moment, her breath labored. "It is
*NOT*…your fault." That said, she released her
final breath.
Wufei
opened his eyes once again to study the American. He was concerned for him. The
silence was unnerving. The haunted looks he gave everyone when he thought they
weren't looking, were even worse. If putting a bullet
through the bastard's head would have made things right, he would have done it.
Even now, he would make Trowa turn the shuttle
around, *if* it would change the past.
He let out a long, even breath, trying to dispel the sudden anger that had
risen. It hadn't been easy to let the lunatic live when they had caught up to
him. Even before they had learned of Hilde's fate,
there was a cry for justice from all the other victims.
The Onyx eyed warrior shook his head at the memories.
So many useless deaths.
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A/N: I am proud of this little fic. And, therefore, decided it needed to come out of the dusty corner of FF.N that it lay in. Please let me know what you think.
