Author: Crazy

Pairings: none

Warnings: language, mention of minor character death

Disclaimers: I don`t own them, though I would LOVE to take a couple
of them home with me. And I`m not making any money off them, just expanding my meager skills.

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Chapter 3

"Headquarters?" Heero called again.

"...."

He flipped a few more switches. "Headquarters?"

"Hea...om...gain...al......point one."

"Repeat again."

"...."

"Headquarters this is P shuttle 2. Please repeat."

"...."

"Hn."

"Yeah. That's what I would say." Duo said sarcastically, attempting to boost his own spirits. Unfortunately, his heart didn't even flinch. It was still lying heavy in his chest, hiding, unsuccessfully, away from the rest of the world. "Why are you bothering with that anyway, Heero? It seems such a waste of time. We never called for clearance when we had our Gundams."

"Baka."   The copilot growled, preoccupied.


"I guess I should have expected that comment from you." Duo said, withdrawing into himself again. "Couldn't you come up with something new?" His voice drifted off.

"Duo, it's standard protocol." Quatre interrupted, a quizzical look on his face.

" What?" They don't want a bunch of Ex-Gundam pilots wandering about the Earth without their knowledge? You'd think they were afraid of us or something."  Snorting in defiance, he looked away, only to notice he had gained a glare from the dragon in the seat across from him. "Wu, are you trying to ignite me with that look?"

Wufei studied him a moment, wondering which Duo he disliked more, the one that had been moping around an hour ago, or this smart assed version. It only took him a moment to realize the answer was neither.  "Duo, that is enough. Do you think she would want you to go on like this?"

"What do you know?" The enraged American shouted. "I have no CLUE what she wants, she isn't here to tell me!." His right hand sliced an arc through the air as he continued. "She will *NEVER* be here to tell me!." Sobbing, he wrapped his arms around himself again. ~ Never. ~ He squeezed
tighter. ~ Never again. ~

Lips tight, Chang only shook his head. He was at a loss. Duo was building a wall around himself and it seemed he had only succeeded in making it worse. Angry with himself, the Asian rubbed his temples.

"Duo…."

"SHUT UP, Quatre! What do you know anyway, Mister 'Protocol' Bullshit? Just fuckin` LEAVE_ME_ALONE!" Eyes shut tight, he drew his legs up to his chest, resting his feet on the edge of his seat. ~ Why can't they understand? I need to be left alone. Don't *TRY* and make me forget. ...I can't forget her or *ANY* of them... Don't they get it?.... ~

Quatre winced at the venom in Duo's words. There seemed to be something fatal behind them. Taking a deep breath, he turned away. It wounded his heart deeper then he wished to admit. All he wanted to do was help his braided friend. ~ He knows that. Deep down he knows.~  Quatre thought to himself. ~ There is something more that I am missing. ~ He rubbed at his chest, trying to ease the emotional ache.

* * *

Duo was jarred from his inner pummeling by the violent shaking of the shuttle. "Trowa, what's with the roller coaster ride?" He called to the brown haired pilot while readjusting his harness. Answered with silence, he looked up. Before them, the earth loomed large in the cockpit window. Something twisted in his gut. "Trow?" He pleaded.

"A ... little ... busy." Came the clipped reply.

Without regard for his own safety Duo unhitched himself and stumbled to the front. "What can I do?" He asked, barely keeping his balance as the ship rocked again.

"Sit down!" Came a growl from his right.

Startled, Duo looked into the fierceness of Heero Yuy. "Why Heero, someone might think you cared." He quipped as he studied the fire in the other's eyes. ~ Do you? ~ A little voice cried out inside, taking him by surprise.

The shuttle bucked again. Quickly Heero grabbed his arm with a vise-like grip, until he could catch his footing again. "Sit Down." The Japanese Pilot repeated, in a softer tone, once he was satisfied Duo was stable enough for him to let go.

Stunned at the fear that had flashed through the perfect soldier's eyes, Duo looked away, only to find himself confronted with the earth in all its beauty.

It was then that he realized, ~ No, I don't want to leave them, and I don't want to die either.~ If not for his friends, he would have left this life long ago. Suicide had played through his thoughts more then once, the only thing holding him back being his fellow Gundam Pilots. They had banded together, survived a war together. They were the only family he had. It was them, the only important things in his meaningless life. They were his family, his brothers, and the ones he loved. They meant more to him then his own life.

He stared out the window, unable to look away, his senses overwhelmed by a fear he had always tried to run from, a realization he didn't want to face. ~ I know I am not the real cause of death. I am just afraid of loosing those who are close to me. ~ He finally closed his eyes. ~They mean too much to me now. I don't want to be alone anymore. ~

He found his seat by touch alone, and while his hands automatically redid the harness, his mind sent out a mental plea. ~Please God, don't take them from me now. They don't deserve to die.... ~

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A/N:  Well that is that.  *dusts her hands off* 

*sees the angry glares and backs up*   Actually it….it really is.  *Gulps*  This is where I left off the last time…….

I really like this ending because I finally led Duo through to what he was truly fearful of.  It works for me.  And actually, I kinda think this makes a good Prelude to another fic I am working on.  Unfortunately that story is not ready for daylight.  Please be patient.  Many sections are being fleshed out at the moment, I just need to add some filler between the angst and action.

Okay, on that note, I will close now by saying ~ let me know what you think.  Please review.

~ Crazy