Chapter Eighteen: How Do You Feel?
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AN: Wow, second last chapter. Rest assure that this fic will end on Chapter 21. And I am planning a sequel, I have vague ideas running around my head. But the most important thing I need is a title. Any suggestions are gladly appreicated. I hope you enjoy this, which was one of the hardest to write (fluff is harder than agst).
AN2: Thank you to Jacey for the amazing Ready-Whip quote. You are slowly taking over my position as Dirty-Msn-Name-Queen. To every single her left me a review in these last couple of weeks to update, I finally got rid of my Writer's Block. To Jacey who totally helped me sort out where this was going. Saviour! If you hadn't helped me sort it out, Jondy would've ended up miserable and alone ;)
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I hate hospitals. With a fiery passion. Not only just from my Manticore days, but from after the escape. Broken limbs, burns, a fever, seizures that almost killed me… the list goes on.
But after all my years spending time in hospital, it isn't the food that pisses me off so much, or the shitty nurses shining the flash light directly in her face trying to wake you up on purpose, mainly because they are too lazy to find out if we've died.
It's the communal bathrooms. I hate having to shower in a cubicle. I like a little bathroom, where I can just clean myself up properly and not have everyone checking out everyone else's pyjamas. The cubicle showers are slimy and filthy, the water is always dirty and cold, and there is no water pressure. And it's worse when you're seriously sick - the nurse comes with you, with the drip, and in that grimy shower, you have an old, nosy woman examining your tattoos and scars.
Don't even let me get started on sponge baths.
I don't really remember a lot of that night, having been shot in the shoulder and having a minor concussion, and seizures and being partially unconscious. You know how it is. I remember being carried into the hospital by Zack, Dr Carr, something bad happening to Max and finally coming to with Dr Carr pumping drugs into me, with Logan and Zack leaning over me. I remember yelling at one of them, but I can't remember what about.
So, all I know about this particular hospital visit was that when I finally woke up was that I was in a private room. In the Seattle Health Care System (and I use the word 'system' very loosely), when you have a private room, you have your own bathroom!
Rapture! Ecstasy! Woo hoo! I can shower properly.
So, I came too in a small, grey room, in a hospital gown, my hair sticking up everywhere and my mouth felt like sandpaper or a dirty sock. I sat up and examined the three machines around me. A drip, a blood transfusion and a heart monitor. Wonderful. I was half dead. Surrounded by so many life-supporting machines, I felt very exhausted and drained and had the sudden desire to curl up and sleep for the next twenty five years.
But, I felt like shit, wanted a shower and I felt jumpy; I think while I was unconscious I went through heat. At the same time, I felt great, sort of untouchable.
I grabbed the controls and hit the buzzer for the nurse.
Instead, I got Dr Carr, Logan and Zack. Wow. I'm special.
"Jondy, welcome back," Dr Carr smiled, winding his stethoscope around his neck, and picking up my chart. "How are you feeling?"
I lay back against the pillows (how is it that all the bed clothes and pillows in a hospital feel like they've been made with 90% paper?) and crossed my arms. "Like I've been shot."
Dr Carr laughed, and began to scribble madly in my notes.
Logan sat on the edge of my bed. "How are you feeling, Jondy?"
"Logan!" I said, throwing my hands up. "Dr Carr just asked me that!"
"Sorry," Logan gave me a grin. "Do you remember anything of the last two days?"
I lay back, running the last events over in my mind. "Nope, drawing a blank here. What happened?"
"You got a concussion, plus being shot in the shoulder," Zack said from the doorway.
"And you lost a lot of blood," Dr Carr said, looking up. "When we got you into the ER, you were seizing and generally a mess. But the bullet wound is healing well, and the lacerations on your back are almost healed up; and they shouldn't scar.
"You haven't rejected the blood transfusion, you look okay… I don't see any reason why I couldn't release you tomorrow, Jondy," Dr Carr smiled.
I frowned. "Can't I be released tonight?" I asked. "I hate hospitals."
Dr Carr shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. Tomorrow is my best offer."
I shrugged and turned back to Logan.
"How are the others?" I asked, twisting a lock of my hair around my fingers.
Zack came over, and took a seat in the chair next to my bed. "Jace had a severe concussion, and her arm is healing well. In fact, it was healing so well, they used a split and some bandages, they didn't see any point of a cast. Case had some burns, bruises and a sprain wrist - and serious dehydration. Evie has a concussion, two broken ribs and dehydration. Max…" Zack exchanged looks with Logan.
"What?" I asked, a lump of fear lodging itself in my throat.
"Jondy, you've been in a pretty bad way for the last two days," Logan said gently, but his eyes were full of worry. "We don't want to upset you."
"Just tell me!" I threw my arms up.
"There was a complication with Max's pregnancy. They are keeping her in for a couple more days," Logan replied, his voice hollow. "They thought she's miscarry, but they think she'll make it now."
I swallowed. I could almost mirror Logan's fear. Poor, poor Maxie.
"But, she will be okay," I said, my head feeling very light.
"Yes," Zack said. "Max will be fine. She'll stay at the hospital a but longer, but she'll be back to normal really soon."
I nodded, relief flooding me. "How's Syl?"
"Absolutely fine," Zack rolled his eyes. "She got out of hospital the night before last. She was our other concussion; you should all know better than getting hit on the head so much." He was teasing me, damnit.
"I'll make a note of that," I replied saucily. I'll blame the concussion on my lack-of-cool responses.
"And for the record," Logan stood up. "Maxa is fine, Zane and Rain are fine, Tinga and Charlie are worried about Case, so they are sleeping on cots in his room and Brin is off with Alec; something about Manticore flashbacks."
I raised an eyebrow, "Who gave you that reason?" Alec and Brin were totally getting it on.
Zack met my gaze. "I know exactly what you're thinking. I took Brin, crying, over to Alec last night. You've got a dirty mind, Jon."
I smiled prettily. "I'm as innocent as the day I was born."
"I remember that day; you were a pain in the ass back then."
"As long as you're fine, Jondy," Logan interrupted. "I am going to go and check on Max and Evie."
"Toodles. Tell them I hope they are feeling better," I called after Logan's retreating form.
"I think they'll be happier to know you're okay," Zack said. "Scared the shit out of us."
"How?" I asked, examining my chipped nail polish.
"You were in a coma. Well, they classified you as a coma case," Zack said. "Comas, high fevers, seizures and blood transfusions. Everyone was very worried."
I looked up at him. "Well, it that was the case, I'm dreadfully disappointed. I thought you'd all be in here, presenting me with huge bouquets of roses and confessions of devotion to me. All I got was you."
Zack laughed. "And I bet you feel honoured?"
"Nah. More like ripped off."
"C'mon, there are benefits."
"Like what?"
"Well, if everyone was here celebrating your consciousness, you couldn't take a shower."
"Zack, I'm in hospital," I retorted. "Queuing for a three minute dribble of cold water that eventually gives me hypothermia, and gives the doctors just cause to keep me in this hellish prison is not my idea of fun."
"Jondy, you were a coma patient. You got a private bathroom," Zack rolled his eyes.
I leapt out of bed, almost crumpled to the floor, and half-ripped the drip out from my wrist. "I have got to witness this magical event!" I said, as Zack helped me stand.
"It's a bathroom."
"A private bathroom."
And it was. All blue and pink, with a nifty little soap, and a phone, an emergency button and a chair in the shower. Wow.
I beamed at him. "Can you believe it? A private bathroom of my very own!"
Zack helped me climb back into bed, and picked up my chart. "I'm glad you're so happy about being here, and not at all distressed about being half dead - this should wear off in about an hour, when the morphine hit Dr Carr gave you, wears off."
I pouted. "Spoil my fun."
"Yes. Are you hungry, do you want anything?" He was surprisingly gentle.
I shook my head.
"Sleep for a bit, and come back down to earth," Zack pressed a kiss to my cheek. "I'll be back late."
"I hope you are," I said dreamily. It must have been morning then, because I totally zonked out for hours. And when I woke up, the shit-ness of how I was feeling was emphasized.
But Zack was there.
"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty," he said, a smile twitching at his lips.
"Unless you want me to beat you into an unrecognisable pulp, you will help me," I growled.
"Morphine wore off?" Zack asked. Why, why, WHY must he look so completely hot and wonderful while I look and feel like something that was recently scraped off the pavement?
"Wow, you have ESP," I retorted. "I feel gross, I'm starving and my shoulder is killing me."
"Okay," Zack stood up. "I am going to go and get you some pizza. While you eat, I'll go to Logan's, get you some clean clothes, and you can shower. Okay?"
I shrugged. "I guess. Can I have some chocolate, too?"
"I think I can manage that," Zack grinned. "I'll be back soon."
Zack left, and I leafed through some boring magazines about Pre-Pulse celebrities.
"Knock, knock."
I looked up, to see Syl at the door.
"Hey," I smiled. "How are you feeling?"
Syl grinned back, rolling her eyes. "You're so complex Jon. God, you're the one who is lying in the hospital bed, and you're asking me how I am."
"Thank you," I managed a smile. "And the last time I saw you, you were lying in Krit's arms with a scrape across your face. I have concern."
"And every one is concerned about you," Syl sat at the end of my bed. "How you feel, baby sister?"
"Like the morphine just wore off," I moaned. "Zack's gone to get me food, clothes and hopefully chocolate."
Syl nodded. "He's been so depressed. It was almost poetic; you lying in the hospital bed, all pale and delicate, him being all Zacky and it was cute in a 'my-big-brother-totally-wants-you-back way." Syl smiled angelically at me.
"How is it that you, Tinga, Max, Zane and Alec all know more about what I should do with my love life than I do?" I demanded.
"Because we're on the outside looking in," Syl replied. "Krit'll be in soon as well."
"Surprisingly, everyone was meant to have all this concern for my well being, but I see no chocolate or flowers," I said in a half-whining, half-teasing voice.
"I'll mention that to Zack," Syl said with a grin. I stuck my tongue out at her. "I think he was kinda disappointed he couldn't take total disadvantage of you during your heat cycle."
I blinked. That must have been why I had such shocking fevers, I was in heat. Cool, no sedatives or decisions-I'll-regret.
So, Syl and I spent half an hour joking around, paging through those old entertainment magazines, and choosing clothes we'd kill to own. Then Krit appeared, with a small block of chocolate Syl and I wolfed down in seconds.
Then, Zack got back, with pizza, chocolate and a bag of clothes.
Syl and Krit decided to make themselves scarce then, and on her way out, Syl whispered something at Zack. I missed it, too busy trying to break the world record for fastest-devouring-of-pizza.
"Feel better?" Zack asked, sitting in the chair.
"Yes," I grinned around a mouthful of pizza. "Want some?"
As Zack took a piece, I noticed how tired and drawn he looked. He was unshaved, which was very sexy. I thought about Syl's vague reference to him staying by my bedside… and I hated causing him worry and pain.
"Everyone is getting released tomorrow at 10 am," Zack said. "So, I'm taking tonight off to crash at Logan's and catch up on some sleep."
"You look totally tensed and stress," I said. "Sleep, and feel better tomorrow. I plan to."
Zack gave me a confused look.
"You think I am staying here again tonight?" I said. "As if. I am now going to have a shower, and when I get out, you and I will be releasing me." With a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth smile, I grabbed the bag from Zack and went into the private bathroom. With the bloody drip, on its stand. It made the whole process very awkward, but I haven't had a hot shower in weeks; contrary to popular opinion, Zane is a total hot water hog, and Syl and Krit have an evil habit of sneaking in together and spending ages in there. So, mmmm, hot shower. Clean hair, clean clothes and a stupid drip that was really pissing me off.
So, I pulled the drip out of my wrist, and it only bled a little tiny bit. So, I changed into the clothes Zack bought me - black jeans, and a ribbed singlet top in a pale purple colour, that bared my midriff so much, I think that this singlet must belong to Rain, and gotten mixed up in my laundry. Then, Zack had grabbed my black leather jacket. Thank god. I actually looked kinda hot in this outfit - I'll have to find out where Rain got this top, cause I so want one just like it.
Scooping up my clothes, I left the drip in the bathroom and went back out. Zack was there reading an outdated Cosmo, his eyes practically falling out of his sockets.
"Ready," I smiled prettily. "Hand me my chart."
Zack looked up. "I seriously don't think any of these positions are physically possible." I giggled. And he refocused and sort of half blushed. "Um, yeah. Sure."
He gave me my chart, and I unscrewed the pen, and gazed at Dr Carr's signature carefully. Within moments, 'Dr Carr' had signed my release forms.
"See?" I said, "I'm magical."
"Very good, Jon. But dontcha think there's something behind this whole 'stay over night' policy?" Zack teased, tossing the magazine onto the bed.
"It's a conspiracy," I winked and we left the room, heading to the nurses station.
"How about you and I go back to Logan's? Are you up for pasta or maybe a form of chocolate-y dessert? No one else will be there," Zack asked in a weird voice, his arm around my waist.
Maybe if his hand hadn't brushed my ass. Maybe if he hadn't said it in such a. . . vexing way. But I think it was the ass-groping that pissed me off. I'm one of those women who hates being treated like an object.
"So what?" I asked in a smart-ass tone, handing my chart to the nurse. "You want us to go back to Logan's place, stuff our faces with his food, drink his alcohol and have hot, crazy, passionate sex in his bed?"
A couple of the nurses looked up at that statement. I shot them an Evil Glare and turned back to Zack with an expectant look.
"I'll buy you a coffee, and we can talk," Zack said in a low voice. "Okay?"
I didn't acknowledge him, but turned back to the head nurse.
"Dr Carr released you? I thought he was in surgery," she said, giving me a sceptical look.
"He ducked up in scrubs, saying he really needed the room," I replied.
The head nurse handed me some more forms to sign, and I was free.
Zack took me down to the cafeteria to buy me a coffee. It is the only place in Seattle that you can buy coffee for less than twelve dollars a cup, but it's serious crap - tastes like dirt and chicory, which I cannot stand, and it sort of separates. Its revolting. But it has caffeine, so I drank some of it.
"What's wrong Jondy?"
I bit my lip. "Zack, I hate these half truthful hot and cold reactions towards me. One minute, you seem like you want something from me, like a proper relationship, and other times, you just look at me like I'm nothing. I deserve to know exactly how you feel and what you want - especially if it involves me."
Zack stared at his coffee. "Jondy, I thought I told you how I feel about you. Calling off the wedding, and lying about the reason was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. Not Ben, or Tinga dying or Brin getting recaptured, or even Eva getting shot. Losing you, and our relationship was the worst thing I have done, okay?"
"But how do we know it'll work? How do we know it wasn't just fate?" I replied. "You lied to me, Zack. And I don't think I can be second on the list of your priorities."
"Jondy, you are number one on my list of priorities!" Zack hissed. "I thought you would have gotten that by now! I fucked up, it was in the past."
I stared at Zack. "You totally know that I'm not even going to partake in this excessively pointless argument I feel we have every time we're alone together."
"Maybe if I felt I could talk to you, maybe we'd be married now," Zack hissed at me.
"Zack, trust me, if you and I were still arguing like this after what, four years? Of marriage, you can guarantee there would be a divorce pending," I retorted nastily.
"Every time we talk, you always avoid exactly what you're thinking and feeling. Shit Jon, can you give me another fucking chance? Please?" Zack was using this great voice I so wanted to learn, he wasn't yelling but the quiet tone sounded like a yell. "You can be such a god-damned bitch."
"Well, apparently you want another chance with this god-damned bitch," I said in a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth voice. I know I was being childish, but being called a bitch by my ex (who looks totally sexy when he's pissy with me) after we got in a petty argument over nothing really stung.
"Fuck you," Zack swore at me, and stood up, stormed off and left me, the supposed love of his very boring, fun-challenged life. Hmph.
Zack is so totally right, though; I am a god-damned bitch.
After choking down some of that 'coffee a la crap', I decided an impromptu visit to Max. Max was an eternal source of opinion and wisdom, and maybe the latter would be useful at this stage.
Oh holy god. Max and Evie are sharing a hospital room. It had a television and a phone, and every surface was covered with flowers - one from Zack, one from Syl and Krit, one from Charlie and Case. Heaps from Max and Logan's friends who'd heard Max was in hospital. And about five expensive bouquets from Logan.
And I didn't get any. Hmph.
"Jondy!" Max had be restlessly flicking over TV channels, with the various crappy soap operas. "You got discharged? How do you feel?"
"Yeah. I feel fine," I smiled. "I forged Dr Carr's signature." Max began to laugh and then gave me a funny look when I didn't. She motioned for me to curl up on the surprisingly large hospital bed next to her.
"What's up?" she asked gently.
"I'm such a bitch," I said miserably. "I was just totally evil to Zack. He was being all 'lets go and get back together' but I totally blew him off. Like, kicked his manly ego to the gutter and then mocked it some more. And then Zack called me a bitch - which I totally am, by the way. Why didn't I just through my arms around him and keep my big mouth shut?"
"Because, Jon, you had an argument. Remember you and Zack were always fighting like cat and dog when you were engaged," Max stroked my hair. "You've both got irrational, explosive tempers, and you both have strong personalities. Which was something that never got in the way of you and Zack before . . ."
"Before he decided that Manticore was coming back and instead of actually communicating with me, he'd rather lie, break my heart and shatter our family dynamic?" I retorted.
"You are such a drama queen, Jondy," Max sighed. "Zack was scared for you; and he knew if he told you straight out, you'd wait for the day he could settle down. He didn't want the risk of breaking a promise, especially to you."
I bit my lip. "Max, am I hard to talk to?"
Max looked at me. "Generally, no. Unless you don't want to talk about something in particular… like, say, Manticore. Then talking to you is a pain in the ass, because arguments are repeated and you talk in continuous circles. . .ugh," Max rolled her eyes, with a grin.
"Bite me," I said teasingly. "Okay, so you're married , with a kid and all. What would you do if you and Logan were in a similar situation?"
Max rolled her eyes. "I would chase his sorry ass down the hospital corridor. And then I would work it out once and for all."
I nodded, sitting up. "I might just take that advice," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "You know, like I said to Syl, next time I might just leave the details of my love life to you, Tinga, Alec and Zane. You guys all seem to know what I'm doing wrong."
"Scram, Jondy. Go find your man," Max threw a pillow at me. "And if you see Logan, ask him if I can have some mocha-chip ice cream. Ooh, and some lemon tart. And Christmas M&Ms," Max grinned at me.
"Max, where will Logan get Christmas M&Ms in May?" I asked. "Later my sistah."
And I went to find Zack.
I walked into the hospital hallway, my arms crossed over my chest, looking at my boots. I'd find Zack in the day room, I knew, playing with Evie, Maxa and Case.
And there he was; they were having a four-way battle on a beat-up X Box. They were having a great time. I leant against the door frame, watching them carefully. Zack really was great with kids; I guess he'd have to be, dealing with Max, Krit and I, being three and more years younger than the others. He did play with us quite a bit.
He'd make a great dad, I know that much. Not that I want kids soon. Maybe later on. I doubt I'll die or age or anything anytime soon, and I don't want to waste my youth when so many nightclubs remained unvisited. But I guess I can't imagine having a future, having kids, having a life without Zack playing the other role.
I brushed a lock of hair behind my ears and smiled. Then he looked up, eyes warm.
"You three can battle it out for while, okay?" he said, and jumped to his feet. He pulled me over to a lounge at the other end of the room and we sat down.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I can be a bitch sometimes; but…" I paused in my long winded grovelling-begging-apology, and looked into Zack's eyes. They tell me so much about him. They still held the laughter and fun of the last few moments. "I love you so much, Zack." And in true girlie style, my eyes filled with tears and I had to look down, so Zack didn't know I was crying.
Zack's touch was so gentle, as he brushed my cheek and made me look up, and I felt the tears run down my cheeks.
"I love you too, Jondy," he said in the best voice ever. It was romantic and sexy and I just wanted him right there and then.
He leant closer to me and all of a sudden we were kissing, and it was like the first date, with the first kiss but a billion times better because… it was me, Jondy, and him, Zack.
"Oooooh," Evie turned around with an evil grin on her face. "Jondy a-and Uncle Z-Zack…"
I pulled away from Zack. "Wanna go back to Logan's?" I asked saucily, with a wicked grin. "And you know. . . Logan's got chocolate sauce, honey. . . Jam." I tried so hard not to giggle when Zack heard that. He gave me a look that said it all.
"And I left that magazine in the room," he mumbled.
"I'm sure we can think of something." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. And this time, when his hands were all over my ass, I liked it.
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Zack had my motorcycle here, which is kind of a good thing; if we'd had any sort of car… well, cars have backseats, and the open invitation of a backseat would've been much too tempting.
Anyway, I drove (I totally insisted), and the whole time, Zack's hands were pushing up my tank top, among other things, and I almost got us into an accident on about five occasions. That is what happens when the driver of the bike hasn't had any since . . .you know, I mightn't work out how many minutes its been since I last had sex. It was scary last time, and 72 hours have passed or something, so it'll be scarier now.
I gotta learn to stop babbling.
I don't think we've ever made such good time to Logan's. In fact, Zack was pulling me off the bike before we'd stopped. I was trying so hard not to laugh. Even Zack was having a hard (ahem) time keeping a straight face as we half ran to the elevator.
As nice as it would've been to ravage each other in the lift, this professional-looking middle aged man was there, giving us evil gales. I buried my face in Zack's shoulder to stop myself from completely cracking up. (how is it when everything - well, almst everything - in my life works itself out, I get all stupid and giggly?) and Zack's arms were around my waist.
Lucky the guy got off on the 12th floor, and that gave Zack and I the remaining floors to make out, and grope and stuff.
The, we got to Logan's floor and instantaneously realised that neither of us had a key. Shit.
Zack began to pull one of my earrings out.
"C'mon," I rolled my eyes. "That'll never get the door open in time."
"In time for what?" Zack asked, with a glint in his eyes.
"Well, before I totally jump you," I said, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it so hard, the lock broke, the door opened and the doorframe was splintered.
Whoops.
Zack and I look at each other, slightly awkwardly.
"I'll go strip the guestroom bed cause in no way am I using the same sheets as Syl and Krit," I said, walking towards the guestroom.
"And what do you want me to do?" Zack asked, grinning like an idiot. Yeah, the promise of getting totally laid does that to guys.
"See if Logan has anything *fun* in his fridge," I called over my shoulder. Zack was a big boy, he could use his imagination.
The smell of pheromones from Syl and Krit's escapades almost ended the whole evening there and then. It actually turned my stomach. But I'm a pretty determined person. I pulled all the sheets and blankets off the bed, dumping them in the bathroom and opened a window, because the scent was positively mood-killing.
Zack came up behind me, his arms around my waist. And he was holding a tin. I didn't waste time working out what exactly in the tin - I pulled it out of his grip, turned to face him and tossed it over my shoulder onto the bed. Zack didn't protest (probably because we were making out, and he was trying to undo my jeans as subtly as possible) about me tossing it onto the bed, so it mustn't have been too important. Yet.
So, anyway, we ended up on the bed, half ripping each others clothes off. You know when you're trying to make love to someone, but both of you are laughing so hard?
That's how it was. Zack was laughing so hard, he couldn't undo my bra.
Sometime that night, we unearthed that tin. Whipped cream.
Yeah, you can have more fun with Ready-Whip, than I ever realised...
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AN: I'm aiming for 125 reviews in total for this fic. What can I say, I aim high :D I have goals and I like to achieve them! Title suggestions, plotline suggestion for the sequel etc are all welcome!
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AN: Wow, second last chapter. Rest assure that this fic will end on Chapter 21. And I am planning a sequel, I have vague ideas running around my head. But the most important thing I need is a title. Any suggestions are gladly appreicated. I hope you enjoy this, which was one of the hardest to write (fluff is harder than agst).
AN2: Thank you to Jacey for the amazing Ready-Whip quote. You are slowly taking over my position as Dirty-Msn-Name-Queen. To every single her left me a review in these last couple of weeks to update, I finally got rid of my Writer's Block. To Jacey who totally helped me sort out where this was going. Saviour! If you hadn't helped me sort it out, Jondy would've ended up miserable and alone ;)
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I hate hospitals. With a fiery passion. Not only just from my Manticore days, but from after the escape. Broken limbs, burns, a fever, seizures that almost killed me… the list goes on.
But after all my years spending time in hospital, it isn't the food that pisses me off so much, or the shitty nurses shining the flash light directly in her face trying to wake you up on purpose, mainly because they are too lazy to find out if we've died.
It's the communal bathrooms. I hate having to shower in a cubicle. I like a little bathroom, where I can just clean myself up properly and not have everyone checking out everyone else's pyjamas. The cubicle showers are slimy and filthy, the water is always dirty and cold, and there is no water pressure. And it's worse when you're seriously sick - the nurse comes with you, with the drip, and in that grimy shower, you have an old, nosy woman examining your tattoos and scars.
Don't even let me get started on sponge baths.
I don't really remember a lot of that night, having been shot in the shoulder and having a minor concussion, and seizures and being partially unconscious. You know how it is. I remember being carried into the hospital by Zack, Dr Carr, something bad happening to Max and finally coming to with Dr Carr pumping drugs into me, with Logan and Zack leaning over me. I remember yelling at one of them, but I can't remember what about.
So, all I know about this particular hospital visit was that when I finally woke up was that I was in a private room. In the Seattle Health Care System (and I use the word 'system' very loosely), when you have a private room, you have your own bathroom!
Rapture! Ecstasy! Woo hoo! I can shower properly.
So, I came too in a small, grey room, in a hospital gown, my hair sticking up everywhere and my mouth felt like sandpaper or a dirty sock. I sat up and examined the three machines around me. A drip, a blood transfusion and a heart monitor. Wonderful. I was half dead. Surrounded by so many life-supporting machines, I felt very exhausted and drained and had the sudden desire to curl up and sleep for the next twenty five years.
But, I felt like shit, wanted a shower and I felt jumpy; I think while I was unconscious I went through heat. At the same time, I felt great, sort of untouchable.
I grabbed the controls and hit the buzzer for the nurse.
Instead, I got Dr Carr, Logan and Zack. Wow. I'm special.
"Jondy, welcome back," Dr Carr smiled, winding his stethoscope around his neck, and picking up my chart. "How are you feeling?"
I lay back against the pillows (how is it that all the bed clothes and pillows in a hospital feel like they've been made with 90% paper?) and crossed my arms. "Like I've been shot."
Dr Carr laughed, and began to scribble madly in my notes.
Logan sat on the edge of my bed. "How are you feeling, Jondy?"
"Logan!" I said, throwing my hands up. "Dr Carr just asked me that!"
"Sorry," Logan gave me a grin. "Do you remember anything of the last two days?"
I lay back, running the last events over in my mind. "Nope, drawing a blank here. What happened?"
"You got a concussion, plus being shot in the shoulder," Zack said from the doorway.
"And you lost a lot of blood," Dr Carr said, looking up. "When we got you into the ER, you were seizing and generally a mess. But the bullet wound is healing well, and the lacerations on your back are almost healed up; and they shouldn't scar.
"You haven't rejected the blood transfusion, you look okay… I don't see any reason why I couldn't release you tomorrow, Jondy," Dr Carr smiled.
I frowned. "Can't I be released tonight?" I asked. "I hate hospitals."
Dr Carr shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. Tomorrow is my best offer."
I shrugged and turned back to Logan.
"How are the others?" I asked, twisting a lock of my hair around my fingers.
Zack came over, and took a seat in the chair next to my bed. "Jace had a severe concussion, and her arm is healing well. In fact, it was healing so well, they used a split and some bandages, they didn't see any point of a cast. Case had some burns, bruises and a sprain wrist - and serious dehydration. Evie has a concussion, two broken ribs and dehydration. Max…" Zack exchanged looks with Logan.
"What?" I asked, a lump of fear lodging itself in my throat.
"Jondy, you've been in a pretty bad way for the last two days," Logan said gently, but his eyes were full of worry. "We don't want to upset you."
"Just tell me!" I threw my arms up.
"There was a complication with Max's pregnancy. They are keeping her in for a couple more days," Logan replied, his voice hollow. "They thought she's miscarry, but they think she'll make it now."
I swallowed. I could almost mirror Logan's fear. Poor, poor Maxie.
"But, she will be okay," I said, my head feeling very light.
"Yes," Zack said. "Max will be fine. She'll stay at the hospital a but longer, but she'll be back to normal really soon."
I nodded, relief flooding me. "How's Syl?"
"Absolutely fine," Zack rolled his eyes. "She got out of hospital the night before last. She was our other concussion; you should all know better than getting hit on the head so much." He was teasing me, damnit.
"I'll make a note of that," I replied saucily. I'll blame the concussion on my lack-of-cool responses.
"And for the record," Logan stood up. "Maxa is fine, Zane and Rain are fine, Tinga and Charlie are worried about Case, so they are sleeping on cots in his room and Brin is off with Alec; something about Manticore flashbacks."
I raised an eyebrow, "Who gave you that reason?" Alec and Brin were totally getting it on.
Zack met my gaze. "I know exactly what you're thinking. I took Brin, crying, over to Alec last night. You've got a dirty mind, Jon."
I smiled prettily. "I'm as innocent as the day I was born."
"I remember that day; you were a pain in the ass back then."
"As long as you're fine, Jondy," Logan interrupted. "I am going to go and check on Max and Evie."
"Toodles. Tell them I hope they are feeling better," I called after Logan's retreating form.
"I think they'll be happier to know you're okay," Zack said. "Scared the shit out of us."
"How?" I asked, examining my chipped nail polish.
"You were in a coma. Well, they classified you as a coma case," Zack said. "Comas, high fevers, seizures and blood transfusions. Everyone was very worried."
I looked up at him. "Well, it that was the case, I'm dreadfully disappointed. I thought you'd all be in here, presenting me with huge bouquets of roses and confessions of devotion to me. All I got was you."
Zack laughed. "And I bet you feel honoured?"
"Nah. More like ripped off."
"C'mon, there are benefits."
"Like what?"
"Well, if everyone was here celebrating your consciousness, you couldn't take a shower."
"Zack, I'm in hospital," I retorted. "Queuing for a three minute dribble of cold water that eventually gives me hypothermia, and gives the doctors just cause to keep me in this hellish prison is not my idea of fun."
"Jondy, you were a coma patient. You got a private bathroom," Zack rolled his eyes.
I leapt out of bed, almost crumpled to the floor, and half-ripped the drip out from my wrist. "I have got to witness this magical event!" I said, as Zack helped me stand.
"It's a bathroom."
"A private bathroom."
And it was. All blue and pink, with a nifty little soap, and a phone, an emergency button and a chair in the shower. Wow.
I beamed at him. "Can you believe it? A private bathroom of my very own!"
Zack helped me climb back into bed, and picked up my chart. "I'm glad you're so happy about being here, and not at all distressed about being half dead - this should wear off in about an hour, when the morphine hit Dr Carr gave you, wears off."
I pouted. "Spoil my fun."
"Yes. Are you hungry, do you want anything?" He was surprisingly gentle.
I shook my head.
"Sleep for a bit, and come back down to earth," Zack pressed a kiss to my cheek. "I'll be back late."
"I hope you are," I said dreamily. It must have been morning then, because I totally zonked out for hours. And when I woke up, the shit-ness of how I was feeling was emphasized.
But Zack was there.
"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty," he said, a smile twitching at his lips.
"Unless you want me to beat you into an unrecognisable pulp, you will help me," I growled.
"Morphine wore off?" Zack asked. Why, why, WHY must he look so completely hot and wonderful while I look and feel like something that was recently scraped off the pavement?
"Wow, you have ESP," I retorted. "I feel gross, I'm starving and my shoulder is killing me."
"Okay," Zack stood up. "I am going to go and get you some pizza. While you eat, I'll go to Logan's, get you some clean clothes, and you can shower. Okay?"
I shrugged. "I guess. Can I have some chocolate, too?"
"I think I can manage that," Zack grinned. "I'll be back soon."
Zack left, and I leafed through some boring magazines about Pre-Pulse celebrities.
"Knock, knock."
I looked up, to see Syl at the door.
"Hey," I smiled. "How are you feeling?"
Syl grinned back, rolling her eyes. "You're so complex Jon. God, you're the one who is lying in the hospital bed, and you're asking me how I am."
"Thank you," I managed a smile. "And the last time I saw you, you were lying in Krit's arms with a scrape across your face. I have concern."
"And every one is concerned about you," Syl sat at the end of my bed. "How you feel, baby sister?"
"Like the morphine just wore off," I moaned. "Zack's gone to get me food, clothes and hopefully chocolate."
Syl nodded. "He's been so depressed. It was almost poetic; you lying in the hospital bed, all pale and delicate, him being all Zacky and it was cute in a 'my-big-brother-totally-wants-you-back way." Syl smiled angelically at me.
"How is it that you, Tinga, Max, Zane and Alec all know more about what I should do with my love life than I do?" I demanded.
"Because we're on the outside looking in," Syl replied. "Krit'll be in soon as well."
"Surprisingly, everyone was meant to have all this concern for my well being, but I see no chocolate or flowers," I said in a half-whining, half-teasing voice.
"I'll mention that to Zack," Syl said with a grin. I stuck my tongue out at her. "I think he was kinda disappointed he couldn't take total disadvantage of you during your heat cycle."
I blinked. That must have been why I had such shocking fevers, I was in heat. Cool, no sedatives or decisions-I'll-regret.
So, Syl and I spent half an hour joking around, paging through those old entertainment magazines, and choosing clothes we'd kill to own. Then Krit appeared, with a small block of chocolate Syl and I wolfed down in seconds.
Then, Zack got back, with pizza, chocolate and a bag of clothes.
Syl and Krit decided to make themselves scarce then, and on her way out, Syl whispered something at Zack. I missed it, too busy trying to break the world record for fastest-devouring-of-pizza.
"Feel better?" Zack asked, sitting in the chair.
"Yes," I grinned around a mouthful of pizza. "Want some?"
As Zack took a piece, I noticed how tired and drawn he looked. He was unshaved, which was very sexy. I thought about Syl's vague reference to him staying by my bedside… and I hated causing him worry and pain.
"Everyone is getting released tomorrow at 10 am," Zack said. "So, I'm taking tonight off to crash at Logan's and catch up on some sleep."
"You look totally tensed and stress," I said. "Sleep, and feel better tomorrow. I plan to."
Zack gave me a confused look.
"You think I am staying here again tonight?" I said. "As if. I am now going to have a shower, and when I get out, you and I will be releasing me." With a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth smile, I grabbed the bag from Zack and went into the private bathroom. With the bloody drip, on its stand. It made the whole process very awkward, but I haven't had a hot shower in weeks; contrary to popular opinion, Zane is a total hot water hog, and Syl and Krit have an evil habit of sneaking in together and spending ages in there. So, mmmm, hot shower. Clean hair, clean clothes and a stupid drip that was really pissing me off.
So, I pulled the drip out of my wrist, and it only bled a little tiny bit. So, I changed into the clothes Zack bought me - black jeans, and a ribbed singlet top in a pale purple colour, that bared my midriff so much, I think that this singlet must belong to Rain, and gotten mixed up in my laundry. Then, Zack had grabbed my black leather jacket. Thank god. I actually looked kinda hot in this outfit - I'll have to find out where Rain got this top, cause I so want one just like it.
Scooping up my clothes, I left the drip in the bathroom and went back out. Zack was there reading an outdated Cosmo, his eyes practically falling out of his sockets.
"Ready," I smiled prettily. "Hand me my chart."
Zack looked up. "I seriously don't think any of these positions are physically possible." I giggled. And he refocused and sort of half blushed. "Um, yeah. Sure."
He gave me my chart, and I unscrewed the pen, and gazed at Dr Carr's signature carefully. Within moments, 'Dr Carr' had signed my release forms.
"See?" I said, "I'm magical."
"Very good, Jon. But dontcha think there's something behind this whole 'stay over night' policy?" Zack teased, tossing the magazine onto the bed.
"It's a conspiracy," I winked and we left the room, heading to the nurses station.
"How about you and I go back to Logan's? Are you up for pasta or maybe a form of chocolate-y dessert? No one else will be there," Zack asked in a weird voice, his arm around my waist.
Maybe if his hand hadn't brushed my ass. Maybe if he hadn't said it in such a. . . vexing way. But I think it was the ass-groping that pissed me off. I'm one of those women who hates being treated like an object.
"So what?" I asked in a smart-ass tone, handing my chart to the nurse. "You want us to go back to Logan's place, stuff our faces with his food, drink his alcohol and have hot, crazy, passionate sex in his bed?"
A couple of the nurses looked up at that statement. I shot them an Evil Glare and turned back to Zack with an expectant look.
"I'll buy you a coffee, and we can talk," Zack said in a low voice. "Okay?"
I didn't acknowledge him, but turned back to the head nurse.
"Dr Carr released you? I thought he was in surgery," she said, giving me a sceptical look.
"He ducked up in scrubs, saying he really needed the room," I replied.
The head nurse handed me some more forms to sign, and I was free.
Zack took me down to the cafeteria to buy me a coffee. It is the only place in Seattle that you can buy coffee for less than twelve dollars a cup, but it's serious crap - tastes like dirt and chicory, which I cannot stand, and it sort of separates. Its revolting. But it has caffeine, so I drank some of it.
"What's wrong Jondy?"
I bit my lip. "Zack, I hate these half truthful hot and cold reactions towards me. One minute, you seem like you want something from me, like a proper relationship, and other times, you just look at me like I'm nothing. I deserve to know exactly how you feel and what you want - especially if it involves me."
Zack stared at his coffee. "Jondy, I thought I told you how I feel about you. Calling off the wedding, and lying about the reason was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. Not Ben, or Tinga dying or Brin getting recaptured, or even Eva getting shot. Losing you, and our relationship was the worst thing I have done, okay?"
"But how do we know it'll work? How do we know it wasn't just fate?" I replied. "You lied to me, Zack. And I don't think I can be second on the list of your priorities."
"Jondy, you are number one on my list of priorities!" Zack hissed. "I thought you would have gotten that by now! I fucked up, it was in the past."
I stared at Zack. "You totally know that I'm not even going to partake in this excessively pointless argument I feel we have every time we're alone together."
"Maybe if I felt I could talk to you, maybe we'd be married now," Zack hissed at me.
"Zack, trust me, if you and I were still arguing like this after what, four years? Of marriage, you can guarantee there would be a divorce pending," I retorted nastily.
"Every time we talk, you always avoid exactly what you're thinking and feeling. Shit Jon, can you give me another fucking chance? Please?" Zack was using this great voice I so wanted to learn, he wasn't yelling but the quiet tone sounded like a yell. "You can be such a god-damned bitch."
"Well, apparently you want another chance with this god-damned bitch," I said in a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth voice. I know I was being childish, but being called a bitch by my ex (who looks totally sexy when he's pissy with me) after we got in a petty argument over nothing really stung.
"Fuck you," Zack swore at me, and stood up, stormed off and left me, the supposed love of his very boring, fun-challenged life. Hmph.
Zack is so totally right, though; I am a god-damned bitch.
After choking down some of that 'coffee a la crap', I decided an impromptu visit to Max. Max was an eternal source of opinion and wisdom, and maybe the latter would be useful at this stage.
Oh holy god. Max and Evie are sharing a hospital room. It had a television and a phone, and every surface was covered with flowers - one from Zack, one from Syl and Krit, one from Charlie and Case. Heaps from Max and Logan's friends who'd heard Max was in hospital. And about five expensive bouquets from Logan.
And I didn't get any. Hmph.
"Jondy!" Max had be restlessly flicking over TV channels, with the various crappy soap operas. "You got discharged? How do you feel?"
"Yeah. I feel fine," I smiled. "I forged Dr Carr's signature." Max began to laugh and then gave me a funny look when I didn't. She motioned for me to curl up on the surprisingly large hospital bed next to her.
"What's up?" she asked gently.
"I'm such a bitch," I said miserably. "I was just totally evil to Zack. He was being all 'lets go and get back together' but I totally blew him off. Like, kicked his manly ego to the gutter and then mocked it some more. And then Zack called me a bitch - which I totally am, by the way. Why didn't I just through my arms around him and keep my big mouth shut?"
"Because, Jon, you had an argument. Remember you and Zack were always fighting like cat and dog when you were engaged," Max stroked my hair. "You've both got irrational, explosive tempers, and you both have strong personalities. Which was something that never got in the way of you and Zack before . . ."
"Before he decided that Manticore was coming back and instead of actually communicating with me, he'd rather lie, break my heart and shatter our family dynamic?" I retorted.
"You are such a drama queen, Jondy," Max sighed. "Zack was scared for you; and he knew if he told you straight out, you'd wait for the day he could settle down. He didn't want the risk of breaking a promise, especially to you."
I bit my lip. "Max, am I hard to talk to?"
Max looked at me. "Generally, no. Unless you don't want to talk about something in particular… like, say, Manticore. Then talking to you is a pain in the ass, because arguments are repeated and you talk in continuous circles. . .ugh," Max rolled her eyes, with a grin.
"Bite me," I said teasingly. "Okay, so you're married , with a kid and all. What would you do if you and Logan were in a similar situation?"
Max rolled her eyes. "I would chase his sorry ass down the hospital corridor. And then I would work it out once and for all."
I nodded, sitting up. "I might just take that advice," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "You know, like I said to Syl, next time I might just leave the details of my love life to you, Tinga, Alec and Zane. You guys all seem to know what I'm doing wrong."
"Scram, Jondy. Go find your man," Max threw a pillow at me. "And if you see Logan, ask him if I can have some mocha-chip ice cream. Ooh, and some lemon tart. And Christmas M&Ms," Max grinned at me.
"Max, where will Logan get Christmas M&Ms in May?" I asked. "Later my sistah."
And I went to find Zack.
I walked into the hospital hallway, my arms crossed over my chest, looking at my boots. I'd find Zack in the day room, I knew, playing with Evie, Maxa and Case.
And there he was; they were having a four-way battle on a beat-up X Box. They were having a great time. I leant against the door frame, watching them carefully. Zack really was great with kids; I guess he'd have to be, dealing with Max, Krit and I, being three and more years younger than the others. He did play with us quite a bit.
He'd make a great dad, I know that much. Not that I want kids soon. Maybe later on. I doubt I'll die or age or anything anytime soon, and I don't want to waste my youth when so many nightclubs remained unvisited. But I guess I can't imagine having a future, having kids, having a life without Zack playing the other role.
I brushed a lock of hair behind my ears and smiled. Then he looked up, eyes warm.
"You three can battle it out for while, okay?" he said, and jumped to his feet. He pulled me over to a lounge at the other end of the room and we sat down.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I can be a bitch sometimes; but…" I paused in my long winded grovelling-begging-apology, and looked into Zack's eyes. They tell me so much about him. They still held the laughter and fun of the last few moments. "I love you so much, Zack." And in true girlie style, my eyes filled with tears and I had to look down, so Zack didn't know I was crying.
Zack's touch was so gentle, as he brushed my cheek and made me look up, and I felt the tears run down my cheeks.
"I love you too, Jondy," he said in the best voice ever. It was romantic and sexy and I just wanted him right there and then.
He leant closer to me and all of a sudden we were kissing, and it was like the first date, with the first kiss but a billion times better because… it was me, Jondy, and him, Zack.
"Oooooh," Evie turned around with an evil grin on her face. "Jondy a-and Uncle Z-Zack…"
I pulled away from Zack. "Wanna go back to Logan's?" I asked saucily, with a wicked grin. "And you know. . . Logan's got chocolate sauce, honey. . . Jam." I tried so hard not to giggle when Zack heard that. He gave me a look that said it all.
"And I left that magazine in the room," he mumbled.
"I'm sure we can think of something." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. And this time, when his hands were all over my ass, I liked it.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Zack had my motorcycle here, which is kind of a good thing; if we'd had any sort of car… well, cars have backseats, and the open invitation of a backseat would've been much too tempting.
Anyway, I drove (I totally insisted), and the whole time, Zack's hands were pushing up my tank top, among other things, and I almost got us into an accident on about five occasions. That is what happens when the driver of the bike hasn't had any since . . .you know, I mightn't work out how many minutes its been since I last had sex. It was scary last time, and 72 hours have passed or something, so it'll be scarier now.
I gotta learn to stop babbling.
I don't think we've ever made such good time to Logan's. In fact, Zack was pulling me off the bike before we'd stopped. I was trying so hard not to laugh. Even Zack was having a hard (ahem) time keeping a straight face as we half ran to the elevator.
As nice as it would've been to ravage each other in the lift, this professional-looking middle aged man was there, giving us evil gales. I buried my face in Zack's shoulder to stop myself from completely cracking up. (how is it when everything - well, almst everything - in my life works itself out, I get all stupid and giggly?) and Zack's arms were around my waist.
Lucky the guy got off on the 12th floor, and that gave Zack and I the remaining floors to make out, and grope and stuff.
The, we got to Logan's floor and instantaneously realised that neither of us had a key. Shit.
Zack began to pull one of my earrings out.
"C'mon," I rolled my eyes. "That'll never get the door open in time."
"In time for what?" Zack asked, with a glint in his eyes.
"Well, before I totally jump you," I said, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it so hard, the lock broke, the door opened and the doorframe was splintered.
Whoops.
Zack and I look at each other, slightly awkwardly.
"I'll go strip the guestroom bed cause in no way am I using the same sheets as Syl and Krit," I said, walking towards the guestroom.
"And what do you want me to do?" Zack asked, grinning like an idiot. Yeah, the promise of getting totally laid does that to guys.
"See if Logan has anything *fun* in his fridge," I called over my shoulder. Zack was a big boy, he could use his imagination.
The smell of pheromones from Syl and Krit's escapades almost ended the whole evening there and then. It actually turned my stomach. But I'm a pretty determined person. I pulled all the sheets and blankets off the bed, dumping them in the bathroom and opened a window, because the scent was positively mood-killing.
Zack came up behind me, his arms around my waist. And he was holding a tin. I didn't waste time working out what exactly in the tin - I pulled it out of his grip, turned to face him and tossed it over my shoulder onto the bed. Zack didn't protest (probably because we were making out, and he was trying to undo my jeans as subtly as possible) about me tossing it onto the bed, so it mustn't have been too important. Yet.
So, anyway, we ended up on the bed, half ripping each others clothes off. You know when you're trying to make love to someone, but both of you are laughing so hard?
That's how it was. Zack was laughing so hard, he couldn't undo my bra.
Sometime that night, we unearthed that tin. Whipped cream.
Yeah, you can have more fun with Ready-Whip, than I ever realised...
*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: I'm aiming for 125 reviews in total for this fic. What can I say, I aim high :D I have goals and I like to achieve them! Title suggestions, plotline suggestion for the sequel etc are all welcome!
