Mali: Well. 18 reviews. Yay. (Does the happy dance)
Yugi: GIVE IT A REST WITH THE GOD DAMN HAPPY DANCE!
Yami: Oh, let her have her fun, Aibou, she has a sad life...
Mali: Hey, do you wanna go watch the sunrise with Jamie or not?
Yami and Yugi: We'll be good.
Mali: Good boys. (Pats them on the head)
Yami: (Grumbling) This is so degrading...
Yugi: Tell me about it...
Mali: Sooo... thanks to; The Ice Queen, Yami Maleci, lovova, Princess Strawberry, fantasychick, Neon (ya bloody nutcase ;D), Kurayami Ryuu, Dragonia, Shortyredd17, britt0298, nife, DustyStars and yugiohlover- youse all rock!
Yugi: She don't own nothin'...
Cheezels!
Chapter 4 - Score One For The Happy Dance
Ryou sighed as Yami yelled another sudden insult at Jou.
"You're like Rich Fidler on acid, that's what you're like!" he snapped bad-temperedly.
"..Who's Rich Fidler?" asked Jou, confused.
"Some guy..." Ryou said, straining to remember. "I vaguely remember... two other guys... and a guitar... and laughter..."
"No one cares-" Yugi began to sigh, before he was interrupted by a sudden guitar riff.
"Funk you!" sang Yami. "And funk your mother! Funk your sister, funk your aunty and funk your little brother! And when you've learned how to... funk one another, don't leave that groovy thing thing on the she-elf.. go home to the one-"
"Yami, shut up." Mai said impatiently.
Yami slammed the guitar down, scowling.
Unfortunately, this caused it to smash.
"Oh, shit." Yami whispered, horrified.
Yugi started laughing. "That was smart..."
When Yami made no reply save for staring at the guitar with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open, Ryou snapped his fingers in front of his face.
"I think he's gone into ketosis..." he said nervously, after Yami continued to sit there in paralysis.
"Do you even know what ketosis is?" asked Jou incredulously.
"... Well, no..." admitted Ryou.
"AHA, you dumbass." grinned Jou.
"Do you know what it is?"
Jou blinked. "Um..."
Ryou smirked. "That's right, Jou, you don't... so YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! HOW CAN YOU SAY... I GO ABOUT THINGS THE WRONG WAY?! I AM HUMAN AND I NEED TO BE LOVED... JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES! SEE I'VE-"
Honda emerged from the closet and smacked Ryou in the head. "Shut up! You're the worst singer in the world!"
Bakura glared. "Say that again, Honda." he hissed.
"You're the worst singer in the world."
BANG!
"That's what ya get for insulting Ryou." Bakura grinned evilly, dusting his hands off.
"Honda, before you go, there's something I want you to have..." Honda said deliriously, surrounded by the rubble that used to be the stereo. "Oh, it's beautiful! But, wait a minute... isn't this...?"
"Seto is NOT gonna like that..." Mai sighed.
"Like what?" asked Yugi.
How cute was it when Bakura protected Ryou like that?
But he was fighting with Yami, so he could forget about that...
"The guitar and the stereo, dead, allllll gone..." Mai said crazily.
Yugi cast his eyes over Yami to find him still staring at the broken guitar.
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Yami had uncovered his true self; the retard..." he sighed, struggling to keep the playful grin off his face.
Ryou made an annoyed noise in his throat.
/I am THIS far from shutting them in a closet./
//... Mmm... out for a little 'entertainment', are we? Gonna get the video link-up, are we?//
/I don't mean THAT!/
//You expect them to make up in a CLOSET? Make out in a closet, yes, but not make up in a closet. It's not right.//
/Yeah, okay, whatever, keep your pants on.../
//What if I don't want to?//
/..... NO!/
//Alright, alright...//
/And, besides, if we get them back together before Seto gets back, the author said her cousin's gonna take us down to the beach to watch the sun rise./
//Ooooh....//
MEANWHILE, BACK WITH OUR EVIL WANNABES...
"I am Pegasus..." sang Pegasus. "My name means horse... and I can... fly-hi with you... but I've changed my course..."
"Pegasus, it's funny the first three times, but after it hits the thousand mark, it really pisses everyone off!" snapped Weevil.
"Weevil, just hearing you speak pisses everyone off..." retorted Evil Seto, who was giving himself a French manicure.
"Yeah, well, watching you give yourself a pansy make-over pisses me off!" yelled Weevil.
"Aha. Not funny. I happen to like clean nails." Evil Seto flicked his eyes over Weevil's nails. "Eww..." he shuddered. "Look at the dirt and the LED and the dried bug guts..."
Some guy opened the door. "Uh, you're on in five, Miss Goodrem."
Delta looked up. "Ah, thanks." she said shyly. Then music started up. "My innocent eyeees..." she sang eerily. "I miss those days, and I miss those wa-ays... when I got-"
Evil Seto scowled. "Look, Delta, we said you couldn't do your film clip here."
Delta pouted. "Aw, please?" she asked, batting her eyelashes.
"No, Delta. Now get out," he pointed out the door.
Delta jumped up. "Fine. But you don't get any profits from my single." She stormed out.
"LIKE IT'LL BEE A HIT!" called Evil Seto, rolling his eyes. "Annoying little Croatian upstart."
"She's not Croatian..." snapped Rex.
"What is she then, Rex?" Evil Seto sighed, exasperated.
"Australian."
Evil Seto snorted at this. "As if!" he cried, shaking his head.
"No, she is." said Pegasus.
"No one asked you!" yelled Evil Seto.
"Shaddup, Mr. Crankypants..." mumbled Pegasus.
But no one heard him.
"Well, DUH!" screamed Rex. "HE JUST MUMBLED, FOR GOD'S SAKE! OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GONNA HEAR HIM!"
"REX! HAVE SOME GOD DAMN PARACETAMOL INFESTED CAPSULES AND GO TO SLEEP!" yelled Pegasus.
"STOP YELLING!" cried Weevil.
"WHY DON'T YOU STOP YELLING?!" Pegasus shot back.
"'CUZ I DON'T WANNA!"
"Go shorty, it's your birthday, we're gonna-" sang Rex all of sudden.
Evil Seto threw a tray of custard puffs at him. "Shut the hell up! You know I hate Fifty Cent!"
"NO!" shrieked Weevil. "MY CUSTARD PUFFS! I MADE THOSE FOR GRANDMA!"
"Are you nuts? I fed one to my goldfish, and now he's closer to God." Evil Seto sighed, shaking his head.
"I hate my Grandma." explained Weevil.
"Ahhh..." nodded Evil Seto.
MEANWHILE, UP IN THE BATHROOM...
Yami Clone drummed his fingers on the shower door. What he was doing in the shower is anyone's guess, but all that mattered was that he had not thought of a plan for vengeance.
And he had to do so.
Maybe t.A.T.u would help.
Sadly, t.A.T.u were in Russia, so they couldn't help.
How he remembered the days when him, Julia and Lena would run through the fields of barley, where the west wind-
Hang on, that wasn't his life. That was the Sting song.
"Damn, there must be something I can-" He froze, then grinned. "Rebecca." he said evilly. "Ah, yes, Rebecca. Why didn't I think of it before?"
"Dude..." sighed Malice, suddenly appearing in a flash of red light. "Why don't you just resurrect Anzu as well?"
Yami Clone glanced into Malice's brown eyes. "Good idea. Now rack off. I told you to leave me alone."
Malice scowled. "Fine." he sniffed. "Just don't expect any more help..." He vanished.
Yami Clone rubbed his hands together. "Mwahaha..." he giggled evilly.
DOWNSTAIRS...
Yami jerked out of his stupor with a shriek. "NO, NOT REBECCA!" he screamed, twitching.
Jou stared. "Yeah, I hate her, too..."
Yami shook him roughly. "No, you nutjob knobend excuse for an intelligent life-form, Yami Clone's gonna set Rebecca and Anzu on me to get revenge!" He buried his face in his hands. "Oh, Re, oh no, this isn't fair, damnitt, this is so gay-"
Ryou snapped, "Yami, I understand you're upset, but please don't use homosexuality as a derogatory term. It's not right."
Yami trembled. "I know, I know, you're right, I'm sorry. I'm just panicky."
Yugi blinked. Yami Clone? Since when did...
Holy shit.
It all made sense now! It wasn't Yami in the bathroom... it was his CLONE!
Bakura looked at his non existent watch. "Gee... I think it's time I went to consult the author about something... I'll be back soon..." He walked through the wall.
Yugi stared. "Whoa, how did he do that?"
Yami sighed. "It's like a vortex to another dimension, but apparently it's all crazy and psychotic in there, so I'd keep away."
Yugi stuck his head through the wall, then immediately pulled back, shuddering. "Once is enough, thanks..." he said, shaking his head.
Yami looked concerned. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Yugi shivered. "Um, I'm just a little scared. Hold me, please?" Yami hesitated, then hugged him.
"VICTORY!" yelled Ryou, collapsing onto the couch, grinning.
Yami and Yugi stared. "Yesss, Ryou..." Yugi said, a little bewildered.
"Now kiss and make up. Go on. Say sorry for being stupid." Ryou waved them on.
Yugi blushed. Yami glared at everyone. "Yeah, well, get lost. All of you."
"Aw, but-!" cried Ryou.
"Out." Yami said firmly.
Everyone left, grumbling.
"At least we get to go to the beach and watch the sunrise with Jamie!" said Ryou brightly.
"Who's Jamie?" asked Mai, blinking owlishly.
"He's- actually, maybe I should let you find out yourself..." Ryou mused. "Now shaddup." he said, activating the video link-up.
BACK IN THE DINING ROOM...
"Yami, I'm sorry I got so worked up about nothing." Yugi said shamefully.
Yami shook his head. "No, don't. It's not your fault. You didn't know about Yami Clone or anything."
Yugi shrugged. "Forgive me?" he said, smiling shyly.
Yami grinned. "'Course I do." he said, pulling him into an embrace. He tilted his chin up, and leaned in-
BACK IN THE HALLWAY...
"Aw..." Ryou sobbed, in hysteria. "That is so cute!"
Everyone held their breath.
"Ohmigodohmigodohmigod they're gonna kiss!" Ryou shrieked from behind his hand while doing the happy dance.
YET ANOTHER TRIP TO THE DINING ROOM...
Bakura emerged through the wall."Well, that didn't go according to-"
Yami suddenly pulled away from Yugi, and gave Bakura an acidic look.
Bakura's eyes widened. "Oooh, sorry!" he apologized. "I'm sorry! I've screwed it now- oh Re- sorry sorry sorry..."
"'KURA!" screamed Ryou's voice.
Bakura backed out, looking embarrassed.
AND AS WE GO BACK TO THE HALLWAY...
Ryou grabbed Bakura's arm. "THEY WERE THIS CLOSE!" he hissed, holding up his thumb and forefinger to demonstrate. "THIS CLOSE AND THEN YOU CAME IN!"
"Ryou, leave Bakura be. He couldn't help it, ya know..." sighed Mai, shaking her head.
Ryou folded his arms and pouted.
"I'm sorry!" snapped Bakura. "Bash me!" He winced as Ryou tightened his grip spitefully. "Why do you even care?"
Ryou stared. "Because, Kura," he said slowly. "Yami/Hikari is the natural order of things. Anyone who gets in the way..." He drew a finger across his throat.
Bakura smiled. He like the evil psychotic murderous side of Ryou. He was so gorgeous when he was pissed off.
Seto suddenly smashed through the window on a surfboard. "Yo yo wassup?!" he yelled.
"HE HAS PIZZA!" screeched Jou, attempting to mimic the happy dance. Ryou laughed scornfully.
"You suck." he sneered, doing the slow-mo hair-flick.
Yugi sighed and walked out with a mop to wipe up Bakura's drool.
Yami bounded out, grinning. "Yugi... where are you going? Yugi, where are you going again? Are you going for a swim?"
Yugi only smiled and kept mopping.
"WAS IT THE CHAD?!" screamed Yami, overdoing it.
"The Chad was great." Yugi repiled, his voice shaking with suppressed laughter.
"Was he now?" asked Yami, his voice sinking to a silky tone. He moved and put his arms around Yugi's waist. "How great?" he whispered.
"... Really really." Yugi said, looking ecstatic. Yami smiled and kissed him.
"YAY!" cheered Ryou, grabbing Bakura and doing the happy dance with him.
"Hey, Ryou, can you teach me to do the happy dance and the slow-mo hair-flick?" asked Jou.
Ryou stopped dancing and glared. "No, you imbecile, for only I and occasionally my yami may do the happy dance, and only I may do the slow-mo hair-flick. Only I. For if anyone else attempts them, they will die a horrible horrible death. Or be forced to live with Rove... but that's a different story..."
"Awww, raspberries!" whined Jou, snapping his fingers.
Seto ran into the kitchen arrange the pizzas.
The doorbell rang.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" screamed Mai, doing a headcount. "We're all here..." she said.
Yami stared at the door. "I think..." he said, petrified.
Yugi's eyes grew wide. "Um, Yami, what's wrong? Talk to me, don't do that..."
Jou grimaced. "Someone open the door..." he said. Everyone looked at him. "No!" he cried.
Seto suddenly returned from the kitchen, stark raving drunk, smashed. off his head, with little parasols stuck in his hair and a Vodka Cruiser in his hand. "ALL WE ARE SAAAAAAYYYYYING.... IS GIVE PIE A CHANCE...." he sung drunkenly.
"... He managed to get drunk in the last three minutes..." Honda said, bewildered.
"Honda, get the door." snapped Yugi.
"But-"
"GET THE DOOR!" Yugi screamed.
"Meep!" whimpered Honda, going to the door and throwing it open. "ARGH!" he screamed, slamming it.
Seto hiccuped, then giggled. "Aw, Marcia, don't neglect our guests..." he drawled, opening the door again. He dropped the Cruiser. "HOLY GOOD GOD SHIT!" he screamed.
"Hey, Seto-" Yami said furiously, jabbing a finger at Yugi. "INNOCENT IN THE-" He groaned. "Oh, no...." he said. "Not them..." He buried his face in his hands. "SHE'S DIED TWICE ALREADY!" he screamed. "AND THE OTHER ONE'S JUST..."
Yugi peered around Seto. "... Anzu and Rebecca." he said, shivering. "Oh Good God this is gonna get messy..."
END CHAPTER 4
