Super Duper Ubervamp!

Chapter 2

...whatever.

A/N: Disclaimer's on the front page! Thanks for reading! Now review!! :)

Squall woke up to feel rope around his wrists and ankles. He wasn't quite sure where he was, either, but as he slowly opened his eyes he realized he was in a bathroom. A bathroom with a pink fluffy toilet seat.

"Where am I?" he called, only to see the slayer poke her head in the doorway, grinning.

"You're at my place! And you have to stay here because it's bright outside! Na-na-na-na-na!" she said, and smiled some more until she got a good look at his face.

"Do you have any...pets?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Only Angelo. He's the bestest dog in the world!" she said, and Squall nodded.

"Can I see him?" he asked, and Rinoa shook her finger.

"After I ask Irvine what you want him for!" she said, and Squall raised an eyebrow.

"Why would Irvine know why I want your dog?" he asked, and Rinoa shrugged.

"Irvine knows everything. He's a watcher." she said, and then lifted a hand to the bandage on her neck. "He was the one that saved me last night!"

"I wasn't going to kill you." he groaned, and Rinoa walked over to him, then realized why Squall was in so much pain-he was hungry! He hadn't eaten all night!

"Hang on...maybe Irvine can get you something to eat!" she said, and Squall nodded, watching her butt as she left the room.

"...nice ass." Squall muttered as soon as Rinoa was out of earshot.

*!*

Irvine Kinneas was just sitting on the couch, playing a hand of solitaire when she showed up. He didn't do anything wrong, unless you count playing cards by yourself wrong. He didn't deserve this-he already was watching the one, who was a total moron, for one thing. And Squall Leonhart was tied up in the bathroom, where they were hoping General Caraway would not decide to go in his brief thirty minutes of being at home. He had gotten used to Irvine being around, but a vampire in his bathtub? It'd probably give him a heart attack.

"Irvine Kinneas?" the woman called to him, and he turned around...to see the hottest chick he had ever seen in his nineteen years.

She was about 5'6'', blonde, blue-eyed, with a nice figure to boot. She also didn't appear to be much older than he was, which was another plus. He was the youngest watcher in history (That's what you get for killing my little brother! Death to all vamps!) but she was probably right behind him.

"Yeah, that's me." he said, and the woman sighed.

"Rinoa still has not completed her thirty hours of slayer training. And since she has not, I've been sent by the watcher's council to probate you."

"What's your name?" he asked, and she looked around for something to put her bags on, until Irvine took them and put them on the couch.

"Quistis...Quistis Trepe. Now where IS Miss Heartilly?" she asked, and, as if on cue, Rinoa bound through the doorway, a frown on her face. A frown that only deepened when she saw Quistis.

"He's hungry!" Rinoa cried, and Irvine rolled his eyes.

"Who is?" Quistis asked, and Irvine looked at her.

"Squall Leonhart. The ubervamp." he said, and Quistis's jaw dropped.

"He's here?"

"In the bathtub." Rinoa said, then put a hand on her hip. "Who are you?"

"Quistis Trepe, Irvine's probation officer. Now, let's see the ubervamp." she said, and they all walked into the bathroom, and Rinoa locked the door.

"Why the hell did you lock the door?" Irvine asked, and Quistis pulled out her weapon.

"My dad. Remember?" she said, and Quistis just shook her head and walked over to where Squall laid in the bathtub.

"Hello." he said calmly, and she raised both eyebrows.

"You were serious." she said, and both Irvine and Rinoa nodded. "The floosy is the one. I MEAN... Miss Heartilly is the one.''

"Yeah." Irvine said, and Squall began to chuckle.

"You look like a floosy yourself." he said to Quistis, who hit him hard in the stomach with her weapon. He let out a yell of pain, and she glared at him.

"For an ubervamp, you sure have a low tolerance for pain." she said, and saw Rinoa looking at her like she was crazy.

"..never mind." she said, and Squall sighed.

"Can I please have something to eat?" he asked, and Quistis and Irvine looked at each other.

"Is there a pet running around here?" she asked, but Rinoa stood up to her full height, and , on her tippy-toes, looked Quistis in the eye.

"You. cannot. have. my. dog." she said, and walked out.

"Well, I guess I could probably get some pig's blood." he said, and Quistis crossed her arms.

"And where exactly are you going to do that?" she asked.

"I'm good pals with the butcher." he said, and walked out.

''...whatever."