Split Infinity
By: Theo Javier
A/N: Not as funny as it will be, but soon enough, my readers, soon enough... (*evil laugh*). Anyway, I just drank a whole bunch of Creme Soda.... hahahaha.... Oh, big bug on my window.... Please excuse typos in this chapter and the prologue because I don't have a spell check on my wordpad, which is what I use to write.
Dsiclaimer: I own nothing, you know. I own my plot and a new mary sue that will pop up in chapter two...
Dedication: Everyone who actually reviews, because they deserve it. Seriously. I mean, I never get enough reviews to keep going, but that doesn't matter because I love writing and I'd write forever. But those people who review, you ROCK! ! ! ! Love ya.
*-*-*-*-*-*
chapter one
When Hermione Granger woke up on the floor of the girls' lavatory, her head pounding lightly and feeling disoriented. She pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes exhaustedly. Moaning Myrtle loomed above her, looking more depressed than ever.
"So, you've come to disturb me again!" she shouted. "Well I won't take it!" and then she flew off and disapeared. Hermione made a face and shook her head, but the movement only made it hurt more. She sighed and trudged out of the bathroom, her backpack feeling heavier than before on her shoulders. Glancing around the corridor, she found it empty. She wandered down the hall, hoping that she hadn't been out cold for too long. She knew she was probably missing more than half of Potions, and Harry and Ron were probably worried about her. Walking a little faster, she spotted four figures in the corridor ahead of her.
"Hey! Wait!" she called. "Wait!" She sprinted to catch up with them, and by the time she reached them, she was a little out of breath.
"What do you want, Evans?" asked one of the people. Hermione furrowed her brows, then took a look at them. She gasped and felt tears come to her eyes.
"Sirius?" she said in disbelief, before throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug. She started bawling and mumbling, "I thought you were dead... Remus and Harry..." She pulled away, surprised to see him a bit different looking. Instead of older with an aged but handsome face, he was younger, by many numbers, and still handsome. His hair was still dark but now neat, and his eyes still had a mischievous sparkle to them.
"Lily, have you gone mental?" asked another voice. Backing away from Sirius, she gazed at what looked exactly like Harry Potter. But his eyes were dark brown, not emerald green, and the boy was somewhat taller. He had messy, pitch black hair and the same glasses Harry himself had. This could only be one person.
"James? James Potter?" she asked in awe. "You're kidding me... But you're dead!" she exclaimed, and James gave her a look. "You and Sirius should both be dead... And Lupin," she said, turning to face him. His robes were still shabby, but his face wasn't lined, and he looked years younger, and his sandy brown hair was neater considerabley. Hermione felt very, very odd. She started backing away from them.
"Lily, are you ok?" asked Remus now. "You've gone really pale... Paler than usual... And you're talking nonsense. Do you want us to take you to Madame Pomfrey's?"
"Who's Lily? I'm Hermione Granger," she said, pulling her ponytail holder out of her hair to have something to do with her hands. Once she raked a hand through though, she knew something was wrong. Her hair wasn't as thick as usual, and it was longer. She grabbed some and took a gander...
Then she let out a high pitched scream and really started crying. "My hair... My hair is red," she said.
"It's always been red, Lily," said James, who was more afraid than any of them. He happened to be in love with her and she was acting like someone from St. Mungo's.
"I have brown hair. And my name is not Lily, it's Hermione. I told you that." She tried to stop crying, which caused her to start hiccuping. "God, this is so weird... I'm talking to my deceased friend's Dad, my hair is red, and ..." Just as she was about to finish the sentance, the hall became flooded with students, and she glanced to the fourth figure, and she immediately stopped crying. Her face changed to anger, and she glared at Peter Pettigrew. She clenched her hands in fists, so tightly her fingernails dug her flesh. "What are you doing here, rat?" she asked.
"W-w-what do you mean?" he asked, his beady eyes glancing from her to James to Sirius to her.
"I mean that you are a rat, in more ways than one. And you're lucky that we're here, and I don't have my wand on me, because I would do something I really would regret. I wouldn't fancy spending the rest of my life at Azkaban." She glared at him with all of the hatred that she ever had for the man and was shaking.
"Whoa, Evans," James said, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. He stared into her eyes and said, "Calm down. What are you babbling about?"
Shaking him off, she said, "I'm not Evans. Nor am I calming down! Peter Pettigrew was the entire reason you and Lily Potter died and couldn't raise Harry, the entire reason Sirius was in jail for so long! I can't believe you are still forgiving him for all of this!"
"Lily Evans, you have got to be out of your mind," Sirius said, staring at her like she was derranged. "What are you talking about? James and you are not married -"
"What do you mean, James and me? I'm not Lily Potter." She shook her head.
"There is no Lily Potter," James said. "There's only James Potter. And my parents, of course. But that's not the point."
"You mean...?" But that was all she could say, before she fainted.
James and Sirius and Remus exchanged looks, and Peter shrunk back. "What should we do? Hospital Wing?" Remus asked, motioning for Sirius and James to help him carry her. Once they got her up, James made a face. "God, what has she been eating? The entire cow?"
"Stop it," Sirius said. "I bet she hit her head in the loo. Or maybe that twit Malfoy did a memory charm on her." Shaking his head, he mumbled, "Sure did make up a wild story."
"Yeah, so how was Azkaban?" James asked before breaking out into laughter.
"Swell, how is marrying Lily?" Sirius retorted, shaking his head.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts in present time, Harry and Ron sat at their desks in potions, still waiting for their friend to come to class.
"Do you think she got kidnapped or something?" Ron asked, sounding concerned. "Because if she did, I'd pummel the guy..."
"I'm sure she's just running late. Maybe the stairways switched her because they knew she was running late," Harry said, sounding confident. "I'm sure that's what happened, or something like that..." But inside, he wasn't so sure Hermione was lost. If anyone knew Hogwarts, it was Hermione Granger. She had read Hogwarts, A History, more than fifty times, and since then, could always tell you anything you wanted to know.
But if that were true, then why was she so late?
*-*-*-*-*-*
TBC~
A/N: Not as funny as it will be, but soon enough, my readers, soon enough... (*evil laugh*). Anyway, I just drank a whole bunch of Creme Soda.... hahahaha.... Oh, big bug on my window.... Please excuse typos in this chapter and the prologue because I don't have a spell check on my wordpad, which is what I use to write.
Dsiclaimer: I own nothing, you know. I own my plot and a new mary sue that will pop up in chapter two...
Dedication: Everyone who actually reviews, because they deserve it. Seriously. I mean, I never get enough reviews to keep going, but that doesn't matter because I love writing and I'd write forever. But those people who review, you ROCK! ! ! ! Love ya.
*-*-*-*-*-*
chapter one
When Hermione Granger woke up on the floor of the girls' lavatory, her head pounding lightly and feeling disoriented. She pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes exhaustedly. Moaning Myrtle loomed above her, looking more depressed than ever.
"So, you've come to disturb me again!" she shouted. "Well I won't take it!" and then she flew off and disapeared. Hermione made a face and shook her head, but the movement only made it hurt more. She sighed and trudged out of the bathroom, her backpack feeling heavier than before on her shoulders. Glancing around the corridor, she found it empty. She wandered down the hall, hoping that she hadn't been out cold for too long. She knew she was probably missing more than half of Potions, and Harry and Ron were probably worried about her. Walking a little faster, she spotted four figures in the corridor ahead of her.
"Hey! Wait!" she called. "Wait!" She sprinted to catch up with them, and by the time she reached them, she was a little out of breath.
"What do you want, Evans?" asked one of the people. Hermione furrowed her brows, then took a look at them. She gasped and felt tears come to her eyes.
"Sirius?" she said in disbelief, before throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug. She started bawling and mumbling, "I thought you were dead... Remus and Harry..." She pulled away, surprised to see him a bit different looking. Instead of older with an aged but handsome face, he was younger, by many numbers, and still handsome. His hair was still dark but now neat, and his eyes still had a mischievous sparkle to them.
"Lily, have you gone mental?" asked another voice. Backing away from Sirius, she gazed at what looked exactly like Harry Potter. But his eyes were dark brown, not emerald green, and the boy was somewhat taller. He had messy, pitch black hair and the same glasses Harry himself had. This could only be one person.
"James? James Potter?" she asked in awe. "You're kidding me... But you're dead!" she exclaimed, and James gave her a look. "You and Sirius should both be dead... And Lupin," she said, turning to face him. His robes were still shabby, but his face wasn't lined, and he looked years younger, and his sandy brown hair was neater considerabley. Hermione felt very, very odd. She started backing away from them.
"Lily, are you ok?" asked Remus now. "You've gone really pale... Paler than usual... And you're talking nonsense. Do you want us to take you to Madame Pomfrey's?"
"Who's Lily? I'm Hermione Granger," she said, pulling her ponytail holder out of her hair to have something to do with her hands. Once she raked a hand through though, she knew something was wrong. Her hair wasn't as thick as usual, and it was longer. She grabbed some and took a gander...
Then she let out a high pitched scream and really started crying. "My hair... My hair is red," she said.
"It's always been red, Lily," said James, who was more afraid than any of them. He happened to be in love with her and she was acting like someone from St. Mungo's.
"I have brown hair. And my name is not Lily, it's Hermione. I told you that." She tried to stop crying, which caused her to start hiccuping. "God, this is so weird... I'm talking to my deceased friend's Dad, my hair is red, and ..." Just as she was about to finish the sentance, the hall became flooded with students, and she glanced to the fourth figure, and she immediately stopped crying. Her face changed to anger, and she glared at Peter Pettigrew. She clenched her hands in fists, so tightly her fingernails dug her flesh. "What are you doing here, rat?" she asked.
"W-w-what do you mean?" he asked, his beady eyes glancing from her to James to Sirius to her.
"I mean that you are a rat, in more ways than one. And you're lucky that we're here, and I don't have my wand on me, because I would do something I really would regret. I wouldn't fancy spending the rest of my life at Azkaban." She glared at him with all of the hatred that she ever had for the man and was shaking.
"Whoa, Evans," James said, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. He stared into her eyes and said, "Calm down. What are you babbling about?"
Shaking him off, she said, "I'm not Evans. Nor am I calming down! Peter Pettigrew was the entire reason you and Lily Potter died and couldn't raise Harry, the entire reason Sirius was in jail for so long! I can't believe you are still forgiving him for all of this!"
"Lily Evans, you have got to be out of your mind," Sirius said, staring at her like she was derranged. "What are you talking about? James and you are not married -"
"What do you mean, James and me? I'm not Lily Potter." She shook her head.
"There is no Lily Potter," James said. "There's only James Potter. And my parents, of course. But that's not the point."
"You mean...?" But that was all she could say, before she fainted.
James and Sirius and Remus exchanged looks, and Peter shrunk back. "What should we do? Hospital Wing?" Remus asked, motioning for Sirius and James to help him carry her. Once they got her up, James made a face. "God, what has she been eating? The entire cow?"
"Stop it," Sirius said. "I bet she hit her head in the loo. Or maybe that twit Malfoy did a memory charm on her." Shaking his head, he mumbled, "Sure did make up a wild story."
"Yeah, so how was Azkaban?" James asked before breaking out into laughter.
"Swell, how is marrying Lily?" Sirius retorted, shaking his head.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts in present time, Harry and Ron sat at their desks in potions, still waiting for their friend to come to class.
"Do you think she got kidnapped or something?" Ron asked, sounding concerned. "Because if she did, I'd pummel the guy..."
"I'm sure she's just running late. Maybe the stairways switched her because they knew she was running late," Harry said, sounding confident. "I'm sure that's what happened, or something like that..." But inside, he wasn't so sure Hermione was lost. If anyone knew Hogwarts, it was Hermione Granger. She had read Hogwarts, A History, more than fifty times, and since then, could always tell you anything you wanted to know.
But if that were true, then why was she so late?
*-*-*-*-*-*
TBC~
