"Are we good to go?" Colonel O'Neill demanded, the moment Sam Carter joined him next to the Stargate, at the top of a huge sand dune. Billowing clouds overhead increased the ominous atmosphere, adding to O'Neill's eagerness to leave the planet, and he anxiously looked past Carter, trying to spot Daniel.

"Chancellor Zurpy wanted to give us the blessing for departing visitors, sir," Carter reminded him, glancing at Teal'c, who stood guard at the DHD.

"Dumb planet with its dumb blessings and dumber ceremonies, like they ever even liked us."

"Even if we did get off on the wrong foot, sir, Zurpy did help us escape undetected."

"For crying out loud, they held us captive for three days because none of us had a name starting with 'z', so don't ask me to hang around just because you think this Slurpy guy is cute!"

"God, Jack, this place has the most amazing temple!" Daniel exclaimed, stumbling up the dune and coming to an excited halt beside Carter, who was blushing brightly.

"Hi, and don't even think about asking him to stay a while to study it," Carter told him, grinning, relieved at the chance to change the subject.

"If I have to remind you just one more time that we're due back in –" O'Neill checked his watch – "under an hour, I'll-"

"Jack, as interesting as this place is, I don't want to know what'll happen if we're not gone by the time Chancellor Zwickie wakes up, so if you'd care to give the order..."

"Kids," said O'Neill, solemnly, "let's dial it up."

"Let's give Chancellor Zurpy a few more minutes, sir, we don't want to offend them even more."

"Major, aside from the fact that they couldn't possibly be as offended as I am, do you remember what Hammond said he'd do if we were late again and made everyone worry?"

"Nail us up by the feet above the commissary doorway, sir," Carter recalled glumly.

"Oh, is that what he said – I thought he said he'd mail us some sheets from Norway, which now that I think about it doesn't make much sense," Daniel mused.

"Please, you must go, no time for the blessing, Zwickie is coming and he is angry!" Zurpy panted as he dashed up to them, arms flailing.

"Quick, Daniel, dial us home."

"Right."

"Shall I attempt to hold them off, O'Neill?"

"Teal'c, we don't have any weapons, and Daniel, hurry up!"

"Uh, yeah, I'm trying."

"Very nice to have met you, may the great God Zalooga bless your travels, please go, they have pitchforks and flaming torches, they say the offworlder female has bewitched me with her beauty and that's why I'm helping you and they may be right but I don't care, please, you must go!"

"We are on our way," Teal'c intoned solemnly, savouring the last of his only two lines in the story.

"Xenophobic lot, aren't they?" O'Neill asked, keeping an eye out for approaching pitchforks.

"Yeah," agreed Carter, hitting buttons on her GDO with a flourish.

"Zwickie, Zurpy, Zalooga," O'Neill muttered, following his team (for once unscathed) though the 'gate, "what the hell kind of planet was that, anyway?"