Oh Mario!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, or Luigi. In fact, everyone knows that. SO WHY DO PEOPLE STILL PUT A DISCLAIMER SAYING THEY DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS! WE KNOW! Ahem.

Theme Song

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Oh Mario!

What zany adventure will you have this week?

Will you have to bake a cake

Murder someone with a rake

Enter a dance competition

Or start a heroin addiction

Oh Mario!

You once went to Spain

And bought a kilo of cocaine

You always help everyone out

Too bad you lost your foot to gout

Oh Mario!

*Oh Mario is filmed in front of a live studio audience*

Mario: Hi everybody. Today's episode is very special, because we're tackling a very serious subject: illegal smuggling of hobos. So, without further ado, let's get this party started!

Luigi walks into the room, carrying a box.

Mario: Hey Luigi. What's in the box?

Luigi: Uhhhh...cocaine.

Mario: You're lying Luigi, I know it's an illegal hobo you're smuggling.

Luigi: Darn, how did you know.

Mario: You have to stop Luigi. Drugs are bad.

Luigi: Drugs? I thought we were talking about hobo smuggling.

Mario: Medicine's okay, but stay away from the stuff that ends with -ane, or -ana.

Luigi: I don't do drugs. I smuggle hobos.

Mario: Hey, it's not cool to cheat on a test.

Luigi: What?

Mario: It may be the easy way out, but if you want to have a clean conscience, studying and learning are your best choices.

Luigi: I haven't written a test in 8 years!?

Mario: Luigi, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.

Luigi: THE ONLY PROBLEM I HAVE IS HOBO SMUGGLING!

Mario: ...Drinking is for boozers, Drugs are for losers, Studying is for the best.

Luigi: STOP RANTING! SAY SOMETHING LOGICAL!

Mario: Well, that's it for this episode. I hope you learned a lot today, about the horrors of hobo smuggling.

Luigi: We didn't even talk about smuggling. You just ranted about drugs and cheating.

Mario: Well, whatever. Tomorrow's episode is about Luigi getting drunk and cheating on a test, and I'll teach him an important lesson about taking care of pets. Bye everyone!

Audience: Oh Mario!