Title: Home is where the Heart is
Author: Katrina Makani
Feedback: All feedback is welcome. ^_^ Just send it to marie@eminentharmony.net
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: While I can wish I own QAF, I don't. ;-; As much as that saddens me, it's true.
Summary: AU spin-off of episode 108; Justin moves in with Melanie and Lindsay after coming to a painful conclusion about Brian.
Chapter: 1
"He's going to get an extra special kick, later."
Justin winced faintly and shifted his gaze around the kitchen. He had to admit, it did look like shit. But he had planned on cleaning it up before Brian got home. Truth be told, he wasn't even sure Brian was even going to come home that night. Glancing up, he grimaced and let his shoulders slump a little. Neither of those facts would probably make any difference to the angered ad executive standing in front of him.
The rest of the conversation passed on deaf ears as the blonde retracted more into himself. Brian was angry and now he was pushing Justin away again. The young artist questioned whether Brian would really trick in front of him, but stopped the thought and gazed at the now cool Jambalaya. This was Brian Kinney. Of course he would fucking trick in front of him. It was stupid to even question that.
"Maybe we could have some of this after?" Justin smiled up at Hotlanta weakly. After? The teen didn't think he'd be there after Brian was done fucking the guys brains out. Azure locked with hazel and he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. What could he say? Nothing would make Brain defer all his attention away from the main that was now stripping in front of him. But the young artist stood firm. He wasn't going to let the older man push him away. Not without a fight.
He fidgeted a bit, but kept his eyes locked on Brian, intent on keeping his hazel eyes glued on blue. But as Hotlanta descended and Brian rolled his eyes shut, Justin couldn't watch anymore. He felt sick, nauseated, and bile was rising into his throat. He'd prepared himself for this, thought he could handle it. But actually witnessing it now.he couldn't take it. Without a word, Justin tore his eyes away from Brian and streaked towards the door, fumbling with his shoes and blindly grasping for the door at the same time. He felt like he was suffocating, like he'd been struck in the face. Was he really that much trouble? Did Brian really hate him so much?
'He must,' Justin concluded painfully, taking the stairs as fast as he could. 'I would hate myself too, if I were him.' The thought made his head (and heart) more than he would have liked, and as he reached the building door, he was racked with a wave of lightheadedness. His father had nearly killed Brian, he was taking advantage of his home, and his mother had probably done little to help Brian's growing frustration.
'We're not together,' Justin's face contorted in pain as Brian's words struck him again. As he trudged down the street, his feet started to feel heavy, his head full of haze. '.Given me the worst headache in my life.' That was all he was to Brian. A headache, a quick fuck. Justin was reeling. He'd never felt so rejected in all his life. It hurt to breathe, and it hurt to think about the man that had pushed him to the side, which was even more trouble because all he could think about was Brian.
That was it. Bending over, Justin vomited, to sick with thinking Brian didn't care to realize that other people were watching him. There was a hand on his back, but he jumped away from it, and haphazardly pushed his way down the street, not knowing where to go. The place he'd thought of as home wasn't accepting him and now, the place he'd always like to be home hurt too much to think about. He didn't know anyone else to turn to. Tears had started running down his cheeks as he'd thrown up his despair, and now, the flowed freely. He wasn't going to stop them, and, if he'd tried, he probably would have failed. He felt his heart break all over again and cursed himself. Brian had pushed him away before, so why did it hurt so much now?
Before he'd realized it, he was knocking on Melanie and Lindsay's front door. A light came on from inside and he leaned against the wall for support, sweat matting his brow and tears still fresh on his reddened cheeks. Lindsay answered the door and he gave her a shaky smile, trying to calm her anxiety. At least she was worried about him.
"Do you.do you mind if I stay on your couch tonight?" He asked in a rough whisper, trying to catch his breath. A cry from upstairs alerted him to Gus waking up and he smiled apologetically. She turned from his hesitantly, glancing up the stairs, and by the time she'd turn back around, Justin was already out of the front yard. Lindsay dashed after him in her slippers, pulling her robe around herself tighter before reaching for his arm. He stopped, but did not turn around. Great. Now he'd woken up the baby and made her come outside in the middle of the night. And in her pajamas no less. He was just screwing up everyone's lives now.
"Justin, come back inside and tell me what's wrong." Lindsay stated softly, tugging the boy back toward the house gently. He shook his head vigorously making a move to start forward again, but she stopped him with her other arm. "You can stay on the couch," She offered, and smiled for the briefest moment when that seemed to catch his attention. The boy's stomach gave a loud rumble and she couldn't help but giggle quietly, taking his arm in hers and turning him around. "And I'll make you something to eat. Cookies? With Hot Cocoa?" Justin hesitated for a moment more, but nodded reluctantly, and the two made their way back inside the house.
Melanie was waiting for them when they entered, cradling a sniffling Gus in her arms as she shifted her gaze to each with worry. Justin whispered an apology that was nearly audible, but Melanie waved him off with a quick kiss to the cheek before heading back upstairs to put Gus back down for bed. Lindsay shuffled into the kitchen, keeping her word and pulling out some packs for hot chocolate. Rubbing his face, Justin finally took note of the disgusting taste he still had in his mouth, and was relieved when Lindsay set a glass of water down in front of him, saying something along the lines of, "you look a little dehydrated".
"What happened, baby?" Melanie inquired when she re-entered the kitchen and took a seat next to Justin. Could he really tell them? He decided he owed them as much, since they were letting him stay there. But did he really want to get into all those feelings again? Did he really want to think about what had caused him to flee his new home? He'd keep it short and sweet. The elegant blonde that had been bustling about the kitchen smiled in understanding and set the cup of cocoa in front of him, silently urging him to take his time. He stirred the drink a few times, watching the chocolate drink become a work of art all on it's own, the colors dancing together as he twisted their tango in circular arcs.
".Brian had a.he had someone over. I didn't want to-" He stopped, biting his lip. "I didn't want to be there." Now that he heard it out loud, he realized how selfish that was of him. Now he was taking their hospitality for granted as well. He shut his eyes, waiting for one of them to tell him to get the fuck out, but it never came. Instead, both women placed comforting hands on his shoulder and whispered comforting words in his ear. Hearing them, knowing that these two really cared, broke him down and he couldn't hold back his pain, his anguish anymore. He let it all flow free as Lindsay rocked him in her arms and Melanie held his hand, rubbing the back of it lightly with her thumb. It was finally starting to sink in; Brian Kinney hated him. All his attempts to gain the other man's affection, or at the least, his friendship, had backfired and been thrown in his face. He was nothing. Nothing at all.
When he'd calmed down a bit, Lindsay and Melanie left him on the couch with a comforter and a teddy bear, telling them it always helped Gus when he was feeling ill. He lay away, staring at the white fluff in his hand as he blinked back his remaining tears. Justin sighed heavily, clutching the bear to his chest before rolling onto his side. He could hear voices upstairs, meaning Lindsay and Melanie were still up, and a whole new surge of guilt rushed through him. He'd apologize profusely in the morning, maybe volunteer to baby-sit for a month, no charge.
Despite all his confusion, he was certain of one thing: he wasn't going back to Brian's. At least, not when the other man was there. He'd get his stuff tomorrow, when Brian was at work and then that would be it. He was tired or being used as the back-up fuck, of always being pushed to the side, or Brian being so resentful toward him. He honestly hadn't meant to cause him so much trouble. But things had just turned out completely fucked.
The smell of pancakes and bacon met him as his azure eyes fluttered open the next morning. Turning his head, he caught Melanie and Lindsay finishing a kiss and had to smile. "Morning Justin." Lindsay called, slipping Melanie's hands down and sheepishly turning to the blonde on the couch. "How did you sleep?"
"Fine. It's a little lumpy."
Lindsay smiled sadly at her fellow artist and moved to sit next to him on the couch. When the boy started to apologize again, she silenced him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She and Melanie had been up a good 3 hours discussing the situation and she smiled at her lover who now sat on the other side of Justin. Giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, she nodded at Melanie, before removing her arm and placing both her hands in her lap, smile still in place.
"Justin, we want you to know that you can always come to us for help. No matter what." Melanie started, placing a hand on the boy's knee and making sure that he was looking her in the eye. "You don't have to be sorry about last night, because it wasn't your fault. If anyone's to blame it's-" Lindsay shot her lover a warning look, shaking her head and Melanie ran an annoyed hand through her short, raven hair. Right, no Brian. Despite how much she wanted to rant and rave about the idiocy of her son's father, she bit her tongue and continued, as if nothing had happened. "But we were thinking, being in the situation that you're in-" A pause, then a nod from Lindsay. "That maybe you'd like to just move in here."
"With you guys?"
Lindsay laughed a little at Justin's surprise, but took up the lead, leaning forward a little so she could catch his eyes. "Yes, here, with us and Gus." The young boy sputtered a few minutes, shocked and speechless. But.that would be a burden to them! He'd be in their way, just like he had been at Brian's.
"But I'd be in your way! It would be so much trouble for you guys!" He stated, shaking his head and staring at the ground. As much as he didn't want to go back to Brian's loft, he definitely did not want to intrude on any more people. He wanted to keep at least some of the friends he'd made.
"Oh, no," Lindsay cooed, shaking her head and placing a hand on his blonde hair. "Really, it's no trouble at all. We were thinking of renovating the attic, so that's where you would stay-"
"But not until it's done of course," Melanie put in, smiling brightly at the two people next to her. "You'd have to suffer on the lumpy couch until it was done."
Justin couldn't speak, couldn't think. Melanie and Lindsay wanted him to stay? With them and Gus? He wasn't going to be a burden? He felt the tears welling up in his eyes again, but blinked them back. But he couldn't stay here for free! He had to do something for them to make up for their kindness and friendship.
"I'll stay, if you let me baby-sit Gus for free for the rest of the time I stay here," He stated softly with a small smile, "And I'll need to get a job so I can get some things for my new room. And you have to let me help around the house." With his agreement in place, the girls beamed and threw their arms around their new Sunshine, nearly strangling him as they rocked him back in forth in their vice-like grip. "Is that a deal?" Justin croaked out, gasping for breath when they finally let go.
"Deal."
"Wait," Justin started, pulling away hesitantly so he could keep his hold on the two women, but still look them in the eye, "What about.Brian?" Of course Brian would be over. Gus was his son, Lindsay one of his closest friends. The boy paled considerably. He wasn't ready to see the ad exec just yet. He was afraid that if he did, he'd feel that sick rejection in his stomach all over again. And Brian would probably be mad, knowing that Justin, someone he seemed to despise, was spending so much time with his son. The blonde's gaze lowered and he dropped his hold on Melanie and Lindsay. He couldn't see Brian. Not until some time had passed and he was sure he could deal with the other man's rejection of him.
"Fuck him. He doesn't live here, now. You do." Melanie replied bluntly, taking Justin into her arms. Son or no son, it was true. Brian didn't live there and she swore to herself, if possible, she wouldn't let Brian hurt Justin again. To Justin's surprise, Lindsay agreed, though not in such harsh words and told Justin he didn't have anything to worry about. Brian hardly came by as it was. He'd very rarely, if at all, see him.
"Can we not tell anyone? At least, not for now?" Justin asked softly, eyes back on the floor. Sure, he'd tell his mom, and probably Daphne, but they never talked to any of the Liberty Diner Gang and he was certain that, with just them knowing, there was no way Brian could know he was there.
"You really don't want to see him?" It was a stupid question, this Lindsay knew, but she couldn't help but ask. She had though that Brian was getting somewhere with Justin. That her friend was actually starting to open up to someone. It hurt to know that she had been wrong in her assumption about Brian and Justin's relationship, mainly because she still felt that it could work. When Justin shook his head, she sighed, but nodded and smiled. "Then no one will know. Not until you're ready."
"Thank you so much, guys. I.I don't know how I can thank you."
"You could wash my car," Melanie replied playfully, pulling Justin up and toward the table, "But that'll have to wait until after we eat breakfast." Sitting Justin in on of the chairs, she placed a plate of food in front of him before wrapping an arm around Lindsay's waist and maneuvering to the other side of the table with her lover. The couple smiled at the teen from across the table and raised their glasses, ceremoniously, a few giggles of excitement escaping their lips.
"Welcome home, baby."
Author: Katrina Makani
Feedback: All feedback is welcome. ^_^ Just send it to marie@eminentharmony.net
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: While I can wish I own QAF, I don't. ;-; As much as that saddens me, it's true.
Summary: AU spin-off of episode 108; Justin moves in with Melanie and Lindsay after coming to a painful conclusion about Brian.
Chapter: 1
"He's going to get an extra special kick, later."
Justin winced faintly and shifted his gaze around the kitchen. He had to admit, it did look like shit. But he had planned on cleaning it up before Brian got home. Truth be told, he wasn't even sure Brian was even going to come home that night. Glancing up, he grimaced and let his shoulders slump a little. Neither of those facts would probably make any difference to the angered ad executive standing in front of him.
The rest of the conversation passed on deaf ears as the blonde retracted more into himself. Brian was angry and now he was pushing Justin away again. The young artist questioned whether Brian would really trick in front of him, but stopped the thought and gazed at the now cool Jambalaya. This was Brian Kinney. Of course he would fucking trick in front of him. It was stupid to even question that.
"Maybe we could have some of this after?" Justin smiled up at Hotlanta weakly. After? The teen didn't think he'd be there after Brian was done fucking the guys brains out. Azure locked with hazel and he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. What could he say? Nothing would make Brain defer all his attention away from the main that was now stripping in front of him. But the young artist stood firm. He wasn't going to let the older man push him away. Not without a fight.
He fidgeted a bit, but kept his eyes locked on Brian, intent on keeping his hazel eyes glued on blue. But as Hotlanta descended and Brian rolled his eyes shut, Justin couldn't watch anymore. He felt sick, nauseated, and bile was rising into his throat. He'd prepared himself for this, thought he could handle it. But actually witnessing it now.he couldn't take it. Without a word, Justin tore his eyes away from Brian and streaked towards the door, fumbling with his shoes and blindly grasping for the door at the same time. He felt like he was suffocating, like he'd been struck in the face. Was he really that much trouble? Did Brian really hate him so much?
'He must,' Justin concluded painfully, taking the stairs as fast as he could. 'I would hate myself too, if I were him.' The thought made his head (and heart) more than he would have liked, and as he reached the building door, he was racked with a wave of lightheadedness. His father had nearly killed Brian, he was taking advantage of his home, and his mother had probably done little to help Brian's growing frustration.
'We're not together,' Justin's face contorted in pain as Brian's words struck him again. As he trudged down the street, his feet started to feel heavy, his head full of haze. '.Given me the worst headache in my life.' That was all he was to Brian. A headache, a quick fuck. Justin was reeling. He'd never felt so rejected in all his life. It hurt to breathe, and it hurt to think about the man that had pushed him to the side, which was even more trouble because all he could think about was Brian.
That was it. Bending over, Justin vomited, to sick with thinking Brian didn't care to realize that other people were watching him. There was a hand on his back, but he jumped away from it, and haphazardly pushed his way down the street, not knowing where to go. The place he'd thought of as home wasn't accepting him and now, the place he'd always like to be home hurt too much to think about. He didn't know anyone else to turn to. Tears had started running down his cheeks as he'd thrown up his despair, and now, the flowed freely. He wasn't going to stop them, and, if he'd tried, he probably would have failed. He felt his heart break all over again and cursed himself. Brian had pushed him away before, so why did it hurt so much now?
Before he'd realized it, he was knocking on Melanie and Lindsay's front door. A light came on from inside and he leaned against the wall for support, sweat matting his brow and tears still fresh on his reddened cheeks. Lindsay answered the door and he gave her a shaky smile, trying to calm her anxiety. At least she was worried about him.
"Do you.do you mind if I stay on your couch tonight?" He asked in a rough whisper, trying to catch his breath. A cry from upstairs alerted him to Gus waking up and he smiled apologetically. She turned from his hesitantly, glancing up the stairs, and by the time she'd turn back around, Justin was already out of the front yard. Lindsay dashed after him in her slippers, pulling her robe around herself tighter before reaching for his arm. He stopped, but did not turn around. Great. Now he'd woken up the baby and made her come outside in the middle of the night. And in her pajamas no less. He was just screwing up everyone's lives now.
"Justin, come back inside and tell me what's wrong." Lindsay stated softly, tugging the boy back toward the house gently. He shook his head vigorously making a move to start forward again, but she stopped him with her other arm. "You can stay on the couch," She offered, and smiled for the briefest moment when that seemed to catch his attention. The boy's stomach gave a loud rumble and she couldn't help but giggle quietly, taking his arm in hers and turning him around. "And I'll make you something to eat. Cookies? With Hot Cocoa?" Justin hesitated for a moment more, but nodded reluctantly, and the two made their way back inside the house.
Melanie was waiting for them when they entered, cradling a sniffling Gus in her arms as she shifted her gaze to each with worry. Justin whispered an apology that was nearly audible, but Melanie waved him off with a quick kiss to the cheek before heading back upstairs to put Gus back down for bed. Lindsay shuffled into the kitchen, keeping her word and pulling out some packs for hot chocolate. Rubbing his face, Justin finally took note of the disgusting taste he still had in his mouth, and was relieved when Lindsay set a glass of water down in front of him, saying something along the lines of, "you look a little dehydrated".
"What happened, baby?" Melanie inquired when she re-entered the kitchen and took a seat next to Justin. Could he really tell them? He decided he owed them as much, since they were letting him stay there. But did he really want to get into all those feelings again? Did he really want to think about what had caused him to flee his new home? He'd keep it short and sweet. The elegant blonde that had been bustling about the kitchen smiled in understanding and set the cup of cocoa in front of him, silently urging him to take his time. He stirred the drink a few times, watching the chocolate drink become a work of art all on it's own, the colors dancing together as he twisted their tango in circular arcs.
".Brian had a.he had someone over. I didn't want to-" He stopped, biting his lip. "I didn't want to be there." Now that he heard it out loud, he realized how selfish that was of him. Now he was taking their hospitality for granted as well. He shut his eyes, waiting for one of them to tell him to get the fuck out, but it never came. Instead, both women placed comforting hands on his shoulder and whispered comforting words in his ear. Hearing them, knowing that these two really cared, broke him down and he couldn't hold back his pain, his anguish anymore. He let it all flow free as Lindsay rocked him in her arms and Melanie held his hand, rubbing the back of it lightly with her thumb. It was finally starting to sink in; Brian Kinney hated him. All his attempts to gain the other man's affection, or at the least, his friendship, had backfired and been thrown in his face. He was nothing. Nothing at all.
When he'd calmed down a bit, Lindsay and Melanie left him on the couch with a comforter and a teddy bear, telling them it always helped Gus when he was feeling ill. He lay away, staring at the white fluff in his hand as he blinked back his remaining tears. Justin sighed heavily, clutching the bear to his chest before rolling onto his side. He could hear voices upstairs, meaning Lindsay and Melanie were still up, and a whole new surge of guilt rushed through him. He'd apologize profusely in the morning, maybe volunteer to baby-sit for a month, no charge.
Despite all his confusion, he was certain of one thing: he wasn't going back to Brian's. At least, not when the other man was there. He'd get his stuff tomorrow, when Brian was at work and then that would be it. He was tired or being used as the back-up fuck, of always being pushed to the side, or Brian being so resentful toward him. He honestly hadn't meant to cause him so much trouble. But things had just turned out completely fucked.
The smell of pancakes and bacon met him as his azure eyes fluttered open the next morning. Turning his head, he caught Melanie and Lindsay finishing a kiss and had to smile. "Morning Justin." Lindsay called, slipping Melanie's hands down and sheepishly turning to the blonde on the couch. "How did you sleep?"
"Fine. It's a little lumpy."
Lindsay smiled sadly at her fellow artist and moved to sit next to him on the couch. When the boy started to apologize again, she silenced him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She and Melanie had been up a good 3 hours discussing the situation and she smiled at her lover who now sat on the other side of Justin. Giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, she nodded at Melanie, before removing her arm and placing both her hands in her lap, smile still in place.
"Justin, we want you to know that you can always come to us for help. No matter what." Melanie started, placing a hand on the boy's knee and making sure that he was looking her in the eye. "You don't have to be sorry about last night, because it wasn't your fault. If anyone's to blame it's-" Lindsay shot her lover a warning look, shaking her head and Melanie ran an annoyed hand through her short, raven hair. Right, no Brian. Despite how much she wanted to rant and rave about the idiocy of her son's father, she bit her tongue and continued, as if nothing had happened. "But we were thinking, being in the situation that you're in-" A pause, then a nod from Lindsay. "That maybe you'd like to just move in here."
"With you guys?"
Lindsay laughed a little at Justin's surprise, but took up the lead, leaning forward a little so she could catch his eyes. "Yes, here, with us and Gus." The young boy sputtered a few minutes, shocked and speechless. But.that would be a burden to them! He'd be in their way, just like he had been at Brian's.
"But I'd be in your way! It would be so much trouble for you guys!" He stated, shaking his head and staring at the ground. As much as he didn't want to go back to Brian's loft, he definitely did not want to intrude on any more people. He wanted to keep at least some of the friends he'd made.
"Oh, no," Lindsay cooed, shaking her head and placing a hand on his blonde hair. "Really, it's no trouble at all. We were thinking of renovating the attic, so that's where you would stay-"
"But not until it's done of course," Melanie put in, smiling brightly at the two people next to her. "You'd have to suffer on the lumpy couch until it was done."
Justin couldn't speak, couldn't think. Melanie and Lindsay wanted him to stay? With them and Gus? He wasn't going to be a burden? He felt the tears welling up in his eyes again, but blinked them back. But he couldn't stay here for free! He had to do something for them to make up for their kindness and friendship.
"I'll stay, if you let me baby-sit Gus for free for the rest of the time I stay here," He stated softly with a small smile, "And I'll need to get a job so I can get some things for my new room. And you have to let me help around the house." With his agreement in place, the girls beamed and threw their arms around their new Sunshine, nearly strangling him as they rocked him back in forth in their vice-like grip. "Is that a deal?" Justin croaked out, gasping for breath when they finally let go.
"Deal."
"Wait," Justin started, pulling away hesitantly so he could keep his hold on the two women, but still look them in the eye, "What about.Brian?" Of course Brian would be over. Gus was his son, Lindsay one of his closest friends. The boy paled considerably. He wasn't ready to see the ad exec just yet. He was afraid that if he did, he'd feel that sick rejection in his stomach all over again. And Brian would probably be mad, knowing that Justin, someone he seemed to despise, was spending so much time with his son. The blonde's gaze lowered and he dropped his hold on Melanie and Lindsay. He couldn't see Brian. Not until some time had passed and he was sure he could deal with the other man's rejection of him.
"Fuck him. He doesn't live here, now. You do." Melanie replied bluntly, taking Justin into her arms. Son or no son, it was true. Brian didn't live there and she swore to herself, if possible, she wouldn't let Brian hurt Justin again. To Justin's surprise, Lindsay agreed, though not in such harsh words and told Justin he didn't have anything to worry about. Brian hardly came by as it was. He'd very rarely, if at all, see him.
"Can we not tell anyone? At least, not for now?" Justin asked softly, eyes back on the floor. Sure, he'd tell his mom, and probably Daphne, but they never talked to any of the Liberty Diner Gang and he was certain that, with just them knowing, there was no way Brian could know he was there.
"You really don't want to see him?" It was a stupid question, this Lindsay knew, but she couldn't help but ask. She had though that Brian was getting somewhere with Justin. That her friend was actually starting to open up to someone. It hurt to know that she had been wrong in her assumption about Brian and Justin's relationship, mainly because she still felt that it could work. When Justin shook his head, she sighed, but nodded and smiled. "Then no one will know. Not until you're ready."
"Thank you so much, guys. I.I don't know how I can thank you."
"You could wash my car," Melanie replied playfully, pulling Justin up and toward the table, "But that'll have to wait until after we eat breakfast." Sitting Justin in on of the chairs, she placed a plate of food in front of him before wrapping an arm around Lindsay's waist and maneuvering to the other side of the table with her lover. The couple smiled at the teen from across the table and raised their glasses, ceremoniously, a few giggles of excitement escaping their lips.
"Welcome home, baby."
