Disclaimer: SSX Tricky and its characters belong respectively to EA Sports BIG.
We Are NOT Sports PeopleChapter One
It was when Elise spilt milk all over her favorite blouse that she got the first inkling of a bad day ahead. She jumped back and shrieked, picking at her shirt with forefinger and thumb, the wet material clinging onto her like a balloon would to static-charged hair. The jug, which she had accidentally dropped onto the counter, was now spewing milk all over the countertop and on the floor, creeping under her bare feet. She groaned and slapped the now half-empty milk jug, making it do a 360, spraying liquid in a complete circle. Elise bared her teeth and put her fist to her head, groaning again at the bigger mess she'd just made.
Kaori winced and stood up, rushing over to the cabinet under the sink, looking for a paper towel roll. She looked up at Elise and winced again. The accident was half her fault too. It had been her cereal that Elise was fixing.
"Here, I have got it," Kaori mumbled, stepping foreword and picking the milk jug back up, setting it on its bottom. "Sorry for this, Elise. Go and change your shirt. I am sorry."
The milk was now spreading downward from Elise's blouse, staining the tops of her khaki shorts. The tall blonde's face contorted into an ugly look at the feeling, and she stepped backward. She slipped and grabbed the countertop to steady herself. Kaori looked at her.
"Are you all right?"
"Fine," Elise choked out, standing up again. "My feet're wet. That's all."
Kaori nodded and crouched on the floor, placing layer after layer of paper towels on the mess. Elise turned and walked out on tiptoes, her fingers pinching her wet shirt and making sure it wasn't touching her more than it had to.
On her way to her bedroom, Zoe trudged out of her own room, eyes bloodshot and hair mussed. She stopped short, watching Elise with beady eyes as she walked down the hall on her toes like some sort of disgruntled ballerina. "Whoa, what happened to you?"
"Cereal attack," Elise grumbled back quickly, not bothering to look Zoe in the eye. Zoe snickered as she passed.
"I see…" Zoe sniffed the air and her bleary eyes widened. "Whoa, you better change into something quick and take a shower, cause you stink like something bad!"
"Shut it, tattoo face," Elise barked back, opening her bedroom door and tiptoeing inside, slamming it shut. Zoe snickered and continued walking, looking on the floor and noting small, darker patches of color in the carpet where milk had dripped off of Elise. She looked up when she reached the kitchen, watching Kaori throw away handful after handful of drenched paper towels, muttering to herself in rapid Japanese.
"Here," Zoe said, stepping foreword and opening the under-sink cabinet. "A rag would work much better than that." She fished out a couple of dishrags and tossed them at Kaori, studying the full damage the spill had done.
"Arigatou," Kaori mumbled back absentmindedly, taking the rag and using it as her new clean-up weapon. Zoe watched for a second or two before carefully taking a step up and reaching over Kaori and the spill for the milk jug. She grabbed it and its top, wiped the excess milk off the jug, and snapped the top back on, putting it back in the refrigerator.
"This is definitely a waker-upper," Zoe murmured to herself, stretching and wrinkling her nose as the potent smell of spilt milk. "What better way to greet your day…"
Zoe reached over Kaori again to grab the coffee can and the filter slips, stifling a yawn in the process. She rubbed out the excess water in the creases of her eyes, turning the coffee pot on.
"That is the last time I ask Elise to make me a bowl of cereal," Kaori announced, standing up and stretching her back, strained from being crouched for so long. Zoe snickered, stopping a yawn that threatened to escape. "In fact, that may just be the last time I ever eat cereal for breakfast. Misoshiru is so much easier…"
Zoe watched her switch from English to Japanese, continuing to mumble to herself as she picked up the rags and left the room to drop them in the laundry basket. She returned seconds later and hesitantly stepped on and off the spot on the floor where the milk had been spilt. She looked up at Zoe.
"It is a little sticky."
"No big deal. I'll get it later. Get yourself something to eat."
Kaori smiled and thanked Zoe again, reaching for her bowl of dry corn flakes. She noisily chomped on those, retiring to the kitchen table. Zoe looked outside the bus window at the bleak area beyond. The SSX Tricky group had stopped at a rest area for the night, allowing their bus drivers time to regain their strength. All Zoe could see beyond her window was concrete, and past that, a ways away, the bus JP and Luther shared.
"Oh, by the way," Kaori suddenly chirped. She swallowed a mouthful of dry cereal and smiled at Zoe, her youthful innocence beaming in her smile. Kaori certainly didn't mind the mornings, even if they consisted of spilt milk. "Rahzel came by our bus this morning, and said he wants to meets with the group at 11. He said he needed to tell us something important, and that everyone has to be there."
Zoe turned to look back out the window, watching as the bus across the way seemed to shift back and forth due to Luther's large footsteps. "So he's finally going to come out with the big secret, huh?" Zoe mocked, smirking. "Our next publicity stunt, I'm sure. Personally, I think we do too much public showbiz and not enough snowboarding. Boarding will get people's attention much more than watching us put on some stupid show."
Kaori shrugged and looked back down at her bowl, turning the flakes over idly. "Well, it is Rahzel's decision. He is the manager, after all."
Zoe frowned. "We need a new manager, then." She turned her gaze to Kaori and smiled, winking. "What do you think? Kaori the Manager. Kinda has a ring to it, if you ask me."
Kaori grinned back. "Zoe the Manager sounds better."
The older waved her hand in mock sheepishness. "Oh, go on."
Two cups of coffee, a shower and two hours later, Elise, Kaori and Zoe exited their bus, dressed and ready to go. The stench of milk now gone, Elise felt much better, and couldn't help but smile at the bright sun, putting her sunglasses on. The trio headed over to Rahzel's personal tour bus, spotting their manager already waiting for them outside. Rahzel flashed a mouthful of pearly teeth.
"Ah, our Charlie's Angels," he said with a grin, leaning against his bus as they approached. Elise smiled back.
"You got that right, baby."
"Where are the rest of the boarders?"
Elise shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."
"Care to tell us what this meeting thing is about?" Zoe prodded, crossing her arms. Rahzel shook his head.
"Not until everyone's here. I'm not really in the mood to repeat myself ten million times."
In pairs and trios, the rest of the boarders arrived shortly after, all asking the same question Zoe had, and all receiving the same answer. It wasn't until Marisol and Seeiah trotted outside, Marisol still running a brush quickly through her silky hair, that everyone was finally present. Elise sneered, crossing her arms.
"Please don't do that in public, honey," she commented loudly, glaring at the Latino blonde. "Heaven only knows what lice you're throwing into the air."
"Nothing you're not used to, I'm sure," Marisol quipped back, stuffing her hairbrush in her pocketbook and turning to look at Rahzel. The disc jockey smiled at everyone.
"Glad you all could make it," he greeted. Elise quirked an eyebrow.
"No need to compliment us, dearie, it was no big stretch. Wasn't like we had to walk a mile or anything, just get up at an ungodly hour."
"Yea, and speaking of that," Moby suddenly added, his English accent ringing richly in everyone's ears, "why is it that we always have these meeting things so early in the morning? I need my beauty sleep, mate, I'm sure you understand."
JP snorted, watching an invisible something far off in the distance. "Funny," he said, his French tongue accenting his English words, "it doesn't seem to do a thing for you, Moby."
"Interesting comment coming from a rat-faced weasel, mate," Moby snarled back, sneering. "Honestly JP, how many plastic surgery operations 'ave you 'ad?"
Zoe snickered and shot Moby an amused glance. JP turned to look at his English rival. "None, Moby, as my beauty is natural, but I'll gladly pay for you to have one. It would be well worth spending my money."
Eddie turned his head away, overcome by a coughing fit, his afro quivering slightly. Before any further snide exchanges could be made, however, Rahzel pointedly interrupted.
"Now people, please, calm down," he said, frowning. "I'm actually in a good mood today, and you guys are about to spoil it all."
Elise couldn't stop herself. "Rahzel? In a good mood? Whoa somebody, go get me a fresh pair of pants, I think I just wet myself."
"Shut it, senorita," Marisol barked, her blonde hair flipping over her shoulder as she sharply turned her head to glare at Elise. "The man is trying to tell us something, and I'm actually interested. I'm not going to have you make this any longer than it needs to be."
Rahzel continued before an even angrier remark could be returned. He cleared his throat. "As I was saying, you're all probably curious as to what events are coming up in the future. Well, we're doing something we've never done before, and I'm sure it's going to boost our positive standing with the media. Just think, the number of fans you all have right now might double as soon as the next season!"
Zoe nudged Kaori's arm. "What'd I tell ya…" she whispered into the Japanese teen's ear.
"Get to the point, mate, what are we doing?" Moby barked.
"You twelve are going to be participating in—"
But he was interrupted, once again, this time by a shrill howl of laughter. Everyone jumped and turned to see Psymon doubling over in amusement, clutching his stomach weakly. Rahzel crossed his arms and scowled, while most everyone else rolled their eyes and shook their heads.
"Stark, would you like to share with the rest of the class?" Rahzel growled warningly. Psymon sighed with pleasure and looked up, pretending to wipe tears of humor out of his eyes.
"My—my tattoo" —He choked on laughter once again, as if it were too funny to be spoken of—"my tattoo just made the most hilarious comment!"
"Well that's just lovely," Rahzel snapped. "But I'd really appreciate it if you paid more attention to me than your tattoo, just for the moment."
"Yea Sketchy, pay attention," Elise said with a wry grin. Psymon glared at her before Rahzel spoke up again.
"Like I was saying, you all will be participating in a series of sporting events. Not the ones you all are used to, mind, but the simpler ones. Like sports you'd find in an everyday high school, such as basketball, soccer, volleyball, tennis—"
"WHOOOOOA!" Luther suddenly interrupted, staring at Rahzel as if he were mad. "You ain't convincing me into doing nothing! I ain't playing no volleyball game like some kinda pansy woman!"
"Yes you will, Luther," Rahzel said sharply. "I don't care if I have to wrap you in a straightjacket, bind your legs together, and roll you over to the court in a wheelbarrow, you will be participating in every event. Everyone has to."
"BUT IT'LL MAKE ME A PANSY!"
"Everyone else is doing it!" Rahzel pleaded, motioning to the rest of the crowd. Luther seemed unmoved.
"Well they're all pansies anyway! But I ain't, and I ain't becoming one!" He crossed his arms stubbornly for a few seconds, before looking as if he remembered something vitally important. He turned to look at JP. "You ain't a pansy either, JP, just the rest of 'em."
JP waved the apology away airily. "No offense taken, Luther."
Rahzel rolled his eyes. "Never mind, no use arguing with you now. Just know you'll be doing it, or you'll be expelled from the SSX Tricky tour group." Luther looked outraged, not to mention shocked. Rahzel continued amongst his indignant sputtering. "What is the point of this, you ask? Well, we're doing a campaign to encourage kids to play sports, particularly older kids. Teenagers. That's why we're selecting high school-based sports."
Eddie and Brodi looked at each other and grinned, Eddie murmuring something to the gentle giant. JP was mumbling positive remarks in Luther's ear, brightening Luther's sour countenance a bit. Marisol and Seeiah were giggling excitedly, and Psymon looked too stunned to say anything. Mac grinned and looked at Moby.
"Man, I'm gonna waste you when it comes time for this basketball game!" he taunted with teenaged arrogance. "I shoot hoops with my friends all the time! You're so going down!" Moby scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Please, you stupid git, you can't beat me at anything."
"Can to."
"Cannot!"
"Can to!"
"Cannot!"
"Can to!"
Moby opened his mouth to further argue, but Zoe slapped Moby playfully on his rear end, abruptly distracting the Englishman. Moby shouted out a, "WHA-HO!" and turned around, laughing nervously when he saw his best friend smirking behind him.
"Just drop it," Zoe chided, winking at him. She paused, glanced at his rear, and added a playful, "Smart ass."
Moby chortled low in his throat. "Right back at ya, mate."
"High Water High has willingly agreed to let us film our games at their school. Yes, film," Rahzel added at Luther's look of dread. "This isn't going to be the kind of event that'll just be written in the corner of a no-name newspaper. They'll be airing our little mini-olympics by next month, and that's why it's so important that every single one of you participate."
Kaori raised her hand shyly. Rahzel looked at her. "Yes?"
"What if you have to participate in a sport you don't know how to play?"
Rahzel smiled. "Don't worry. Whether you guys need it or not, everyone will be getting an overview of each sport before it's played."
She nodded slowly, unease still evident in her eyes. Mac smiled at her and bumped his shoulder gently against hers. "No fears," he whispered with a smile. "We'll tackle this thing together. I'll be behind you every step of the way."
"Arigatou gozaimasu," she whispered back, her Asian eyes sparkling.
"We'll be arriving at High Water High in about an hour," Rahzel continued, "then you'll be participating in your first event, which is… volleyball, if I'm not mistaken."
There were two simultaneous groans, but Moby's drowned out Luther's by far. "No way in 'ell!" Moby shouted, crossing his arms. "You should know me better than that, mate! I don't play sports on an empty stomach! Can't we eat lunch first?!"
"I'm sorry Moby, but that's the way it's been set up. You can eat lunch after."
Moby groaned melodramatically. "I'm already 'ungry…"
JP rolled his pretty blue eyes, muttering impatiently, "Ugh… English…"
"Now," Rahzel said, slapping his hands and rubbing them together, "if there are no more questions, please return back to your buses, and we'll be on our way." He paused, looking around. Luther cleared his throat.
"I have a question."
"Yes, Luther?"
"You sure there ain't no way outta this mess?" he growled, staring at his feet—or, rather, at his overlarge stomach, as that was all he could see.
Rahzel's jaw rocked on its hinge. "Yes Luther, I'm positively sure. There is no way you're—"
"Not even if I pay ya?" Luther pressed. He turned to JP. "Yo boss, can I borrow a couple thousand dollars—"
"NOT EVEN IF YOU PAY ME!" the disc jockey shouted, losing his temper. "YOU ARE COMPETING, LUTHER, AND THAT'S FINAL! NOW, ARE THERE ANY UNSTUPID QUESTIONS THAT YOU ALL HAVE?"
Seeiah fought hard to hide a smile as she raised her hand. Rahzel looked at her. "Um, yes, I have a question. Is 'unstupid' even a word?"
Marisol burst into a fit of giggles and buried her face into Seeiah's shoulder to stifle them. She slapped Seeiah's hand blindly, and Seeiah tried not to look too tickled with herself. Rahzel didn't look nearly as amused.
"All right then," he said slowly. "No questions. Good. Get back to your buses, now."
"So much for good moods," Elise drawled loudly, smirking. Rahzel glared at her retreating back, mumbling something to himself about overpaid Canadian snowboarders, and entered his own bus, slamming the door.
Zoe playfully bent her knees and charged at Psymon's back, her shoulder making contact with his shoulder blade. Psymon stumbled and turned around, looking murderous until he spotted her. He snorted and smirked, crossing his arms.
"I should have known. You don't have any balance, after all."
"Shut up," Zoe said lightly, smiling at him. "So, does this whole mini-olympics event sound interesting to you at all?"
The feisty-looking boarder quirked a pierced eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? Of course not."
"Awww," Zoe pretended to pout, her eyes glinting. "Sour puss. I'm actually a little excited about the idea of playing basketball again. I used to play for my junior varsity team."
Psymon's teeth flashed. "Oh really? We'll have to go one-on-one sometime…"
"Afraid not!" a voice interrupted them loudly, and Zoe felt an arm being wrapped around her shoulders. She looked up to meet Moby's brown eyes, contrasting her bright blue ones. "'Cause she'll be too busy going one on one-with-me, won't ya, Zoe baby?"
She laughed richly. "You know it!"
"Yea, that's boss," Moby said with a smile, squeezing Zoe's shoulder once before letting go. "Like it. See ya at this ruddy school!"
"All right!" she said with a smile, watching him strut off to his and Psymon's bus. Moby followed the erratic boarder inside, who'd left Zoe's side not a second after the Englishman arrived. Zoe sighed and walked past bus after bus, listening to the squeak and slam of doors opening and shutting.
The sun was bright today, almost too bright, and even at eleven o'clock, it was irritatingly hot. Zoe had never liked high temperatures, liking summer even less. The only good thing about the midyear season was mountain biking, and even then, that sport usually provided for a cool, refreshing breeze. She raised her arm and wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand.
She couldn't wait for winter to arrive, because not only did she need it, but Elise did too. Summer temperatures seemed to feed Elise's already fiery temper, and with Elise and Marisol competing in a volleyball game, Zoe was sure the Canadian bombshell would snap.
Suddenly, up ahead at their bus, Elise's bedroom window banged open. A huge bag of cosmetics rained down from the opening, clanking loudly on the concrete amongst Elise's impatient ranting.
That is, if she hadn't snapped already.
Translations:
Arigatou—Thank you
Arigatou gozaimasu—Thank you very much
Misoshiru—Miso soup
Author's Notes:
Yay. First chapter. Not much to say, other than this fic will be more light-hearted than my last. There might be a bit of romance, if any at all, but not too much. I'm shooting for humor with this baby.
~Pudgoose
